Finally!

A week ago today I went to my check up. This one is an MRI with a IV which has a contrast that runs through you body to check for cancer. I haven't done one for a couple of years, it is a tough test to do, so I have tried all month to get the courage up to finally go and get it done.

It actually went better than I thought and they have improved things since the last time, so it didn't last as long so I was grateful for that. One of my dear friend went with me and when I left ...they told me that I would have my results in 24 - 48 hours.

 I waited for Weds and Thursday to hear results but nothing. By Friday I called my Doctor's office to see if they had any news and they didn't. I prayed that I could enjoy the weekend and not worry about it. I reminded myself over and over again that I know that my Heavenly Father is in charge and to continue to rely on my faith in Him. Plus, if all else fails I tried to remember what my Grandma to say..." No news, is usually Good News".

Last night Jeff brought in the mail and handed me a letter from BMI where I had the MRI done. Here what it said...

Dear Lynn Woodard, 

Thank you for selecting us for your breast imaging study. We are pleased to tell you that your breast imaging study is normal/benign ( not cancer ).

I have had cancer twice in my life in my life and since those diagnosis, I have always had calls with my reports... not letters. So I guess this is a first and a good first one to say that.

For those of you who prayed for me, thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Knowing I have friends and family who love and support me, means the world to me.

Good Night dear friends!

Life

How grateful I am ...to know this Quote is true!


Good night dear friends!

Waiting! Wondering! and Wishing!

 Waiting!  ( 9:00 a.m.)
Today I went with Lee to get a brain MRI. We have already seen 2 other Doctors ( Specialists ) since he has been home in the last 5 days. Still have no answers ...only suggestions for medications or injections that we could give him...not knowing if what is exactly wrong with him, we decided to hold until we feel right about something. One thing that we kept feeling like we needed to do was to have an MRI on his brain. So that is why we went ahead and scheduled that for today. As I sat there in the waiting room, I silently prayed for two very different things...one that we would find something that would help us figure out what the cause is for these attacks, that he has been having for over 3 years. Then in the very same prayer, I prayed that nothing would be terribly wrong with him...hoping it would be something that we could fix, and not some life long disease or problem. Then I realized that the prayer I had to say next was... to bless him and us, to be able to handle whatever the results are, and that we would know the next direction to go. I also prayed  that Lee would be able to feel some peace if we do get bad news. So I am still waiting, they told us that the DR should be reading the MRI and getting the results to us by 4:00 pm today. 
Need to stay busy and yet continue to pray that as his MOM, I will know what to say and do. I love this boy, it hurts me to see him go through all these tests with no answers. I want so bad to help him in some way and I know I can't. But I can be a strength to him and one who continues to remind him where to get his hope and faith from. My heart still hurts...I need to pray harder!
Wondering! ( 3:45 p.m. )
The nurse called and told us that she had the results back. I know from previous experience IF the nurse can tell you the information ...then it is good news or no news.  If she tells you that your results are in and to hold so she can put the Doctor on the line... then things are bad. She didn't say wait for the Doctor and then proceeded to tell us that everything on the MRI done on his brain looked good and nothing abnormal. I was relieved because there were a few big things that they were looking for, and they weren't there. Still I am worried how Lee is going to take it, when yet another test didn't make us any closer to getting an answer.
Wishing! ( 10:45 p.m. ) Now all I can do is wish and pray that we will get an impression or some thing to let us know what avenue to take next. Until then, I am going to count this as a blessing, his brain looks good...that is no small thing!
Need to go to bed and relax, kind of a stressful day!
Good night dear friends!  

 

 “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.”  ~Abraham Lincoln

 “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind.”  ~Howard W. Hunter

Courage!

