Have you made Tear Soup lately?

Today I got the opportunity to teach on the topic of Adversity! Not real shocking, since I have been teaching on this very subject for over 35 years...still I believe that I have so much to learn from this topic! It really is one of my favorite subjects because I know that it effects us all!

I wanted to use the theme of this lesson after a book that I recieved when I got Cancer for the first time. I can't even remember who gave it to me, but it is one of my favorites! And I have bought it and given it away to someone in need...more times than I can remember. 

So here is my lesson from today!
You can read the whole lesson HERE:

This book Tear Soup was written by a Mother and son, then illustrated by her nephew. What a talented family. The Mother's name is Pat Schwiebert, she is a registered nurse and she has worked in the area of Bereavement for over 30 years. She said that her teachers...have been the ordinary people that she has worked with. She and her husband have a Hospice Ministry.

She says about her book Tear Soup that " Some cooking requires that you measure ingredients exactly. But making soup is different. Soup making is an art, and you are the artist. Improvising as you go, your only goal is that the blended creation with both safisfy your hunger and soothe what hurts you!"

You probably noticed that I set up my room today as a kitchen, I even brought my dinner Chicken Soup and put it in a crockpot so that it even smelled like a kitchen. 

When you first smelled the soup, what feelings did you have? Home, healing, soothing, comforting, warm, good!

Well, I believe that what I hope you feel when we talk about the ingredients that are important for us to put in our own Tear Soup, that everyone will make some time in their lives.

You probably noticed that on my pots of Tear Soup, I have labels...just  as the story goes in this book about Grandy, she realized when she had a loss or struggle in her life, she needed to make her own Tear Soup. The pot size would depend on how big her adversity is. She also realizes that she might have to make more than on pot of Tear Soup at a time. Some might just need to simmer for awhile, in smaller pots...but she still has to watch and attend them. Plus like me, she knows to always wear an apron...because Adversity just like cooking...could get messy!

How grateful I am for this lesson which is full of great ingredients for all of us when we have to make our own Tear Soup. 

Let's discuss these 5 ingredients in the lesson today.

I love this very first quote...
“When [the difficulties of mortality] humble us and refine us and teach us and bless us, they can be powerful instruments in the hands of God to make us better people.”

First ingredient is...Knowledge
We need to remember that Knowledge is Power
Adversity is part of God's plan for our eternal progress.

President Spencer W. Kimball, who knew a good deal about suffering, dissappointment, and circumstances beyond his control once wrote:
“Being human, we would expel from our lives physical pain and mental anguish and assure ourselves of continual ease and comfort, but if we were to close the doors upon sorrow and distress, we might be excluding our greatest friends and benefactors. Suffering can make saints of people as they learn patience, long-suffering, and self-mastery” [Faith Precedes the Miracle (1972), 98]

“This does not mean that we crave suffering. We avoid all we can. However, we now know, and we all knew when we elected to come into mortality, that we would here be proved in the crucible of adversity and affliction. …

“[Furthermore,] the Father’s plan for proving [and refining] his children did not exempt the Savior himself. The suffering he undertook to endure, and which he did endure, equaled the combined suffering of all men [and women everywhere.

We came to mortal life to encounter resistance. It was part of the plan for our eternal progress. Without temptation, sickness, pain, and sorrow, there could be no goodness, virtue, appreciation for well-being, or joy. … We must remember that the same forces of resistance which prevent our progress afford us also opportunities to overcome.

2nd Ingredient is ...Experience

Our mortal tribulations are for our growth and experience.

When [the difficulties of mortality] humble us and refine us and teach us and bless us, they can be powerful instruments in the hands of God to make us better people, to make us more grateful, more loving, and more considerate of other people in their own times of difficulty.

The great Book of Mormon patriarch, Lehi, spoke encouragingly to his son Jacob, a son born in the wilderness in a time of travail and opposition. Jacob’s life was not as he might have expected it to be and not as the ideal course of experience might have outlined. He had suffered afflictions and setbacks, but Lehi promised that such afflictions would be consecrated for his son’s gain (see 2 Nephi 2:2).

Then Lehi added these words that have become classic:

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, … righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad” (2 Nephi 2:11).

When you first came into the room today, you were given a piece of paper where I asked you to write down on one side, Your Greatest Challenge and on the other side, to write down the most Valuable Lesson you learned from that Challenge. 

No one was to put their name on them and so I shared those challenges and lessons as part of my lesson. Hoping that the Sisters would realize that they are not the only one with that exact challenge, and hopefully that they would have more compassion on others who too shared the same challenges as they had.

3rd Ingredient is... OPTIMISMIn the dictionary the word Optimism is... a feeling or belief that good things will happen in the future.
There have always been some difficulties in mortal life, and there always will be. But knowing what we know, and living as we are supposed to live, there really is no place, no excuse, for pessimism and despair.

