Second Chances!

From the time I was young, I always believed in Second chances, actually in Third and even Forth chances. I was always determined to make my family in the future, better than what I had. I remember when I realized that my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ really knew me, and would do anything to help me be successful and truly Happy in my life! That was a life changing moment for me. I knew that I was a child of God, and with that knowledge came a peace and happiness that has served me throughout my life.
In a world that doesn't like to mention faith or God, I have to admit that is my Faith that brings the most happiness and joy in my life. Life is tough, hard and there is a lot of Pain in the world. To truly understand that we are here to learn and experience hard things, things that would couldn't learn in any other settings or way, really helps. To know that we have a reason to be here and a chance to live again after this life... is a great blessing.
I loved to hear how this Navy Seal, a very tough, and successful man, finally felt that Happiness and Peace in his life, that he had been missing.
Hope you enjoy it too!
Good night dear friends!

Founding member of SEAL Team Six shares journey to faitht

Michael Moore, Larry Barrett and Frank Phillips (location and date unknown).

Frank Anthony Phillips sits in his clean, organized office next to his wife, Marci. Midday rays pour through a window and bathe them both in flattering light. When Frank looks at his best friend, which he does often during our two-hour interview, his features soften and the Spirit draws a smile on his experienced face.

Frank was a founding member of one of the United States military’s closest, most elite families: the Navy’s SEAL Team Six. He is accomplished — both on the battlefield and in business. He’s also authentic, genuine and tough.

In fact, he’s so tough, people don’t tell those clever Chuck Norris-style jokes about Frank Phillips. They wouldn’t be funny; they’d be true.

These are the 76 original members of SEAL Team Six, often called “Plank owners.”

Marci is a founding member of a biological family she never knew. As an infant, she was dropped on a doorstep in Korea and soon adopted in the United States. She is kind, extraordinarily capable and equally accomplished in business.

As I listen to Frank, as I watch his clear, confident eyes, it’s obvious he possesses great faith and trust in three things: God, Marci and second chances.

Sometime after confirmation at age 13, he began to lose his taste for faith. Though his parents rarely attended, they insisted the children not miss a Sunday. When they dropped Phillips and a brother off at the chapel, the boys would wait for the family car to disappear. Then, they’d do the same. With tithing tucked in their pockets, they darted to a nearby donut shop.

The doughnut shop where Frank Phillips and his brother often spent their tithing as boys growing up in California.

By age 16, Phillips was a popular jock who enjoyed parties and dreamed of independence. Finally, after running away and being tracked down by his father and some high school coaches, his parents agreed that if he earned his GED, they would allow him to enlist in the Navy at age 17 following his junior year.

He did, and Phillips proved a quick study. Before long he became a member of the Underwater Demolition Team — a Navy frogman — and was raising eyebrows with his drive, desire and ambition to get things done.

Meanwhile, the world was in turmoil. In late 1979, the U.S. Embassy in Tehran was overrun by Iranian students and 66 Americans were taken hostage. In April 1980, a rescue attempt dubbed “Operation Eagle Claw” tragically failed and the Navy knew it was time for a new, world-class counterterrorism unit to rival the Army’s elite Delta Force.

Frank Phillips graduates from the Navy’s BUD/S.

Commanding Officer Richard Marcinko was tasked with launching this exclusive squad. He called it “SEAL Team Six,” reportedly to confuse the Russians and other enemies on the number of actual teams in action. Marcinko wrote extensively about this experience in his best-selling book, “Rogue Warrior.” He’s also spoken about his experiences on many television shows.

Over a period of just six months, Marcinko handpicked 76 of the Navy’s best, including Phillips, and trained for a rescue mission that would not be needed. Days before launching, on Jan. 20, 1981, the hostages were freed as Ronald Reagan gave his inaugural address in Washington, D.C.

The training, however, was not in vain and SEAL Team Six would take part in high-stakes operations around the globe. They are the team responsible for killing Osama Bin Laden, along with many other high-profile worldwide operations. Though other similar groups have come and gone, SEAL Team Six continues today as one of the most elite special operations counter terrorist units in the world.