Today started off  hard, because my thoughts and all the WHAT IFS were keeping me busy while I was trying so hard not to worry. I had many dear friends who offered to go with me ( since Jeff is out of town ). The dear friend that took me was just so sweet and comforting, and of course I had phone calls and text from my kids and friends telling me to not worry... and that they would keep me in their prayers. Jeff had left a sweet note on the table before he left this morning for the airport and it said " Lynn, be courageous for your test.", as soon as I read it, it made me cry. Because I know that is exactly what I need to be ...full of courage and faith." Sometimes though, the fear does get the best of me. Then right before I left for my appointment, I found a sticky note that I had tucked away some where ...it was from my Mom and probably written over 20 years ago and it said  "....think what a special spirit you are and keep your chin up! " I remember her sending that in a package she sent me years ago, no doubt I was going through a trial then too. Anyway, I feel so grateful and blessed, I feel like I had a lot of support and help today.
 There was one lady there today, who had been there for 4 hours, and was still having more tests done.... I remembered those days, so I prayed for this lady ( didn't know her name ) but she talked a lot about her granddaughter and what she wanted to do with her for her birthday. I pray that she gets to do that with her, and that she will have the courage, if she has to face Cancer and hopefully many friends and family like me... who truly hold her up through it ...the whole way! Good night dear friends.

My thoughts today!

Here is what has been running through my head today! Thanks for listening to me!
Good night dear friends!

Life's lessons

Today was a great day. I was able to teach my class and it was standing room only. We had a good time, and I am always grateful that the ladies are so forgiving of my mistakes that I make. It is almost a common thing for me to make a few mistakes each project...then the fun part is trying to create something from that mistake, even if it is only a good reminder to them...of what not to do! :)  Sometimes I actually have fun trying to create something from those mistakes ...just so I don't have to waste the material. But we have fun and that is really what matters!

Tonight when I got home and started checking my email, I received a sad letter from a dear friend. She said that she and her family had lost their home 2 weeks ago, from a fire. Even through all of this, she was still counting her blessings...like that her family was all safe. What an incredible lady she is. I have always wondered what you would do if you lost everything, how do you handle a trial like that? Then I realized from this friend, that you remind yourself of the blessings that you still have...your family and your health.
I do know that life will be hard, I can't even comprehend what she and her sweet family are going through, but I do know that I can pray for them. And that is what I will do. Also I can remember more often my blessings that really count...my family, my friends, my health and my faith.
Good night dear friends!

Prep for test!

   Well, I must be getting old, because it is time for me to have a colonoscopy. I really don’t think that I am that old but then again, I am a grandmother so….I guess I am not young as I used to be . I remember when my grandmothers were alive, back then they really didn’t go to the Doctor that often. One of my grandmothers never went, but always took Tylenol ( or something like that )every night, she said it was  just in case she did have a pain or something wrong with her. It always made me laugh when she said that.
   Both of my grandmothers lived to be in their mid nineties. They both said that they didn’t start getting sick or feeling sick until the Doctors got ahold of them, I guess they did do pretty  good on their own.

   So I decided I should write my post now while I could.  Someone asked me if I am nervous about the test? I actually am a bit, now that I met with the DR. before that I wasn’t it. She told me that two things that concerned her was that my Dad had colon cancer and that I have had Breast cancer twice. She said there can be a big connection between Breast Cancer and Colon Cancer…I did not know that.  Still I have 4 things in my favor she said and those were…I have never smoked or drank. I don’t eat fatty foods and I rarely eat red meat. Those were positive things , but the other two were not in my favor. So I really thought when I went in to meet her that this would be routine, and it still will be… but she will be looking at me a bit closer ( as she should ). I really liked her and the only thing I would have changed is how many times she mentioned the word Cancer. If you are a survivor, you realize that you don’t like when people use that word a lot or so casually. I know many of you have already had a colonoscopy and it is no big deal at all. I can’t wait till after it is tomorrow when I can report the same to you.

Still I am a bit anxious, but don’t have any gut feelings that anything is going to be wrong. Like I have said before, that anxiousness is just a side effect of cancer. No test is just routine any more, once you have cancer…it just isn’t !   I am trying to stay positive and pray that everything will happen as it should.