So I hope you won’t believe all the world’s difficulties have been wedged into your decade, or that things have never been worse than they are for you personally, or that they will never get better. I reassure you that things have been worse and they will always get better. They always do—especially when we live and love the gospel of Jesus Christ and give it a chance to flourish in our lives. …

Contrary to what some might say, you have every reason in this world to be happy and to be optimistic and to be confident. Every generation since time began has had some things to overcome and some problems to work out.

Fourth Ingredient is... Sharing

When we come to the Savior, He will ease our burdens and lighten our loads.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:28–30.)

In our own great times of need we must not leave unrecognized this unfailing answer to the cares and worries of our world. Here is the promise of personal peace and protection. Here is the power to remit sin in all periods of time. We, too, must believe that Jesus Christ possesses the power to ease our burdens and lighten our loads. We, too, must come unto him and there receive rest from our labors.

Of course, obligations go with such promises. “Take my yoke upon you,” he pleads. In biblical times the yoke was a device of great assistance to those who tilled the field. It allowed the strength of a second animal to be linked and coupled with the effort of a single animal, sharing and reducing the heavy labor of the plow or wagon. A burden that was overwhelming or perhaps impossible for one to bear could be equitably and comfortably borne by two bound together with a common yoke. His yoke requires a great and earnest effort, but for those who truly are converted, the yoke is easy and the burden becomes light.

Why face life’s burdens alone, Christ asks, or why face them with temporal support that will quickly falter? To the heavy laden it is Christ’s yoke, it is the power and peace of standing side by side with a God that will provide the support, balance, and the strength to meet our challenges and endure our tasks here in the hardpan field of mortality.

We need not go through the adversities in our lives alone, unless we choose too! Our Savior has always been willing to help us, but we must let him. This principle is taught well in this cute story...
The Parable of the Milk

Once  there was a women who was deep in a tremendous trial; she had a small family to support and this burden was just to difficult to bear. She constantly called upon the Lord, begging him to remove this trial from her life, and couldn't understand why her prayers seemed to go unanswered. One day after she returned from the grocery store, she was carrying in the groceries when she spied her little three year old trying desperately trying to lift the gallon jug of milk. The little girl pulled and tugged but to no avail, she couldn't move the jug. The mother watched her struggle as the little girl tried so hard to help her mother with the load. Finally the woman picked up the jug, as she had the Lord to do for her so many times, taking the milk from the child. The little girl began to cry, "I want to do it...." she mumbled. The she lifted her head as her eyes lit up, "Mom, I know! I'll carry the milk and you carry me."

Sisters, the Savior has always been willing to carry us, as we strive to handle and learn from our own adversities.

5th Ingredients is... Faith and Hope
We need not fear the tribulations of the last days!

The scriptures … indicate that there will be seasons of time when the whole world will have some difficulty. We know that in our dispensation unrighteousness will, unfortunately, be quite evident, and it will bring its inevitable difficulties and pain and punishment. God will cut short that unrighteousness in his own due time, but our task is to live fully and faithfully and not worry ourselves sick about the woes of the world or when it will end. Our task is to have the gospel in our lives and to be a bright light, a city set on the hill, which reflects the beauty of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the joy and happiness that will always come to every people in every age who keep the commandments.

Inevitably the natural result of some of these kinds of prophecies is fear, and that is not fear limited to a younger generation. It is fear shared by those of any age who don’t understand what we understand.

But I want to stress that these feelings are not necessary for faithful Latter-day Saints, and they do not come from God. To ancient Israel, the great Jehovah said:

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. …

“And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.” (Deut. 31:6, 8.)

In light of such wonderful counsel, I think it is incumbent upon us to rejoice a little more and despair a little less, to give thanks for what we have and for the magnitude of God’s blessings to us, and to talk a little less about what we may not have or what anxiety may accompany difficult times in this or any generation.

A time of great hope and excitement

We need to have faith and hope, two of the great fundamental virtues of any discipleship of Christ. We must continue to exercise confidence in God, inasmuch as that is the first principle in our code of belief. We must believe that God has all power, that he loves us, and that his work will not be stopped or frustrated in our individual lives or in the world generally. …

I promise you in the name of the Lord whose servant I am that God will always protect and care for his people. We will have our difficulties the way every generation and people have had difficulties. But with the gospel of Jesus Christ, you have every hope and promise and reassurance.

… If our faith and hope are anchored in Christ, in his teachings, commandments, and promises, then we are able to count on something truly remarkable, genuinely miraculous, which can part the Red Sea and lead modern Israel to a place “where none shall come to hurt or make afraid.” (Hymns, 1985, no. 30.) Fear, which can come upon people in difficult days, is a principal weapon in the arsenal which Satan uses to make mankind unhappy. He who fears loses strength for the combat of life in the fight against evil. Therefore the power of the evil one always tries to generate fear in human hearts. In every age and in every era, mankind has faced fear.

As children of God and descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, we must seek to dispel fear from among people. A timid, fearing people cannot do their work well, and they cannot do God’s work at all. The Latter-day Saints have a divinely assigned mission to fulfill which simply must not be dissipated in fear and anxiety.

