Friday, April 30, 2010


I read this poem today that I found at and written by Catherine Pulsifer,  and loved it. It is so true, that hope gives us optimism when we are feeling discouraged.  I love the quote by Diogenes which says..."Hope is the dream of a waking man" or we could say waking woman! :) So sit back read it and know that there is always hope out there, no matter how hard life is... with a lot of faith and hope we can conquer anything!

As long as we have hope,
we have direction,
the energy to move,
and the map to move by.
We have a hundred alternatives,
a thousand paths and infinity of dreams.
Hopeful, we are halfway to where we want to go;
Hopeless, we are lost forever.

Hope is one of the prime differences between successful people and those who can only see failure. Successful people have hope because they can clearly see their goals. People who only see failure have no hope because they see no light, they set no goals, and they see nothing accomplished. Successful people see alternatives and are willing to try different ways. People who only see failure are unable to see another way and give up to easily. With hope you are halfway to where you want to go; by setting your goals, and taking the action to achieve them, you will see your hope turn into your reality!


"Once you choose hope, anything's possible."  ~ Christopher Reeve


"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."  ~ Dale Carnegie


"The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."  ~ Allan K. Chalmers

Thursday, April 29, 2010

She's here!

Today I waited patiently ( ok just sorta patiently ) by the phone, for my sister-in-law to call and let me know when her 3rd granddaughter was born.  The call came around 8:00 a.m. "she's here!", what beautiful words those are. I know that there are babies born every day, but still I am so glad to know that the delivery is over and that each child has arrived safe and sound. When I hear that the baby are mommy are doing well then ... I am a happy camper. I love my nieces and nephews a lot, and so as our family tree keeps getting bigger, Aunt Lynn is grateful. I read this sweet story today and thought how neat it is to be an Aunt or a Grandma. The love you have for these kids is hard to explain, but at least it goes both ways. I don't have any girls with freckles yet but you never know with red heads!

The Eyes of Love- Inspirational Life Story

A grandmother and a little girl whose face was sprinkled with bright red freckles spent the day at the zoo.  The children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.

'You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!' a boy in the line cried.

Embarrassed, the little girl dropped her head. Her grandmother knelt down next to her. 'I love your freckles,' she said.

'Not me,' the girl replied.

'Well, when I was a little girl I always wanted freckles,' she said, tracing her finger across the child's cheek. 'Freckles are beautiful!'

The girl looked up. 'Really?'

'Of course,' said the grandmother. 'Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles.'

The little girl peered into the old woman's smiling face. 'Wrinkles,' she answered softly.


"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."  ~ Anonymous

"It was the tiniest thing I ever decided to put my whole life into."  ~ Terri Guillemets

"A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend."  ~Author Unknown

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Time changes things

Someone sent me this article of about a woman's lifeline. I am always interested in how women view themselves.  The world is tough on women. What is shown on TV and every bill board and magazine is hard to compare to. For one it's not real... but I hate even more the pressure that it puts on our young women ( actually all women) to be something that they aren't. This article reminded me that with age comes wisdom. I hope by reading it, that we will all remember our true worth and value!



AGE 3: She looks at herself and sees a queen.

AGE 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

AGE 15: She looks at herself and sees in ugly duckling ( Mom, I can't go to school looking like this today! )

AGE 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but decides she's going out anyway.

AGE 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but decides she doesn't have time to fix it so she's going out anyway.

AGE 40: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" but says, "At least I am clean," and goes out anyway.

AGE 50: She looks at herself and says, "I am what I am," and goes wherever she wants to go.

AGE 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.

AGE 70: She looks at  herself and sees wisdom, laughter, and ability and goes out and enjoys life.

AGE 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

The moral is, maybe we should all grab that purple hat a little earlier.


"The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself."  ~Elizabeth Metcalf

"Woman must not accept; she must challenge.
She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her;
she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression."

~ Margaret Sanger ~

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I mentioned in my last post that we were trying to develop the poem that would go with the RECNAC monsters we created. I really hope that they bring some smiles and comfort, to those children who have to face RECNAC (CANCER).