I will write again tomorrow when all this is behind me ( quite literally ) 

 

“A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.”  ~ Tom Stoppard

“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”  ~World Health Organization, 1948

The best six doctors anywhere
And no one can deny it
Are sunshine, water, rest, and air
Exercise and diet.
These six will gladly you attend
If only you are willing
Your mind they'll ease
Your will they'll mend
And charge you not a shilling.
~Nursery rhyme quoted by Wayne Fields

Struggling!

I am sorry that I didn't write last night. I had a wonderful Sabbath Day and so I really had a lot of things to share. But I really have been struggling for a couple of days and so I didn't know if I had anything uplifting to say. I have a few appointments that are coming up that are worrying me some. We still don't know what is going on with Lee's health and that ways a bit heavy on my heart. My tooth is still bothering me and Jeff just left for a week long business trip. So it could be one of any of these things that I am struggling with I guess?

There is a heaviness in my heart that I can't seem to get to go away. Sometimes I get feelings like this, right before something bad happens. I have prayed and prayed to know what the feeling is about and of course I try to remind the Lord that I have had so many trials already, and that I don't think I can handle any more right now.

As I even type this, I realize what a silly thing it is to counsel the Lord. I don't know better than He does, I just feel like I have been doing so much better, my health has been getting better and I have been out and about more than I have in a long time. I just feel like I am starting to really live again, and I can't handle any big trauma right now. Then I read this quote today and realized I need to have more faith and trust. I will share this quote with you, in hopes that like me...we will all realize who is in charge and that if we will rely on our God, He will make us equal, to any difficulty that comes  our way. I do know this to be true, I just forget sometimes!

"ON THIS UPWARD AND SOMETIMES HAZARDOUS JOURNEY, EACH OF US MEETS OUR SHARE OF DAILY CHALLENGES. IF WE ARE NOT CAREFUL, AS WE PEER THROUGH THE NARROW LENS OF SELF-INTEREST, WE MAY FEEL THAT LIFE IS BRINGINS US MORE THAN OUR FAIR SHARE OF TRIALS- THAT SOME HOW OTHERS SEEM TO BE GETTING OFF MORE LIGHTLY.

BUT THE TESTS OF LIFE ARE TAILORED FOR OUR OWN BEST INTEREST, AND ALL WILL FACE THE BURDENS BEST SUITED TO THEIR OWN MORTAL EXPERIENCE. IN THE END WE WILL REALIZE THAT GOD IS MERCIFUL AS WELL AS JUST AND THAT ALL THE RULES ARE FAIR. WE CAN BE REASSURED THAT OUR CHALLENGES WILL BE THE ONE WE NEEDED, AND CONQUERING THEM WILL BRING BLESSINGS WE COULD HAVE RECEIVED IN NO OTHER WAY."

"FAITH MAKES THINGS POSSIBLE...NOT EASY!"

Results are in.

Today I went to the Doctor to go over my test results, and hopefully understand why my energy has been so very low. We started out and as it went on, it seemed like there were a few reasons for the fatigue. My iron was very low, that has always been a struggle for me. My Vitamin B levels were very low. My Vitamin D was very low. There were some concerns about my thyroid that we are looking into. Plus I am still battling the Mono as I had suspected. You can have the mono virus your whole life, but it depends if you can keep the levels low enough, mine were high again. So I am not going to get into how we are going to work on all of these things but just to let you know...YES there are a few reasons why I might not be feeling too well. Thanks for your concern, thoughts and prayers. You are true friends!

Life really is full of lessons isn't it? There are constant reminders that we need to keep diligent in how we take care of our bodies. How we treat our body, what we feed our body and how much exercise we do or don't do. All these things plus hundred more things...all effect us. So I will continue to keep trying, take a bit more time out of my life to rest, take my supplements and do all I can to get my numbers up and in some cases down.