It is vital that we have all these 5 ingredients when adversity comes our way, and we have to make our own Tear Soup!
I also loved another book that a dear friend gave me called The Uses of Adversity.

  It had great advice from those who had lived through unbelievable adversities and pain and how they found a way to profit it and not let it destroy them. One of the true stories that touched me the most, was of a mother who lost one of her children in a terrible accident. After really struggling and trying to make sense out of what happen and asking a million times the same question  "WHY" over and over again in her prayers. She finally bore a sweet and powerful testimony of her knowledge of God, here is what she said at her son's funeral.

"I AM CONTENT TO LET  GOD BE GOD. I WILL NOT TRY TO INSTRUCT HIM ON HIS DUTIES OR ON HIS OBLIGATIONS TOWARD ME OR TOWARD ANY OF HIS CHILDREN. I KNOW HE LIVES AND LOVES US, AND THAT HE IS GOD. HE'S NOT UNMINDFUL OF US. WE DO NOT SUFFER OUT OF HIS VIEW. HE DOES NOT INFLICT PAIN UPON US, BUT HE SUSTAINS US IN OUR PAIN. I AM HIS DAUGHTER; MY SON IS ALSO HIS SON; WE BELONG TO HIM, AND WE ARE SAFE WITH HIM. I USED TO THINK WE WERE SAFE FROM GRIEF AND PAIN HERE BECAUSE OF OUR FAITH. I KNOW NOW THAT IS NOT TRUE, BUT WE ARE SAFE IN HIS LOVE. THAT IS MY WITNESS."

I pray that I will have this type of knowledge and testimony that my Heavenly Father loves me and knows me. And that I will never have to go through my adversities alone, unless I choose too.
I am grateful for the many valuable lessons that the adversities in my life have given me.
Yes, I learn so very much when I teach, so I feel very grateful tonight.
So...good night dear friends!

Gratitude

Gratitude,
I truly am thankful for the times that I get to study for these presentations that I get to do...like tomorrow night. Even though I have been speaking about mostly the same subjects for over 35 years. I continue to learn and grow.

I remember all the things that I am suppose to tell myself too, on tough and Bigger Than Me Days!
I am grateful for that.

Goodbyes are not forever!

As I read this quote, I realized that  people want to have some type of hope when they lose a loved one.
Every time I hear a siren, I my heart aches for them and their family. I pray that they have some way to find peace and find hope.


As I read James 1:5-6
 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.

It helps me remember there isn't anything that we can 't ask our Heavenly Father. We are not here to be lost and have no hope. We can have knowledge, and knowledge is power, that can give us Hope and Peace.
What a blessing!

“I recognize that, on occasion, some of our most fervent prayers may seem to go unanswered. We wonder, ‘Why?’ I know that feeling! I know the fears and tears of such moments. But I also know that our prayers are never ignored. Our faith is never unappreciated. I know that an all-wise Heavenly Father’s perspective is much broader than is ours. While we know of our mortal problems and pain, He knows of our immortal progress and potential. If we pray to know His will and submit ourselves to it with patience and courage, heavenly healing can take place in His own way and time.”

—Russell M. Nelson.

Good Night dear friends!

Tough Day!

As a Mother, Wife and Daughter...I need to hear this reminder today!
Hope it is something we all can remember on our tough days!
Good night dear friends!

My heart feels WARM!

Last week when I was staying with my daughter and family, I had just finished the older girls shower and teeth brushing. We were reading the scriptures and then my oldest Granddaughter had a question before we said our prayers and went to bed. "How do you know how your Mom and Dad will protect you if there is a fire? What if they don't hear me when I yell for help? What about a tornado, what will happen to us then?" And then she asked a few more questions that showed me she is learning an awful lot in school, but that she takes every thing literally and was quite scared about a lot of things
As I tried to remind her what Christ said right before His Crucifixion, was that He said even when He left them, he would not leave them comfortless but that He would send them the Holy Ghost. Then I went on and tried to explain the Holy Ghost to her, her Mom was in the room so we both were trying to share from our hearts. Then when she finally felt safe and not so scared she said " I have this warm feeling in my heart when you were talking, does that what the Holy Ghost feels like? 
 Yes, that is exactly how it feels to many people, other people cry because they feel the Spirit so strong, to some it may come as a whispering or as a thought. Whatever the way, I realized that I need to rely on the Spirit more each day to guide and direct my life. I need to not let my fears get bigger than me, and I definitely need to live my life in such a manner that I am worthy to have the Spirit to guide me!
How grateful I am for little children. For their child like faith and for their example to all of us to keep searching and keep asking ...until we get that WARM FEELING in our HEARTS!
Good night dear friends!

Everyone is fighting their own battles!