Frank Phillips and Marci Carter on their honeymoon in 2007.

During Phillips’ 16 years as a part of SEAL Team Six, and later as a founding member of Red Cell, the first anti-terrorism team, he lived hard and experienced things most will only see in movies. When he wasn’t saving someone else’s life, someone was saving his.

He’s been blessed with second chances in firefights, chases, close combat and in amassing more than 800 parachute jumps. Many of those trips started from a commercial jet 35,000 feet above the Earth and while traveling more than 600 miles per hour. Imagine spending more than 25 minutes navigating your way to the ground in enemy territory.

Though he retired into the private sector in 1991, Phillips’ life continued to run at high speeds. He excelled in business and was soon managing high-level security and training projects around world worth half-a-billion dollars.

“You had it all,” I tell Phillips as our discussion swivels from career to faith.

Frank Phillips and Marci Carter on their honeymoon in 2007.

“Not really,” he answered. “I had a hollowness in me. I was not fulfilled. I’d always been a challenge-driven guy. I wanted the next mission and I wanted to be the top SEAL, top unit, top guy at work. I had achieved all that and acquired these material skills sets. But I was still never satisfied.”

He turns to his wife. “Even in relationships, I felt empty.”

Then came Marci in 2005. They met as colleagues working at a large defense contractor.

“I remember thinking, here is this V.P. of this company and he has a dinky little American flag on his desk,” Marci recalls as Frank’s eyes lock on her profile. “I thought it was goofy at first. But I learned very quickly how important it was to him. I learned what patriotism really is and that I’d taken it for granted.”

Marci describes how, for the first time in her career, she saw an executive who actually followed through on every commitment. “That struck me. I realized that Frank is a person of action. If you want something to get done, you ask Frank. And he had such ethics — that stood out.”

Moments before his baptism with, from left, Quentin Phillips, Marci Carter, Frank Phillips, Sister Malloy, Sister Lewis and Barry Bryant.

Soon after they began dating, Marci invited him to church. She’d drifted away from her faith — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — and knew it was time to return. She wanted the happiness only the gospel brings, and she wanted to share that with him.

“This was a new season in his life. I understood the things he’d done, who he used to be, but I didn’t see him that way.”

Over the next two years, Marci continued to learn what the country meant to Frank, and Frank learned what the gospel meant to Marci. Frank was taught by friends, church members and Marci’s parents. “But it wasn’t the words,” Frank says. “It was the actions of those around me.”

Many friends attended Frank Phillip’s baptism, including from left, Steven Lowe, Becky Lowe, Marci Carter, Frank Phillips

In June 2007, Frank was baptized by Barry Bryant, one of the church members most responsible for his continued conversion.

“I get goosebumps when I think about it,” Frank says. “It’s what I love most about the doctrine. This baptismal process, and the cleansing of my sins. I prayed it would all be true, this chance to start anew.”

When Frank came out of the water, he felt a warm, overwhelming feeling of relief. “I knew I’d been cleansed. Suddenly, 50 years was off my shoulders.”

The couple was married a month later, adopted into a loving, accepting ward family. In 2009, they were sealed in the Washington D.C. Temple, and they have countless church members to thank for fellowshipping and answering questions along Frank’s journey.

In between colorful stories and lessons learned, Marci and Frank both offer praise of her parents and how without them, she wouldn’t have the gospel. “They’ve been the biggest blessing in my life,” Marci says. “I know that God put me on a detour through Korea, but he knew where my earthly parents would be.”

Frank Phillips teaches a safety class at Golden Seal Enterprises.

When I ask Frank to consider some of the things that drew him to the gospel, he starts by nodding at his wife. “A big part of my testimony is sitting right next to me.”

He adds an appreciation for living prophets and apostles and the blessing of temple service. “The church is so service oriented, and we trust everyone does their part.”

The thought prompts him to make another military analogy. “When I think about the men I served with, I trusted them with my life.” He smiles at his wife and continues, “I do the same for her. We would die for each other.”

We listen as he’s reminded of the parable of the lost sheep. “It’s all about the ninety and nine versus the one,” he shares. “We save the one, no matter who it is.”

