Don't forget the 3 C's!

Great thought for the day!

Trying to change your spouse?

Read this great article from Jason F. Wright. I love how he took something that the world tells you not to do and explains exactly why you should do just that!
Good night dear friends!

Yes, you should try to change your spouse!

Just for fun, Google this question: “Can I change my spouse?”

Brace yourself. There are more than 5,000,000 results.

What’s the most popular answer? “Don’t try to change your spouse.”

It’s the most parroted slice of marital advice since Adam and Eve said, “I do.”

It sounds snazzy on the surface, doesn’t it? “Just. Change. You.”

Come on, that’s not marital advice. That’s a bumper sticker at a couples’ retreat.

I fell victim, too. During the early part of my 20-year marriage, whenever my wife, Kodi, shared any advice or constructive criticism, the natural man in my head whispered that maybe I just wasn’t good enough. I needed to look in the mirror and change myself into what she wanted me to be.

But through two decades together, I’ve learned that what Kodi really wants is exactly what I want. She doesn’t want a new me; she just wants me to be a better version of the “me” I already am.

Like all couples, my wife and I witness layers of goodness in each other that only we, through marriage, are able to see. It’s one of the great miracles of matrimony.

Kodi knows my talents, tests, strengths and weaknesses like nobody but the Heavenly Father who created us in the first place.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I’m glad my wife is trying to change her flawed husband. She knows just how much better I could be if I had the same confidence in myself that she has in me.

I bet your spouse feels the same. (About you, not about me. That would be weird.)

I’m not too shy to say that I want her to change, too. Not because Kodi isn’t good enough already — she’s magnificent — but because I recognize potential in her that goes beyond this life and into the next.

If your relationship is sometimes out of tune – no marriage is without an off-key note every few bars - make a list of your spouse’s many amazing attributes. Odds are the things you appreciated when you first married are still standing right in front of you.

Focus like a laser on your partner’s positives. Then, help him or her find ways to magnify those attributes until they’re so prominent, there’s nothing else left.

Identify the good, isolate it, protect it, and feed it until it’s all they are. Use praise to crowd out the negative and quit worrying about trying to change what you think is broken. Instead, help them transform what’s good into something even better.

Is your wife good with people? Tell her.

Encourage her. Help her grow those skills into even greater self-confidence.

Is your husband handy around the house? Tell him.

Encourage him. Praise him for doing what many cannot. Invite him to use his talents to bless neighbors and strangers.

Remind your partner in life, love and trials that you are their chief cheerleader. Let them know that because you love God and them, in that order, you want them to change — for good.

Can you change your spouse?

Sure you can, no matter what Google says. But beware; all this changing your spouse might just be good for you, too.

I found the article HERE:

Flexible

Flexible, some times I think I am, but then other times....I think I have a hard time changing something when I have always done one way. Like Thanksgiving for example, as much as I love Christmas, I love Thanksgiving too! We have never put up Christmas before Thanksgiving. Yet this year...I almost did! Not that it is bad, but I love the Fall, and the season of Gratitude. Why did I almost change it?

Well, every year we have a Christmas Open House for our Neighborhood, we have done it for 15 years now and I think the only year we didn't have it...was 5 years ago, when I was diagnosed with cancer for the 2nd time. I had a mastectomy just 3 weeks before when the Open House would have been and I just couldn't do it.

This year Thanksgiving is later in the month than usual, which means I will only have 4 days to put up Christmas and be ready....that is impossible for me! So I thought maybe this week I should take down Thanksgiving and start Christmas so I had a few more days to decorate. I was so sad about that, couldn't imagine having Thanksgiving without all the decorations. Lee brought up all the Thanksgiving and Harvest boxes ( storage containers that I keep it all in ) and then he left for work. I found other things to do instead of taking it down, just still didn't feel right but knew if I tried to put up Christmas in 4 days, I would end up sick from over doing it. ( Remember I am good at that !) Anyway, right before I started to take down the Thanksgiving stuff, I called to talk to Amy. After I told her what I was going to do, she protested saying  " But Mom, you have never put up Christmas before Thanksgiving!" I agreed with her but tried to explain how desperate I was. Then she gave me another suggestion and being the FLEXIBLE PERSON that I am :), I agreed!

She suggested that since we haven't sent out any invites yet, why don't we do it a week later on Dec 9th? She reminded me it wasn't that much later and so ...that is what we are going to do. So as I sit here tonight and smell the pies in the oven, I am grateful that I am flexible...at least this time. I am also grateful for this beautiful time of the year that we get to celebrate and remember!

Good night dear friend

 

10 tips on learning how to change yourself for the better!

I loved this article and especially this quote ...

