Boundaries...everyone needs them!

Oh how I wish I would have learned this lesson when I was much younger. I have struggled with setting Boundaries my whole life. I have tried to teach it to my children for their safety, and for their well being. But I am afraid much of it, they had to learn as they watch me suffer from not setting boundaries at times. I think the best few lines that she talked about were this...
"Empathy w/out boundaries is not empathy...compassion w/out boundaries is not genuine, vulnerablitiy w/out boundaries is not vulnerability. Boundaries are RESPECT."
We need to be able to say " Here is whats okay with me and here is whats not!"
I hope you take a minute to watch her short youtube clip...
Watch it HERE:


Sorry you haven't heard much from me. Lee was home for a week and Jeff has been sick. Trying to get my ONLINE LynnMade Business up and running very soon...so lots to do!
But I will survive this...right?
Night dear friends!

I'm not the only ONE!

Hey after reading this article... I realized how great I felt that there are others ( ok an elephan:) that can benifit from having a prosthetic like me. Actually, I felt blessed that I am happy ...even though I am different that others.
found the article HERE:

Then I saw this story about the Pink dophin and that made me smile. I love the uniqueness of it, it is different but beautiful in it's own way.
Look at this dolphin HERE:

Hmmm...thinking there is a lesson here. To be grateful for what we have, to be happy. Be yourself, believe in yourself, and to do as Mother Theresa said...

"Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house... let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." 

So true!
Good Night dear friends!


Look at this photo HERE:

Ten Life Laws...food for thought!

I was researching some things lately and found this article... funny because it was just what I needed to read. I know that I have done some of these before, and then some I have meant to get around to doing. I think all of us could read these and realize the changes we want to make...and not only want to make but NEED TO MAKE, at least I know I do!
Food for thought!
Good Night dear friends!

Dr. Phil's Ten Life Laws

Life Law #1: You either get it or you don't.
Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.

It's easy to tell these people apart. Those who "get it" understand how things work and have a strategy to create the results they want. Those who don't are stumbling along looking puzzled, and can be found complaining that they never seem to get a break.

You must do what it takes to accumulate enough knowledge to "get it." You need to operate with the information and skills that are necessary to win. Be prepared, tune in, find out how the game is played and play by the rules.

In designing a strategy and getting the information you need — about yourself, people you encounter, or situations — be careful from whom you accept input. Wrong thinking and misinformation can seal your fate before you even begin.

Life Law #2: You create your own experience.
Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. Understand your role in creating results.
You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations.

Don't play the role of victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no healing, and no victory. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you've been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of yourself now.

Every choice you make — including the thoughts you think — has consequences. When you choose the behavior or thought, you choose the consequences. If you choose to stay with a destructive partner, then you choose the consequences of pain and suffering. If you choose thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, then you will create an experience of alienation and hostility. When you start choosing the right behavior and thoughts — which will take a lot of discipline — you'll get the right consequences.

Life Law #3: People do what works.
Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.

Even the most destructive behaviors have a payoff. If you did not perceive the behavior in question to generate some value to you, you would not do it. If you want to stop behaving in a certain way, you've got to stop "paying yourself off" for doing it.

Find and control the payoffs, because you can't stop a behavior until you recognize what you are gaining from it. Payoffs can be as simple as money gained by going to work to psychological payoffs of acceptance, approval, praise, love or companionship. It is possible that you are feeding off unhealthy, addictive and imprisoning payoffs, such as self-punishment or distorted self-importance.

Be alert to the possibility that your behavior is controlled by fear of rejection. It's easier not to change. Try something new or put yourself on the line. Also consider if your need for immediate gratification creates an appetite for a small payoff now rather than a large payoff later.

Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn't working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.

If you're unwilling or unable to identify and consciously acknowledge your negative behaviors, characteristics or life patterns, then you will not change them. (In fact, they will only grow worse and become more entrenched in your life.) You've got to face it to replace it.

Acknowledgment means slapping yourself in the face with the brutal reality, admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you are doing, and giving yourself a no-kidding, bottom-line truthful confrontation. You cannot afford the luxury of lies, denial or defensiveness.

Where are you now? If you hope to have a winning life strategy, you have to be honest about where your life is right now. Your life is not too bad to fix and it's not too late to fix it. But be honest about what needs fixing. If you lie to yourself about any dimension of your life, an otherwise sound strategy will be compromised.