Cancer can be scary and I know you are afraid.
Just cuddle up with me and try your best to be brave.
If it helps to ease your worry, go ahead and change the name.
Turn cancer into recnac and see if you feel the same.
Make me your recnac monster; look at my silly face.
I hope I make you smile as you take me from place to place.

Morgan the recnac monster

"Courage can't see around corners, but goes around them anyway."  ~Mignon McLaughlin,

"You must do the things you think you cannot do." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

This whole journey through cancer has been a family affair for us. How grateful I am for all of them. They encourage me continue to search for new ways to help others who have to go down the same road. Plus each day I get to wake up and do something I feel passionate about!

Thanks to all of you for your prayers, love and concern too!

Monday, April 26, 2010


When I was a little girl I had some pretty big fears. I just couldn't seem to get control over them. Now having counseled with many abuse victims over the past 25 years, I know that I wasn't the only one. Even those of you, who had normal, happy and safe childhoods, might have had some fears now and then. One thing that has probably been one of the biggest thing many people fear... is Cancer. Now if you think we as adults are the only ones to get scared, we are wrong. When I first got diagnosed with Cancer many years ago, my kids were young and the fear that I felt, transferred over to them. That is exactly why we came up with the word RECNAC instead of CANCER. RECNAC as many of you know is Cancer spelled backwards. Isn't that silly ? You beat it is, but it sure sounds a whole lot better when you have to talk about that scary disease so often. We all could handle seeing MOM'S RECNAC APPOINTMENT AT 9:00 am with Dr. Johnson on the calendar. Also the kids found out quickly if they told any of their friends that I had cancer, then the friends ( well meaning ) would promptly tell them about their Aunt or Grandpa that died of Cancer. To this day ( I am proud to say ) we don't know of any one that has died from RECNAC. :)

Now don't get me wrong. My kids understood the facts about Cancer... but we simply needed to find a way to take the power back from the C word. Recnac (cancer) is a family disease, I don't mean by genes, but because of the effects it has on every person in the family. It was vital for me as a mom to keep a close eye on each child to see how they were holding up, I spoke to counselors, teachers and family members for help and support. Yes, RECNAC ( cancer was a family disease ). It doesn't matter how old your children are either, everyone gets scared!

Since my second bout with Cancer, I have started developing gifts for cancer patients that I hoped would help and make a difference in their healing. As I dreaded going to radiation every day, I wondered how in the world a mom would feel, if it was her child that had the cancer and had to go to radiation each day? Many people say that the  treatments are worse than the disease. So with that in mind I have ( along with a dear friend of mine ) developed some RECNAC GIFTS. Each one is designed to help and comfort the patient in some way . I just want to try and reach as many patients as I can and help them have some hope and comfort during their journey with cancer.

With that in mind, I have designed ( always with the help of my dear friend and family ) yet another RECNAC GIFT. We have developed the ONCE UPON A TIME MONSTERS, each monster comes with a name and the poem below. We are still working on coming up with a  different one for Cancer patients or cancer patient's children. 

Once upon a time there was a monster under my bed.
So I shivered and screamed and pulled the covers over my head.
All of a sudden, that monster came out--and do you know what he said?
"can I be your friend and sleep with you instead?"
Congratulations! You've just adopted a ONCE UPON A TIME MONSTER!
Now you'll always have a friend to help you be brave and you'll never be alone again!

Here is a photo of my granddaughter Angie playing with some of the monsters. She doesn't quite understand why she can't have every monster that Nana creates!  I will let you know when we get them on line and are up for adoption.  What better way to keep those fears away ...than your own personal monsters?  Monsters aren't scared of anything!

Until then, I am going to go get me a monster... and go to bed!

Angie and her monsters


A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
'Yes, sir.' the boy replied.
'And, do you always say them in the morning, too?' the pastor asked.
'No sir,' the boy replied. 'I ain't scared in the daytime.'

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Don't forget to check your foundation!

My granddaughter loves to sing. I have been singing Christmas songs to her since she was a baby and now I am singing them to her little sister Jenny too! I don't care what people think, I love the Christmas songs...they make me happy. I love to think about the words in a song. I bet the person who wrote the song certainly was concerned about the words. Yes, music can teach us in ways that some times miss in just talking or reading.