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

That is so true, it is important that we look inward when thinking of changing things. I love the 10 tips that Gandi gives, you can read the whole article.here:

"If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change. Not only because you are now viewing your environment through new lenses of thoughts and emotions but also because the change within can allow you to take action in ways you wouldn’t have – or maybe even have thought about – while stuck in your old thought patterns."

Gandhi's 10 Rules for Changing the World

1. Change yourself.
2. You are in control.
3. Forgive and let it go.
4. Without action you aren’t going anywhere.
5. Take care of this moment.
6. Everyone is human.
7. Persist.
8. See the good in people and help them.
9. Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self.
10. Continue to grow and evolve.

"The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems." --Mahatma Gandhi


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Change and Chaos!

I have to admit that this quote ( below ) is very true...at least in my life. If you have ever been in my home, you realize that I don't really change things  up in my home very much ( only the seasonal decorations ). Like furniture or things such as that. I know a lot of people do but once I like something, I definitely am satisfied with it staying right where it is....for some times even years. That means I am either very satisfied with what I have or...I am really lazy, I hope it's the first reason!
Today was a big change though and with that ( like the quote said ) came a lot of chaos and mess. After all these years of having our piano, we finally got arrangements made ( and with the help of many dear friends, with muscles ) we moved it to Amy and John's house. What a beast that was to get out of here, and into their house. Of course our house has a ton of stairs and so does theirs...but some how we got it there in one piece and even dry. It began to rain when Jeff and I were driving it there, and I prayed that it wouldn't get wet. That could truly damage it. The tarps held down, the rain was only a sprinkle or so, how grateful we were. As soon as we got it there, Amy sat down and played it...actually it sounded pretty good. It made my heart feel good, to hear that beautiful music come out of that piano. It has been silent too long. Now Amy can have music in their home, and hopefully the girls can take lessons some day.
In preparation for getting the piano out, we had to empty shelves, move everything off the porch and from the entry way. Move all the furniture in the living room, and so the chaos began. But later this evening, we were able to rearrange the living room and put up some things that I had been collecting and try and make it look like this is what our house was always suppose to look like this. I was able to put up an old window that I got this past years at an antique shop ( it came from a dairy farm in Anicortas ) and then some shutters and a new wreath. I will take a photos and proof to you ...I can change, every now and then. I love it, don't love the boxes of stuff still in the middle of the floor...but that chaos will have to be tackled ....another day!
We all probably did too much today, but it felt good to get that piano to a person who loves it and will play it often. It was a LONG, EXHAUSTING but GOOD DAY!
Good night dear friends!




  "MUSIC is what FEELINGS sound like"

Saying good bye again!

 

I remember when all my kids were little and I wondered how I would ever get them raised and on their own. Shoot, I was just excited when they were potty trained or could buckle their own seatbelts! :) And now here I am, crying off and on all day today. Watching them pack their bags and get all the their stuff collected from the house. How could they be leaving again? Jeff and I will be Empty Nesters again. We did this exact thing last year for 4 months, and were just getting adjusted when Lee came home sick from college. It was so great to have someone home again and now look...we are doing it again! I think that is the one for sure thing  you can say about family life...it is always changing and it always tugs on your heart. 

So I hope I will hold up better tomorrow than I did last year. I should be getting used to this huh? Just ask my kids...good byes are not a good thing for me. But I am glad Lee is  healthier and that both of them are ready to get back to school, for that we are blessed. 

The only thing that would make me feel better tomorrow is if I were having Amy and the girls coming over (but they can't because Angie's in school ). The second thing that I can could think of that would make me feel better...would be if I I go by the Quilt Shop and just touch all the beautiful fabric! :) It's a sickness.... I know! :) But I always tell Jeff there could be worse addictions! :)

And for those of you who still have your little ones at home...trust me, enjoy every minute because they will grow up too fast!

Good night dear friends

A few Bigger than Me Days in a row!

The past week has been really tough, I can' talk about it right now.
 Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you!
 Life is tough sometimes, and some times we have to go through multiple things at the same time. That is the hardest for me. But I am not giving up...just wishing things would change for the better soon!
Good night dear friends!

What a great story!