I am reading a book called HOWEVER LONG & HARD THE ROAD by Jeffrey R. Holland, it has been an amazing book so far. Last night I was reading in a chapter about how we all have limitations in our lives but it is how we choose to deal with them, that makes us happy or not. He then goes on to explains about a visit that he and his wife had at a prison. He mentions many things but here are just a few that made me stop and think!
One man who had gotten out of prison and came back to visit said this to the group of men he was speaking to. "Guys, the perspective in prison is really bad. Things really look better on the outside. Try to remember that." Then he turned to the outsiders, to the friends and families who had come in, and said, " You people are a light in a dark place. It it were not for love like yours, we would not be able to get from where we are to where we need to be."
At the end of the meeting  ( which was a graduation ceremony from a year long Bible Study Course ) an inmate who had been conducting the service concluded with some emotion in his voice and tears in his eyes. " This is the most auspicious occasion of our year, " he said of this graduation service. "It is better than Christmas. It's better than Thanksgiving. It's even better than Mother's Day. It's better because we're enlightened, and that's as close as we come to being free."

What a great reminder to all of us to remember that we can choose to be enlightened or not. We can choose to learn and understand or remain in ignorance. But knowledge is POWER, and that is exactly what this book kept reminding you of. This section made me thankful for my ability to keep trying, to not limit myself, to never give up and to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles each day. I think we would all treat others a bit kinder IF we could remember this!
Good night dear friends!

From the mouths of our children!

This is soooooooo sweet. We could all learn a lot IF we listened to the children more.
Watch this video for yourself and see, go here:
Good night dear friends!

Living the Abundant Life

After flying home tonight and watching the news about the Hurricane Sandy all the way home, I realized how very blessed we were in Boston, to only have the minor damages that we had in the area. Seeing all the homes that we destroyed and listening to the people talk about what they lost... was devasting to say the least. I had to come home and read something uplifting before I went to bed.  I loved this article. I love to be around people who no matter what happens in their lives, they always seem to be better for it and have a great attitude, they stay positive and even able to help others around them. I truly believe they are the type of people who have the ABUNDANT LIFE! 

It's good to be home, but we are missing the kids already!

Have a Positive Attitude

A in my ABCs refers to attitude. William James, a pioneering American psychologist and philosopher, wrote, “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”¹

So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment.

Charles Swindoll—author, educator, and Christian pastor—said: “Attitude, to me, is more important than … the past, … than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.”²

We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.

Believe in Yourself

B is for believe—in yourself, in those around you, and in eternal principles.

Be honest with yourself, with others, and with your Heavenly Father. One who was not honest with God until it was too late was Cardinal Wolsey who, according to Shakespeare, spent a long life in service to three sovereigns and enjoyed wealth and power. Finally, he was shorn of his power and possessions by an impatient king. Cardinal Wolsey cried:

Had I but served my God with half the zeal

I served my king, He would not in mine age

Have left me naked to mine enemies.³

Thomas Fuller, an English churchman and historian who lived in the 17th century, penned this truth: “He does not believe that does not live according to his belief.”⁴

Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities.

You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith.

Face Challenges with Courage

C is for courage. Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently.

Said the American essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide on, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.”⁵

There will be times when you will be frightened and discouraged. You may feel that you are defeated. The odds of obtaining victory may appear overwhelming. At times you may feel like David trying to fight Goliath. But remember—David did win!

Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one’s coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve.

Have the determination to make the effort, the single-mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only to face the challenges that inevitably come but also to make a second effort, should such be required. “Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”⁶

May we remember these ABCs as we begin our journey into the new year, cultivating a positive attitude, a belief that we can achieve our goals and resolutions, and the courage to face whatever challenges may come our way. Then the abundant life will be ours.

I got the story from Here:

 

The parable of the Two Lamps

 I heard this story in church today, I have heard it before but loved the simple message that it brought.

The Parable of Two Lamps by James E. Talmage

Among the material things of the past—things that I treasure for sweet memory’s sake and because of pleasant association in bygone days—is a lamp. …

The lamp of which I speak, the student lamp of my school and college days, was one of the best of its kind. I had bought it with hard-earned savings; it was counted among my most cherished possessions. …

One summer evening I sat musing studiously and withal restfully in the open air outside the door of the room in which I lodged and studied. A stranger approached. I noticed that he carried a satchel. He was affable and entertaining. I brought another chair from within, and we chatted together till the twilight had deepened into dusk, the dusk into darkness.

Then he said: “You are a student and doubtless have much work to do of nights. What kind of lamp do you use?” And without waiting for a reply, he continued, “I have a superior kind of lamp I should like to show you, a lamp designed and constructed according to the latest achievements of applied science, far surpassing anything heretofore produced as a means of artificial lighting.”

I replied with confidence, and I confess, not without some exultation: “My friend, I have a lamp, one that has been tested and proved. It has been to me a companion through many a long night. It is an Argand lamp, and one of the best. I have trimmed and cleaned it today; it is ready for the lighting. Step inside; I will show you my lamp; then you may tell me whether yours can possibly be better.”

We entered my study room, and with a feeling which I assume is akin to that of the athlete about to enter a contest with one whom he regards as a pitiably inferior opponent, I put the match to my well-trimmed Argand.

My visitor was voluble in his praise. It was the best lamp of its kind, he said. He averred that he had never seen a lamp in better trim. He turned the wick up and down and pronounced the adjustment perfect. He declared that never before had he realized how satisfactory a student lamp could be.