One of the songs that Angie loves to sing is..THE WISE MAN BUILT HIS HOUSE UPON A ROCK

She even has hand jesters to go with it. I thought about the words in that song today...










As I thought about those words I wondered if I am standing on the right principles in my life? How strong is my personal foundation? Am I doing and living what I know to be true?  The song never said what the house looked like or how big it was, but just that it's foundation was strong, that is what is important. In the book of Matthew chapter 7 verses 24-27 the Savior talks about the wise man and the foolish man. He talks about how important it is to not only hear and know His words ...but live them!

How grateful I am today for music, for the way it teaches us and the beautiful lessons that we can learn from it.

Hope you had a great Sabbath day!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Where did the time go?

I can still remember well the day Lee was born. He was welcomed into our home by 3 other siblings. Lee was everyone's baby. Lauren who was only two years old when he was born called him "BABY WEE".We fought over who was going to feed him and change him. He was a colicky ( not sure if that is spelled right? ) baby for the first 3 months, but after that he was one of our happiest babies. From the time he could sit up, he could throw a ball. He loved any kind of ball, that was his passion as he grew. He has always been quite the athlete.

Today Lee turned 17 years old. Where in the world did that time go? I looked at him today and thought what a great, handsome and kind young man he has become. He is still loved by every one in the family. We celebrated his birthday tonight with Amy, John and the girls. Felt weird not to have the rest of our family with us.

How grateful I am to have one more teenager left at home. It is nice to be able to have an adult conversation  with him, do activities with him and go places with him. I can still remember when all four of the kids were young, I worried that I would never have the time and energy I needed to teach and be with each one. I did ok, but still I have memories of days that I felt someone went to bed feeling neglected. I wonder if I invested enough in each one to let them know how much we love and appreciate them? Did they know that our life would never be the same without them? Parenthood, it is tougher than it looks.

For 28 years I have been a stay home mom. Some of you probably don't even know what that is, we are not the majority out there. I am grateful, (although there were many sacrifices to be made because of it) ...that I got to be home 24/7 with my kids. I realize that I was blessed to have the opportunity to do that, many do not have that luxury. I have enjoyed being Amy, Brad, Lauren and Lee's mom. Even though I have fallen short many times on doing the right thing as a mother, I can at least said I tried and that they were the most important thing in my life...right after their dad. :)

So I need to remember  when I go to bed tonight to focus on the wonderful 17 years we had with Lee and not dwell on the fact that in a year or two, he will be leaving home too. No, I can't go there right now. Good night dear friends.

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."  ~ Elizabeth Stone

"I thought my mom's whole purpose was to be my mom. That's how she made me feel."                                         ~ Natasha Gregson Wagner

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Road less traveled

In 1974 when I was 15 years old , I painted this picture. I first did it on a small canvas and then my teacher and I got so excited about it, that we decided to make it the year end project, which we all had to do. I asked my dad to help me build a canvas approximately 4ft x 4ft. It was a big undertaking but I remember being excited about it, and for a change my dad and I spent some time together.

Craigslist Pics 001

This photo was proudly displayed in our rec room, ok maybe it was more like a storage /ping pong room, but still it was hung in our home. My mom was nice about things like that, she had a few pieces that were created by her kids. Mine of course was the maybe I was the, we were all mom's favorite!

Anyway as we got older the jokes started coming out about my painting. Now remember I was only 15 and I still think, for a 15 year old (who never had a lesson) it wasn't that bad. The joke was mostly about the road that lead no where. After my parents died and my brothers were cleaning out our old farm house, I received this one day. The big moving truck came out and brought my HOPE CHEST (which was one of my real treasures from my childhood) and then they brought out this painting. I don't even want to know how much they paid to have it sent to me from West Virginia. What was I suppose to do with it? It was a nice jester, I think my brother thought it meant a lot to me so ..... here it is sitting in my garage, I tried to sell it but haven't had any luck so far.

