A Bigger Than Me Day!

Today I went to a Public Pool with Amy and the girls. It was fun being with them but as always it is tough to be in a bathing suit. I remember after I had my mastectomy, I thought I would never put on a suit again...then 3 years ago, I started Weight Watchers and lost 21 lbs. I felt better about my weight and thought that I possible could get the courage up to get back in a swimsuit. And I did, with my sweet Lauren by my side. She promised me that if my prosthetic fell out, she would just go get it for me! Now that is a good daughter.
Then for the past few years I have had pneumonia and so my Doctor asked me to stop swimming during the winter and flu seasons. I also have been going through Menopause and my body is changing once again and not in the way I would like it to.
 So this year, I decided to take a different approach for my health, thank goodness it is working and since July... I have been pretty healthy. Oh, I have had the flu and a cold every now and then but so far... I haven't had pneumonia. So I decided that I needed to get back in the pool this Spring, regardless of what I thought I looked like.
I have gone twice with a friend of mine, that has been fun but yet... I still struggle when I have to get into a swimsuit again. The mastectomy took much more that just my breast, it took alot of muscle and tissue out and so in a suit, it is much more noticable that I had surgery than when I have regular clothes on. When I decided to get back to the pool, I had to go to a special place to buy the swiming prosthetic and that was costly,  but the special swimsuit was even more. I have to admit that it sure seems that it costs a lot of money to have anything made special for your Cancer. I really don't like that, don't like the fact that someone is making money off of people who have this terrible disease. I can't even imagine how hard it is for women who don't have very good insurance or insurance at all! Doesn't seem quite fair doe it?
My dear friend who has had a lot more physical limitations, more than I have ever had; was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and had a mastectomy about a year ago,  and she has done it with such grace and courage... that I am ashamed to say that I have not been near as brave as her.
So today when I came home from swimming and feeling pretty sad for myself, I thought about her and felt ashamed that I even complained at all. I have so many things to be grateful for and I had the whole day with my sweet daughter and 3 beautiful and healthy granddaughters. I have many friends, who just wish they could have grandchildren.
And I am healthier than I have been in years... so I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and be very, very grateful for all my blessings!
With that said, I will get up in the morning and go back to the pool and try again! And I will be grateful for the chance to get up and have another day!
 I will also remember so many of my dear friends who have passed away from Cancer, and realize in their honor... I need to be grateful for every single day and make the most of it!
Today was just a Bigger Than Me Day, and I just needed to say that outloud and get to bed. Tomorrow will be another Beautiful Day and a GIFT!!!

Good Night dear friends!

I'm not the only ONE!

Hey after reading this article... I realized how great I felt that there are others ( ok an elephan:) that can benifit from having a prosthetic like me. Actually, I felt blessed that I am happy ...even though I am different that others.
found the article HERE:

Then I saw this story about the Pink dophin and that made me smile. I love the uniqueness of it, it is different but beautiful in it's own way.
Look at this dolphin HERE:

Hmmm...thinking there is a lesson here. To be grateful for what we have, to be happy. Be yourself, believe in yourself, and to do as Mother Theresa said...

"Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house... let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting." 

So true!
Good Night dear friends!


Look at this photo HERE:

Just to let you know.

You might have noticed on the right hand of my blog, a new button that looks like this below...or at least the writing part on the right below...Mandie and Me Designs. When I was invited to go to the Quilt Market this year, I thought I should really have a blog that shows my creations and the demos and samples that I do for the shop. So Mandie and Me Designs was created, (with the help of an incredibly talented friend, ok... she did do almost all of it!)

Now many of you that read my blog know who Mandie is. She is the name of my prosthetic. I decided to name her, mine as well make it fun. She and I have to be together every day, and so I thought it would be more than perfect to put her name in on my blog with me. Why? Well, because just 2 years ago, after finishing treatments for my cancer, and healing from that and the mastectomy...I went to be fitted for a prosthetic. I thought back then, it really doesn't matter what it looks like, I am never going to go out among people again any way.

I was so worried that everyone would stare and think that I was a freak. Interesting though...I believe that to this day, I was the only one who thought that. But that is exactly what it felt like to me. I remember well, my daughters and daughter- in -law trying to convince me... of how beautiful I still was to them and how I desperately needed to get rid of all my scarf's and turtlenecks. I was trying to cover up, and they were trying to help me realize my true beauty...mastectomy and all.

So you see without sweet Mandie, I probably wouldn't go out each day and feel half way normal. She and I go everywhere, she makes me feel whole. She makes me feel happy and because of those feelings, I am back to creating again and even teaching! Yes, Mandie and I both!  :)

I hope you will take a minute to check out my new blog and remember...it is still a bit of work in progress. I am slow on getting all of the little bugs out of it. So let me know what you think?

Good night dear friends!

 

"Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant."  ~ Maya Angelou 

"My cancer scare changed my life.  I'm grateful for every new, healthy day I have. It has helped me prioritize my life."  ~Olivia Newton-John

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."  ~ George Bernard Shaw