Well, it is my date night and I just got up from my nap. I bet Jeff wonders at times, why he can't have a more energetic and exciting wife? I am trying ...but lately I have been tired and boring. Good thing he loves me so much!

Yes, life is tough but wonderful at the same time!
Good night dear friends!

 

"The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson."  ~ Tom Bodett

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."  ~ Helen Keller 

Hope

Today I went to the Doctor and had blood work done, to see why my extreme fatigue is back. We won't know any of the results till next week, so I will have to be patient. I hope that it isn't Mono again. I had such a hard time getting over it the last time, I think I actually battled it for a year and a half. Anyway, I just need to think positive and be hopeful.

A dear friend of mine called today, and asked me to pray for a mutual friend of ours. She then told the situation that was going on in her family. They have gone through a couple of tragedies in just this past year.
There are people who experience tragedy and come out stronger for it, and others who have seemed to lost faith in anything, and even lost their desire to live. What is the difference? I believe it is where their faith is, and if they will give their trials to the Lord. Trying to do it on your own, can be overwhelming and almost impossible.
I myself try to remember not to say WHY? But What am I to learn from this? Who can I help from this experience? It also helps if I focus on the many blessings I have, even during the times of terrible troubles. There is always something to be grateful for.
Yes, having hope is a better way of life. Trusting our Heavenly Father, and realizing that He will never give us more than we can handle, and that He will never leave us alone during our trials is ... a great comfort to me.

I hope I can remember these things, more and more each day. Good night dear friends!

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished
by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope
at all." ~ Dale Carnegie

"There are those who have met disaster, which almost seems defeat, who have become somewhat soured in their natures; but if they stop to think, even the adversity which has come to them may prove a means of spiritual uplift. Adversity itself may lead toward and not away from God and spiritual enlightenment."  ~ David O. McKay

Perseverance

I have been struggling a bit, in a certain area of my life lately. I wonder at times why it is that throughout your life, that sometimes you struggle over the same thing again and again? Why is it that I can't either change this or learn to endure it well? I have always considered myself a survivor, fighter, and one who can be the change that is needed. But lately when I am still working on this particular area, I begin to wonder how tough or how much perseverance I really have?

I looked up some good quotes on not giving up and then tried to realized that there must still be something I have to learn through this trial OR I would not still be having it. In that case, I am wondering why I am such a slow learner? I have to step back, take a deep breath, and try to keep everything in the proper perspective. When my focus gets narrowed and all I can see is my problems or struggles..then I know I am in trouble. So keeping a perspective for me, is vital.

Tonight I will share with you a few quotes that have helped me out this week...hopefully they will bring some inspiration to you ...if and when  you need it!

"ON THIS UPWARD AND SOMETIMES HAZARDOUS JOURNEY, EACH OF US MEETS OUR SHARE OF DAILY CHALLENGES. IF WE ARE NOT CAREFUL, AS WE PEER THROUGH THE NARROW LENS OF SELF-INTEREST, WE MAY FEEL THAT LIFE IS BRINGING US MORE THAN OUR FAIR SHARE OF TRIALS-THAT SOMEHOW OTHERS SEEM TO BE GETTING OFF MORE LIGHTLY.
BUT THE TESTS OF LIFE ARE TAILORED FOR OUR OWN BEST INTERESTS, AND ALL WILL FACE THE BURDENS BEST SUITED TO THEIR OWN MORTAL EXPERIENCE. IN THE END WE WILL REALIZE THAT GOD IS MERCIFUL AS WELL AS JUST AND THAT ALL THE RULES ARE FAIR. WE CAN BE REASSURED THAT OUR CHALLENGES WILL BE THE ONES WE NEEDED, AND CONQUERING THEM WILL BRING BLESSINGS WE COULD HAVE RECIEVED IN NO OTHER WAY."
~ Jeffrey R. Holland

"There is no way of telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream"

"Being defeated is only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent."  ~ Marilyn vos Savant

Long Day!