I liked the man; he seemed to me wise, and he assuredly was ingratiating. “Love me, love my lamp,” I thought, mentally paraphrasing a common expression of the period.

“Now,” said he, “with your permission I’ll light my lamp.” He took from his satchel a lamp then known as the “Rochester.” It had a chimney which, compared with mine, was as a factory smokestack alongside a house flue. Its hollow wick was wide enough to admit my four fingers. Its light made bright the remotest corner of my room. In its brilliant blaze my own little Argand wick burned a weak, pale yellow. Until that moment of convincing demonstration, I had never known the dim obscurity in which I had lived and labored, studied and struggled.

“I’ll buy your lamp,” said I; “you need neither explain nor argue further.” I took my new acquisition to the laboratory that same night and determined its capacity. It turned at over 48 candlepower—fully four times the intensity of my student lamp.

Two days after purchasing, I met the lamp peddler on the street about noontime. To my inquiry he replied that business was good; the demand for his lamps was greater than the factory supply. “But,” said I, “you are not working today?” His rejoinder was a lesson. “Do you think that I would be so foolish as to go around trying to sell lamps in the daytime? Would you have bought one if I had lighted it for you when the sun was shining? I chose the time to show the superiority of my lamp over yours, and you were eager to own the better one I offered, were you not?”

Such is the story. Now consider the application of a part, a very small part, thereof.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” [Matt. 5:16].

The man who would sell me a lamp did not disparage mine. He placed his greater light alongside my feebler flame, and I hasted to obtain the better.

I think what I love the most about this story is that he got to know the man to whom he was selling to first, and he became his friend, sincerely cared about him. Plus, he praised the lamp that the man already had, he did not try to be little his lamp, and then he simply shared his light! I think that is what Christ meant in the scripture Matt 5 :16 when He counseled us to share our light and good works with others.

 I was a full time missionary for our church ( The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints ),30 some years ago.  People asked me back then...why I would leave my family for a couple of years to serve a mission? The answer was simple, I felt like I had been blessed my whole life because of my relationship with the Savior, it has made all the difference in the world to me and my family. I was excited to share that with others (who may not have had the opportunity to know Jesus Christ or understand what it would feel like to follow Him).
 I am  proud to be a Mormon, although most of my life I have been judged harshly because of it. I am always amazed how people judge something hard, especially if they no nothing about it. But I have many friends of all different beliefs. I think they know that I am very respectful of what they believe, and as long as we can love and respect each other then life is good. But I did have a lady once asked me why I am so happy? And right when I started to open my mouth she said " and don't tell me it has to do with God or anything like that". I closed my mouth, because she really didn't want to know what made me happy and I couldn't lie, it had everything to do with God and His Son Jesus Christ, but that is not what she wanted to hear.
 I do think that many of us need to share our light with those in the world who are so caught up in the world that they can't see anything except what they own or what problems they have. It doesn't take having the TV on the news for 5 minutes, to realize there are a lot of people out there, really struggling in the darkness and don't know how to find peace or hope of any kind. For those of us who do believe, may we all be more willing and ready to share that light with others. That is the challenge I got today in church and I am grateful for it!

To learn more about what I believe you can go HERE:
Good night dear friends!

Oncology Rehab

Today I got good news from the Oncology Physical Therapist who is treating my lymphedema. How grateful I am that a friend told me about them. Wouldn't that have been nice to have received their card right after my surgery or after my Radiation treatment? Why did I have to wait 3 1/2 years before I even knew there was someone trained in this field? Here is their information...  Oncology Rehabilition Specialists, Inc.  425-467-7105  www.oncorehab.com The therapist that I am seeing is Connie, she is AMAZING!
How grateful I am that I finally found her and the other incredible ladies that work there. I hope this helps,
 anyone else who is battling cancer and the after effects of the surgery or treatment... so they won't have to wait as long as I did to find help.
I found out that my compression sleeve that I received in the hospital 3 1/2 years ago after my mastectomy, was suppose to be replaced every 6 months, who knew? See this is my gripe that I talk about quiet often. For as big of a business just Breast Cancer is ( not to mention all the other cancers out there ), why is there NOT more knowledge out there for the patients? Some times I feel without the proper knowledge you set yourself up to be victims of whatever the next side effect is... and that really upsets me. Just give people the proper education and knowledge about not only their disease, but their treatments and things that they MIGHT have to face in the future. Lack of that information creates fear, and no one who had had cancer before...needs any more fear!
So I am spreading the news, if  you have had cancer and are needing any type of Physical Therapy for the after effects from your surgery or your treatments, there is help out there and it is as close as Bellevue.
Still remember you are the survivor, you aren't a victim! Keep asking questions, if you don't get any answers then ask someone else. Be pro-active when it comes to your health. Know your body, and don't be afraid to listen to your gut feelings, they are seldom wrong. Doing these things can really make your HAPPY!
Good night dear friends.

