Our day started early, we left at 7:30am to pick up my films and reports, for the doctors, that we were scheduled to meet today. To my surprise when I went to pick them up, one of the nurses came out and presented me with a shawl that her mother had made. This imaging center gives these out, to all those diagnosed with cancer. The shawls are made by other survivors and this is their way to let you know that you are not alone in this fight. I was touched as tears filled her eyes and she told me how much she loved me and was praying that I would have the courage to fight and survive (we only met a few weeks ago.) Then I read the tag on the shawl and it was called a Healing Shawl full of hope,hugs, love and strength, I felt grateful that those who have survived this terrible disease, and then chose to help others who are now going through it. What a wonderful idea and wonderful gift.
We met the Cancer Specialist and the Medical Oncologist at the Seattle Cancer and Wellness Center in Seattle. We felt very good about both of them and the information that they gave us. I have to admit I like places like this, that treat the whole body verses just the symptom or disease. I realized 7 years ago when Jeff and I decided to take a healthier approach to fighting my cancer that it upset many people. I was shocked at how bold and insensitive some people were, mind you... most of those who criticized, have never had cancer themselves. I found out quickly who my true friends were, those who accepted our decision (even though they might have disagreed) and went ahead and supported and loved us all the way. Someone said to me the other day ..."do you regret the path that you took 7 years ago?" I didn't have to think about it....the answer is NO! We did exactly what we felt right about. We did not go into it blindly, we studied, had more than one opinion, did a lot of research and then prayed about what we should do. We had a wonderful 6 years. It is important to take a path that you are comfortable with and believe in. I never counsel other women who have been diagnosed with cancer ,to do anything they don't believe in. So we will do the surgery, get these results from tonight and another test after my surgery and then make an informed decision from there. Trust me... if I could make a decision quicker, I would love to but, I know I need to cover all my bases.
I have to admit of all the creative dates that Jeff and I have been out on in the last 30 years...tonight topped them all, as the worst. At 5:30 we went to the imaging place to do a CT scan, that is where they scan the body to see if the cancer has spread any where else. Dr. Lucas (our cancer specialist) mentioned it is vital to know if the cancer is anywhere else and what we are up against before they open me up. Jeff never left my side, I am afraid that I wasn't as brave as I had hoped to be tonight...then I tried to remember that we are just trying to get all the information about my body as I can. But still it isn't a date night that I ever want to repeat.
Today is almost over and I have to admit, I am glad! I did have some wonderful experiences from the kindness of others, that is never to be under estimated. Kindness does matter, we do need to reach out to others and try to make a connection,and when you do...it is an incredible feeling! I like the saying "THERE ARE NO STRAGERS IN THE WORLD, ONLY FAMILY WE HAVEN'T MET YET" You never hear people complain about, people who are just too kind. But what a difference it can make in someone's life and day. I am looking forward to the weekend so hopefully we can just pretend that JUST FOR A MOMENT that our lives are normal. I just want to hang out with Jeff and the kids and enjoy the next 2 days and try not to worry.
Good Night dear friends and family
P.S. It is late, I sure hope this entry made sense?