Life Law #5: Life rewards action.
Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. Learn that the world couldn't care less about thoughts without actions.

Talk is cheap. It's what you do that determines the script of your life. Translate your insights, understandings and awareness into purposeful, meaningful, constructive actions. They are of no value until then. Measure yourself and others based on results — not intentions or words.

Use any pain you have to propel you out of the situation you are in and to get you where you want to be. The same pain that burdens you now could be turned to your advantage. It may be the very motivation you need to change your life.

Decide that you are worth the risk of taking action, and that your dreams are not to be sold out. Know that putting yourself at risk may be scary, but it will be worth it. You must leave behind the comfortable and familiar if you are to move onward and upward.

Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception.
Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. Acknowledge your history without being controlled by it.

You know and experience this world only through the perceptions that you create. You have the ability to choose how you perceive any event in your life, and you exercise this power of choice in every circumstance, every day of your life. No matter what the situation, you choose your reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event.

We all view the world through individual filters, which influence the interpretations we give events, how we respond, and how we are responded to. Be aware of the factors that influence the way you see the world, so you can compensate for them and react against them. If you continue to view the world through a filter created by past events, then you are allowing your past to control and dictate both your present and your future.

Filters are made up of fixed beliefs, negative ideas that have become entrenched in your thinking. They are dangerous because if you treat them as fact, you will not seek, receive or process new information, which undermines your plans for change. If you "shake up" your belief system by challenging these views and testing their validity, the freshness of your perspective can be startling.

Life Law #7: Life is managed; it is not cured.
Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life and hold on. This is a long ride, and you are the driver every single day.

You are a life manager, and your objective is to actively manage your life in a way that generates high-quality results. You are your own most important resource for making your life work. Success is a moving target that must be tracked and continually pursued.

Effective life management means you need to require more of yourself in your grooming, self-control, emotional management, interaction with others, work performance, dealing with fear, and in every other category you can think of. You must approach this task with the most intense commitment, direction and urgency you can muster.

The key to managing your life is to have a strategy. If you have a clear-cut plan, and the courage, commitment and energy to execute that strategy, you can flourish. If you don't have a plan, you'll be a stepping stone for those who do. You can also help yourself as a life manager if you manage your expectations. If you don't require much of yourself, your life will be of poor quality. If you have unrealistic standards, then you are adding to your difficulties.

Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.

You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.

If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling — and then get their way — you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.

Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.

Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness.
Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Take your power back from those who have hurt you.

Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with your own peace, joy and relaxation. Ugly emotions change who you are and contaminate every relationship you have. They can also take a physical toll on your body, including sleep disturbance, headaches, back spasms, and even heart attacks.

Forgiveness sets you free from the bonds of hatred, anger and resentment. The only way to rise above the negatives of a relationship in which you were hurt is to take the moral high ground, and forgive the person who hurt you.

Forgiveness is not about another person who has transgressed against you; it is about you. Forgiveness is about doing whatever it takes to preserve the power to create your own emotional state. It is a gift to yourself and it frees you. You don't have to have the other person's cooperation, and they do not have to be sorry or admit the error of their ways. Do it for yourself.

Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it.
Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.

Not knowing what you want — from your major life goals to your day-to-day desires — is not OK. The most you'll ever get is what you ask for. If you don't even know what it is that you want, then you can't even ask for it. You also won't even know if you get there!

By being specific in defining your goal, the choices you make along the way will be more goal-directed. You will recognize which behaviors and choices support your goals — and which do not. You will know when you are heading toward your goal, and when you are off track.

Be bold enough to reach for what will truly fill you up, without being unrealistic. Once you have the strength and resolve enough to believe that you deserve what it is that you want, then and only then will you be bold enough to step up and claim it. Remember that if you don't, someone else will.

 

Found the article HERE:

Being alone with oneself!

It took me years to truly understand this quote and what it. means. I usually didn't ever want to be alone, especially with myself. Why? Because being alone with myself meant I a had to be alone with the thoughts I had too. I didn't really like myself very much for years, and so once I did learn to love myself and to control my thoughts and fears...I actually enjoy spending time with  ME !
Good night dear friends!

Be nice to yourself!

