I have been continually amazed at all the cards and calls that have been coming in lately. I can't adequately put into words what that has meant to me. It has given me strength and courage to not give up. I read this sweet story today...
I WAS TAKING MY USUAL MORNING WALK WHEN A GARBAGE TRUCK PULLED UP BESIDE ME. I THOUGHT THE DRIVER WAS GOING TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS. INSTEAD, HE SHOWED ME A PICTURE OF A CUTE LITTLE FIVE-YEAR-OLD BOY. "THIS IS MY GRANDSON, JEREMIAH," HE SAID. "HE'S ON A LIFE-SUPPORT SYSTEM AT A PHOENIX HOSPITAL." THINKING HE WOULD NEXT ASK FOR A CONTRIBUTION TO HIS HOSPITAL BILLS, I REACHED FOR MY WALLET. BUT HE WANTED SOMETHING MORE THAN MONEY. HE SAID, "I'M ASKING EVERYBODY I CAN TO SAY A PRAYER FOR HIM. WOULD YOU SAY ONE FOR HIM,PLEASE?" I DID. AND MY PROBLEMS DIDN'T SEEM LIKE MUCH THAT DAY. --------------------Bob Westenberg
I love this story because it reminds me what power we have on others, for good and bad. Every day whatever we do or don't do, effects others. Many of you have kept my family and I in your prayers and thoughts and we really have felt it! I know everyone's lives are busy but you still took the time to think of us and we are very grateful for that. I will try to do the same for others because when I do ...my problems don't seem quite as big.
Today my sister-in-law Shirley left and I wasn't sure what I was going to do without her. I had become so dependent on her, probably shouldn't have but I did. Everything seemed so much more tolerable with her around, she even came in to some of the pre-op procedures that I had and even though they were hard to watch she stayed right by my side and kept me smiling. She never told me what I should or shouldn't be feeling, but just supported me through it all. She actually ask me to look at my incision today before she left,she knew that I was struggling with that. I realized that she just wanted to make sure that I was completely taken care of before she headed for home, this was the one last thing that I needed to do and she didn't want me to do it alone.
So I did, I looked for the first since my surgery, wow... I was so surprised at how many areas were affected by this, like my arm pit and even my collar bone. I didn't cry today so I thought that was progress, but to me it looked gross and that will be an adjustment for my mind to work on. Shirley sweetly reminded me of how beautiful she thought I still was and that she was just glad that I am still here with her. She is a sweetheart ! I know many of you have been worried about me, worried that I am not taking calls or seeing people yet. I am just tired, I am hurting and I am sorta grieving I guess, for part of me that I won't ever get back. I made this decision but I never dreamed that I would be feeling like this. I really hope that I live long enough to help others who have this surgery. I hope that in the future there will be more one on one contact with these women who are having mastectomies. I know there are so many women having this done everyday but each woman is still a real person. This procedure might be considered very common but it's very scary and life changing to that ONE WOMAN. I still say that I got more information and trouble shooting suggestions when I bought my sewing machine. This is a huge surgery, maybe not major... but big. My life will go on but not quite the same and that is what I have to work through. I have been asked if I am considering reconstruction, the answer at this point in my life is no, I don't want any more surgeries or anything else being done to my body.
So once again, thanks for your positive thoughts, wishes and prayers in my behalf. I will beat this cancer once again and hopefully be even more willing to help others do the same.