I love Sundays!

I love Sundays because they spiritually  recharge me for the week. Today the lessons that I learned were about parenthood, a great reminder of the things we need to do with our children and grandchildren. Here are some of my notes...

"The most important work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home" ~ Harold B. Lee

1. ...Make sure that we as parents are at the crossroads for our kids when they are coming and going, when they leave and return from school, when they leave or return from dates, when they bring friends home. Always be there at the crossroads!
2.  ...Take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk to them, laugh and joke with them, sing with them, play with them, cry with them, hug them, honestly praise them. Regularly spend one on one time with each child. Be a real friend to your children. 
3. ...Take time to read to your children. Starting from the cradle, read to your sons and daughters. … You will plant a love for good literature and a real love for the scriptures if you will read to your children regularly.
4. ...Take time to pray with your children. Hold family prayers morning and night. Have your children feel of your faith as you call down the blessings of heaven upon them. … Have your children participate in family and personal prayers.
5. ...Take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening. Have your children actively involved. Teach them correct principles. Make this one of your family traditions. …
6. ...Take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible. This is a challenge as the children get older and lives get busier. But happy conversation, sharing of the day’s plans and activities, and special teaching moments occur at mealtime because parents and children work at it.
7. ...Take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family. … Reading will bring increased spirituality into your home and will give both parents and children the power to resist temptation. It will change the lives of your family.
8. ... Take time to do things as a family. Make family outings and picnics and birthday celebrations and trips special times and memory builders. Whenever possible, ...attend, as a family, events where one of the family members is involved, such as a school play, a ball game, a talk, a recital. ...Attend Church meetings together.
9. ...Take time to teach your children. Catch the teaching moments at mealtime, in casual settings, or at special sit-down times together, at the foot of the bed at the end of the day, or during an early-morning walk together. …
10. A mother and Father's love and prayerful concern for their children are the most important ingredients in teaching them. Teach children gospel principles. Teach them it pays to be good. Teach them there is no safety in sin. Teach them a love for the gospel of Jesus Christ and a testimony of its divinity.
11. ...Teach your sons and daughters modesty, and teach them to respect their bodies. To have respect for other's modesty also.
12. ...Teach them a love for work and the value of a good education.
13. ...Teach them the importance of the right kind of entertainment, including appropriate movies, videos, music, books, and magazines. Discuss the evils of pornography and drugs, and teach them the value of living the clean life.
14. ...Take the time to truly love your little children. Love your children like the Savior does.

Good night dear friends!

What an Adventure!

I knew when I got to become a Mother of 4 kids, that life was not going to be easy, and that probably it would be quite an adventure to raise them all! Still there were overwhelming days, and then there were days of pure GRATITUDE that I was blessed to be called their Mother.  I have always loved being a MOM, I realize...not every woman gets that oppourtunity and so I try not to complain too often. But yesterday was one of those days that I felt so helpless in so many ways with my kids. Three out of 4 of them were quite sick and we don't live close to them, so it is very hard to see them sick, hurt or scared and be this far way. Still I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who loves them as much ( actually I am sure MORE ) than I do, and so last night with a heavy heart. I prayed that my kids ( each in their own situation  ) would be watched over and comforted! Yes, Motherhood isn't easy...especially on your heart!
"A Mother thinks about her Children day and night, even if they are not with her and will love them in a way they will never understand."
 Since I didn't sleep much last night I am going to head to bed early. Good night dear friends!

"Out of all the Moments in my Life...the ones I SPENT WITH YOU are my most Favorite!"

"Having somewhere to go is HOME. Having someone to love is FAMILY. Having both is a BLESSING!"

99 Balloons

 A dear friend of mine, showed me this youtube today called 99 Balloons.
It was an endearing video, and was the perfect example of the depth of a parents love.
Hope you enjoy it... get your tissues ready!
You can watch it HERE:


 “What it's like to be a parent: It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love.”
― Nicholas Sparks
 “When you look into your mother’s eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth.”
― Mitch Albom