"The most important thing in illness is never to lose heart."  ~Nikolai Lenin


"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death."  ~Author Unknown

 "The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. " ~C.C. Scott

To test, or not to test.

One thing that I forgot to mention the other day when I was talking about my annual cancer check up, was something the nurse said to me. She asked me, after going through my charts…if I had ever had the Genetic Testing that they do for women who have had breast cancer. My response was “no”. She then went on to proceed that since I had daughters, that it might be something I want to think about. I didn’t really feel like going into the whole way I feel about that test, and so I just mentioned to her that my insurance wouldn’t pay for it. Why? Because we don’t have any history of breast cancer in any of our family ( that we know about ). Since my Grandmother, Mother, Aunts didn’t and I don’t have any sisters, then insurance doesn’t think I am a likely candidate for that and so… therefore if I was going to do the testing, I would have to foot a $7000.00 bill for it. I don’t think so!
I know she was just doing her job in mentioning it, but honestly in the 11 years that I have been dealing with other survivors that I have met along  my way through cancer, I have heard some horrific stories of those who decided to do the this test. One of the first ladies was an acquaintance I made 11 years ago, she didn’t have cancer, but her family had and so she did the test. After she found out that she had that genetic gene, she went right away and had a double mastectomy and a complete hysterectomy. We later met at our one year survivor mark, and she was devasted when she went in for her yearly check up and the Doctor asked her if she had been doing her monthly self checks on her CHEST WALL! She didn’t know that she had to do that or that she could even get cancer back on her chest wall, that is why she had the mastectomy in the first place. He reminded her that cancer is an inside deal and it could come back there. Then because she had the test, next her young daughters ( in their 20’s )  decided to have the exact same  procedures, for fear that someday they might get cancer. I just hope that it gave them a sense of peace that they were looking for, if so then it was probably worth it to them.
You all know me, I truly believe that YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU! For me this isn’t what I wanted to do and even if I had $7000.00 I would not get that test, to see if I MIGHT have the genetic gene. Or I wouldn’t want my daughters to have any more FEAR than they already have. Fear can stop us from doing what we know, should be done. I know lots of women who are going down this road, and many have asked my opinion about this. I just want to say that my opinion is for me and my family only. I didn’t have a family history of it, I am not sure if I would have done it anyway because I don’t like my life ran by FEAR, and that is what it would have done for ME, I am not talking about anyone else, just me! 
I have learned from my cancer experiences, to not share my opinion with too many or even what roads I went down. I know what I did, was very unpopular, I did not follow the prescribed road. Still I did study, pray and decided on the road that was right for me and my family. Everyone’s choices and roads will be different, because we are all different. I just don’t like fear to take over my life. That is something you have to constantly work on when you are a cancer survivor. But knowledge is power and that is what everyone should have, a knowledge of their disease, a knowledge of options and  a knowledge about their bodies, we should know our bodies better than anyone else.
There are other tests that I could get each year to see if I might have cancerous cells again. I opt out of them for the same reason, the tests aren’t that accurate, and so it would only tell me if I might have cancer growing somewhere and then we would just have to watch that area to see if something develops. That would be such a burden and worry on me, it would take a quality of my life away.  So it is important for you to know what you want, what makes you happy, what scares you or builds you up. Ultimately the decision is yours  and yours alone.
So I hope this at least gives you an understanding of my decisions, but encourage all of you to make your own decisions. Good night dear friends!


“ True friends just love each other, and then support each other in their decisions”   ~ Lynn Woodard
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”  ~ Mark Twain

Lessons from a child!

Today I was asked to speak in church. I actually love to have that opportunity ( I know that is weird ). I think one of the reasons I love to teach and speak, is because of all the study and preparation it makes me do. I love reading my scriptures, but to have a reason to really dive into them and search things out of them, it a great experience for me. Some of my talk was about FAITH, and so I will share part of it with you.

I first started out with this cute story…

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a parochial elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

But this time a child had written a note and put it by the cookies  which said, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

I have always been interested in how children see things so black and white, completely trusting in what they have been taught by their parents

Then it reminded me, of how as parents… it is our responsibility to teach these children of the truths that we know. Of course we can not teach what we do not know. That is why it is vital for us to study, and pray to know the truth first for ourselves.

In James chapter 1 verse 5 it reads:

IF ANY OF YOU LACK WISDOM, LET HIM ASK OF GOD, THAT GIVETH TO ALL MEN LIBERALLY, AND UPBRAIDETH NOT; AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN TO HIM”.

I looked up the word upbraideth and in the dictionary, is said that upbraideth is to find fault with.  I think that is important to any of us that need to ask questions from our Heavenly Father, He is the source of all knowledge, but understanding no matter what we ask that He isn’t going to find fault or make fun of our questions. As a kid, I felt like that was very important, God promised to give answers to all and He will not judge us.

The only other thing we have to do (which is vital ) and it goes on to say this in James 1:6  is…“BUT LET HIM ASK IN FAITH,NOTHING WAVERING”.