Frank Phillips poses in his office at Golden Seal Enterprises in Winchester, Virginia.

Today, the couple owns and operates a successful high-end training and security firm in Virginia. With employees around the world,Golden Seal Enterprises offers protective security services, weapons training, law enforcement courses, specialized driving training and more. But none of it, Phillips says, is more important than what they do as husband and wife, home and visiting teacher, Young Women president and counselor in a bishopric in the Berryville Ward in Winchester, Virginia.

As we prepare to say goodbye, I note how much good Frank Anthony Phillips has done with his second chances at life, love and faith.

“Well, it’s because I’m no longer empty,” he says. “Because of the gospel, I’m a different man.”

You can read more of Jason's articles HERE!

It's the Little Things

After 40 years, Utah man seeks forgiveness from Texas town

    I have always liked the saying "SOME TIMES IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MATTER THE MOST"

    I think this is what this article by Jason Wright was all about.

Dr. Kim Roberts of Salt Lake City and Robert Hanna of Denison, Texas, have never met. They’ve never chatted on the phone nor exchanged an email.

Instead, they’re linked by two letters and bonded by a brick.

In 1973, Roberts was serving as a missionary in Texas when his travels took him to Denison, a small city 75 miles north of Dallas.

Roberts remembers one afternoon strolling along and noticing something unusual about the red bricks in the sidewalk near the house they temporarily called home. Some of the standard-sized bricks were stamped with the words, “Don’t Spit on Sidewalk.”

Roberts eyed a few unstamped bricks loose on the edge of the road and decided it was time to take a souvenir. He carefully pried a couple of bricks loose from the sidewalk and replaced them with plain ones. He later learned that the unusual bricks had been laid at the turn of the century as a reminder to citizens of the tumbleweed town that they could reduce the spread of tuberculosis by not spitting on the ground.

Roberts wrapped up his brick and placed it in his suitcase. It then traveled with him over his remaining days in Texas, and eventually, on a plane to his family’s home in Seattle.

He was proud of his unique souvenir and took care of it. He painted the stamped letters white to help them stand out and coated the brick in lacquer. It was a fantastic conversation starter and a sweet memory of his service in Texas.

But as the years passed, the brick became heavier and heavier. In a recent interview, Roberts described his change of heart.

“As time went on, it hit me (that) I’d stolen something. But I didn’t steal an object. I’d stolen a part of history from this town.”

The feelings became stronger during the 80’s and 90’s and for the last eight years he whispered these words every time he saw the brick. “I should really send that back.”

One Sunday in church, during a lesson on honesty, he knew he couldn’t wait any longer. Like all of us, Roberts confides there are several things in his life he cannot completely correct.

“So, I guess I finally realized I should rectify what I can,” he said. “We all do things, and at the time, we think they’re humorous or not harmful to anyone. But as we mature, we grow in understanding and see that some of our past actions haven’t been that noble. So we repent, make it right, do all we can and the Atonement takes over.”

With those words on his mind, Roberts finally wrapped the brick back up and with the help of the Internet, found an address for the city offices of Denison, Texas. But sending a 110-year-old bubble-wrapped brick by itself wasn’t enough. Roberts needed to write a letter, and the letter needed to ask for forgiveness.

To Whom It May Concern:

This may seem like an odd letter accompanying an old package. Let me explain. Forty years ago I had the privilege of serving in the state of Texas as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I spent a few days in Denison and was fascinated with the many neatly paved sidewalks featuring the “Don’t Spit on Sidewalk” logo. I determined that I needed one as a souvenir and helped myself to one, not thinking that my actions were a complete contradiction of who and what I represented. Over the years I have had occasional pangs of guilt, but while sitting in church this past Sunday and listening to a lesson on honesty I determined that now is the time to return the brick to its rightful owners. I do so with my full apologies for showing disrespect to the good people of Denison. I ask your forgiveness. I realize that the brick most likely cannot be returned to the previous place in the sidewalk in front of the house where I was staying at the time in 1973 (I don’t recall the address), but perhaps by placing it in a conspicuous place in your offices it will be a reminder that, in the end, honesty is the best policy. Thank you.

Kim G. Roberts

Some 1,200 miles away in Denison, city manager Robert Hanna was toiling away at another day. Not only was Hanna not in Texas in 1973 when the brick was stolen, he wasn’t even in his parents’ plans yet. Plus, the remaining “Don’t Spit on Sidewalk” bricks were long gone from Denison’s sidewalks and streets.

He’ll never forget the day the heavy box arrived.

“Mr. Hanna,” Cheryl Green called from her desk outside his office. “You need to come see this.” The brick was so well wrapped and packaged, Hanna said it wouldn’t have just survived a drop from a mail truck; one could have run it over.

The brick and letter stunned him. “In my world, this never happens,” Hanna explained. “This is a one in a million thing. We have street signs, stop signs, you name it, stolen all the time. Nothing comes back.”

Hanna could not stop thinking about the gesture from the former LDS missionary. “I think God uses people like this. And it speaks to this man’s character. It was such a trivial thing. But to carry that around,” Hanna hesitated a moment before adding a simple and subtle, “Wow.”

Though not a member of the same church, Hanna has great respect for the faith and is familiar with its teachings. “God uses people to send messages,” he said, and he knew the message Roberts needed to hear.

Ten days later, he sat at his desk and penned a letter on Denison letterhead.

Dear Dr. Roberts,

Is it not written in 2 Nephi 25:26, “And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins?”

Be at peace with yourself and your actions. By taking what wasn’t yours, you preserved a piece of Denison history that the city did not see fit to preserve many years ago. Thanks to you and your actions, we can hold a piece of our community’s history once again and display it with pride. Behold! God “worketh all things after the counsel of his own will” (Ephesians 1:11).

May the Lord bless you in all things and grant you peace.

Sincerely,

Robert Hanna

Back in Utah, Roberts was touched by the kind letter and filled with the peace he’d longed for. To him, it wasn’t just about a brick. It was about the pure principle of forgiveness.

When both humble men were asked what they hope people will remember about their inspiring story, their answers were nearly identical. It’s never too late to give up the bricks in our lives. And our loads become so much lighter when the bricks are back where they belong.

Even if it’s on a shelf in a small Texas town called Denison.

I found the article HERE:

Food for thought!

I love those quotes that make stop and think!
Good Night dear friends!

  

Building bridges

Great story...something to think about!
Good night dear friends!

The Farming Brothers

In days gone by, two brothers, Raul and Johan, who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 35 years of farming side-by-side in central Germany, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a single problem occurring.
However, one autumn, the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence between the two brothers.
One morning there was a knock on Raul's door. He opened it to find a man holding a carpenter's toolbox. 'I'm looking for a few days work,' Angelis said. 'Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there I could help with? Could I help you?'
'Yes,' answered Raul, extremely pleased to see Angelis the carpenter, 'I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother, Johan's farm. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber by the barn? I want you to build me a fence; an 8-foot fence, so I won't need to see Johan's place nor his face anymore.'
Angelis the carpenter said thoughtfully, 'I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you.'
Raul then left for the nearby town, Erfurt, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day. The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing, and hammering.
About sunset when Raul returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped. There was no fence there at all.
It was a bridge: a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other. A fine piece of work handrails and all, and the neighbor, his younger brother Johan, was coming across, his hand outstretched. 'You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done, 'Johan smiled.
The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each others hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. 'No, wait. Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you,' called Raul.
'I'd love to stay on,' Angelis murmured quietly, 'but, I have many more bridges to build.
Found story here:


 Got photo of bridge here:

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
Paul Boose

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
Catherine Ponder

"The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves."
Eric Hoffer

The Milkman Lesson

Ok, I realize this is a long story but I loved the Grandmother’s wisdom in it!  We need to all remember this wisdom….I won’t spoil it, I will tell it again to you after the story. Enjoy!

Angel on a Doorstep

When Ben delivered milk to my cousin's home that morning, he wasn't
his usual sunny self. The slight, middle-aged man seemed in no mood
for talking.
It was late November 1962, and as a newcomer to Lawndale, Calif., I
was delighted that milkmen still brought bottles of milk to
doorsteps. In the weeks that my husband, kids and I had been staying
with my cousin while house-hunting, I had come to enjoy Ben's jovial
repartee.
Today, however, he was the epitome of gloom as he dropped off his
wares from his wire carrier. It took slow, careful questioning to
extract the story from him. With some embarrassment, he told me two
customers had left town without paying their bills, and he would
have to cover the losses. One of the debtors owed only $10, but the
other was $79 in arrears and had left no forwarding address. Ben was
distraught at his stupidity for allowing this bill to grow so large.
"She was a pretty woman," he said, "with six children and another on
the way. She was always saying, 'I'm going to pay you soon, when my
husband gets a second job.' I believed her. What a fool I was! I
thought I was doing a good thing, but I've learned my lesson. I've
been had!"
All I could say was, "I'm so sorry."
The next time I saw him, his anger seemed worse. He bristled as he
talked about the messy young ones who had drunk up all his milk. The
charming family had turned into a parcel of brats.
I repeated my condolences and let the matter rest. But when Ben
left, I found myself caught up in his problem and longed to help.
Worried that this incident would sour a warm person, I mulled over
what to do. Then, remembering that Christmas was coming, I thought
of what my grandmother used to say: "When someone has taken from
you, give it to them, and then you can never be robbed."
The next time Ben delivered milk, I told him I had a way to make him
feel better about the $79.
"Nothing will do that," he said, "but tell me anyway."
"Give the woman the milk. Make it a Christmas present to the kids
who needed it."
"Are you kidding?" he replied. "I don't even get my wife a Christmas
gift that expensive."
"You know the Bible says, `I was a stranger and you took me in.' You
just took her in with all her little children."
"Don't you mean she took me in? The trouble with you is, it wasn't
your $79."
I let the subject drop, but I still believed in my suggestion. We'd
joke about it when he'd come. "Have you given her the milk yet?" I'd
say.
"No," he'd snap back, "but I'm thinking of giving my wife a $79
present, unless another pretty mother starts playing on my
sympathies."
Every time I'd ask the question, it seemed he lightened up a bit more.
Then, six days before Christmas, it happened. He arrived with a
tremendous smile and a glint in his eyes. "I did it!" he said. "I
gave her the milk as a Christmas present. It wasn't easy, but what
did I have to lose? It was gone, wasn't it?"
"Yes," I said, rejoicing with him. "But you've got to really mean it
in your heart."
"I know. I do. And I really feel better. That's why I have this good
feeling about Christmas. Those kids had lots of milk on their cereal
just because of me."
The holidays came and went. On a sunny January morning two weeks
later, Ben almost ran up the walk. "Wait till you hear this," he
said, grinning.
He explained he had been on a different route, covering for another
milkman. He heard his name being called, looked over his shoulder
and saw a woman running down the street, waving money. He recognized
her immediately -- the woman with all the kids, the one who didn't
pay her bill. She was carrying an infant in a tiny blanket, and the
woman's long brown hair kept getting in her eyes.
"Ben, wait a minute!" she shouted. "I've got money for you."
Ben stopped the truck and got out.
"I'm so sorry," she said. "I really have been meaning to pay you."
She explained that her husband had come home one night and announced
he'd found a cheaper apartment. He'd also gotten a night job. With
all that had happened, she'd forgotten to leave a forwarding
address. "But I've been saving," she said. "Here's $20 toward the
bill."
"That's all right," Ben replied. "It's been paid."
"Paid!" she exclaimed. "What do you mean? Who paid it?"
"I did."
She looked at him as if he were the Angel Gabriel and started to cry.
"Well," I asked, "what did you do?"
"I didn't know what to do, so I put an arm around her. Before I knew
what was happening, I started to cry, and I didn't have the foggiest
idea what I was crying about. Then I thought of all those kids
having milk on their cereal, and you know what? I was really glad
you talked me into this."
"You didn't take the $20?"
"Heck no," he replied indignantly. "I gave her the milk as a
Christmas present, didn't I?"
By Shirley Bachelder

"When someone has taken from you, give it to them, and then you can never be robbed."  ~ Somebody’s Grandma

Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness.

To your opponent: tolerance.

To your friend: your heart.

To a customer, service.

To all, charity.

To every child, a good example.

To yourself, respect.   ~ Oren Arnold

 

Lesson on Forgiveness

Today was one of the busiest days ever, and I just now finally sat down. I am so tired, I don’t dare write something… who knows what I would say?

Anyway, I did read the most incredible article today on Forgiveness, and thought that I would share that with you. Hope you enjoy it and remember the key to a good and free life… is forgiveness!

Good night!

http://jasonfwright.com/column/a-lesson-on-forgiveness-by-senator-malcolm-wallop.html

 

 

  “To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”    ~Robert Muller quotes

  “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”   ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness

I like this short story about forgiveness. Brings it right home! Now I will always think of a bag of potatoes when I don't forgive! Well, if it works...it is sure worth it! Night dear friends!

BAG OF POTATOES

One of my teachers had each one of us bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to class. For every person we'd refuse to forgive in our life, we were told to choose a potato, write on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag. Some of our bags, as you can imagine, were quite heavy.
We were then told to carry this bag with us everywhere for one week, putting it beside our bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to our desk at work.
The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear what a weight we were carrying spiritually, and how we had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget, and keep leaving it in embarrassing places.
Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty slime. This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for keeping our pain and heavy negativity! http://www.motivateus.com/stories/bag-of.htm

"Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and while that's true, it clearly is also a gift for ourselves!"

"Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."  ~ Unknown 

Tonight was our last marriage class

We have really enjoyed the 5 week marriage classes that we have been going to. I have mentioned some of things before that we have learned, but what I think was most important is... understanding and recognizing that men and women are different. We think differently, we communicate differently, we talk differently, we listen differently and that is the way we are suppose to be. That is the way we were created. The trick in marriage is to, not only pick the right person that makes you whole, but to also be patient and understanding in this journey... we call marriage. To not only hang in there throughout the years, but learn to have Joy in our Journey together. When things are going right in our marriages and we are truly one, there isn't a better feeling in the world. There is a great synergy that comes from truly being connected. Life is just better, when our marriages are good.

So tonight we discussed  how to take the things we learned and apply them in our lives.They say the best way to learn something is to internalize it, live it and then teach it. It is a healthier way to live...when we are happy in our marriages, it is healthier for our children , it gives them a stronger foundation, and us too!

So here are some of the points that we reviewed from the last 4 weeks...

Have weekly date nights ...it is vital to reconnect and just spend time with each other each week, life is busy it is important to take that time out together.

Pray together... working and praying together about your struggles, you decisions with life or the kids. There is a great bonding power when you kneel down and pray as a couple.

Check in's ....once a month sit down with each other and check in. Ask each other these two questions. What is it that I am doing well? What is it that I can improve on?  Be honest with each other and make sure that both of you feel safe to share your honest opinions.

Meet each other's needs...As a companion it is important to tell what you needs are, in order to be met, they have to first be known. If you strive to always fulfill your partner's needs, your's will automatically be filled. Put your companion's needs first. Be aware of what those needs are daily.

Be loyal...that is vital in a great marriage, be loyal in not only your actions, but also in your thoughts!

Understand the differences... we were not make alike, so be aware of those differences and be patient with them.

Say you are sorry... not forgiving someone is like taking a little bit of poison every day, and expecting the other person to die! Not forgiving someone hurts you more. It is not always that important to be right. Learn to say you are sorry and really mean it!

Take the time...how much time are we willing to put into our relationship as husband and wife? Where on the priority list does that fall? It is vital to take the time because marriage can either be the happiest experience in your life, or the most painful and miserable experience in your life. You will get out of it... just what you are willing to put into it!

Jeff and I have been married 29 years this June and believe it or not...we are still working at it EVERY DAY! It is hard, but he is the love of my life and I want to do all that I can to try and make it better. When I take my eye off that goal, then I see all the things he does that bug me, I remember all the hurtful things he has done or said. I forget all the good things we have done and accomplished together. Yes, focus is important in a marriage. I need to try and focus more on the good, be patient with our differences and remember why I wanted to marry him in the first place...because I knew he was the one for me! Our marriage has not been a fairy tale, but a real life drama good and bad, the goal is to have more good times and less bad times. That means work, and that is what this class reminded me of. I am truly grateful we attended it. Grateful for the teachers that spent so much time and effort in sharing all these things with us. Yes, life is good... and I need to remember that more often!

" The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."  ~ Therodore Hesburgh 
"And the same goes for the mother."~  Lynn Woodard

"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."
-- Dave Meurer

"One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not. Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly renewed. That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time."
-- David Mace

Why are choices so hard sometimes?

Tonight Jeff and I went to a Marriage/Relationships class at church. I was dragging my heels going, because it was Friday night... and I could have think of a million other things that I would have liked to be doing! Jeff kept encouraging me to go, and now I am so grateful that he did. First, I was able to see many dear friends that I hadn't seen in awhile, and that was great to catch up with them. Second, many of the things that were mentioned tonight hit home to me. Why are choices so hard at times?
I will mention some of the points that the speaker made tonight. During his presentation, there were a lot of people laughing and shaking their heads, so I do know, we weren't the only couple that struggled at times. Here are a few of my notes...

...each of you, need to bring your best to your marriage

...it is important that you do not bring or carry old stuff ( habits, thought patterns, abuse and etc ) into  your marriage. Some of your personal stuff from your past  you are going to need to get rid of, or you could ruin your relationship/marriage.

...you need to forgive and let go. Each time you hold onto a hurt or an injustice done to you and you refuse to forget it or forgive the person for it. You essentially are tying an anchor around your leg and throwing yourself overboard. Holding on to past grudges or problems, will sink your marriage.

...we need to remember as Men and Women, we are suppose to be different. We don't think alike, we process things differently, we are not suppose to be the same. We need to understand this and be very patient, and accepting of each other.

...we are headed for tougher times in the future! Is our marriage strong enough for what lies ahead? It is vital that we make it strong now...before we need it. Just like our muscles, we need to strengthen them before we are physically challenged. The time to prepare is before we need it!

...can we try a little harder, give a little more, forgive quicker, be more patient, demand a little less, and listen a little more?

...we need to be more like the Savior in our responses. When we are accused, we need to stop, think about it, and then ask ourselves BEFORE reacting ..."Did I do anything to make them think this of me?  Try to see it from the other person's perspective first. Think before we talk.

...if each of us would give a 150%, our marriages would be a lot happier. It is a lot of work, but soooo worth it!

It was a great reminder for us of the choices and things we need to do... to be a better, stronger and happier couple. I am glad I went tonight!

"When you almost obey a commandment, you almost receive a blessing!"

"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate." ~Barnett R. Brickner

"Life is to be enjoyed, not endured"   ~ Gordon B. Hinckley

Building Bridges

It has often been said, that family relationships can be the best or the worst in life. I wonder why that is? Maybe it is because you are so close to each other, and have shared so many things? Anyway, here is a good story and example for us all. Good night!

A Carpenter's Gift

Once upon a time two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side by side, sharing machinery, and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch.

Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding and it grew into a major difference, and finally it exploded into an exchange of bitter words followed by weeks of silence.

One morning there was a knock on John's door. He opened it to find a man with a carpenter's toolbox. "I'm looking for a few days work" he said.

"Perhaps you would have a few small jobs here and there. Could I help you?"

"Yes," said the older brother. "I do have a job for you. Look across the creek at that farm. That's my neighbor, in fact, it's my younger brother. Last week there was a meadow between us and he took his bulldozer to the river levee and now there is a creek between us. Well, he may have done this to spite me, but I'll go him one better. See that pile of lumber curing by the barn? I want you to build me a fence - an 8-foot fence - so I won't need to see his place anymore. Cool him down, anyhow."

The carpenter said, "I think I understand the situation. Show me the nails and the post-hole digger and I'll be able to do a job that pleases you."