Still learning

   It seems to me, that just when you think you have something figured out in your life, then boom...something goes wrong, or something changes; and you have to try to figure out a totally different way to handle the situation. I guess that is what parenthood is all about. You sorta think  you have figured out how to raise, teach or handle one of your children, and then you have another one and they are totally different. What you did with them may not be the thing to do for the next child, so as parents you realize you are STILL LEARNING with each child and each situation! It doesn't really get easier, it is just gets different. What technique worked for one, won't work for the other and so once again... you are back to square one.
   I have to admit, that even though I am so totally lost at times on what to do, I am very grateful that I can go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and receive that answer. Not always is it immediate, not always is it even what I prayed for; but always I know beyond a shadow of a doubt ...that it is exactly what the Lord wants me to experience at the time. I also know there is always a lesson closely entwined in this problem or trial. The hardest part is to be patient and worthy to hear that still small voice.
   Yes, when my kids were small I thought I would never survive all the physical demands that came with that age, then as teenagers I thought I would never survive the attitudes and mouthing that come with that age; and now as a Mother of older children, I wonder if I will survive the heartaches and struggles that they go through? The consequences seems sooooooooooo much bigger now.
   Still I know where I can find the peace that I need, and that is down on my knees.  It is in the scriptures that I need to read and search more diligently. Being a parent is a tough job, but at least I know it is one where I will never get bored...because I will always still be learning! :)
Good night dear friends.

P.S. Maybe that is why being a Grandparent is so much easier!

Memorial Day / Birthday!

Today is my daughter Amy's birthday! Yes, she was born on Memorial Day, she was our first and we couldn't imagine how much love this 10LB 10Z dark haired girl could bring into our lives. Even though we were brand new parents, and didn't have a clue what to do, we were so in love with her ...it didn't matter. Some how we figured out all the baby details, and we absolutely loved every minute of it.
Now I look at this beautiful blonde haired woman and realize, not only is she a dear friend of mine, but my daughter too! How lucky could a Mother be?  She is now a Mother too, and so the generations have begun and I feel blessed.

I also feel blessed when I think of all the men and women ( and their families ), who have served... and now serve our country. Words cannot not express the gratitude we feel! How glad I am that we have this wonderful holiday to remember and honor them by.

Hope you and your family had a wonderful Memorial Day!

It is the Soldier

(Charles M. Province)

It is the soldier, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the soldier,
who salutes the flag, who
serves under the flag, and whose coffin is
draped by the flag, who allows the
protester to burn the flag."

"Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation and freedom in all just pursuits."

"Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."  ~Larry Lorenzoni

Choices and feeling PEACE!

Today in church we talked about feeling peace in your life and what choices we are making. One of the speakers mentioned that in order to feel peace in her life, she had to really look at the choices she was making and the priorities of those choices. 

Here are some of the notes that I took down, and part of the article that the speakers were referring too. It was a great reminder to me, (even though our youngest is a senior in High School) to take time out to do the BEST things with him right now,  and of course spending time with our granddaughters... is one of the BEST things too.

"As we consider various choices, we should remember that it is not enough that something is good. Other choices are better, and still others are best. Even though a particular choice is more costly, its far greater value may make it the best choice of all.

Consider how we use our time in the choices we make in viewing television, playing video games, surfing the Internet, or reading books or magazines. Of course it is good to view wholesome entertainment or to obtain interesting information. But not everything of that sort is worth the portion of our life we give to obtain it. Some things are better, and others are best.

Some of our most important choices concern family activities. Many breadwinners worry that their occupations leave too little time for their families. There is no easy formula for that contest of priorities. However, I have never known of a man who looked back on his working life and said, “I just didn’t spend enough time with my job.”

I loved this story...

In choosing how we spend time as a family, we should be careful not to exhaust our available time on things that are merely good and leave little time for that which is better or best. A friend took his young family on a series of summer vacation trips, including visits to memorable historic sites. At the end of the summer he asked his teenage son which of these good summer activities he enjoyed most. The father learned from the reply, and so did those he told of it. “The thing I liked best this summer,” the boy replied, “was the night you and I laid on the lawn and looked at the stars and talked.” Super family activities may be good for children, but they are not always better than one-on-one time with a loving parent.

The amount of children-and-parent time absorbed in the good activities of private lessons, team sports, and other school and club activities also needs to be carefully regulated. Otherwise, children will be over scheduled, and parents will be frazzled and frustrated. Parents should act to preserve time for family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and the other precious togetherness and individual one-on-one time that binds a family together and fixes children’s values on things of eternal worth. Parents should teach gospel priorities through what they do with their children.

Family experts have warned against what they call “the over scheduling of children.”

