Heartbreak

Every day new information comes in about the terrible Mudslide that happened in Oso, Washington. It breaks my heart to hear all the stories of the families that have been effected. I thought about that today when I was out doing some errands in the beautiful weather. I remember when I had cancer, it seemed like the whole world was going on while my life was falling apart.
So today when I was driving around and knowing that I am feeling better...I realized how grateful I am for the things that are good in my life. My heart goes out to all those who are not as blessed right now.
I try hard to remember that life can change in just a moment and to be thank for every day and every moment that I get to enjoy health and joy. I also pray hard for those who are suffering and I hope some how they can feel some peace, comfort and hope. I am grateful for all those volunteers. We need to keep them in the prayers.
Good night dear friends!

 

Washington Mudslide

Heavy equipment moves debris on the western edge of the mudslide where it covers Highway 530 Wednesday morning, March 26, 2014, east of Oso, Wash. Washington authorities on Wednesday reduced to 90 the number of people missing from the community wiped out by the mudslide. (AP Photo/The Herald, Mark Mulligan)

 

 Found the articles Here:

beautiful heart break

Found another great video from Hilary Weeks that was simply uplifting! Just reading the words... is inspiring, but the video is great too!

Watch the music video  HERE:

Beautiful Heartbreak lyrics
I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I never dreamed my heart would make it,
I thought about turning around;
But heaven has shown me miracles,
I never would have seen from the ground.

Now I take the rain with the sunshine,
Cause there's one thing that I know;
He picks up the pieces,
Along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I have to say that I truly believe what this song says....I have learned some of important life's lessons through my hardest trials!

Good night dear friends!

Heart of the Home!

I have always heard that Mothers are the heart of the Home. I do believe that is true.
Yesterday, I went to visit my dear friend, whose Mom ( also my friend ) passed away this August from Cancer. As I walked into their home, I realized that although the home looked nice, it missed the homey touches that their wife and Mother always provided. We didn't stay long, just needed to drop something off, but it was different to go in their home and not see my friend's smiling face. I miss her. There was a definite void, not that we mentioned it, but you could really feel the difference and that made me sad. When I got home and out of my kid's sight, I just broke down and cried. I wondered what my home would look and feel like, if I died. I worried about my kids and how they would do. How do you handle a void that big? How do you handle the loneliness? I know all the answers, but it doesn't seem to make it any easier at the very beginning of such a huge challenge.

When my Mom  passed away, I never went back to our Farm house again. When my brother's did, they said it really looked totally different with just Dad living there on his own. I am grateful that I didn't have to experience my home without my Mother there. Yes, the home is totally different without Mom in it.

I hugged my young friend 2 or 3  times, I imagine that she needed it...or maybe I just did! So that is still hanging with me some. Every time I think of them, I tear up. I wish those who still have their Mothers with them, would tell her how much they love and need her. Living without a Mom is really tough. Ok, now my heart is aching again and it is close to the Holidays (that's when I really start missing family) so... I had better close, or at least change the subject.

On a happy note, I was able to go and teach at the Quilt Shop again today. How grateful I am for my up time. It used to be, that I had to be down most of the day and now I am up and out, more often than not...it feels great! I love being around all those incredible ladies and being around all that much beautiful fabric, doesn't hurt either!   ( If only I had lots of money to spend there ).

Well thanks for listening dear friends, you are all such a big  part of my life...yes each of you! Have a wonderful evening.

