Thursday, November 27, 2008

A better day!

I was determined to make today better than yesterday, I got up and got ready so that I could do some things with Jeff and the kids today. Jeff was off work and the kids got off early from school, so we were able to do a few errands before my energy ran out. I actually went into a couple of stores and it felt good to be among people again and I noticed that I wasn't as self conscience as I was a couple of days ago. Of course I also had on a thick, poofy vest so you probably wouldn't have noticed anything any way, but still I wasn't as self conscience so...that was good.

Of course after my big 1 1/2 hour outing I was down for the count the rest of the day but...I felt a bit better today, spirit wise and physically and for that I am very grateful. Pain is an interesting teacher, one that is unwelcome many times and harsh and yet some of the greatest lessons seem to come from it. I read a quote the other day that went like this...
"THERE IS NOT A SINGLE CONDITION OF LIFE THAT IS ENTIRELY UNECESSARY, THERE IS NOT ONE HOUR'S EXPERIENCE BUT WHAT IS BENEFICIAL TO ALL THOSE WHO MAKE IT THEIR STUDY; AND AIM TO IMPROVE UPON THE EXPERIENCE THEY GAIN."

I have always believed that and have shared it  with others when I have counseled with them. I express to them that they can handle whatever they are going through or it wouldn't be given to them. I have always said that things happen for a reason and I still think that is true. But if they ask the question "WHY?" I still don't have the answer and if it is the same way that it happens in my life, many times I don't know why things happened until LONG after the fact. Time gives you a much better perspective of things and an understanding too. I think it was Jeff who said to me the other night that he wishes we could fast forward to 6 months from now and see all the things that we learned and how much stronger and faithful we have become because of all of it. So true, I know some how some way, that I will beat this cancer and the knowledge and experience that I will have gained from it will be priceless. It is just holding on and getting to that place that is usually painful and long. I have heard it said that ...

"HISTORY HAS DEMONSTRATED THAT THE MOST NOTABLE WINNERS USUALLY ENCOUNTERED HEARTBREAKING OBSTACLES BEFORE THEY TRIUMPHED. THEY WON BECAUSE THEY REFUSED TO BECOME DISCOURAGED BY THEIR DEFEATS"

Here it is 2 weeks since my surgery and I have to admit that I do feel better than I did this same time 2 weeks ago. I tried to think of things that I have to be grateful for, on this Thanksgiving Eve and I did! I am grateful that I was able to have my surgery at a time when my sister-in-law could come and help out our family, had it been a week or so later she wouldn't have been able to come. I am grateful that I only had to have a single mastectomy, I am grateful it was on my left and not my right...since I am right handed. I am grateful that Jeff's work was so great to let him be with me whenever I needed him. I am grateful we had insurance. I am grateful for the chance to live in this free country, to live in Washington to have so many dear neighbors and friends. Grateful to have Jeff and the kids and grateful to be alive, yes even though this Thanksgiving will be a different one, a more quite one, I am sure it will be one that we never forget. I pray that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and can come up with your own GRATITUDE list.

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