It is important to remember “that great faith has a short shelve life” so we need to daily work on strengthening our faith and deepen our testimony of the Savior,  to the point that we can endure whatever life holds in store for us, and come out stronger than before.

I go back to where I started with an example of a child…
 
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

We need to stay close to our children and grandchildren, because they are closer to God than we might think. Wouldn't it be great for us to be that confident in our trust and knowledge in God, and understanding our purpose here on earth?
It is my testimony that we truly can obtain that type of faith and hope, and with that… be able to accomplish the purpose of why we are here!

Good night dear friends!

“Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe.”   ~ Voltaire

What I wished I had known when I was sixteen!

I have shared with many of you my one of my favorite authors….Jason F. Wright. Today I read his weekly article and it struck a cord in me. You might ask why? Because when I was sixteen years old, I was engaged to be married, it wasn’t a prearranged marriage but….close.  I know I was in the wrong culture for that, but still the pressure was on. I had known this guy for a couple of years and he was a very nice person.  He was 5 years older than me and had a good family. The problem was…I was too young! I still had a year of High School left. My Mom and his Mom already had their dresses made, the Women’s Club had already been rented and the material was bought for my dress to be made. However one night when a friend of ours was starting to measure me to make my dress,  she began to ask me some really important questions. Ones that I really didn’t have the answer for, like where we were going to live, or what he was going to do for a living. She also reminded me that IF we didn’t completely get along now…chances are it won’t get any better. So after that conversation and staying up all night crying and praying, I broke off the engagement the next morning. It was actually easier to tell him than it was my Mom. She actually struggled hard for years about my decision. Still I knew that it was right and how grateful I am, that I had the courage to do that.

So when I read this article that Jason Wright wrote for his daughter who was turning 16 today… I was both happy and sad. I was happy to hear the love that he had for his daughter, and yet a bit sad because I never had much of a relationship at all with my Dad. Plus, it reminded me once again the importance of a Father in a girl’s life. How happy I am that my girls and granddaughters have that, it truly is a blessing!

As for what I wished I had known when I was 16, was almost everything that Jason said in his article. I might have added for me these things…

That sixteen years old, is way too young to get married.

That just because someone is family, doesn’t automatically mean they can be trusted (they have to earn that trust ).

That my opinion was important and that I deserved to be treated well.

That I could trust my gut feelings.

That I was an important person,  and that I had much to share with the world.

And most of all that if I would wait a few more years, I would find the man of my dreams, and that he would literally be my best friend, be trustworthy, be a great Dad for our kids and a man that served the Lord.

Had I known that at 16…I probably would have broken off the engagement sooner!

A good reminder of this is, the silver band that this young man  gave me as an engagement ring, is still in our family. I asked my girls to wear it as a daily reminder to…marry the right person, at the right time, for the right reason and at the right place! So if I could go back and thank that young man for not marring me…I would. I actually think he would feel the same way
How glad I am that my Heavenly Father and so many friends were watching over me as a 16 year (who was not in a good place in her life ).

If you get a minute…read his article, he is a great writer! (He wrote one of our favorite Christmas books called… THE CHRISTMAS JAR)

http://jasonfwright.com/column/what-I-wish-Id-known-when-I-turned-16.html

Good night dear friends!

'The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet."   ~ Robert Orben

"You were born an original. Don't die a copy."    ~ John Mason

“Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!”     ~Lydia M. Child

“Any man can be a father.  It takes someone special to be a dad.”     ~Author Unknown

Getting used to the dark!

When I was a young girl, I worked in a pre-school for Handicapped Children. We would have to do home visits often, to see if there were things that could be changed in their homes, to help the children's progress. It was heartbreaking to go into those apartments or trailers, the situation these kids lived in...were often of abuse and neglect. Sometimes we had to get CPS involved, and they tried to get the kids out of these homes and away from their abusers.Each time the child didn't want to leave. I wondered why they wouldn't want to get out of these situations and once CPS worker said "it is familiar to them, this is all they have ever known, leaving the situation seems worse because it is the unknown". Heartbreaking is the only way to explain it.

When I read this survivor's story from the Chainbreakers Foundation, I wanted to share it. I remember well, getting used to the dark (as a child of incest). It isn't until you get out of that situation, into the light ...that you realize how bad your situation and perception was. This story is to ...once again help all of us to surround ourselves by light, and also to bring that light to anyone around us who is still suffering in the dark! (If you need information on how to help a friend or loved one, please go to this web site below...)

A Dark Room

http://www.chainbreakerfoundation.com/

The light switch goes off. It’s dark. I can hardly make out shapes and objects. All I have to do is wait. Sit frozen and wait until I can start to see again. Just a small wait in the dark and things start to become a little more clear, a little more comfortable. There is my nightstand; there are the piles of clothes on the floor. Why did I leave my closet door open again?

After a while I can see so “well,” I hardly notice that it is dark. My eyes have adjusted. I can freely and contently move about the room; things appear normal. I can see so clearly again. There is almost no notice to the darkness that has taken over the room.