I liked this quote, it is a great one for me to remember...because I sometimes really pick on myself. Such a simple thing... but yet when you are in the world sometimes, it seems like everything is telling you that you are not enough. But deep down I know I am. Just need to remember that more often.

One way of helping me with my thoughts, is going to church on Sundays. I love the Sabbath. I love that it is a different day than any of the other days of the week. I love that it is a day of rest, mostly from our labors but...it is a day of rest and recharging my spiritual battery. How grateful I am that our Heavenly Father set one day aside for us to not only honor Him, but to remember Him and to learn how to be more like Him and His Son Jesus Christ. I love the scriptures... and in them so often I find the peace and joy, that I simply can't find any other place. So I am thankful today to live in America and where we have religious freedoms! Yes, I feel full of gratitude today! I am truly blessed!
Good night dear friends!

10 tips on learning how to change yourself for the better!

I loved this article and especially this quote ...

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

That is so true, it is important that we look inward when thinking of changing things. I love the 10 tips that Gandi gives, you can read the whole article.here:

"If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns."

Gandhi's 10 Rules for Changing the World

1. Change yourself.
2. You are in control.
3. Forgive and let it go.
4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.
5. Take care of this moment.
6. Everyone is human.
7. Persist.
8. See the good in people and help them.
9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.
10. Continue to grow and evolve.

"The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems." --Mahatma Gandhi


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All about choices, again!

Today started out great, I had a massage and was able to quiet down some of the inflammation in my neck and back. I am telling you my massage therapist is AMAZING! I was still hurting from the exam I had to have on Monday through our insurance. I struggled to know if I shouldn't have stopped the chiropractor that was being so tough on me. I think if I hadn't even had too many neck issues...he sure would have given them to me. So for the last two days I have been in a whole lot more pain and frustrated because when I am sitting at the sewing machine  ( which is often, because that is my job ) it hurts a  lot too! So the massage was a welcome relief.
I had a great day at work and had a lot of wonderful comments on my new line of projects for It's A Girl!
Then on the way home I stopped into Weight Watchers to weigh in for the month. It has been 9 months that I have been on Maintenance and I have only gained or lost one pound ...more than once during that 9 months, I guess that isn't bad. Maintaning the exact weight isn't as easy as it looks. I knew the last couple of weeks that I felt like I had gained and ....sure enough I had. I gained 2 lbs and 1 oz! Now many of you may think that isn't much and it isn't in some ways, and in other ways it is!  2lb and if you don't get rid of that then you gain another pound or more back... and pretty soon it is 5 pounds or so.
So I need to make better choices and ones that I will thank myself for in the future! And I will!
Good night dear friends!

To Thine Own Self Be True

I found these words to live by… in a Family Circle when I was at the Doctor’s office.

Since I am hurting a lot tonight, I thought I had best give you someone else’s positive

thoughts, mine are far and few between tonight. Good night dear friends!

 

“ The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”  ~ Montaigne

“Stand tall, and the world will rise up with you.”   ~ Anonymous

“Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”  ~ John Wooden

“Once we give up searching for approval, we often find it easier to earn respect.”   ~ Gloria Steinem

“Never grow a wishbone…where your backbone ought to be.”   ~ Clementine Paddleford

“ You are the product of your own brainstorm.”   ~ Rosemary Konner Steinbaum

“The better life, cannot be imposed from without---it must grow from within.”   ~ Mrs. Humphrey Ward

 

“ Let me listen to me and not to them.”  ~ Gertrude Stein

 

“ Be the most you can be, so life will be more because you were.”   ~Susan Giaspell

Everyone needs help sometime!

I read this short story and thought how true! We all from time to time in our lives need help. Do we ask for it, or do we just keep going along hoping that someone, somewhere will see us for who we really are and offer us some help? The point of this story I believe is that we are all here to help each other. May we look around at the people we meet every day and see how we can help them and in turn, it just might be ... that we need their help too!

Don't We All
I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come
from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to get out of work.
Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would
consider a bum.
From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no
money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times
that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of those "don't
want to be bothered times."
"I hope he doesn't ask me for any money," I thought.
He didn't.
He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop but he didn't look
like he could have enough money to even ride the bus.
After a few minutes he spoke.
"That's a very pretty car," he said.
He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly
blond beard keep more than his face warm.
I said, "thanks," and continued wiping off my car.

