Judging Others!

This story by Jason Wright is so true, I need to remember it more often. Everyone has a Story!
Went to Port Townsend all day with our family...what a beautiful place we live in!
Good Night dear friends.
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There was just something about her.

The woman behind the Handy Mart counter had worried eyes and a tired smile. I suspected the reason her smile was exhausted had nothing to do with using it all the time. It was just tired of lying.

It was 6:40 a.m. in the quiet convenience store and I’d planned to buy a newspaper and enjoy a donut and juice before heading to my office. And, because I’m a serial talker, I’d hoped to chat with whoever might be working or simply passing through the combination gas station and Dunkin Donuts.

I paid for my breakfast and decided to try to pry a smile with a joke that was outrageously funny in my head, but in the real world? Not so much. The clerk, Cheri Romick, grinned anyway, wished me a good day and returned to her routine.

I went back a couple times a week for several months and was met with the same polite but disconnected smiles and the obligatory, “Thank you,” and, “Come again.” No matter the hour and whether I was alone or with my crazy kids, her mood never seemed to change.

One morning, after a long trial and after examining the evidence, I appointed myself judge and issued a verdict. “She’s just not very friendly,” I decided. “Plus, she’s grumpy and definitely not a morning person. Oh, and she probably hates her job, too.”

And so, with judgment in hand, I moved on.

Though I’d given up on Romick, by then I’d become friends with the other employees and continued visiting the store. The others were kind, engaging and funny, and despite the occasional presence of their perpetually miserable coworker, I enjoyed stopping by.

Then one morning as I filled a fountain drink, the manager came over to say hello and to wipe down a nearby counter. I sidled up next to her and, noticing that Romick apparently had the day off, finally addressed my curiosity. “So, tell me about Cheri? She sure doesn’t seem very happy. What’s her deal? She’s never been very friendly.”

The manager lowered her eyes and put her hand on my arm. “You don’t know?”

“I guess not,” I thought, and the lump in my throat quickly became a pit in my stomach.

“She’s had a really hard year,” she said softly. “Both her parents just died. She was living with and caring for them. She lived with them her whole life.”

My breakfast didn’t taste very good that morning.

A few days later, I returned and spent a little more time than usual at the counter. I asked some casual questions and for the first time ever, I saw her.

I really saw her.

The once grumpy, grouchy and unfriendly clerk was gone. In her place stood a daughter of God who’d been tested and challenged in ways she’d never imagined.

Cheri Lynn Romick and her parents moved into the house she still calls home more than 30 years ago. She never married, did not have children and made caring for her parents her top priority. They had a lawn and garden business that kept them side-by-side and as tight as family can be. When her mother, Lucy Romick, began struggling with health problems in 2010, they closed the business and turned their attention even more to what matters most.

On Saturday, Jan. 29, 2011, her mother fell and fractured her pelvis. Three days later, Cheri and her father put Lucy to bed. When they checked on her the next morning, she was gone.

I asked Cheri, now a good friend and one of the kindest people I know, what she remembers about that moment. “To this day I can see my daddy standing in their bedroom asking me, ‘What are we gonna do without her?’ ”

Yes, while I was worrying about why she didn’t think my jokes were funny, she was worrying about life without her mother.

Five months later, her father, Harry, had a stroke and was transported by medical helicopter for emergency surgery. He never saw his home again; he died in November.

In nine months, the woman I judged as unfriendly, grumpy and grouchy buried the two people she loved most in this world and was left alone in the house that raised her.

Today, Romick savors every moment. “Jason, I’ve learned that life is too short to worry about stupid things. You just never know when your last day will come.”

I love my trips to the local Handy Mart more than ever. No, it’s not the only convenience store in town, but it’s the one where I am reminded that the person behind the counter, or on the street, or on the other end of the phone doesn’t need to be analyzed or judged. They need to be seen.

Why?

Because there’s just something about them.