Just read this article today about Dave's Killer Bread. I laughed when I read it because a few months ago in Weight Watchers, I was trying to explain to the ladies what Dave's Killer Bread was and how he got started. I sure could have used this article to get more of the facts to tell them. I actually love the bread myself, the kids think there is too many nuts and seeds in there.
 I read the article HERE:
 
Here is his story...
In and out of jail and prison for 15 of his 49 years, Dave Dahl, a former armed robber and recovering drug addict, is a self-professed " slow learner." The creator of Dave's Killer Bread, he is also living proff that even a slow learner who seems destined for a life of crime can turn his life around.
After a solid start growing up in a family of bakers, Dahl slid into a life of alcohol, drugs, stealing, and dealing. As it turned out, he wasn't a very gifted criminal, beginning a series of in -and-out incarcerations.
It was during the last sentence that he began to see the light. " I was fortunate to suffer in prison, because I got clean, and for the first time in my life I was confident without drugs, " says Dahl, who discovered at that time that he suffered from clinical depression. He also discovered that he was smarter than he realized and a lot more interested in what life had to offer than in his next fix. He began working out and studying health and nutrition with a renewed fervor.
After his 2004 release, clean and sober, Dahl rejoined his family's baking business. His brother Glenn, owner of NatureBake ( www.naturebake.com ), the healthful-bread business started by their father in the 1950s, welcomed him back and encouraged his ideas. Within six months, Dave had designed six varieties of whole-grain, organic bread, four of which were introduced in August 2005 at the Portland Farmer's Market's " Summer Loaf " artisan bread festival to rave reviews.
At the helm of Dave's Killer Bread, Dahl now produces approximately 400,000 loaves of bread a week ( 16 varieties) with names such as " Good Seed" and "Rockin' Rye." It's sold at Costco. Dahl - who now spends a good deal of his time sharing his story of redemption with at-risk youths, business leaders, law enforcement and politicians---says he's in no hurry to grow. "We're going slow; we don't want to grow too fast," he  says.
This time, being a slwo learner has it's benefits. ~ T. Foster Jones

If we could turn back the clocks!

Read this incredible article about Regrets and Resolutions, really made me stop and think. Great lesson to remember in my life and I would imagine...everyone's life!

Here is just parts of it...enjoy!

"When we are young, it seems that we will live forever. We think there is a limitless supply of sunrises waiting just beyond the horizon, and the future looks to us like an unbroken road stretching endlessly before us.

However, the older we get, the more we tend to look back and marvel at how short that road really is. We wonder how the years could have passed so quickly. And we begin to think about the choices we made and the things we have done. In the process, we remember many sweet moments that give warmth to our souls and joy to our hearts. But we also remember the regrets—the things we wish we could go back and change.

A nurse who cares for the terminally ill says that she has often asked a simple question of her patients as they prepared to depart this life.

“Do you have any regrets?” she would ask.²

Being so close to that final day of mortality often gives clarity to thought and provides insight and perspective. So when these people were asked about their regrets, they opened their hearts. They reflected about what they would change if only they could turn back the clock.

I Wish I Had Spent More Time with the People I Love

Perhaps the most universal regret dying patients expressed was that they wished they had spent more time with the people they love.

Men in particular sang this universal lament: they “deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the [daily] treadmill of … work.”³ Many had lost out on choice memories that come from spending time with family and friends. They missed developing a deep connection with those who meant the most to them.

I Wish I Had Lived Up to My Potential

Another regret people expressed was that they failed to become the person they felt they could and should have been. When they looked back on their lives, they realized that they never lived up to their potential, that too many songs remained unsung.

I am not speaking here of climbing the ladder of success in our various professions. That ladder, no matter how lofty it may appear on this earth, barely amounts to a single step in the great eternal journey awaiting us.

Rather, I am speaking of becoming the person God, our Heavenly Father, intended us to be.

I Wish I Had Let Myself Be Happier

Another regret of those who knew they were dying may be somewhat surprising. They wished they had let themselves be happier.

So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial.

The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our happiness.

We do matter. We determine our happiness.

You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness.

Of Resolutions

One day we will take that unavoidable step and cross from this mortal sphere into the next estate. One day we will look back at our lives and wonder if we could have been better, made better decisions, or used our time more wisely.

To avoid some of the deepest regrets of life, it would be wise to make some resolutions today. Therefore, let us:

• • Resolve to spend more time with those we love.
• • Resolve to strive more earnestly to become the person God wants us to be.
• • Resolve to find happiness, regardless of our circumstances."

You can read the whole article Here:
Good night dear friends!

Traditions!

Jeff and I were discussing the other day how great traditions are for the holidays, and yet how hard it is to watch the kids get older and start their own families and their own traditions. Sometimes we wonder why things have to change, and yet that is just life. I remember Jeff and I having quite a few discussions about who’s house we were going to for Christmas, and some times we didn’t always agree. I really wanted to spend it with my family, and Jeff felt the same about his. So you try to juggle the time between both families and keep everyone happy. Then finally the kids get old enough to tell you that they don’t want to go any where for Christmas, but want to stay at their own house. Yes life, traditions and everything else changes throughout the years, and so we need to some how learn to Go With The Flow!