He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never
came.
As the silence between us widened something inside said, "ask him if
he needs any help." I was sure that he would say "yes" but I held true
to the inner voice.
"Do you need any help?" I asked.
He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget.
We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from
those of higher learning and accomplishments.

I expected nothing but an
outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me.
"Don't we all?" he said.

I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum
in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge
shotgun.
Don't we all?
I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I
needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus
fare, but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day. Those
three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter
how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you
have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or
a place to sleep, you can give help.

Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that.
You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all.
They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different
perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from
daily chaos, that only you through a torn world can see.
Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe
he was more than that.

Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and
wise, to minister to a soul too comfortable in themselves. ~ Unknown

"He who gives when he is asked has waited too long."  ~Sunshine Magazine

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."  ~Winston Churchill

Learning to celebrate yourself!

I did sports most of my life and this quote "your best defense is a good offense" was repeated to me by many of my coaches. Now that I am out of school and on my own in life it is still a wonderful reminder to me of how to make the best of myself and my life. I read this article and thought it actually went along with my post last night. They were great suggestions, I am going to go and try some of them right now, how about you?

How to Celebrate yourself  ~Patricia Spadaro

The biggest roadblock to success in life is self-doubt. Doubt makes you susceptible to the critical voices--inside and out--that whisper negative affirmations such as, “I am not worthy, good enough, or capable enough to achieve my dreams.”

Don't let doubt stop you in your tracks. To keep doubts and doubters at bay, learn to celebrate the magnificent, shining part of you--even when life's storms momentarily eclipse its brilliance. Here are eight simple, but powerful, strategies to help you honor your inner radiance and keep voting for yourself--no matter what is happening around you.

Write Yourself a note...

Pretend for a moment that you are your own greatest advocate and cheerleader. Now write a supportive and encouraging note to yourself as if you were cheering yourself on. Then pop it in an envelope and mail it to yourself. When you are traveling, send a postcard with an inspiring message to your home address. Right before shutting down your e-mail for the night, send yourself a note of appreciation so that you will see it first thing when you download your e-mail the next day. Develop the habit of applauding your own greatness in tangible ways.

Personalize Your Screen Saver

Set the screen saver on your computer monitor to show images or affirmations that counteract the negative or doubting voices within and without. Be specific. Address what you are currently focusing on in your life. For example, you can set your screen saver to display a sentence or phrase that reminds you of your most important intention, such as “I take great care of myself because I deserve to be happy and healthy,” “I choose to spend my time in ways that energize and uplift me,” or “I listen to my own feelings when making decisions.” You might want to just use the simple phrase, “I honor myself every day."

Keep a Childhood Photo Nearby

Choose a photo of yourself as a child that reminds you of your innate joy, sweetness, curiosity, or love of life—a photo that reflects who you really are at heart. Buy a beautiful frame for it and place the photo somewhere where you can view it often. Every time you see it, let that heart-opening image put you back in touch with the precious part of yourself that reflects back to you your real nature.

Hang Out with Supporters

If you allow yourself to be pressured or pummeled by someone who doesn’t appreciate your gifts, you will only be in a constant battle that will eat away at your energy and enthusiasm. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone or justify your dreams and plans. Your job is to be you. Steer clear of critics and worrywarts. Surround yourself with friends who will champion your self-worth, cheer you on with both hands high in the air, and make you feel good about yourself—people you, in turn, can wholeheartedly support.

Turn On Your Windshield Wipers

You may not be able to stop the rain that falls into your life, but you can turn on your windshield wiper to clear away the frustrations, criticisms, and self-doubts that, like a drenching downpour, can obscure your vision and make it hard to see where you’re going. When you’re feeling upset or when others aren’t valuing you, what helps you see clearly again? Taking some time alone? Meditation or prayer? Journaling? Exercise? Walking in nature? Watching an inspiring movie? Talking to a supportive friend? Scheduling a massage or a session with a life coach? Make a list of the tools that work for you so you don’t forget to put them into action when the storm clouds let loose.

Pull Out Your Feel-Good File

To help you celebrate who you really are (not what others say you are) save all the cards, e-mails, and letters people have sent to thank you or express what they value or love about you. Save other mementos that bring to mind your strong points, your accomplishments, and the joy you have given others. Put them in a special box or file folder. When you’re beset, upset, or have lost sight of your smile for a while, pull out that collection. Read what’s inside to remind yourself that the drama or trauma that happens around you is not who you are.