Found the story Here:

Note to self..." I am ENOUGH! "

   I have always found it interesting that we usually judge others by just what we see and thinking we know the whole picture. The pressure to look, feel, have or be like someone else is huge in today's society. We are measuring ourselves against things that are not real some of the time and the other half, we admire or want to have or be like others...never really know what life is like behind closed doors.
When I was in Junior High, in the summer we would go to our pool that was in the town. I didn't know how to swim but really there was so many people in there,  you couldn't really swim anyway... so I didn't really worry. But one day all my friends dared me to go over into the deep end, they even went under the rope and then stood up and said " Lynn, it is just the same on this side. See we are standing up, it is ok, so come on over!" So being the insecure teenager that I was...I took the dare.
    As I was standing there and talking to a friend and quiet proud to be in the DEEP END, someone accidently pushed me and I slipped down the incline of the deep end. As I frantically tried to get back up, there was just a sea of legs and no one seemed to even notice me. How true is that in life also...friends try to get us to do things ( that we know we shouldn't ) and then when we do and fail, they never seem to be around to pick you up or support you. I now can almost hear my Grandmother say "Lynn, friends like that...aren't friends at all! " So true Grandma.
   I don't know how long I was under the water, but long enough to drink half of the pool and be scared to death of deep water for the next 30 years or so.
   What made me think of this is today, someone at church made a comment about our family and how they wonder if they could even measure up to us or something along that line. I smiled but wanted to say..."You really wouldn't feel that way if you really knew us. We are just as normal as the next family. We struggle, we argue at times, we make mistakes, we get disappointed in each other but...we just keep trying, we keep saying we are sorry, we keep trying again to do what is right, we try hard to be there for each other. We try again to get back to doing what we know we should be doing. The bottom line is, I don't want people to think the Woodards are better than anyone else.
   I have always said that I wish we could all wear a wipe off board on our backs...and on that wipe off board would be everything that has happened to us for the past week. I just think we would be less hard on ourselves if we really saw that each person is fighting their own battle. I think I would even treat them better or at least be more understanding IF we knew that this week, they were diagnosed with Cancer, lost a dear friend, or their husband lost his job. Or if their teenager was giving them a run for their money, or a friend of many years got offended and won't speak to them. Whatever the scenario is..I think we would be less critical of ourselves and more compassionate to others. There have been many times that we have gone through something as a family, the only reason I didn't share it may be because I didn't want to be judged or even worse...I thought I was the only Mother who had ever had to deal with this! That simply isn't true. Life is hard, really hard but...oh so worth it.
   As I am getting older, I don't take Dares any more ( my Grandmother would be glad of that ) but I want to try and and not compare myself as much, and just try to be the best LYNN WOODARD that I can be. And remember that is enough!
   Word of Wisdom for me especially.
   Good night dear friends!
 

“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it fearlessly.”
― Steve Maraboli

 " There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."  ~ Jose N. Harris

People Watching!

   Today I got to work at the Quilt Shop for the Shop Hop. I have to admit, I was so excited to go into work! I could hardly wait to get there, and had a hard time leaving when I was suppose to. I love to watch and meet people! I love PEOPLE! There is always an interesting story in their life that is playing out in their attitudes, personalities, clothing and so on. I have to admit that most people are as nice as you are to them. I was the one of the ladies who stamped their passport ( that is all Quilt/Shop Hop lingo, in case you are wondering) and gave them their free block. It was fun to have them ask about the block, and to be able to say it was mine. Then I was able to tell them step by step how I made it. They really seemed to like my block, I am so glad. When I first thought about doing a block to see if might be chosen... I was a nervous wreak. So many of the women there are amazing seamstresses and they have been quilting for years, my stuff seems so elementary compared to them. But I have learned that everyone has different talents and styles. And basically we all enjoy and appreciate each others styles and talents.

   It has been a blessing to be able to not only watch, but meet so many incredible women and even some of their families. It was also great to talk to many of them and hear about their struggles in their own life. The truth is...everyone is going through something. And those experiences and struggles are truly what shape our lives, and make us who we are. I have learned to try and not judge so quickly, because if you haven't walked in their shoes, lived their life...then we really don't know exactly what they have been through!
    Yes, it was a good day!  I can hardly wait to go tomorrow...except I a so tired! Oh well, I will head to bed soon. Good night dear friends!

"Our greatest strength as a human race is our ability to acknowledge our differences, our greatest weakness is our failure to embrace them."  ~ Judith Henderson

"Opposition is nothing more than truth; though hard that truth maybe be, it is essentially beneficial to one's self. In life your greatest enemies are in reality your greatest benefactors. Learn from them; opposition only makes you stronger and more capable."