We have tried to start some new traditions so that it would make up for the ones that we seem to have to change, some times that works and some times it doesn’t.  One of the traditions that we had when I was a  kid , and is still a great memory for me… was our Rotating Christmas Tree! Yes, I said ROTATING, it went all the way around, with the lights and music. I remember just laying under the Christmas tree and just watching the ornaments go by with the icicles too. I remember Mom insisting to put each icicle on separately, we weren’t to just take a bunch and throw them on. It seemed like a pain at the time, but when the tree was all decorated, it did look magical.

 

Our rotating tree was the hit of the neighborhood when we lived in the city, and the talk of all our friends when we moved to the country. Dad looked as we got older for the rotating Christmas Tree Stand, but they went out of business. People couldn’t believe we had a tree stand that you could put a live tree in with water, and it had a place for the lights to plug in ( and no the cords didn’t get wrapped around the tree ) plus, it played 5-6 Christmas songs, it was magical that was for sure.

Then when our kids were all little, my Mom and Dad called one night and told us that he found the Rotating Christmas Tree Stand at Sears, and he ordered 5 of them and was having them sent to our homes. I remember the first time we put our tree in that stand, I felt like the years had melted away and I was a little girl again. This stand you had to use with an artificial tree and it didn’t play music but still… it was magical and a wonderful tradition from my family, it was one of our best presents ever!

Our rotating tree stand made us happy for quite a few years and then it broke and since then we haven’t found another on, it makes me sad each year when we put out our Christmas decorations and I realize we don’t have that any more, what a fun tradition. Oh another funny thing that happened when we received our rotating stand from my Dad was, as the kids helped me decorate the tree, I sorta stuck some of the (not so pretty ) ornaments to the back of the tree. Then when we were all finished and turned on the tree, I laughed to myself when I realized I had put all those ornaments together, and so when that side of the tree came around well….let’s just say we had to intermix them in with all the rest of the ornaments to make it look pleasing to the eye!

So as I sit here tonight, trying to figure out just what traditions we are going to keep or change this Christmas Eve, I look at the tree and remember how many wonderful traditions we have had throughout the years, things may change, but the love of our family doesn’t , nor the meaning of Christmas … that is what we need to remember.

Good night dear friends!

" The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!" -- Charles N. Barnard

"Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree." -- Charlotte Carpenter

"Whatever else be lost among the years, Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing: Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears, Let us hold close one day, remembering Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men. Let us get back our childlike faith again." -- Grace Noll Crowell

How would you like to be remembered?

It is late and I found this wonderful story that makes you think? Enjoy!

How would you like to be remembered?

About a hundred years ago, a man looked at the morning newspaper and to his surprise and horror, read his name in the obituary column. The news papers had reported the death of the wrong person by mistake. His first response was shock. Am I here or there? When he regained his composure, his second thought was to find out what people had said about him. The obituary read, "Dynamite King Dies." And also "He was the merchant of death." This man was the inventor of dynamite and when he read the words "merchant of death," he asked himself a question, "Is this how I am going to be remembered?" He got in touch with his feelings and decided that this was not the way he wanted to be remembered. From that day on, he started working toward peace. His name was Alfred Nobel and he is remembered today by the great Nobel Prize.

Just as Alfred Nobel got in touch with his feelings and redefined his values, we should step back and do the same.

What is your legacy?

How would you like to be remembered?

Will you be spoken well of?

Will you be remembered with love and respect?

Will you be missed?

"Our days are numbered. One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day. The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. What preparations should we be making now? The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day."    ~ Billy Graham

 

Staying consistent in an ever changing world.

I loved this story, because I do believe we need to remember we are living in an ever changing world. The pace is fast and the pressure is unbelievable.  I just went to this Quilt Market last week, I was talking to a young designer. I asked her what it was like to design your own fabric, and was it exciting to see your designs be printed on fabric? Her answer was "Yes, it is really exciting but I have to admit, you almost don't have a chance to admire it, because the pressure is on to hurry and design something for the next season. I thought it was going to be just a small time commitment but it is a 8 -10 hour day, every day" "There is a huge competition in this line of work, if you don't stay on top of creating something amazing and beautiful, there is someone else who will."

It reminded me that even something good, can be a test of your ability to make the right choice and to stay consistent in such a fast pace, ever changing world. I always thought that I would like to design fabric but maybe I will just have to do patterns instead. I love creating and the challenge to create something that has never been done  before but...I don't want to give up the time I spend with family and friends, and that does come first. Each day is a challenge to make the right decisions and to keep a balance in our lives. Balance...now that is a hard one!