Develop and Give Your Gifts

Every one of us is wonderful in some way. Yet it’s so easy to concentrate on our shortcomings rather than applaud our positive qualities. Remember that you energize whatever you focus on. So why not focus on the part of you that shines? If you were to act on your greatness—the part of you that is meant to light the way for others—how would you give your gifts? What would you do to increase your capacity to give? Write down the answers to those questions and then ask yourself each week: What one step can I take, even if it’s a small one, to celebrate my greatness, develop my gifts, and give more of myself to others?

Create an Arsenal of Affirmations

The best defense is a good offense. Doubts and detractors may try to unseat you, but you can be prepared ahead of time with the truth. Write down two or more affirmations to say aloud or to yourself to counter doubts and criticisms that may well up inside of you or come from others. Maybe you need to affirm “I am a magnificent being in the process of becoming ever more magnificent,” or “I have something important to say and I say it with confidence and ease,” or “My job is not to be perfect but to be the best I can be right now.” Keep these affirmations handy and, when the barrage comes, turn to your list and fire away with conviction in your heart.

"To the question of your life you are the answer, and to the problems of your life you are the solution."          ~Joe Cordare

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through.  Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it.  This is a kind of death."  ~Anaïs Nin

Happy birthday

Today is my daughter in law's birthday, which made me think of this quote it is one that we should put in every birthday card for every woman in the world. It goes like this...

"There are two important days in a woman's life-the day she is born and the day she finds out why."

~ Elaine Cannon

I have said this on more than one occasion, that it is important we find out what our mission and purpose in life is and also, to recognize how Satan works on us. I learned a long time ago that Satan can not tempt me with smoking, drinking, gambling,stealing etc. but where he seems to hurt me the most is... my self esteem. I daily have to work at that and remember no matter what I see in the mirror, that I am a daughter of God and I have great potential. Everyone has there weaknesses in life, it is suppose to be like that so  we can learn and grow. But it is vital to be aware of exactly what your weaknesses and temptations are, so that you can stay far away from them. Keeping your eyes open and watching for those, I think is a great way to help protect and nurture  yourself.

So today my birthday advice for my sweet daughter-in-law would be this...

~know what your mission is in life

~learn to love the person you see in the mirror and love others

~forgive yourself and others (remember know one is perfect)

~enjoy each day to the fullest

~ learn to listen to your body and take care of it

~ and remember your are a Daughter of God with great potential!

I guess this is great advice for all of us to remember. Hope you have a wonderful day!

"It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes."  ~ Sally Field

"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others." ~Dr.Sonya Friedman

"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." ~ Sidney J. Harris

Pain vs Service

I have heard my whole life that if you are hurting, frustrated or depressed...the best thing you can do is serve someone else. In doing so we forget (for maybe only a minute or so) our problems, pains and frustrations. It gives us a clearer view on life and it's true meaning.

I have always loved the Bible, I love reading and learning more about Christ and the type of life that He lived. I never have to wonder really what to do or say, because He simply has already shown us the way! One of my favorite scriptures is in the book of St. John 13:4-9, 15-17. It is where Christ washes the feet of his disciples. The disciples of course feel that they are not worthy for Him to do that. Knowing who He was, they felt like they should be the one giving the service to Him. His response in these verses is what I love the most. He told them that He was doing it as an example for them. He reminded them that the servant is not great then his Lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. He also reminded them that it was important to know these things but more important... to do them!

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."  ~Albert Einstein

Last night Lauren and I went over and gave Amy a foot massage and a pedicure (since she can't reach her feet). I know that she felt a bit uncomfortable with us serving her like that. I probably would have felt the same. She kept mentioning how bad her feet looked and how embarrassed she was at how swollen they were. She obviously was struggling with our gift to her. That is what was running through her head but I have to admit, my thoughts were much different.

I have been in a lot of pain the past few weeks with my back ( for some reason, worse than normal ) I am also having some pain and worrying about my swelling in my surgery site ( lymphodemia ) but I was so excited and forgot all about that, when I realized that we could do this gift of service for Amy last night. Yes, my back and chest still hurt, but what I was thinking sitting down there on the floor last night, was how proud I was of my daughter. How much I loved her and if I could in any way help her to relax, feel better and more loved... then I was determined to do it. I rubbed her swollen feet and I remembered ( years ago ) rubbing lotion on her little dry feet in the hospital, just after she was born. How proud I was of her last night for being brave and strong, pregnancy and especially the last few weeks....are not easy thing! I was glad to be her mom, I truly love her and would do that and anything else to serve her. And I was happy doing it! ( Sore, and still hurting, but happy!) I was grateful for an hour or so, to be able to think of something and someone else.