"A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, "where mother is."
-- Keith L. Brooks

"A mother holds her children's hands for a while...their hearts forever."
-- Author Unknown

"Children and mothers never truly part -
Bound in the beating of each other's heart."
-- Charlotte Gray

Reverence

I was at church last week and during Sunday School I watched a dear friend of mine who had just gotten diagnosed with cancer just 2 weeks prior. Not a lot of people knew of her situation, but I did.  I had a flash back as I watched her glazed over expression through the whole class. I wanted to go over and put my arm around her and tell her everything is going to be ok, but the room was full and I was on the other side. I remember people telling me that everything would be ok, and I would just looked at them and smiled. I thought to myself ....maybe it will be fine, but who knows how long that will take or what I will have to go through first? All these questions and thoughts ran through my head as I watched her. I could still remember vividly sitting in her exact position just over a year ago. It is weird when something tragic happens in your life. It is hard to explain, but it is like your whole world has stopped... but yet you still are living in a world that is still going on. You are numb and yet you still function, you are heartbroken and scared and yet you still have to make decisions, go places and keep certain schedules, yes it is a weird and hard to place to explain. Now seeing it from the outside in , it feel as it if there should be a reverence for that place, space and actions that are going on around that person. I remember wondering how other people could possibly be smiling and talking and functioning, when my world seemed to be crashing down all around me? Yes, I felt a reverence for this dear friend.

I looked up the word reverence and here is what it said...

rev⋅er⋅ence

–noun

1.
a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe; veneration.

2.
the outward manifestation of this feeling: to pay reverence.

3.
a gesture indicative of deep respect; an obeisance, bow, or curtsy.

To me it could all be summoned up in one word RESPECT, may we try a little harder to RESPECT the situation that these dear friends are going through, RESPECT their grief, RESPECT their fears and concerns, RESPECT their need for more comfort and support. Yes, it is hard to stop and remember to be respectful for those around us who are hurting in so many ways. There is a whole lot of pain and fear in the world, could we try to help comfort and respect those who are going through it?  That is my hope! Good night dear friends.

Please don't forget to look outside of yourself, your schedules, your day... to see how life is treating those around you.

Sometimes Motherhood hurts!

Today we tried to get all the last minute things together for Lauren to leave. She had help from Krystal and Amy packing and repacking, weighing and re-weighing...can't go over 50 pounds! I was grateful it was a busy day so that I didn't really have time to think about it. We celebrated her birthday ( early ) so that we could all be together for that too!

The reality of her leaving is beginning to sink, now that my living room is full of luggage and her room is getting more empty. I can do this....right? Well, the only thing that does my heart good is knowing that she is ready and excited to go. She wants to get on with the rest of her life, for that I am grateful and excited.

Watching her tell her sister Amy and the girls good-bye tonight though started the tears again. I am going to bed, maybe if I sleep my heart won't hurt sooooo bad! I know....this too shall pass, but it hurts!

“Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life. The mother's image is the first that stamps itself on the unwritten page of the young child's mind. It is her caress that first awakens a sense of security; her kiss, the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world.”

So good-bye dear Lauren, good luck and I pray that you will remember to keep looking for all the beautiful things in life! Life really is good!  We love ya!

Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you
Until we meet again!
~Author Unknown

"Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart."  ~Kay Knudsen

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected."  ~Nicholas Sparks

Heartbreaker

Motherhood even though it is has been my full time job for almost 27 years, still I find aspects of it that are hard for me. Some things you get used to, and others still hurt your heart every time. For example... a kid leaving home for the first time! That is one that is very hard on a mother's heart, especially if you like the kid! :) Lauren is heading to college in 3 days and I cry when I go to sleep thinking about it and I wake up and do the same. I know you are probably thinking, this is your third child you should be used to it! But I am not. I remember it just like it was yesterday when we dropped Amy off to college and when Brad left for school too! I just knew that my heart would break in two!

I remember a dear friend of mine who was getting ready to send her first and only child off to kindergarten. She would cry when she would just talk about it, I assured her that she would some how make it past this, and soon enjoy her time for herself and the growth that she saw in her child. She did survive and now, has another child to go through that again with. That is what motherhood is all about though. You do live to tell about it, but then there is always another situation or child to go through it again with. Yes, motherhood is NOT FOR SISSIES !