Today even though it was the Sabbath, has been a long day. Our son Lee had 6 muscle spasm attacks. Two of which were longer than normal. It is just nerve wrecking to watch your child hurt sooooooooo much, and really not being able to do anything about it. I am sad to see the toll it is taking on his sweet spirit, he is getting really anxious about the next attack and when and where it will come? He is frustrated that we can't get this figured out and discouraged at how much of his time and energy this whole thing is taking.

We will continue to pray, watch, study, search and do all that we can, but oh how amazing it is that time seems to have stood still for most of this day. How thankful we are for family and friends who are keeping him in their thoughts and prayers.

I need to go to bed, good night dear friends!

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."   ~ Helen Keller

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."  ~ Helen Keller

Our prayers go out...

As I watched on the news of the devastating earthquake and tsunami, I was sadden. I couldn't even quite imagine what it would feel like to be in the midst of that kind of disaster. I am always grateful to see so many Humanitarian services step up to help immediately, without regard to the nationality or religion of the recipients. Then there are many services that are part of a longer-term effort to meet the needs of these disaster victims. Although those jobs have got to be hard, it must also be very rewarding to know that you are helping and reaching out to serve a fellow brother or sister, in time of need.

I have heard people say "oh if only we could do something". Well, how grateful I am for the opportunity we have to give monetary donations but more important, is the fact that we can pray for these victims. Now maybe to some, that sounds old fashion... but I know personally that prayers matter. I am grateful to know that my Heavenly Father lives and that He hears and answers our prayers. I know when I was battling cancer ... both times, there were so many who prayed for me. Some of who were friend of a friend, they didn't even know me personally and yet they petitioned to God in my behalf, I was touched. I am grateful that there is something I can do for all those people in Japan, I can pray and that is what I will do.

Life is tough, it is a place where we learn and grow. Many of those tests we go through, are the greatest teachers in our lives. May we all take the time to stop whatever we are doing, and prayer for these dear people who have had their lives turned upside down (literally). Yes, we can do something and we really should.

Seattle Times March 11, 2011

"Access to our Creator through our Savior is surely one of the great privileges and blessings of our lives. I have learned from countless personal experiences that great is the power of prayer. No earthly authority can separate us from direct access to our Creator. There can never be a mechanical or electronic failure when we pray. There is no limit on the number of times or how long we can pray each day. There is no quota of how many needs we wish to pray for in each prayer. We do not need to go through secretaries or make an appointment to reach the throne of grace. He is reachable at any time and any place."   ~James E. Faust  July 2002

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."  ~ Unknown

"Find a need and fill it."  ~Ruth Stafford Peale

"He who gives when he is asked has waited too long."  ~Sunshine Magazine

I made it !

   As you can see, the MRI machine below is the one that you have to go all the way inside the tube to take photos for a check up, to make sure I don't have cancer again. My last experience wasn't very good and it too way too long, plus a few other things that caused me to almost lose it when I was inside there. Most people like I mentioned before, take medication to make them relaxed enough to be able to handle going in there. Since I don't handle medicine well, I just have to go to my Happy Place. 
  I had a dream last night that while I was in the machine, the electricity went off and then the fire alarm went off and everyone left the building, and I was stuck in there and couldn't get out. I am not even sure you could wiggle yourself out of there so.... needlesstosay, I was praying hard, that I could reach my Happy Place and stay there until we were done today.
  The technician I had today was a man, that is a bit embarrassing but he was great, very kind, compassionate and sympathetic, I found after talking to him that he too was a Cancer Survivor...so he did understand the anxiety that I was having. But all in all I did it today, and hopefully when they get the results back in a couple of days, there will be nothing to report! Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, it really is a bit tougher to do than one would think.
  They were an hour late getting me into my appointment, there was a patient in there who had to have more imaging, I personally know that isn't a good thing. I saw her face when she came out, she looked scared to death. I remember being in her shoes just two short years ago. You go in for a routine exam and then it ends up when they need to do one more image and then another couple of mammogram's and then you need to come back and do some biopsies...yuck, those were scary days. When I  passed the lady in the dressing room, I just said a little prayer for her. She probably had to have a million thoughts going through her head, that kind of news is hard to take. I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her that I would pray for her. But I didn't bother her, I just said a silent prayer. Cancer...it is a life altering experience!