 

I hope we will all think of more ways that we can serve, I promise you it will ALWAYS make you feel better inside! Thank  you to each of  you that have served me and my family throughout the years

 

"Things don’t have to be good for you to be great."  ~ unknown

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."  ~ Edmund Burke

"I expect to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now and not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again"~ William Penn

Being honest with yourself.

I have found it beneficial sometimes to look in the mirror and try to truly see what the real Lynn Woodard looks like. If I just take a glance, I only see a worn out body, that has battled with cancer. But if I look longer and closer, I see someone who is still here and still has work to do on herself ...both physically and mentally.

I loved this quote I found about the defects that we see in our lives and how they can make us better and stronger if we only realize that is part of life, to learn and to grow. So I guess if I still have things to work on, then that is ok and that just means I am still alive to work on them. No small thing to be thankful for.

Thanks to each of you for helping me see who I really am, when sometimes I get stuck on the reflection in the mirror. I am much more than that and yet I have so much growing and work yet to do. I think this is where the quote "JOY IN THE JOURNEY "  should go. I need to constantly remember that.  Good night

OUR DEFECTS

An empty mirror and your worst destructive habits,

when they are held up to each other,

that’s when the real making begins.

That’s what art and crafting are.

A tailor needs a torn garment to practice his expertise.

The trunks of trees must be cut and cut again,

so they can be used for fine carpentry.

Your doctor must have a broken leg to doctor.

Your defects are the ways that glory gets manifested.

Rumi as translated by Coleman Barks

Christmas in July

I heard on the radio the other day a disc-jockey that said some of your first memories, could tell you about your future. When he would interview people and asked them their earliest childhood memory, he then would compare it to what they were doing now. It was interesting to listen to. I thought of one of my earliest childhood memories, and it was sitting at my own little table and chairs. The TV was turned on in front of my table and for an hour or 1/2(?) I would watch a show called "Art with Miss Shirley". My mom said it was the only time in the whole day that I would sit still!  Miss Shirley was amazing, I thought she could do anything. She would tell me how to use all my crayons, paste, construction paper and scissors to make the most beautiful things I had ever seen. Then as soon as that was off, I had to eat lunch, take a nap and then I would get up and go back and recreate more of what she taught me that day. If it was paper placemats or paper lanterns, I made quite a few more. Then I would give them out to our neighbors or my Aunt and Grandmother.

Now this disc-jockey would probably say to me ...that is why I was a vender at the craft fairs. I entered my first craft show at the age of 12 and did that until in my 30's (when my back finally gave out). I still like to create crafts and gifts today. I guess it would be true in some ways. I never do things one at a time, I always make multiples in case I forget a birthday or something like that. It is a joke in our home, that I can't make just one of anything. When it comes to Christmas, I do tend to get a bit out of control on the gift giving. I guess there could be worse things to be out of control with, right?

I am sorta the same way about letter writing, I know that is a art that is slowly being lost, but as Jeff would say "it's a art that will never be lost as long as Lynn is alive". He also says that I could have stock in the Post Office with all the letters and packages that I mail. He said being married to me is just like... being married to Mrs. Santa! Some how I am not feeling like that is quite the compliment that I think it is. Well,it is true....I love to create things for my loved ones and friends and I don't think anyone can send too many letters or packages. The thrill of getting something in the mail is still a big deal.

So now you know two of my favorite things, creating gifts and writing cards. The next favorite of mine is Christmas time. I am so glad to see all the Christmas in July sales. Not because I am going to buy anything, but because they are already talking about Christmas. I drive my family crazy because I want to play Christmas Carols all year long. I do stop in January or sometimes Feb. But now that it is July, Angie and I are starting to get practiced up on our Christmas songs. I can see my family roll their eyes but,they know there is nothing better than the Spirit of Christmas and the excitement of a little child.