The number of those who report that their “whole family usually eats dinner together” has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spends together “eating meals at home [is] the strongest predictor of children’s academic achievement and psychological adjustment.” Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children’s smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you."

http://lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/good-better-best?lang=eng&query=Dallin+H.+Oaks+Good+Better+Best

“Work at our responsibility as parents as if everything in life counted on it, because in fact everything in life does count on it.”  ~ Gordon B. Hinckley

"Peace will become our priceless possession"  ~ Marvin J. Ashton

"Make sure that the essential needs are met, but do not go overboard in creating so many good things to do that the essential ones are not accomplished. … Remember, don’t magnify the work to be done—simplify it.”             ~ L. Tom Perry

Children...priceless!

When my kids were little and we were all out at the store, sometimes a woman would come up to me and ask me what the name of my Day Care was? I was confused? Then they would go on talking about how they would like to put their kids in a Day Care, where the people would take their kids out on field trips ...like I was doing. I then told them that all these ( 4 ) children were mine...their eyes about popped out of their heads and then they just walked away, or might have said how cute they thought the kids were. Now obviously this was on one of those days ...where everyone was being nice and happy, not all of them were like that (shocker). I just smiled because no one could believe that we actually wanted four kids, they just thought we didn't know how to stop having them. How I wish I would have had this article, on the Price of Children to give to them...now that would have been priceless!

The Price of Children

This is just too good not to pass on to all. Something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice, The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

· $8,896.66 a year,
· $741.3 month, or * $171.08 a  week.
· That's a mere $24.24 a day!
· Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be "rich." Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140?

• Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
• Glimpses of God every day.
• Giggles under the covers every night.
• More love than your heart can hold.
• Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
• Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
• A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
• A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
• Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:

• finger-paint,
• carve pumpkins,
• play hide-and-seek,
• catch lightning bugs, and
• never stop believing in Santa Claus. You have an excuse to:
• keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
• watching Saturday morning cartoons,
• going to Disney movies, and
• wishing on stars.
• You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

• retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
• taking the training wheels off a bike,
• removing a splinter,
• filling a wading pool,
• coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the:

· first step,
· first word,
· first bra,
· first date, and
· first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits.

So . . one day they will like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/pricechildren.htm

Moral of this is...to love and enjoy your children and grandchildren

"Kids go where there is excitement. They stay where there is love."  ~ Zig Ziglar

"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today."   ~Stacia Tauscher

Heart Prints

Today was beautiful, sunny ( yes sunny) and very cold. Jeff and I decided to do our DATE today, instead of tonight. I think he knew that I needed to get out of the house, it is just too quite and lonely around here. Lee went to basketball practice and like I mentioned before, Lauren left to head back to college last night, so we definitely trying to adjust, once again. I feel like some times in life, that is all we do ... ADJUST to our new baby, ADJUST to our new job, ADJUST our time, now that we are grandparents, and on and on. Yes, there always seems to be something that we have to ADJUST to, and some times, that isn't as easy as it looks.

I loved this poem tonight. It really sums up what life is like, when we take time out of our busy schedules to leave HEART PRINTS. While I was in a store today, the sales clerk asked me a question about something, and then one thing lead to another, she asked me for my Motivational Blog address, then she shared with me some of the struggles that she had been through. When I left, I felt better. I felt like I had made a new friend, and that is what I believe these HEART PRINTS are all about. Taking time out of our busy schedules, to stop and connect with someone, yes it makes a huge difference in your life when you do...try it sometime!
Go on, get out there and leave a few HEART PRINTS of your own this year.

By Author Unknown

Whatever our hands touch...we leave
fingerprints on.
On walls, on furniture, on door knobs,
dishes and books.
As we touch we leave our identity..
Oh please where ever I go today...
help me leave heart prints.
Heart prints of compassion,
understanding and love.
Heart prints of kindness and genuine concern.
May my heart touch a lonely neighbor...
or a runaway daughter...
or an anxious mother...
or perhaps a dear friend!
I shall go out today...
to leave heart prints...
and if some one should say...
"I felt your touch!
May that one sense YOUR LOVE
Touching them through ME!

"When  you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."  ~ Peace Pilgrim

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.'  ~Anne Frank

"I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again."  ~William Penn

Love at Home

I know that I am suppose to share a Christmas story with you but tonight I think I am going to share a short Christmas poem instead. Why? Because I read this other poem about Family life, and it touched me so much, I felt like I should share it. So I hope you can enjoy them both! Good night dear friends!