Now my own family has carried on the jokes about the painting of the road that leads to no where. I personally think it would be a wonderful gift for someone that is into the 70"s look. Actually my son Brad and his wife are... but when I asked him about it, he said something like "well, we aren't THAT into the 70's mom!" :)

My entry tonight is not to debate whether this picture is worth something or not, but actually to let you know what I was thinking when I painted it. I was 15 at the time, still living with at home on the same property as my grandmother and grandfather. I had been abused by my grandfather since I was 5 years old, home was not a safe place for me. Quite the opposite, I was always looking over my shoulder, wondering if I heard the door open, watching out the window to see where my grandfather was or was not.

Every child that comes from an abusive past has to deal with it some how. My survival technique was my art work. I had always loved drawing and creating since I was a little girl but now in Junior High, I had a teacher that I liked and someone else who was passionate about art too. I loved painting, what a fun way to escape to another world, a world that I completely created myself. When I started this painting, I thought it would be neat to go down a road different from others, start anew as they say. I wanted something different than what I was experiencing in my life. I wanted to have a family that was different, a home that was safe, and all I knew is that I would probably have to go down a different road and probably would have to go down it alone. We had a big apple tree on our property and there was a little dirt road beside it, that is where I got the idea from...something I looked at every day.

Abuse changes how you view the world, I wanted something different and better and even though it sounds corny, when I look at my painting it is bitter/sweet. I see something that reminds me of my past and all the junk that came with it, but I also see a chance for change and that is exactly what I had to do...go down a different road and much of that I had to do alone.

Today I spoke with one of the ladies who runs the foundation for abused victims called Chainbreaker ( I love the name! ). I had heard her speak last year and was impressed with her willingness to help others. Joan started the educational classes while she was working as a volunteer for the police department. I sure could have used someone like her when I was young. She asked if I would be willing to come and speak sometime to the people who come to their foundation for help and support. I won't be able to do it this time when I am in Utah, but it is for sure something that I would love to do soon. Here's their information...


The ChainBreaker Foundation assists adult victims of all types of abuse–physical, sexual, spiritual, emotional, and verbal. Our purpose is to provide education, guidance, and support.

Ok, ok back to my point. I think I should call this painting THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED vs THE ROAD THAT GOES NO WHERE, I am not sure if that having a different name will help it sell any better or not? But it does stand as a great reminder to me, that I did take the road less traveled and my life has been much happier, safer and successful because of it. So go ahead, don't always follow the crowd. Take a look at the road you are on and see where it is leading you? You might have to take a different road, one less traveled but...that's ok sometimes.



You can't predict, you can prepare. Experience the power of making decisions based on security instead of worry, readiness instead of reluctance, abundance instead of lack.
Kathy Gates

Abuse is wrong, if you are in an abusive situation, please tell someone...get help! Foundations like these can be life savers!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

What I have learned

I know that I have posted before lessons learned by other people, but this one from Maya Angelou was very fitting for how I felt today. Life is about learning... so we need to try and remember that on a daily basis, and enjoy the journey!

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back...'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

On the road again!

One of my least favorite things of Motherhood is watching my kids learn how to drive. It is just downright painful. Today Lee started his first Driver's Ed class. He is a bit late taking it, because of other obligations last summer so... here we are. The parents were suppose to be there for the first class. I sat there and remembered how hard the chairs were in school, how boring lectures can be and how I have to go through...yet one more of my children learning to drive. For those of us that are blessed to have husbands, we can let them do a lot of the first few scary drives. Still I catch myself wearing a whole in the floor board on the passenger side, the first few months. I won't even tell you how I feel when we do our first Freeway drives...yikes.

They focused today on things that we as parents do that are wrong and which are bad examples to our kids. They asked us to take a good hard look at our driving habits and try to learn at the same time our kids are learning, so that it will be a beneficial experience for both of us. I thought that was a good idea.

The last few weeks I have been so caught up with being lonely for my other kids that left. Today I realized I am still mothering one more at home and that if I do my job right, I still should stay pretty worried...I mean busy :)

My sister-in-law sent me this funny bumper sticker cartoon by Maxine and it went like this...

"Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him."

I think that is exactly what the teacher was trying to impress on us as parents to change, things like that.

I don't text at all, but I do have some lazy things or bad habits that I realized today that I should work on while driving so ...maybe this isn't going to be so bad at all, at least I hope not!

I hope you had a great day, and that this post will remind us all, to take a look at our driving habits and see if there is any room for change? Good night dear friends!

"Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you."  ~Robert Fulghum

"To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while."  ~Josh Billings

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its trouble, It empties today of its strength." unknown

Monday, April 19, 2010

A date to remember

Today as I opened up the news on my computer, I was surprised to see that it had been 15 years since the Oklahoma City bombing. I was impressed with what the mayor Mick Cornett said at the ceremony today...

Oklahoma City Mayor Mick Cornett said the day of the bombing is recalled with reverence, "not because we can't forget but because we choose to remember.

"We have chosen strength, we have chosen optimism, we have chosen freedom, we have chosen to move forward together with a level of unity that is unmatched in any American city,"

In this May 5, 1995 file photo, thousands of search and rescue crews attend a memorial service in front of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City.  More than 600 people were injured in the April 19, 1995 attack and 168 people were killed. Timothy McVeigh was executed in 2001, and Terry Nichols is serving multiple life sentences on federal and state convictions for their convictions in the bombing.


I loved their mission statement, how powerful!  Yes, the human spirit is amazing. Hope this was inspiring to you as it was to me today. Remember we always have a CHOICE!

"It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is is finished when it surrenders."  ~ Ben Stein

"Time is not measured by the passing of the years but by what one does, what one feels, and what one achieves."  ~ Jawahalal Nehru

"Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit."  ~ Ben Williams

Sunday, April 18, 2010


Ok, I am going to leave you tonight with this sweet article written by Erma Bombeck on mothers. I would write more but my heart is still hurting, Lauren left back for college this morning. It is a weird feeling, watching your kids grow up and call somewhere else home. I mean it is exactly what we want ( as parents ) but... it still is tough on the heart. The good thing is that Brad and Krystal are there and for that we are grateful. So here Jeff, Lee and I sit, here wondering what to do with ourselves. I guess we will figure it out? :)Good night dear friends.

A Child's Angel

by Erma Bombeck

Once upon a time, there was a child ready to be born.

He asked God:

"They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going
to live there being so small and helpless?"

God: "Among the many angels, I chose one especially for you. She will
be waiting for you and will take care of you."

Child: "But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing
and smile, and that's enough for me to be happy. Will I be happy

God: "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every
You will feel your angel's love and be happy."

Child: "How am I going to be able to understand when people talk to
me if I don't know the language that men talk?"

God: "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you
will ever hear.
With much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

Child: "And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God: "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

Child: "I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?"

God: "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking her own life."

Child: "But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God: "Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth
could already be heard.
The child, in a hurry, asked softly:

"Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

God: "Your angel's name is of no importance.
You will call your angel ... Mommy."

“Motherhood …is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels."  ~James R. Clark

"We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world."  ~ Sameerah Shareef

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Winds of change

I have met so many people in my life that found their true direction, after going through a serious trial or challenge. Why do you think that is? I only know from my own opinion, but I believe it is because you have now changed through this hard and trying time, you have become different. Your priorities change, what used to be necessary or so important in your life, might not matter at all now. And then something that seemed so small and insignificant is vital in your life. That is what cancer did for me. Oh, I am not glad that I had it (twice), it is nothing I would wish on my worst enemy (which I don't have), but what I learned through it all, has been invaluable. I am a changed person, I am a better person, I am a happier and much more content person. I am grateful that I lived to tell about it and hopefully that by telling my story it will give support, hope and encouragement to others. I am passionate about seeing that every person who has to face cancer, knows there is hope and peace out there. Fear is a terrible thing. Thanks for reading my blog, I pray that it helps at least someone out there. Good night dear friends and remember ..."ONLY WHEN WE ARE NO LONGER AFRAID DO WE BEGIN TO LIVE!" ~ Dorothy Thompson


"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true directions."