I will leave you with this sweet Christmas Poem about a Christmas Letter and hope that you will remember for just a minute or two, how blessed we are to celebrate that Sacred Season. Also, hopefully this post will also remind you to continue to do something that you love every day and maybe even get out some pen and paper and write a letter!  :) Happy Christmas in July!

"The one good thing about not seeing you is that I can write you letters."  ~Svetlana Alliluyeva

A CHILD'S LETTER TO SANTA

December 4, 2002

Snowflakes softly falling, upon your window they play.
Your blanket is snug around you, into sleep you drift away.
I bend to gently kiss you, when I see that on the floor,
There's a letter neatly written, I wonder whom it's for.
I quietly unfold it, making sure you're still asleep.
It's a Christmas list for Santa; one my heart will always keep.
It started just as always, with the toys seen on TV,
A new watch for your father and a winter coat for me.
But as my eyes read on, I could see that deep inside,
There were many things you wished for, that your loving heart would hide.
You asked if your friend Molly could have another Dad.
It seems her father hits her, and it makes you very sad.
Then you asked dear Santa, if the neighbor down the street,
Could find a job that he might have some food, and clothes, and heat.
You saw a family on the news, whose house had blown away.
"Dear Santa, send them just one thing, a place where they can stay."
"And Santa, those four cookies, that I left you for a treat,
Could you take them to the children, who have nothing else to eat?"
"Do you know that little bear I have, the one I love so dear?
I'm leaving it for you to take to Africa this year".
"And as you fly your reindeer, on this night of Jesus' birth,
Could your magic bring to everyone, goodwill and peace on earth?"
"There's one last thing before you go, so grateful I would be,
If you'd smile at Baby Jesus, in the manger by our tree."
I pulled the letter close to me, I felt it melt my heart.
Those tiny hands had written what no other could impart.
"And a little child shall lead them," was whispered in my ear,
As I watched you sleep on Christmas Eve, while Santa Claus was here.

--- Author Unknown ---

 

Start with yourself

As a mother, it has always been interesting to me on how we... as mothers find the balance that we need in our lives. It seems like the world just keep yelling at us to "keep going, do better, be everything to everybody, and you need to be PERFECT!"  When that was going on, I found it hard to be able to hear that sweet, calming voice that said "just do the best that you can and trust". I don't think this is even just a mother's dilemma ...but a Woman's too. Why is that balance so hard to find?

I believe the worst part is that our kids and families watch us almost fall apart, trying to achieve the PERFECT MOM or WOMAN role. I look back with a lot of regret that I didn't take better care of myself first. It always  makes me think of the stewardess on the airplanes when she reminds you ...in the case of an emergency to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before your children. That way you have the ability to help them. Why is that such a hard concept to learn? When we take care of ourselves first (not in a selfish way) but in a healthy way, then, we have a lot more to offer our family and friends why?  Because we are full, our barrel is full and there for, we have something to give. I don't even want to tell you how many years that I continually tried to keep serving others from an empty barrel. ( that hurts! ) Worse than that, physically and emotionally and spiritually, it takes years to recoup from constantly being on empty and still moving.

I spoke with a dear friend the other day who is struggling over some of the decisions of her children. As I listened to her, I wanted to ask her what have you done for yourself lately? Are you happy? Are you taking the time you need to fill your barrel? Have you done the best that you can? If so...then just trust ,that your kids have it in them, to make the right decisions. I know the feeling of watching your kids make decisions that you wish they wouldn't and some times just knowing what the consequences will be( because you have a little experience in this area)...makes it even harder to watch. But I am learning (of course it was the hard way) to just focus back on me and what I am suppose to be doing. I do know that kids (any age) watch more than they listen. Motherhood is one of the best and hardest jobs that there is out there, so remember to take it in stride and be patient with yourself.

So I hope you enjoy this poem about taking care of yourself first. Understanding that the only people we can change is ....ourselves! Thanks to all of you, that have continued to remind me of this and who have set the best example for me.

 

Start With Yourself

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.

But, it too, seemed immovable.

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me, but alas, they would have none of it.

And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realize: If I had only changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family.

From their inspiration and encouragement, I would then have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed the world.