Christmas gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.   ~ Oren Arnold

FAMILY

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.
He said, 'Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you.'
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
'While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue..
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said.
'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'
He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'
I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way..'
He said, 'Oh, MOM, that's okay.
I love you anyway.'
I said, 'Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'

"The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him."  ~ Pablo Casals

"Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them."  ~ Richard L. Evans  ( this is a great quote to remember as we prepare, for the holidays! )

 

REVELATION

Today at church I gave a talk. Some have asked if I would share it on my blog and so I will. I love being asked to speak because I learn so much when I study, pray and research out a certain subject.
My topic was WHAT IS REVELATION? I started out by sharing a personal story. It's a bit long to read, but I hope you enjoy it!

When Brad was in the 4th grade he began to struggle a bit, he got teased about the things he didn't have, about the type of clothing he wore ( which weren't brand names), why he didn't have certain movies or games. As we worked on helping Brad to learn to hold his own and be grateful for what he had, I still prayed that he somehow would feel like he fit in or at least know that he was enough.
Then Basketball season came, and I was excited because Brad loved basketball and was a very good little athlete, I was hoping this was the place where he would fit in. For one reason or another the boys on the team, didn’t really gel that well together, and so one of the Mothers came up with the idea that we should get the boys together and do something fun. I was all for it, until she told us that they were going to do a sleep over.
All the Mom’s were in agreement of the Sleep Over …except me.  Jeff and I had come to the realization that we did not want our kids to ever do sleep overs . That became a rule in our home and really up until that point, none of the kids ever fought about it. I tried to explain to the other Mothers, that Brad would not be there because of our family Rule, I could not believe the pressure that I felt as a Mom and an adult, to have Brad come…just this once.
Well, even with that pressure and the pressure of Brad begging when he found out, I felt like I was in a really tough spot as a Mom. I got on my knees and pleaded my case to the Lord, I asked him if I was being too protective? Should we let Brad go just this once? Was this rule too strict, and were we going to ruin our children’s chance of having fun childhood memories? The questions went on and one, finally when I stop talking and started listening, it was then that the answer came loud and clear and yet very simple…YOU HAVE ALREADY MADE THIS DECISION!
Now, I am here to tell you that the pressure didn’t get any better, actually on Friday it got worse because a couple of different Mothers started calling me. They assured  me that the boys would be well supervised and wouldn’t be allowed to stay up too late. Brad came home sad from school, because he was the ONLY boy on the team NOT going. Yes, that was a terrible weekend to say the least.
Monday morning came, and Brad and I both were worried I think about the pressure that was going to be on him from not going. I sent him off with a silent prayer in my heart that somehow, he would be ok. Later that day Jeff called me from work, he asked me if I had seen the paper?  I hadn’t and so he said hurry and go get one or borrow one from the neighbor. I was shocked when I opened the paper up and there on the front cover was an article and the title was  7 BOYS MOLESTED AT A SLEEP OVER IN KIRKLAND! Yes, this was the very same sleep over that Brad was invited to!
I had a million emotions that went through me as I read the paper and cried…
Sorrow … for the boys that had been abused
Anger… at the Mom’s that had put so much pressure on me
Guilt …that I doubted our Family Rule
Gratitude …that the Lord had revealed to me, that I was on the right path, and that Brad had been kept safe!