My mind jumps to all those comments. Comments that enrage me; “Tamara, your room is a mess. Come out into the light.”

The light? What are they talking about? I can see just fine. My eyes are adjusted to the dark. Things are clear to me. Things make sense in the dark. I have learned how to get from one place to the next without tripping. Dark is normal for me.

It happens. Someday cracks the door open. That small amount of light allows me to see the things that I couldn’t see in the dark. There are my headphones I have been looking for, what is a bag of crackers doing on the floor?

I then become lucky. Winning a million dollar lottery lucky.

That same door that kept people out for so long, comes down. The hinges ripped out from the wall socket. The door is destroyed. Not only is the light pouring in, the blinds are then opened and I am introduced to sunshine. Sunshine?? Sunshine??? I have been longing for sunshine.

It is at this moment I see the room I have been sitting in for 10 years. This room is chaos. Things are turned upside down, broken, nothing has a place. How can I let my children live like this? Broken glass is all around me. How could I possibly be sitting in this place for so long and not have noticed? I feel stupid, embarrassed.

. . .

I crave light. I crave sunshine. It’s been so long. I finally have realized how to answer the question, “If things were that bad, why did you stick around for so long?” The truth; I had no idea I had been sitting in a dark room for 10 years. I got lucky. I got lucky that somebody pushed down that door and allowed me see the light. I love you Deneka Strom!!   You forever will be my angel!   ~ Tamara Chamberlain

 

"We cannot liberate victims; we can only educate them.
  They must liberate themselves."

Importance of WATER!

I read an article the other day that really made me realize the importance of water, one of the simple pleasures in life that I take for granted too often. The article was great and made me think of our dependence on water and especially clean water. I also love the reminder of our dependence on the Savior.  Hope you enjoy it! Good night!

"My employment takes me to communities all over the world where people do not have access to clean water. Our group works with local governments and residents to provide maintainable sources of pure, life-sustaining water such as wells and spring or rain captures.
These water projects offer a significant improvement in the quality of life. Health drastically improves because of clean water stops the contraction of typhoid, cholera, and other water-borne diseases. The economy also improves because parents and children who previously spent their time carrying water can now pursue employment and education. Even in communities with numerous and wide-ranging problems, people always say that clean water is what they would like most.
The Savior spent His earthly ministry in a time and place where people relied on well for water. As He taught the woman at the well by saying that "whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst" ( John 4:14) was He also teaching us that His gospel quenches--permanently--our most basic needs? I believe so."
I will always be grateful to a woman in Kenya, Africa, who taught me about the willingness to work to obtain water. I met her at a celebration following the installation of a well in her community. With gratitude she told me that the new well would cut her daily nine-mile trip to get water to a one -mile trip. She was overjoyed at the opportunity that would now be hers."
I couldn't help but think  how I would feel if I had to walk a mile to get water. I was impressed that she put everything--from  housework to gardening--aside while she made her journey to fetch water. She knew she couldn't complete the other tasks without that water. I thought about how heavy her burden was. Carrying water takes strength and endurance. Yet, for the sake of her family, she was willing to walk nine-miles every day to get it.
I wonder if we who get clean water from taps in our homes sometimes expect to come unto Christ with the same ease as turning a knob to get a glass of water. Or are we willing to put aside other tasks, even important ones, to seek to know Jesus Christ and His Father?
I know that the well of living water the Savior offers us never runs dry and is pure and life sustaining. When we come to Him with an empty cup, He will fill it, often beyond our capacity to receive. He is truly living water, a manifestation of the love of God.  ~ Matthew Heaps http://lds.org/ensign/2011/07/drink-deeply-of-the-living-water?lang=eng

 

"We turn with hope...to Him who walked the dusty paths of villages we now reverently call the Holy Land, to Him who caused the blind to see, the deaf to hear, the lame to walk, and the dead to live. To Him who tenderly and lovingly assured us, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life'(John 14:6)."  --The New Era, April 1991

"Even though the tasks of life become heavy, and although sorrow thrusts a drooping burden upon us, the light that emanates from our Savior beckons us on, undismayed."  ~Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

What's on the other side?

   Today is Sunday, I love Sundays. It is the only day of the week that we completely just do things as a family and  relax, go to church and to just do things that normally you wouldn't or don't take the time to do... like write cards to loved ones, call family and friends and so on. I was hoping tonight to share with you a few things I learned today but instead, my son is sick and I only have a few minutes to write.
    I found this little story and thought it was worth passing on. I have always said that Knowledge is Power, just like this story puts it. When you have a knowledge that your Heavenly Father lives and that He is in control of our lives, then you put fear away and trust that He knows what to do and will tell you what to do. For that knowledge, I am extremely grateful.

   Good night dear friends!

 

That Is Enough 

  A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."
"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"
The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room with his tail wagging and an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside... He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing. I know my Master is there and that is enough."  ~Unknown

http://www.inspirationpeak.com/cgi-bin/stories.cgi?record=110

"God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them."  ~Author Unknown

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."  ~ Norman Cousins