Words written tomb of an Anglican Bishop, Westminster Abbey London

Just one bodies

A couple of weeks ago when my granddaughter Angie was over, she came into my room while I was changing. As usual I just tried to give her other things to do or play with, so that I could have some privacy in getting dressed. But as a normal three year old, she is very curious and kept trying to see what my body looked like. At one point she just kept circling around me till she saw me and then she said with such a serious little voice and face "Nana, you only have one bodies" as she pointed to my chest.

I wasn't sure what I should do or say, I finally bent down and let her see my scar and then she touch it and said it again. I said yes, remember when it was an owie? Now it is all better now. We then talked for a minute about how it doesn't hurt any more ( she remembered the burn and owie that I had for months). Then as quickly as it started, she was off to look at something else in my room. I started finished getting dressed, thinking that her little mind was somewhere else, but as soon as I put on my bra, she said "Nana, now you have two bodies". She seemed to think all was well, and then she left the room.

I smiled when she left, thinking of how innocent these little children are, they see things and just want to know what it going on. I well remember months ago when I didn't even want Jeff or myself, to have to look at the incision and burn, now here I am letting my little granddaughter touch and see it and trying to explain to her that Nana is going to be alright.

As I talked to a sweet  peaceful feeling came over me and reminded me, that I am truly going to be alright. Yes, I have to go the rest of my life with just "ONE BODIES" but I am here and I am healthy and with my family and friends around me, yes... I am going to be alright!

I will let Amy tell Angie in a few years, why nana can't come to show and tell at school with her just "one bodies". :)  I am sure there will be many more questions for me. My life won't be the same necessary as others. I will forever have to straighten my shirts, (because... of only having one bodies), I will forever have to do Physical Therapy ever day (because ...of only having one bodies and no lymph nodes), I will forever have to bring Mandy (my prosthetic) with me every day ( so... I can have two bodies), but I am surviving and I am grateful for that.

I am especially grateful for a sweet little granddaughter who reminded me that I am going to be ok and to enjoy every moment that I have. Gratitude...that is what this "ONE BODIES" reminds me of each day!

I know that many of you have been on this journey with me since the beginning of my cancer, how can I ever say thanks enough for your love and support? Thank you, (just like Angie) for reminding me that I am going to be ok!

 

"A young child is, indeed, a true scientist, just one big question mark. What? Why? How? I never cease to marvel at the recurring miracle of growth, to be fascinated by the mystery and wonder of this brave enthusiasm."   ~Victoria Wagner

 

"Children are our most valuable natural resource."   ~ Herbert Hoover

 

P.S. Ok, I found this little story that seemed to fit well with my post today...enjoy!

 

A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with women grabbing towels and running for cover.

The child watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”

As ye sow, so shall ye reap

I am always interested in what makes people tick. I believe there are many aspects to that answer, but the bottom line for me is how to be an observer self each day. Knowing how to make the necessary changes that come with life and life's challenges and experiences. Life is all about change ... Isaac Asimov "The only constant is change..." I think that it is vital, to look at the decisions that we make each day, what are we sowing? I am just trying to plant a few pumpkin plants in my garden for my granddaughter and I totally expect to have pumpkins this fall not anything else. I think this article was good on this whole subject. I hope it makes us all stop and think on a daily basis what we are really sowing!

The Strangest Secret
by Earl Nightingale
George Bernard Shaw said, "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, they make them."
Well, it's pretty apparent, isn't it? And every person who discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.
Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn't know where he's going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety and worry - his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing... he becomes nothing.
How does it work? Why do we become what we think about? Well, I'll tell you how it works, as far as we know. To do this, I want to tell you about a situation that parallels the human mind.
Suppose a farmer has some land, and it's good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn't care. It's up to the farmer to make the decision.
We're comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn't care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn't care what you plant.
Now, let's say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand- one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds-one corn, the other nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land...and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.
As it's written in the Bible, "As ye sow, so shall ye reap."
Remember the land doesn't care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants - one corn, one poison.
The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn't care what we plant...success...or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal...or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on. But what we plant it must return to us.
You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches

" NOBODY CAN GO BACK AND START A NEW BEGINNING, BUT ANYONE CAN START TODAY AND MAKE A NEW ENDING" ~Maria Robinson

" THE KEY TO CHANGE...IS TO LET GO OF FEAR" ~ Rosanne Cash

"SOMETIMES IT'S THE SMALLEST DECISIONS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER" ~ Keri Russell

"BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD" ~Mahatma Gandi