The Painter and The Child 

     

Centuries ago a great artist was engaged to paint a mural for the cathedral in a Sicilian town. The subject was the life of Christ. For many years the artist labored diligently, and finally the painting was finished except for the two most important figures: the Christ Child and Judas Iscariot. He searched far and wide for suitable models.
One day while walking in the city he came upon some children playing in the street. Among them was a 12-year-old boy whose face stirred the painter's heart. The artist took the child home with him, and day after day the boy sat patiently until the face of the Christ Child was finished. But the painter still had found no model for the portrait of Judas.
The story of the unfinished masterpiece spread afar, and many men, fancying themselves of wicked countenance, offered to pose for Judas. But in vain the old painter looked for Judas, as he envisioned him-a man warped by life, enfeebled by surrender to greed and lust.
Then one afternoon as he sat in a tavern, a gaunt and tattered figure staggered across the threshold. 'Wine, wine,' he begged. The startled painter looked into a face that seemed to bear the marks of every sin of mankind. "Greatly excited, the old painter said, 'Come with me, and I will give you wine.'
For many days the painter worked feverishly to complete his masterpiece. As the work went on, a change came over the model. A strange tension replaced the stupor languor, and his bloodshot eyes were fixed with horror on the painted likeness of himself.
One day, perceiving his subject's agitation, the painter paused in his work. "My son," he said, "what troubles you so?"
The man buried his face in his hands, sobbing. After a long moment he lifted pleading eyes to the old painter's face. "Do you not then remember me? Years ago I was your model for the Christ Child.'"     ~Hugh B. Brown

"It is possible to be clean in a dirty world."
— Sheri L. Dew (God Wants a Powerful People)

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
- Dr Wayne Dyer

"Quite frankly, I don't think "time" is the problem.
The real problem is the number of activities or tasks that we take on.
A sign of our time is that we forget how to say "no", and take on far too many things."
Catherine Pulsifer

Heartache

    Once again I am trying to find the energy to write. It was a long day, I was up late with Lee, and today he isn't doing that much better. He went to a half day of school and then to the Doctor's office for more tests. Not sure how long those results will take? Then on Weds. they will have him do an MRI, so he will miss school that day.
    The hard part for me is the heartache, watching your child suffer and hurt, and not knowing what is wrong or not being able to help the pain stop. I may not be making a lot of sense, I am over tired, sleepy and worried. I am trying to remember to turn this all over to my Heavenly Father and ask for peace, as well as to be guided to the right Doctor, the right test and the right diagnosis. I hope we find out those things soon?  Please keep us in your prayers, we could sure use them! Thank you!

Here is a great story to remind us... that it is up to us, to be the change we want to see in the world! Enjoy! 

Last Respects 

One day not too long ago the employees of a large company in St. Louis, Missouri returned from their lunch break and were greeted with a sign on the front door. The sign said: "Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym."
At first everyone was sad to hear that one of their colleagues had died, but after a while they started getting curious about who this person might be.
The excitement grew as the employees arrived at the gym to pay their last respects. Everyone wondered: "Who is this person who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he's no longer here!"

One by one the employees got closer to the coffin and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood over the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: "There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.
You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself.
Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life.
"The most important relationship you can have, is the one you have with yourself."  ~Unknown

"In all things it is better to hope than to despair"   ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Hope never abandons you; you abandon it"   ~ George Weinberg

"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark"  ~ George Iles

What is a Saint?

Well, it's New Year's Eve, and my youngest daughter just headed back to college. This is a wonderful thing, but hard on a Mother's heart! She was so excited to get back to school, to see her family (there) and friends!  It's exactly where she needs to be but... I will miss her a lot, we all will!  She is an amazing young lady, and she loves her family, and is a big help to everyone around her. Yes, she will be missed.
I won't write more because I know I am going to either start crying, or start whining to you more, so I will spare us both. Happy New Year dear friends! I hope you enjoy this last Christmas story about Nicholas, a real saint ( which in the dictionary means...a follower of Christ). I hope we can be more like St. Nicholas every day of this new year! If we would, just think what a happier world we would live in? So, let's try and change things for the better, shall we? Good night!

This is the story of the real Santa Claus, St. Nicholas.
To this day people say that St. Nicholas, or Santa, is the special friend of children.

This is the story of the real Santa Claus, St. Nicholas.
To this day people say that St. Nicholas, or Santa, is the special friend of children.