  Good night dear friends...thank you again!

"There is much in the world to make us afraid.  There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid."  ~Frederick W. Cropp

"He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself."  ~Samuel Butler

Sisters/Friends/Daughters

"How do people make it through life without a sister?"  ~Sara Corpening
I have thought about this quote/question many times in my life. What would it have been like to have a sister? Someone who I could have confessed my deepest fears too, someone who truly understood what my life was like?
I wondered even what she would have looked like? Then many times. even though I missed having a sister to share everything with, I was grateful that I didn't have one, chances were great that she would have been abused too, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone!
So I have spent the rest of my life finding sisters, in the friends that I have made. I truly think we are as close as sisters and I know that is rare, so I am grateful for those relationships. But also I was blessed to have daughters, who have grown up to be my best friends too.

"A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend."  ~Author Unknown
Now I have granddaughters too, so I have to admit, I have been richly blessed.

Today I woke up and had breakfast with my youngest daughter Lauren who is home from college. I had forgotten how much I missed her smile and sweet compassionate spirit. She was concerned, that I had yet another night of ...not much sleep. Then I got to talk to my sweet daughter-in-law over the phone, oh how much I love that girl, she is truly my daughter and I am grateful that Bradley found her! It always brightens my day to talk to her.

Next, I called a dear friend back East, who had just had surgery to see how she was doing.I wished I lived closer so that I could be with her.
Later in my day, Amy and the girls came over...somehow I always feel better when I see them. Right before my Doctor appointment, I had two dear friends call and check up on me. They both knew I was nervous about doing this nerve test on my hand. They themselves had already had the same test, and told me after all that I had been through, this test should be nothing.

"Help one another, is part of the religion of sisterhood."  ~Louisa May Alcott

I had what they call a Nerve Conductor Test today at my Spine Specialist office. It was to determine if the pain and weakness in my right hand is from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. It was a different test to say the least, they do about 8 needles  up and down your arm to test to see how the nerves react. Each time, he had to move the needle around in there and go pretty deep, to get the results he needed. That hurt, could I stand it?    Yes, but I don't know anyone that likes a needle moved around...while it's is in you! He also did a shock test up and down my arm,( sorta felt like if you have ever been shocked from an electrical outlet) he started out very mild and got stronger, did that hurt? The big ones did, but it was bearable.
I didn't really want to find out that I had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, but yet I did want to find some answers from this test. The Dr. was shocked ( no pun intended ), because he thought for sure it was Carpal Tunnel ...but as far as he could tell, I didn't have that and he was puzzled at why my hand is having so much trouble. He told me that he could send me to another specialist, or we could wait and see what results I get from my new Physical Therapist. I told him, I will wait and see. She hasn't even evaluated my neck yet, maybe she will have some answers for me.
So that was my day today, not very exciting but I guess the process of elimination is one way to do it? I guess, I was just hoping to be one step closer to helping me get out of some pain, some where, but not today! I am trying YET ANOTHER dosage of my medicine tonight, I pray that I will sleep and yet not be groggy all day tomorrow. Am I asking too much? Sometimes I wonder?
Thank you for being my friends! When I count all the women in my life who have been like Sisters to me...I am feel pretty good about my life, and how lucky I am to have so many SISTERS! So "Good night Sis!" ...I always wanted to say that! :)

"Don't walk in front of me and be my leader, don't walk behind me and be my follower, but walk beside me and be my Sister."

"Sisterhood is not a destination, but a journey."  ~ Unknown

Ok, now you can breath!