SO WHAT IS REVELATION?  Revelation is communication from God to man. It can occur in many different ways.
In its more familiar forms, revelation or inspiration comes by means of words or thoughts communicated to the mind,  by sudden enlightenment, by positive or negative feelings about proposed courses of action, or even by inspiring performances, as in the performing arts.
“INSPIRATION COMES MORE AS A FEELING THAN AS A SOUND.”
Years ago I heard one of my Bishops, give a talk about this very subject of Revelation, and he quoted from a talk given by Brother Dallan H. Oaks. It impressed me so much that I wrote those notes right in my scriptures and I read it often.
In this talk he mentions that there are 8 purposes of revelation. He also mentions that he hopes by talking about these purposes that we will all recognize the extent to which we have already received revelation or inspiration and resolve to cultivate this spiritual gift for more frequent use in the future.
Here are the 8 purposes…
1. To Testify… to testify or witness of  the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ and that your Heavenly Father lives. 
2. To Prophecy…Speaking under the influence of the Holy Ghost and within the limits of his or her responsibility, a person may be inspired to predict what will come to pass in the future.
3. To comfort… to comfort us in the loss of  a loved one, you may feel their presence with you, comfort and assurance your sins are forgiven.
4. To uplift… this feeling of uplift raises our spirits and can also help us resist evil and seek for the good. This can also be done by reading the scriptures or listen to good music and through the art.
5. To inform…. This may be that the person is given the words to say in a particular situation. Some occasions this sacred information has been given face to face from Heavenly Personages. Or it could be that you have lost something, and are guided to find it.
6.To restrain… this is to restrain us from doing something. It is one of the most common forms of revelation. It often comes by surprise. If we are obedient it will steer us away from the things we should not do.
7. To confirm…this is a common way to seek revelation to propose a particular course of action and then pray for inspiration to confirm it. But we must do our homework. There is a balance between agency and inspiration. We’re expected to use the gifts and talents and abilities, the sense and judgement and agency with which we are endowed
8. To impel…. to impel one to action. This is when revelation comes when it is not being sought and compels one to action that may have not been proposed. It is more rare but..also more significant!
I am so grateful for personal revelation in my life…
It is through revelation, that I knew as a child, in the middle of an abusive situation, that my Heavenly Father was there and that He would help me make it through that part of of my life
It is through revelation, that I knew that I should serve a full time mission
It is through  revelation, that I was told that Jeff was indeed the one I was to marry
It was through revelation, that I knew how to mother and protect each one of my kids
It was through revelation, that I found my cancer the first time and was told to go and seek medical help
It was through revelation, that I found comfort in the loss of my mother
It was through revelation, that I was given strength and direction on dealing with cancer for the second time
It was through revelation, that I have been able to overcome the many feelings of inadequacy in my life.
It was through revelation, that I was told not to worry about the numbers of days that I would live, but to live each one to the fullest!
I am eternally grateful for this safety net the Lord has provided for us. I pray that each day I will live worthy to have and use this gift.  I don’t know why anyone would want to go throughout their life …without it. I bear testimony that Heavenly Father has not left us here to be on our own, that through personal revelation we can communicate with him. That through revelation given to a living prophet, we can be guided through this turbulent times. 
I love this quote that bests sums up my feelings on this subject... 

“The Spirit of the Holy Ghost is the greatest guarantor of inward peace in an unstable world…it will calm nerves; it will breath peace to our souls…it can enhance our natural senses so that we can see more clearly, hear more keenly and remember what we should remember. It is a way of maximizing our happiness."  ~James E. Faust

Sweet little children!

Lauren had the opportunity the other day to photograph our dear friend's new little baby boy! Is he cute or what? I love the baby photos that she does. I am always amazed at how incredible these little spirits are, that come to earth. It is such a huge responsibility to teach and love them, but oh soooooo worth it!

"Children are the world's most valuable resource and its best hope for the future"  ~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them." ~ Richard L. Evans

 

 

"The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him."    ~ Pablo Casals 

I love that quote, I believe... that is probably what my grandmother meant, when she used to always say to me  "Lynn, I think God threw away the mold when you were born!"  I actually think Pablo's quote, sounds a bit more positive!  :)

"While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."

"Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make for our children."  ~ Sitting Bull

Where did the years go?

Twenty seven years ago I was in the hospital having my first baby. The Doctors didn't do many ultra-sounds then and so they were guessing it was a boy. I however was privileged to know all my kids before they were born. I had told them all along it was Amy coming, they begged to differ. At one last appointment the nurse said "Mrs. Woodard, I hope you aren't going to be disappointed, because by listening to your baby's heart beat we are almost for sure it is going to be a boy" then she added "and I think it is going to be a big boy at that!" My confident remark was " Well, I hope he is going to be real big so that he can defend himself, because we are going to name him Amy!"

I went into labor on Sunday morning and by that evening we thought Amy would be here. No such luck, I had the labor pains and contractions go off and on for over 20 some hours. Around 2:30pm the doctor comes in and tells us that he thinks the baby is just too big. After a few more exams they realized that the baby was no where in sight. After explaining all the options to us (which weren't many) he said " I think you are going to have to have a C-section." I was so upset, one because he was a jerk of a Doctor and was so rude to us, he was put out because he had to deliver this baby on Memorial Day and he had planned to go golfing, plus I was upset to have major surgery. I had never been in a hospital for overnight at all. I was terrified, we went to all the Lamaze classes and this isn't how we planned it. The last straw was when they told me that they would cut me from hip bone to hip bone for the C-section, I cried...scared yes plus, I never even got one stretch mark and now I would have this enormous scar. ( I soon realized later that would be the least of my worries.)

They put me asleep for the surgery, so around 3:30pm or so, I remember Jeff trying to wake me up to tell me that I was right, it was Amy. He then told me she weighed 10 lbs 1oz and had lots of dark hair! I was thinking that maybe he is the one that had the drugs... how could I have a 10 lb baby, isn't that consider a toddler? Plus, where did the dark hair come from, we were both blondes?

 

Next thing I knew they put this huge beautiful baby in my arms and I was amazed. After imagining for 9 months what she would look like...I was still surprised. I couldn't believe that my Amy girl was finally here, safe and sound. Having been asleep when she was born, I was a bit concerned, what if they gave me the wrong baby, how would I ever know? Then Jeff told me to look at her little feet, she had webbed toes, just like mine. Yes, surely this was my Amy girl that I had been waiting for! :)

Now here we are 27 years later and I sometimes still look at her ( as well as all my kids and now my grand-kids) and I am amazed that they are really mine. How grateful I feel to be able to be their mother and Nana. Amy is a beautiful grown woman, with a family of her own now. Where did the years go? How thankful I am for Amy, she is one of the happiest people I know. She truly loves life to its fullest ( a great lesson for me ). She is a hard worker, a true friend, a talented lady in music, art and just about anything she decides to do. She is a bit O.C.D. but that works out pretty well for me because I am a bit A. D. D. It is a good balance. She was our first and so likes she likes to put it...she was our guinea pig. Ok, so we did learn a few things that we would or would not do again after trying them out on her. But remember we were new at this parenthood game!  She was a little mother to all the rest of the kids and still to this day can organize anything and anybody. She has been the love of our life for over 27 years. How grateful we are that she is our Amy girl! Happy Birthday sweetheart, we love ya!

"A parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided."  ~Robert Brault

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."  ~Elizabeth Stone

"Growing up is a process, not an event."

Part of a Mom's Job

My dear friend just sent this to me. It hit the nail on the head for me about motherhood ( parenthood ). It is something that every parent-to-be should know. Yes you will worry, but it is only because you love your kids soooooooooo much. Remember no one said it would be easy, but it would certainly be worth it!

WORRY

Is there a magic cutoff period when
offspring become accountable for their own
actions? Is there a wonderful moment when
parents can become detached spectators in
the lives of their children and shrug, "It's
their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital
corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, "When do
you stop worrying?" The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage." My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career making
license plates. As if to read my mind, the teacher
said, "Don't worry, they all go through
this stage and then you can sit back, relax and
enjoy them." My Dad just smiled
faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
home, the front door to open. A friend said,
"They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry,
in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be
adults." My Dad just smiled faintly
and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being
vulnerable. I was still worrying over my
children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
was nothing I could do about it. My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. I
continued to anguish over their failures, be
tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in
their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I
could stop worrying and lead my own
life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
haunted by my Dad's warm smile and his
occasional, "You look pale; are you all right?
Call me the minute you get home. Are
you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a
lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another
handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
human frailties and the fears of the
unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable
recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been
calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere."  ~Glenn Turner

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."  ~ Buddha

I understand..." I've already been through that myself!

Why is it, that you always feel better when you know at least one other person has been through the trial that you are presently facing yourself? I had a dear friend who is now an EMPTY NESTER. She and her husband are they authorities on the subject, because they have been doing it for a few years. When she saw me today with all my family sitting in the pew at church, she said..."I bet you are enjoying having so many of your kids home aren't  you? " "Enjoy every minute of it". I knew that she truly understood. Although we are not completely Empty Nesters but quickly approaching that season in my life, I am trying to prepare the best I can.  My heart is hurting so...I am guessing I still have lots to learn.

