Support Groups

I have realized in my life that there are times that Support Groups are good for certain people at certain times. Thre was a time that I went to a support group after my first cancer and then another time after my second. Then one day I realized that I was at a place that was healthy and better and I know longer felt I needed to be at a Support Group.
Then I had trouble with lymphoedema again this past year and needed to get treatment for it. After that the PT invited me to a Lymphedema Support Group. I wasn't sure about going but I did. I never went back but they keep sending me the invite for each month. I didn't mind at all, but decided I needed to be honest about how I felt about it, this was my letter to her.
Thought it was important to be honest with her and myself.
Good Night dear friends!

I won't be attending any more of the meetings for awhile, so if you want to take me off the evite list that is fine. I really enjoyed meeting you and the other amazing ladies. But one thing I noticed after leaving (the one meeting I did come to), is how anxious I felt again. I didn't really understand why until I got home and really thought about it.

 First of all, I talked too much during it, mostly just joking because I found myself anxious to be among all those survivors. I have been to support groups and I think they are great when you are at certain points in your life. Then I have found there are other times, (when you have sorta moved on and started living life again) that it seemed like being at the Support Group, wasn't really supporting me any more. 

I think that was it, the topic was great, you were great, the ladies were amazing... but as I sat there, it threw me back into the days when I was daily battling cancer and the fears that came along with it. I empathized with some of those ladies worries and fears, and it sorta made me scared all over again. 

Cancer is a tough card to be dealt in life, but living... truly living after Cancer is even tougher. To learn to have hope, to learn to start dreaming or planning again, to learn not to look over your shoulder at 1000 times a day, wondering if Cancer is going to come back and threaten your life again... that is the tough stuff!

I have had Cancer twice, and twice I have gone on that roller coaster ride.. but now 7 years later since my last battle with it,  I have gotten off the ride for most of the hours in a day and most of the days in a week.

 Will I ever forget having Cancer, no I will never have that luxury as I put on my prosthetic every day. Will I ever stop watching carefully what I eat, to avoid negative thoughts and enegy, or stop being pro active in listeing, truly listening to my body? NO, but I am trying now to get on with Life, and have a life that my family can se, is more beautiful and fulfilling because of my experience with Cancer... but a life that is not all about Cancer any more.

I am glad that Donna from Martin Medical is coming to speak to the group, she is amazing. I would recommend working with her, to anyone. She has truly been a blessing in my life and she is passionate about the work that she does. Please tell her hi for me. 

Thanks again for the work that you do and if something changes in my life, where I feel like I need to be back there with you all... I will be there. 

Sleep verses Cleaning!

Woke up really early this morning because I was hurting and just couldn't go back to sleep. My arm has started swelling again, I have been wearing my compression sleeve every day and doing my lymphatic draining each day too, but still it isn't going away. The pain feels like it is a bad ache all the way to my bone in my upper arm. Days like this make me frustrated that the Doctor took so many, if not all of my lymph nodes out. I know that is just what they did years ago when they were treating cancer patients. But I was a swimmer at the time and specifically asked not to have many taken out...just for reasons such as this. It has been 5 years and I have had to deal with this the whole time. That is very frustrating. Good news is, I think now they try to leave as many nodes as they can, so maybe there won't be so many women suffering from Lymphodemia as much. We can only hope.
I decided since I couldn't sleep to just get up and clean, that didn't make my arm feel better at all but...I was glad to have a cleaner house. I am still struggling with a decision I have to make and that too ( along with the pain ) was keeping me from sleeping. Why do I let things go so long, before I stand up for myself? I know better than to stay in a situation when there is bad energy there, I can't afford to have that. Negative energy is bad not only for your health, but for your heart and your soul.
Today as I cleaned, I think I came up with ways to fix my situation, but they aren't going to be easy or pleasant, that is what I don't like. Oh well, need to head to bed and see if tonight will be kinder to me.
Good night dear friends!

Oncology Rehab

Today I got good news from the Oncology Physical Therapist who is treating my lymphedema. How grateful I am that a friend told me about them. Wouldn't that have been nice to have received their card right after my surgery or after my Radiation treatment? Why did I have to wait 3 1/2 years before I even knew there was someone trained in this field? Here is their information...  Oncology Rehabilition Specialists, Inc.  425-467-7105  www.oncorehab.com The therapist that I am seeing is Connie, she is AMAZING!
How grateful I am that I finally found her and the other incredible ladies that work there. I hope this helps,
 anyone else who is battling cancer and the after effects of the surgery or treatment... so they won't have to wait as long as I did to find help.
I found out that my compression sleeve that I received in the hospital 3 1/2 years ago after my mastectomy, was suppose to be replaced every 6 months, who knew? See this is my gripe that I talk about quiet often. For as big of a business just Breast Cancer is ( not to mention all the other cancers out there ), why is there NOT more knowledge out there for the patients? Some times I feel without the proper knowledge you set yourself up to be victims of whatever the next side effect is... and that really upsets me. Just give people the proper education and knowledge about not only their disease, but their treatments and things that they MIGHT have to face in the future. Lack of that information creates fear, and no one who had had cancer before...needs any more fear!
So I am spreading the news, if  you have had cancer and are needing any type of Physical Therapy for the after effects from your surgery or your treatments, there is help out there and it is as close as Bellevue.
Still remember you are the survivor, you aren't a victim! Keep asking questions, if you don't get any answers then ask someone else. Be pro-active when it comes to your health. Know your body, and don't be afraid to listen to your gut feelings, they are seldom wrong. Doing these things can really make your HAPPY!
Good night dear friends.

"The most important thing in illness is never to lose heart."  ~Nikolai Lenin


"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death."  ~Author Unknown

 "The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. " ~C.C. Scott

Heredity

Today I took my son Lee to the chiropractor for a catch in his back. It actually was pinching a nerve and so for the last couple of days he has been in a lot of pain. I asked my chiropractor once if they all inheredited my back problems and he said "Yes, it sure looks like it" . I feel bad but I realize that I guess that is just life. I know I certainly don't judge other moms when I see them wearing glasses and I see all their little kids behind them are wearing them too. I should go easier on myself I guess, but I just hate to see my kids in pain. Of course I have been in pain for so many years in my life, I am used to it but I certainly would rather have it than watch one of my kids suffer. Lauren had to be adjust for a rib out and then I needed an adjustment too. I have to admit, I am very tired of being in pain. I really want to feel better before I head out on this trip.

I also wrote a letter today to my insurance company to see if they will reconsider covering the Lymphedema compression pump suit that was suggested by my Physical Therapist to get for my swelling. I am trying to wear my compression sleeve more but now that the lymphedema is going down my arm, it is a lot more painful to wear. I need to get use to it because I am going to have to wear it often during this trip.

So today I will just take one step at a time and realize that at least I am still moving. I need to try and enjoy this trip even though I am still hurting and have a few other things to worry about. My life has never been perfect, I don't really think anyone's is. I hope that I get this compression suit so at least there is one less thing to worry about every day. Thanks for walking this journey with me and for always being there.

"Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices."   ~ Paul Tournier

 

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

"Life consists not simply in what heredity and environment do to us but in what we make out of what they do to us."   ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick