Today our house was full of people, laughter and fun, quite unlike how it has been the past month or so. I am sure it is because all of our kids were together, that doesn't happen often but when it does it seems to liven every thing up. Our oldest son Brad and his bride-to-be, came in last night from Idaho and they got to stay a day with us before heading to her Dad's home in Yakima for Thanksgiving. It does my heart good as a mom to see all my kids together, laughing and happy. The house was noisy and full... just the way I like it.
It was hard watching everyone head out the door today for church without me. I wanted to go so bad but the pain in my arm and arm pit is so sore that it is all I can do to stand clothes on it. I carry my pillow or an ice pack with me where ever I go. I couldn't wait till they all came home, shared with me what they learned and then we just got to hang out together. I was extra tired (not because I did anything) but I didn't want to lay down and miss a minute of them being here.
Krystal's dad came to pick them up at 4:30pm and I cried as I said good bye to them. That is another thing that happens when a crisis hits our lives like this...it makes me homesick for all my kids to be with me. I miss having Brad and Krystal close and although we will see them in just 4 short weeks until their wedding, it still wasn't any easier to say good bye. After they left at least Amy and Angie hung out with us for a little longer before they headed home. By 7:00pm it was just the four of us again and we just stayed together and talked and tried to think of fun things that we could do this week for Thanksgiving, since we will be by ourselves. Isn't it funny, we feel like with just the 4 of us that we are so lonely. But when Jeff and I had just Amy and Brad we thought we had a big family, but once you go from 6 to 4 it seems really lonely and different.
We also discussed tonight what changes we are going to have to make over the Christmas holidays so that I don't over do it and can take the opportunity to really rest, so we can all be prepared for the wedding (which is just 2 days after Christmas). One of the biggest events we do and LOVE is our Annual Neighborhood Open House, this would have been our 12th year I believe. Since all of our family lives else where,we have tried very hard to make our Neighbors and Friends part of our Family and we get so excited every year to host that event in our home. Even our neighbors from our old neighborhood come and we feel the quote that says...THE ORNAMENT OF A HOUSE IS THE FRIENDS WHO FREQUENT IT is sooooooo true! It just starts our Holiday season off right when our home is full of our neighbors and friends. Now with all that has transpired in the last month or so and with all the healing that I need to do ...we are going to have to miss our Annual Open House and I am sad. I know that everyone will understand under the circumstances but... I sure wish things were different!
I go back to the Doctor tomorrow morning for another Post Op visit with my surgeon, hopefully she will take out my drain and be able to tell me why my arm is hurting so bad. Maybe this is normal but it doesn't really feel that way to me. I have a very high pain tolerance but between my MONO and this, I don't feel like doing hardly anything. I did leave the Christmas music on today all day and that did seem to help a bit and I did let 2 people come into my home and see me so...I am taking BABY STEPS, that is about all I can do right now. I think that many of my friends are surprised that I am not bouncing back quicker than I usually do with other things but, this has been such a much bigger thing that I have ever dealt with and believe me there is no one that wants the other LYNN to come back any more than me. I do feel like however that the old Lynn is gone and there will be a new Lynn that will surface here soon...hopefully a more determined, more faithful and a wiser Lynn!
I will close with a few quotes that Jeff and I looked up tonight. I know that he too is waiting and hoping for ME to return, he has been a wonderful cheering partner for me. Most of our married Life he has done that for me, what a blessing it is has been to be married to him.
Once again, thanks for your love, prayers and concern, you do mean the world to me, and I will be able to make the necessary changes with friends and family like you!
JUST BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT, DOESN'T MEAN THAT EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED --Irene Peter
THE IMPORTANT THING IS THIS; TO BE ABLE AT ANY MOMENT TO SACRIFICE WHAT WE ARE FOR WHAT WE COULD BECOME -----------Charles Dubois
I CANNOT SAY WHETHER THINGS WILL GET BETTER IF WE CHANGE; WHAT I CAN SAY IS THEY MUST CHANGE IF THEY ARE TO GET BETTER -----------Charles Licthtenburg
ALL I HAVE SEEN TEACHES ME TO TRUST THE CREATOR FOR ALL I HAVE NOT SEEN ----Ralph Waldo Emerson
I especially like the last quote. You are an amazing person Lynn and this will take time but I truly believe that you can do this! And I also believe that you are helping others as you make this journey.
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