I love the books Chicken Soup for the Soul, the very first book was published in 1993...it was obviously something that people needed. I personally get thrilled when I get one. One that I think was the perfect gift for me, was one that my dear friend gave me when I was diagnosed with Cancer for the first time. I was still in shock, scared and and that book was pure inspiration to me. To hear true life stories of others who had survived and thrived since their cancer, was completely what I needed, how grateful I was for her thoughtfulness. It does help to know that someone else has been there, done that.

So tomorrow I believe after my Physical Therapy, I am going to go out and buy the Chicken Soup for the Empty Nester's Soul, because I am already dreading having my house get more empty every day. I love having it full and with all my kids around.

Here is the Synopsis on that book if you might want to get one yourself.

Synopsis

This is Chicken Soup for the Soul's first book on a very emotional but exciting time for parents - sending their children off to college or new homes and careers.

This terrific book is a must read for empty nesters or soon-to-be empty nesters.  It contains 101 stories written by parents who have been there already and share their stories with new empty nesters.  These heartfelt stories will inspire, support, and amuse parents grappling with their own bittersweet new freedom.  The book also includes stories from the kids themselves, providing the view from the other side.  Parents will nod their heads, cry a little, and laugh a lot as they recognize themselves and their almost grown-up children in these stories.

In this book, parents share stories of gazing at surprisingly clean bedrooms, starting new careers, rediscovering their spouses, and handling the continuing, and often humorous, needs of their children even while they are away at college or ensconced in their own apartments. 

"A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary." ~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."  ~ Unknown

"No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement." ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell

Getting on with our lives!

I loved this story that I read in an article by Steven E. Snow. It reminded me of how important it is to get on with our lives. Sometimes, I am embarrassed by my lack of ability to just move forward. I often get stuck in old habits or thought patterns. I know that I need to keep going, but many times I fret too much about what is going on, and forget to have faith and keep looking to the future. Change is hard, I know that from personal experience, and from watching my friends and loved ones struggle with it too. Most people will stay in a bad situation that they KNOW, verses making a healthier change to the UNKNOWN. I guess that we all have felt that way one time or the other, but still I am amazed at how crippling FEAR of the unknown can be.  Many lives can be altered by it forever, if we are not careful.

When are kids were little, there were things that they just did not want to do. They didn't necessarily want to go to a new school after we had moved. They didn't want to have to make new friends or have certain teachers at school. Whatever it was, we realized at parents that was our job to help them GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES. We knew they would make new friends, or do ok with certain teachers or whatever. The point was, that we were going to stay right beside them and track their progress or lack of. We tried to be the constant in their lives.

I have heard my kids once or twice talk about their childhood and how hard certain things were or how unfair life was at times. Some of the things they just didn't really comprehend the importance of, at their age and others were just called LIFE!  I have said many times... I wish that I could have changed some of the things that happened to us in the past not all of them but some. I wish that I wouldn't have had so many illnesses and physical restrictions. I wished that I could have been at more of their games, plays, and school programs. Yes, I sometimes feel guilty that they had to learn to work so hard at a young age, they had to take care of me or of each other some times. Then I look at them now, they are all very capable of doing just about anything! They know  how to serve, help, clean, cook, work and love. They are very compassionate kids and for that I am grateful. I realize now that no one can predict what will happen in their life, but we can choose how we want to deal with it. We can learn and grow from it, or go the rest of our lives complaining about how terrible our lives were. It is all about choices isn't it?  Life is all about changes too, and experiences that will teach us in ways that we could never imagine. Enjoy this sweet story and try to remember, some changes we can see coming in our lives and others we can not. We need to have faith, keep our perspective to be able to make those BIG decisions in our lives. We also need to think of who all will be effected by our decisions and try to be happy for the opportunity to grow! We need to remember we have a loving Heavenly Father to watch over us every step of the way! No we are not ALONE! That in and of itself, can bring great comfort.

During the very early years of her life, our niece Lachelle spent the mornings with her grandmother. The two shared a special bond from these hours together. Lachelle soon turned five years old and was preparing to begin school. On their last morning together, Grandma Squire read her granddaughter a story and rocked her in the big rocking chair. “We have had so much fun together, Lachelle,” she told her, “and now it is time for you to go to school. I love you so much; what will I ever do without you?”

With wisdom beyond her five years, Lachelle looked up at her grandmother with big brown eyes. “Grandma,” she said, “I love you too, but it is time I got on with my life.”

" Faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other"                          ~ Thomas S. Monson