The real Santa lived a long time ago in a place called Asia Minor. It is now the country of Turkey. His name was Nicholas.
Nicholas' parents died when he was just a teenager. His parents left him a lot of money which made him a rich young man. He went to live with his uncle who was a priest.
Nicholas heard about a man who had lost all his money. He had three daughters who were old enough to get married. But in those days young women had to have money in order to get married. This money was a "dowry" and it was used to help the new family get started. If you didn't have dowry money, you didn't get married.
This family was so poor they had nothing left to eat. The daughters were going to be sold as slaves because they couldn't live at home any longer. They were very sad. They wouldn't be able to have families of their own. And they would have to be slaves—no longer able to decide where they would live or what they would do.
The night before the oldest daughter was to be sold, she washed her stockings and put them in front of the fire to dry. Then all of them went to sleep—the father and the three daughters.
In the morning the daughter saw something lumpy in her stocking. She reached in and found a small, heavy bag. Inside was gold! Enough to provide food for the family and money for her dowry. Oh, how happy they were!
The next morning, another bag with gold was found. Imagine! Two of the daughters would now be saved. Such joy!
And the next night, the father planned to stay awake to find out who was helping his daughters. He dozed off, but heard a small "clink" as another bag landed in the room. Quickly he jumped up and ran out the door. Who did he catch ducking around the corner?
Nicholas, the young man who lived with his uncle. "Nicholas, it is you! Thank you for helping us—I hardly know what to say!" Nicholas said, "Please, do not thank me—thank God that your prayers have been answered. Do not tell others about me."
Nicholas continued helping people. He always tried to help secretly. He didn't want any attention or thanks. Years passed and he was chosen to be a bishop. Bishops look after their people as shepherds look after their sheep. And that is what Nicholas did. When there wasn't any food, he found wheat; so no one went hungry. He always helped people in trouble. All his life Nicholas showed people how to love God and care for each other.
The people loved Nicholas. After he died, they told stories of the good and kind things Nicholas had done. Sailors took these stories about Nicholas everywhere they went. Some of the stories were about his special care for children—helping and protecting them when danger threatened. And so more and more people learned about good, kind Nicholas. They wanted to be like him. He is an example of how we should live. And that is why he became a saint.

"Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy."  ~ Francis Pharcellus Church

"Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows"  ~ Edwin Osgood Grover

Food for thought!

I loved this article that I read the other day. It is about honesty and integrity, huge virtues that we shouldn't take for granted. It made me want to take a self evaluation test afterwards, to see if there are any GRAY areas in my life? There really shouldn't be. Hope you enjoy it!

One Bite At A Time
When with your friends, you often hear yourself saying stuff like, "Of course I care about my health!  I take good care of myself!" Yet alone, in the middle of temptation, you convince yourself that just one more bacon-double-cheeseburger (with fries) won't hurt. After all, it's not like you do it EVERY day!

You are diligent in telling your eleven-year-old daughter not to ever tell lies... not ever.  The phone rings...she answers.  It's ANOTHER telemarketer.  "Tell them I'm not here!" you silently mouth from the other room.
"It's only twenty minutes!" you convincingly encourage yourself as you round your time sheet up to the next even hour.  After all,  why do they make you fill these silly things out, anyway?

Ever find yourself in a similar scenario?  You know... where your actions and your words don't exactly jive?  Where you tell yourself, your family, your friends or your boss one thing, but inside you know something different?  Ever?

Have you ever heard the term "congruence?"  It's been a big deal in management training circles for some time now.  Indeed, it is a very important idea.  Defined by Webster, it means, "an exact coinciding."  To use a (very) worn out phrase, it means, "walking your talk".  My definition?  Do what you say... say what you do.

Out of the gray...

There's no gray here.  It's actually quite a simple concept. And you know what?  Such virtue paves the difference between excellence and something much less in every one of your relationships.  With your employer, customers, co-workers, friends, children, significant other, and even... with yourself. Such uprightness creates the quantity of respect you're given, and in reality, the quantity of respect you deserve.
On a very personal level, it's called... integrity.
You've most likely heard the phrase, "Your actions are shouting so loudly, I can't hear a word you're saying!"  You can probably think of someone to whom this phrase fits... perfectly.  But, have you ever considered how it might apply to you?  Sure, most of us are pretty honest when it comes to the big stuff.  We don't steal.  We don't blatantly lie.  We don't cheat our friends. But what about those "little" things?  It's been said that the way to eat an elephant is... one bite at a time!
Have you ever stopped to ponder how those small "untruths," or "oversights," or lack of follow-through, or "do as I say, not as I do," pieces of your life might be eating away at you?  Such  "chinks" in your existence - over time - wear you down.  The 'one bite at a time' concept is fundamental.  Consider the slow rusting away of metal, mountains carried over time by rivers to the sea, or erosion of the once sandy shore with each crash of ocean wave. So too, are you diminished each time you engage in any  lack of integrity - however slight.  You lose the respect of others.  You  lose respect for yourself.
Think about it.  The erosion is easy to stop.  All you need do is be honest... really honest.  Immerse yourself in integrity - total, one-hundred-percent-no-holds-barred integrity.  Stand tall.  Do what you say... say what you do.  It's simple.  It's powerful.  Those near to you will love you for it.  The rest will respect you for it. And you?  You will have a much higher opinion of... you.

http://soulnpeace.com/one-bite-at-a-time.html

"Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching"

"Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom"  ~ Thomas Jefferson

 