"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."                    ~ Paulo Coelho

"I know there is strength in the differences between us. I know there is comfort where we overlap."  ~Ani Difranco

Things aren't always as they seem!

We don't watch TV that often anymore. I know that seems weird in today's society, but the truth is...we like it this way. It doesn't mean it never comes on, there are exceptions to the rules, like on Saturday if Jeff and Lee want to watch a Football, Basketball or Baseball game, but that is about it.
  One of the reason that we turned off our TV was because of all the negativity it had on it. Another big factor that lead to that decision was...the amount of filth that was coming into our home through the TV. I saw a commercial a few years ago where it made a piece of gum act like a person,and then do a strip tease with the jingle of the commercial. I was thinking "wow, what a sad world we live in, where everything ( almost everything ) is sexual or made to at least look that way.
   I am very big on protecting my home, this should be one place we feel safe and happy. By turning off the TV, we are keeping a lot of that junk out of our home, and that feels good. It really has made a difference. I am sure by now you are wondering what this has to do with my Christmas story? Well, it is a funny story tonight but it is so true. We tend judge things a certain way, when in the end... they are really not like that at all. Much like the news, it seems like all it is reporting is murders, theft, infidelity or drugs. Yet, I know that isn't true, but because we hear it day in and day out, we begin to believe it. There are a lot of wonderful stories out there, a lot of wonderful people out there making real contributions in the world, but we just don't hear about them that often. Wonder why kindness doesn't sell? It really should.
   Anyway, enjoy this cute story and remember...things aren't always as they seem!

How They Forecast a Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders if the winter of 2009/10 was going to be cold or mild.  The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter.  However, the chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Gaylord Michigan.

'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer told the chief.  Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.

'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and asked about the coming winter. 'Yes,' he was told, 'it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'

'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.

The weatherman replied: 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'

http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/christmas/christmas_stories_funny.htm

A little can be a lot!

I have always loved the story in the Bible about the Widow's mite, and how it was acceptable. Especially because it was all she had and it came from the heart. I loved this Christmas story because of that same reason. How often there are people out there suffering and we have know idea, that they were. We all need to be a little more in-tuned with those around us, be their friends, so that we would know if there is something that they needed in their life. The world is so busy at this time of year, so often the advertisements are pushing the idea of WHAT WE WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, instead of WHAT WE HAVE TO GIVE THIS CHRISTMAS.

Yes, this story was a great example to me, of how I need to be. Remembering, it only takes a little to be a lot for someone else! Good night dear friends!  

   The Student's Mite

  The situation seemed hopeless.

  From the first day he entered my seventh-grade class-room, Willard P. Franklin had existed in his own world, shutting out his classmates and me, his teacher. My attempts at establishing a friendly relationship were met with complete indifference. Even a "Good morning, Willard" received only a grunt. His classmates fared no better. Willard was strictly  a loner, finding no desire or need to lower the barrier of silence he had erected. His clothes were clean--but definitely not on the cutting edge of style. He could have been a trendsetter because his outfits possessed a "hand-me-down" look before such a look was in.

  Shortly after the Thanksgiving holidays, we received an announcement regarding the annual Christmas collection.

  "Christmas is a season of giving," I told my students."There are a few students in the school who might not have a happy holiday season. By contributing to our Christmas collection, you will help to buy food, clothing and toys for these needy people.  You may bring your money tomorrow."

  When I called for the contributions the next day, I discovered every one had forgotten --everyone except Willard P. Franklin. The boy dug deep into his pants pocket as he strolled up to my desk. Carefully he dropped a nickel into the small container.

  "I don't need no milk for lunch," he mumbled. For a moment, just a moment, he smiled. I watched him turn and walk back to his desk.

  That night, after school, I took our meager contribution-one lone nickel-to the school principal. I couldn't help telling him the giver's identity and sharing with him the incident.

  "I may be wrong, but I believe Willard may be ready to become part of the world around him," I told the principal.

  "Yes, I believe it sounds hopeful," he nodded. "And I have a hunch we might profit from him letting us share a bit of his world. I just received a list of the poor families of our school who most need help through the Christmas collection. Here, look at it."

  And as I gazed down to read, I discovered Willard P. Franklin and his family were the top names on the list.         ~ David R. Collins

It is the personal thoughtfulness, the warm human awareness, the reaching out of the self to one's fellow man that makes giving worthy of the Christmas spirit."       ~ Isabel Currier.