There have been times in my life that I have gotten so worked up about something; or so frightened and worried about something that it seems like I forgot to breath almost. Today was one of those days, try as I might...I didn't sleep the best last night, in anticipation for my yearly mammogram and ultrasound appointment. One that I have put off a couple of times. I was going to have someone go with me but in the end, I really felt like I needed to do this one on my own. After many family and friends calling me, sending me cards and praying for me,  I knew that I needed to work on my ability to just trust the Lord again.

I arrived at Bellevue Medical Imaging at 9:30am and was immediately taken into the waiting room, then a sweet young nurse came out ( who was new to me ) and told me where to change my clothes and that she would be the one doing my mammogram today. I was a bit nervous because one of the nurses that I have had with me for the last few years, had moved to another facility and I was really hoping that she was going to be there. But I have to admit, this new nurse ( or at least new to me ) was incredible and very compassionate and caring too. She is definitely working in the right field! The mammogram went well and of course took less time since I only have one bodies ( as my 4 year old granddaughter calls it ). Then they took me into do an ultra sound. That is always a bit more scary to me because they are not allowed to tell  you anything that they see or don't see, as they are doing the ultra sound. When you are pregnant and have an ultra sound, they show you everything and tell you what everything is. Maybe they do that if you asked them but, basically because they are looking for cancer, it wouldn't be up to them to tell you anything. In a couple of areas she went back and looked and scanned it more than once, and so I was praying hard that she was just being thorough and not actually seeing an area of concern. That went on for awhile and then she had to check my left side. It was a weird feeling to have an ultra sound done on just my chest wall. When I first came in, they asked me if I had any concerns or had felt any lumps, my reply was "no, not anything with my breast but as far as my chest wall, I have no idea what I am actually feeling. I have never not had a breast there and so that is a little frightening some times to feel something hard and then realize, that is probably just a rib or something".

After she finished, they brought in another technician to get a second look and she didn't take much time at all, she felt the first tech did a thorough job I guess? Next Dr. Jacobson (the radiologist ) came in and did the ultra sound himself on me, checking me for the third time. He said that everything looked good and then he suggested that I come back in December for my MRI. My back was hurting by now, since it had almost been 2 1/2 hours so... I was glad that I didn't have to do any more tests. I was impressed once again with Dr. Jacobson, who seems to go above and beyond for his  patients. I know that he helped us last time with even picking a surgeon, getting into appointments right away and even came in on a Saturday to call and give us test results, so we wouldn't have to worry for the whole weekend. I am grateful for his compassion too and even though it was a hard appointment to make and keep today, I am glad I did and that it is over.

I admitted to Dr. Jacobson that I had a very hard time making this appointment. He said that I wasn't the only one, since they added the new wing on there for just Women's Imaging he said their numbers have dropped. I was shocked because I thought they would have had more business, it was a beautiful facility, plus they have more rooms for the mammogram's and testing and more employees to make things go smoothly. He said that there were a few reasons why it  has slowed down. One is ...because there is some controversy over how often you should get mammogram's, that is causing people to doubt, two is...because of the economy...people are just cutting costs all together, even if that means not going to their regular check-ups and third is... it is hard to people who are survivors to go back into the whole medical cancer searching arena, they just want to go on with their lives and quit thinking and worrying about cancer. But knowledge is power and so I was grateful that I took a deep breath and finally did it. I did have to have a little coaching ( ok, a lot of coaching ) from my Doctor, family and friends but...I did it and so now I can finally BREATH and go on with life.

Thanks to all of you that have been so supportive and patient with me, I am sure it is frustrating at times to see a friend or loved one need to do something and yet they keep avoiding it. Just remember to be patient with them, (especially if you haven't experienced it yourself) and pray for them. Life can be hard and very scary at times. Thanks for  your faith in me... and as always for your love and prayers!

 

"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit."   ~ Emmuanuel Teney

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
Mother Teresa