Change, Choice and Principles

I have studied for years, ways to control my thoughts. I have known for quite some time that, how you see life could be a great help or a great hindrance to you! Thoughts are so powerful. Do we even realize how powerful they are and if they are helping or hurting our life? I have watched many dear family and friends, face terrible and challenging things in their lives and yet...they still seem to be ok! How does that work?
Then you know others who have had some bad things  happen to them and yet to talk to them...it is just the end of the world. What's the difference? I think their thoughts are a big part of that. Understanding that things will happen, change will come, helps you be better prepared for it. Understanding that we always have a choice, I have heard people ( like myself at times) say " I just don't have a choice" , we always have a choice! Then the principles, that are the very foundation of what we believe or we don't believe... make a huge difference too! Yes, I want to be known as one of THOSE PEOPLE, who face the changes and challenges of life head on, who studies out all the options and makes the wisest choice, and the person that has some great principles to stand on, when all seems lost!
With that tall order, I just placed for myself...I realize that it takes a daily effort to control my thoughts. I can choose to have a good day or bad day. I can choose to be happy or sad....yes...it is up to me! I challenge all of us to put more effort in checking the quality of our thoughts on a daily basis, it could make all the difference!

Thought

Thought is a vital, living force, the most vital, subtle and irresistible force that exists in the universe.
Thought is a dynamic force.
Thought moves.
Thought is infectious.
Thought creates.
You can work wonders with the power of thought.
Through the instrumentality of thought, you acquire creative power. There are nowadays numerous books on thought-power.

Every thought has a literal value to you in every possible way. The strength of your body, the strength of your mind, your success in life and the pleasures you give to others by your company - all depend on the nature and quality of your thoughts

James Allen , the famous philosopher and writer , wrote a book called “As The Man Think “ This book later on became the foundation for Para psychology in the west .
Dr Stephen Covey is another well-known writer, who in his book called “Seven Habits Of effective People” has also argued on the power and importance of thought level.

I love these quotes by Steven R.Covey...

  “The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” 

  “There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.” 

  “The way we see the problem is the problem”

Life isn't fair

I loved this article, that I read about life not being fair. There have been times I have felt like that and just like this article mentions, it isn't a good place to stay mentally. Here is a watered down version of her thoughts and tips on things that helped her, during this tough time. I have included the web site of hers, where you can read more if you like!

I remember so clearly sitting next to my dad as we drove through town. I was discussing some injustice I had suffered and he looked directly at me and said, “no one ever said life was fair.” I was completely devastated. Later on as my marriage crumbled in spite of my ongoing efforts to hold it together, I could still hear those words echo in my heart. Now as I raise two kids alone, attempt to create new  relationships and build a business, I am forced every day to face this inevitable truth. I decided to stop running from the obvious and to accept my dad’s wisdom, albeit with the help of a few sound strategies I’ve learned along the way.

We will all face loss, unexpected change and feeling like the rug has been pulled out from beneath us. Some of us are recovering from harsh realities that will take time to heal. I wanted to share what worked for me. Here are my top ten ways to get over the “it’s not fair syndrome."

Anne Mattos-Leedom is the publisher of www.parentingbookmark.com , a national parenting website for raising caring kids. Anne is also the Founder of www.netconnectpublicity.com, a premier online placement agency for experts and authors. She lives in Northern California with her two teenage daughters.

"Life may not always seem fair, but we can learn to roll with the punches and make new choices along the way."

1.Stop Comparing

We choose for ourselves what seems fair by comparing our lives and circumstances to those of others around us.

2.Take Charge of Your Beliefs

We are often conditioned from a young age to expect certain things in life as we grow up. However, as an adult we need to let go of beliefs and expectations that are not working for us.

3.Grieve and Move on

It is only in coming to terms with our grief and realizing that everyone suffers at one time or another that we can move on.

4.Relinquish Resentment and Set New Goals

However, holding on to that frustration can keep you from moving forward. If whatever you are working on is not working, take a step back, re-assess and set a new goal that has a better chance of success. Use other people’s success as motivation and model to do better yourself. It doesn’t matter if it should have worked. If it isn't working, move on.

5.Redefine the Concept of Fair

Often we look to a divine power to be completely and totally responsible for our lives. We say, it isn’t fair that I didn’t get that job or my marriage didn’t work out, etc. because of how we believe that the universe and/or God should care for us blindly. Our lives are a team effort with the divine. Our part is to do the best we can and then to see past the moment into the bigger picture and knowing that ultimately what happens if part of that plan. Often things are much fairer then we realize at the time. That is where faith comes in.

6.Give Up on Control

Develop a healthy balance between giving things your best effort and then understanding ultimately it is out of your control. Put your efforts into the process but learn to let go of the need to control the outcome.