Why does the grass ALWAYS look greener on the other side?

My grandmother always had a saying about everything, some of them you had probably heard in your life... and others that I am sure she just made up! :) But one that she would always say is "the grass is always greener on the other side". I had heard that one before and I have learned throughout my life that this one really seems to be true, I think everyone feels that way sometime in their life. Why is that? 
(Confession... this is a photo of my yard, Lauren had to do a close up on the grass because most of it is weeds and dandelions so...I needed for this post to at least see SOME grass!  And of course photo shop, helped it look a bit greener.) Ok, back to my point!
It does seem like when we look through or over the fence that ( or on the outside of people's lives ) that things really do look greener (or better).  Why is that?

We know that they have dandelions too, but somehow we only notice how much greener their grass looks than ours ( or how much bigger or better their house is than ours). Is it, that we spend so much time looking at their grass (or LIFE), that we forget to take care of our own? Is it really greener, (or better), or do we have a limited point of view?
For myself, I know that it is how much time I spend focusing on how much more others have, instead of being grateful for what I have. I have to remember too, the old saying "What you see, isn't always what you get!". I think that is a saying, or maybe I just made that one up, but it is true.
How many times have we judged someone of ...having it all, only to look again or closer, and see all the problems they struggle with. Some people are just really good at putting on their Sunday face or Game face, we might NOT always see what is REALLY going on in their lives.
So let's maybe take, less time looking and focusing on the other side, and more time focusing on what we have and taking care of what we have!
Yes, some day I hope that I can show you a beautiful photo of a lush and green landscape in my back yard, that of course would have to be in the future, because it would take a lot more money that we have right now plus a better and stronger back...but I can hope! The good news is...if you were my neighbor, then you would not be coveting my greener yard, but probably feel instantly better about yours! :) See isn't that a positive way to look at life and my yard? :)

" We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path"  ~ Paulo Coelho

"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."  ~ The Old Farmer's Almanac

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."  ~Wayne Dyer

Looking out our own windows

I was grateful for my sister-in-law sending me this cute poem, which had a profound meaning.

WINDOW THROUGH WHICH WE LOOK

A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.
The next morning while they were eating breakfast,The young woman saw her neighbor hanging the wash outside.
"That laundry is not very clean", she said.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly.
Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.
Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry,
The young woman would make the same comments.
About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a
Nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly.
I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and
Cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others
Depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

I really loved this! A great reminder for us all! Good night!

 

"JUDGEMENTS PREVENT US FROM SEEING THE GOOD THAT LIES BEYOND APPEARANCES" ~ Wayne Dyer

"EVERYTHING THAT IRRITATES US ABOUT OTHERS CAN LEAD US TO AN UNDERSTANDING OF OURSELVES"                     ~ Carl Gustay Jung

Firsts

I have always been interested how people react to things that happen to them for the very first time. I also try to remember when I see someone that is going through something for the first time, not to judge them so quickly. For those of us that are older and now are seasoned in many areas, we now are experiencing our seconds, thirds and fourths of certain situations.

Some firsts that happened to me ....

Being a mom for the first time... my experienced is explained well in this poem.

Getting diagnosed with a cancer for the first time... being overcome with fear and taking awhile before I felt comforted.

Being a grandma for the first time...showing photos to total strangers of my granddaughter.

Having my first teenager...enjoying having a new friend and yet never understanding why I had to repeat myself sooooooo many times?

Having my first child leave home...and me bawling like a baby.

Losing my mom...wondering how to go on with my life without a mother.

Having an empty house more often than not...and wondering how I am going to handle the loneliness?

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Just for laughs: The Evolution of Parenthood

March 23, 2010 by Juggling Motherhood

Your Clothes -

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth -

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

Pacifier -

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering -

1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Worries -

1st baby: At the first sign of distress – a whimper, a frown – you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Going Out -

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

Yes, when we experience something for the first time, it is important for us to be patient with ourselves or someone else, who is experiencing one of their firsts!

 

"NOTHING IS A WASTE OF TIME IF YOU USE THE EXPERIENCE WISELY"  ~ Auguste Rodin

"EXPERIENCE IS SOMETHING YOU GET TOO LATE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE MISTAKES YOU MADE WHILE GETTING IT"  ~ Unknown