Those of you who are reading this and are EMPTY NESTERS, have already been there and done that. I could sure use your advice. I am not quite there yet, but still this is part of the process that will get me ready when Jeff and I have an empty house. I am grateful that my son and daughter-in-law have moved in with us for 4 months while they do their internships here. So I lose one and gain two....I am not complaining!  Still having Lauren leave is going to put a empty spot in our home and our hearts, she was a handful to raise up until she became a teenager, and then she has been a real treat to have around. ( Most kids do it the other way around, but Lauren was never quite like anyone we had ever met! :) So please bare with me as I try to go through this next challenge in my life as a mom.

I hope soon my blog will be up and running again and we can stay in touch. I pray that the holidays were memorable for each of you and that  you were able to enjoy the true meaning of Christmas. Thanks for being my friends and family.

 

" Do not pray for tasks equal to your abilities, but pray for abilities equal to your tasks. Then the performance of your tasks will be no miracle, but you will be the miracle."

" You never know what a girl is worth, you'll have to wait and see;

But every woman in a noble place, a girl once used to be." ~ Thomas S. Monson

“ The whole process of raising a family is one of perfecting our own lives. That which we transmit consciously and unconsciously to our children in their rearing in the home and in the community must be the best within us.”  ~Henry D. Moyle

Loss of a loved one!

Yesterday, I received news from friends that 2 people they knew closely... in their lives committed suicide. They were not related cases but still upsetting to say the least. I think, that must be one of the hardest things to happen to someone you know. The shock alone would be hard enough but I think it is natural to wonder if you could have done something, somehow to have stopped them? Although that is natural, it would be easier to have it weigh heavy on your heart if not careful. I guess the best thing we could do is to make sure to truly pay attention to those we love, to what their trials are, their fears, their concerns. Just being more aware of that, I believe could make a huge difference. I also think it is vital for us not to judge these people who have taken their life. The truth is... we can never really know everything about someone. Some times people don't share how bad or fearful they really feel. Some times people who are sad or upset put on a mask, covering up their real feelings. You can't always know that. Also remember that everyone handles problems differently. You can't just look at them and think ...oh I have been there and it wasn't that big a deal. Especially don't judge if you haven't been there before!

Just remember for yourself to not let yourself get so down, discouraged, depressed and desperate without telling someone, sharing your true feelings with someone you love and trust. Life is worth living! Life is all about the trials and experiences we are going through, but no one should have to go through them alone.

Pray each day to know who's life, you need to touch. I promise you that God will send you to these people or put them into your life. Just keep your eyes and heart open for those sweet whisperings of the spirit to guide you. And don't forget to pray each day for those who are struggling, fearful and down, they need our faith and prayers.

Good night dear friends and remember you are loved and appreciated!

A Poem  written by Jocelyn Soriano.

Where would you go
that I cannot follow?
for how long must I wait
until we meet again?
what would I do
in times that I miss you?
where would I go
in times when I long to see you again?
how must I spend
the nights without you?
how do I bear
each morning that you’re not there?
shall I ever smile again?
will I ever laugh again?
will I ever face the world again
knowing that I'm not alone?
why must you leave me?
why must I cry these tears
when you’re not here
to wipe them all away?
why must I suffer
the empty days without my beloved?
why must I dream
without you by my side?
the days shall never be the same again
I will never be the same again
without you
the life of my soul,
the joy of my heart,
the light in my eyes,
the hope of my dreams,
the comfort of my lonely nights,
without you my beloved,
I grieve and cry,
I grope and stumble in the dark,
I weep with all my soul
I desire with all my heart
I let go of all of me that you took away with you
I keep all of you that is in me,
and will always remain in me
wherever I may go
I wait and pray and hope
I will look forward to each brand new day
thankful for all that I've had and will always have
thankful for the sun that shines again
believing and hanging on
believing that life will go on
it can’t help but go on
it shall go on
and in so going
there really is no end
only mornings and evenings
and life that never ever ends.

 

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."  ~From a headstone in Ireland

"To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die."  ~ Thomas Campbell