7.Build a ‘Fairness Support Circle'

When you share your pain and circumstances with others and realize you are not alone, you can turn the sense of “it isn’t fair” into compassion and eventually, action to let go.

8.Reflect on the Truth

Take a hard look at your circumstances that seem so unfair and ask yourself the hard questions about what you did do or not do that might have increased the chances of this happening to you.

9.Get Help When Needed

Getting professional help at this point may be the only way you can look at the real issues that may be plaguing you and to get the tools you need to move forward past your current pain into a place of hope and possibility once again.

10.Accept that Life isn’t Fair

We will see others succeed that don’t seem to deserve it. It is only in truly accepting that we don’t know the whole picture—or why things happen as they do--that we can move on. It is not for any of us to say why things happen as they do. Life may not be fair, but you can be fair—and be the best human being you can be.

 

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone."  ~ Reba McEntire

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts."   ~ Charles Dickens

What steals our time?

It seems like if I am not careful, I spend my time doing things that are not necessarily important. I heard a quote the other day that went like this...

"A WISE MAN ONCE DISTINGUISHED BETWEEN 'THE NOBLE ART OF GETTING THINGS DONE' AND 'A NOBLER ART OF LEAVING THINSG UNDONE.' TRUE 'WISDOM IN LIFE,' HE TAUGHT, CONSISTS OF 'THE ELIMINATION OF NON-ESSENTIALS.'  ~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

So it is a daily question that I have to ask my self " What non-essentials steal my time? Am I truly doing what matters most?  As Mother's Day quickly approaches I ask myself this question a lot. Am I really focusing on being the type of Mom and Nana that I want to be? That my kids and grand-kids need me to be?  I also have to ask myself this question a lot... 'In the grand scheme of things, will what I am doing right now even matter?' 

For now I am trying to enjoy this different season my family is going through, and that I am going through as a Mom. This ALMOST EMPTY NESTERS thing is still very new to me, and I am trying to understand it and learn how to live with it, but it isn't easy. I pray that this week that we will take inventory of our life and what non-essentials are stealing our TIME. Once we figure that out, may we then have the courage and the strength to change it. The essentials in life, many times are the small and simple things!  Good night dear friends.

 

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."
-- Washington Irving

"A mother understands what a child does not say."  ~ Jewish proverb

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."  ~ P. J. O'Rourke

Winds of change

I have met so many people in my life that found their true direction, after going through a serious trial or challenge. Why do you think that is? I only know from my own opinion, but I believe it is because you have now changed through this hard and trying time, you have become different. Your priorities change, what used to be necessary or so important in your life, might not matter at all now. And then something that seemed so small and insignificant ...now is vital in your life. That is what cancer did for me. Oh, I am not glad that I had it (twice), it is nothing I would wish on my worst enemy (which I don't have), but what I learned through it all, has been invaluable. I am a changed person, I am a better person, I am a happier and much more content person. I am grateful that I lived to tell about it and hopefully that by telling my story it will give support, hope and encouragement to others. I am passionate about seeing that every person who has to face cancer, knows there is hope and peace out there. Fear is a terrible thing. Thanks for reading my blog, I pray that it helps at least someone out there. Good night dear friends and remember ..."ONLY WHEN WE ARE NO LONGER AFRAID DO WE BEGIN TO LIVE!" ~ Dorothy Thompson

 

"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true directions."

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive.  And then go and do that.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."  ~Attributed to Howard Thurman

"Renew your passions daily."  ~Terri Guillemets

Change...it is harder than it looks.

Sometimes I have felt to change something in my life was a huge deal. I think it is because I don't break it down. Sometimes the changes that I feel I need or want aren't even realistic or necessary. No matter what the circumstances are, the truth is ...change is much harder than it looks. When I found this poem, it reminded me to just take it one little piece at a time. It also reminded me how important the little things truly are. So if any of you struggle like I do in this area, I hope this poem will help you out as much as it did me. One small change at a time!

Change Your World

You cannot change the world,
But you can present the world with one improved person -
Yourself.
You can go to work on yourself to make yourself
Into the kind of person you admire and respect.
You can become a role model and set a standard for others.
You can control and discipline yourself to resist acting
Or speaking in a negative way
Toward anyone for any reason.
You can insist upon always doing things the loving way,
Rather than the hurtful way.
By doing these things each day,
You can continue on your journey
Toward becoming an exceptional human being. ~ Brian Tracy 

 

"SOMETIMES IT'S THE SMALLEST DECISIONS THAT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER"   ~ Keri Russell

 

"WHAT YOU LEAVE BEHIND IS NOT WHAT IS ENGRAVED IN STONE MONUMENTS, BUT WHAT IS WOVEN INTO THE LIVES OF OTHERS."  ~  Pericles quotes