The older brother had to go to town for supplies, so he helped the carpenter get the materials ready and then he was off for the day.

The carpenter worked hard all that day measuring, sawing, nailing.

About sunset when the farmer returned, the carpenter had just finished his job. The farmer's eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped.

There was no fence there at all. It was a bridge... a bridge stretching from one side of the creek to the other! A fine piece of work handrails and all - and the neighbor, his younger brother, was coming across, his hand outstretched.

"You are quite a fellow to build this bridge after all I've said and done."

The two brothers stood at each end of the bridge, and then they met in the middle, taking each other's hand. They turned to see the carpenter hoist his toolbox on his shoulder. "No, wait! Stay a few days. I've a lot of other projects for you," said the older brother.

"I'd love to stay on," the carpenter said, "but, I have many more bridges to build." ~Author Unknown

I should have used the bridge photo, from last nights post for this post...oh well!

"Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person against whom you hold these feelings but every day and every night of your life, they are eating at you."  ~ Norman Vincent Peale

"A chip on the shoulder is too heavy a piece of baggage to carry through life."  ~ John Hancock

A great thought for the day!

I just love it when I find a great story, with a great moral! I hope you haven't heard this one before. It is a bit long but soooooooooooo worth it! Enjoy!

The Duck & the Devil

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their
farm.   He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.
He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the
target.

Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck
square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to
see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said
nothing.   After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally,
let's wash the dishes' ',But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to
help in the kitchen.' Then she whispered to him, 'Remember the duck?'
So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go
fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Sally to help
make supper.' Sally just smiled and said, 'Well that's all right
because Johnny told me he wanted to help' She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several day of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he
finally couldn't stand it any longer.   He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You
see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because
I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let
Sally make a slave of you.'

Thought for the day and every day thereafter?

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done ...the things the devil keeps
throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ...whatever it is...You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for
forgiveness;   He not only forgives you, but He forgets.

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness."    ~ Robert Muller

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."  ~ Mahatma Gandhi

True Friendship!

 

STONE

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT  .
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND , ‘TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE’ .

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM. AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE: 'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE'

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?' THE FRIEND REPLIED
'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.  BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT'

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway."    ~ Jerome Cummings

"A faithful friend is the medicine of life."  ~Apocrypha

Lessons learned

I was grateful for the opportunity to be able to go to church today. It has been a while since I have been healthy enough to go. I am always thankful for the lessons that are taught, and only hope that I can use them and apply them in my life for the upcoming week. One of the lessons that I learned today.... was about repentance. It was about how often we handle repentance in our lives, even when we have been forgiven, we sometimes suffer more than we should. Why, because we refuse to forgive ourselves. I personally know this can happen, because I have been guilty of that myself. But when I heard this story it just hit home on how much unnecessary suffering we can put ourselves through, unnecessary is the key word here!

I hope when you read this (that like me), we will remember to take the time out to not only repent, when it is necessary... but also to remember to forgive ourselves. There are many wonderful things that can be given to us after true repentance...peace, happiness,compassion, wisdom and joy are some of them!

 "So many live with accusing guilt when relief is ever at hand. So many are like the immigrant woman who skimped and saved and deprived herself until, by selling all of her possessions, she bought a steerage-class ticket to America.

She rationed out the meager provisions she was able to bring with her. Even so, they were gone early in the voyage. When others went for their meals, she stayed below deck—determined to suffer through it. Finally, on the last day, she must, she thought, afford one meal to give her strength for the journey yet ahead. When she asked what the meal would cost, she was told that all of the meals had been included in the price of her ticket.

That great morning of forgiveness may not come at once. Do not give up if at first you fail. Often the most difficult part of repentance is to forgive yourself. Discouragement is part of that test. Do not give up. That brilliant morning will come."  ~ Boyd K. Packer

"The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come.  At the darkest moment comes the light."  ~Joseph Campbell

"I will love the light for it shows me the way.  Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars."  ~Og Mandino 

"Some who have spent a long winter of guilt and spiritual starvation emerge into the morning of forgiveness."    ~ Boyd K. Packer