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive.  And then go and do that.  Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."  ~Attributed to Howard Thurman

"Renew your passions daily."  ~Terri Guillemets

Friday, April 16, 2010


Today I got to speak to a dear friend of mine for a very long time. What did we talk about? Mostly the experiences of Motherhood. Even though our kids are at different ages, we could still relate to a lot of things. I am amazed at the emotions that come with Motherhood, they are so strong. That's what my post last night talked about. Did we solve the world problems today after that lengthy conversation? No, but we did listen, and give love and support to one another, that is true friendship. That's what we need to do more of with each other.

I am reading a book about a lady who is a great example of motherhood, and here are a few quotes that are mentioned in the book.      GLIMPSES INTO THE LIFE AND HEART OF MARJORIE PAY HINCKLEY

Jewish women have a wonderful way of bidding each other good-bye. They say, "Have joy in your children." And so I say to you, " Have joy in  your mothering," whether you are the mother, the aunt, the grandmother, the next door neighbor. We all have the opportunity to be an influence for good.

Children rise higher when they are treated with respect. Use courteous and respectful language when you talk with one another.

A world-famous child psychologist, Bruno Bettelheim, said at the age of eighty-four, "You can't teach children to be good. The best you can do for your child is to live a good life yourself. What a parent knows and believes, the child will lean on."

My mother taught me some basic philosophies of rearing children. One is that you have to trust children. I tried hard never to say "no" if I could possibly say "yes." I think that worked well because it gave my children the feeling that I trusted them and they were responsible to do the best they could.

What a sweet example of motherhood this lady was to me. She was the lifeline between all the members of the family. That is amazing, yes motherhood, sisterhood, and even aunthood ( Not sure that is a word? )  isn't easy but... it is vital to the next generations. We must take a hard look at our lives and ask " WHAT TYPE OF A LEGACY AM I LEAVING FOR MY CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN,COUSINS, NIECES, NEPHEWS, BROTHERS, SISTERS AND MY FRIENDS?

Amy and Jenny 

"The noblest calling in the world is that of mother. True motherhood is the most beautiful of all arts, the greatest of all professions. She who can paint a masterpiece or who can write a book that will influence millions deserves the plaudits and admiration of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters whose immortal souls will be exerting an influence throughout the ages long after painting shall have faded, and books and statues shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give."           David O. McKay

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Part of a Mom's Job

My dear friend just sent this to me. It hit the nail on the head for me about motherhood ( parenthood ). It is something that every parent-to-be should know. Yes you will worry, but it is only because you love your kids soooooooooo much. Remember no one said it would be easy, but it would certainly be worth it!


Is there a magic cutoff period when
offspring become accountable for their own
actions? Is there a wonderful moment when
parents can become detached spectators in
the lives of their children and shrug, "It's
their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital
corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, "When do
you stop worrying?" The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage." My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career making
license plates. As if to read my mind, the teacher
said, "Don't worry, they all go through
this stage and then you can sit back, relax and
enjoy them." My Dad just smiled
faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
home, the front door to open. A friend said,
"They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry,
in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be
adults." My Dad just smiled faintly
and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being
vulnerable. I was still worrying over my
children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
was nothing I could do about it. My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. I
continued to anguish over their failures, be
tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in
their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I
could stop worrying and lead my own
life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
haunted by my Dad's warm smile and his
occasional, "You look pale; are you all right?
Call me the minute you get home. Are
you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a
lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another
handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
human frailties and the fears of the
unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable
recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been
calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere."  ~Glenn Turner

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."  ~ Buddha

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I love Sunshine!

Today was one of the most beautiful sunny days ever. What a treat it was to feel the warmth of the sun on my face. My granddaughter Angie and I grabbed a  blanket and headed outside. We found bugs, looked at the clouds, listened to the birds and made a whole lot of special wishes, while blowing on wishers. ( dandelions ) I was grateful for the weather, my family and to be healthy enough to enjoy all of it today. Tonight as I was looking up a quote or something about Sunshine, I found this blog it is a blog of a cancer survivor named Paige. It is her story about cancer and how it has effected her life. I was so impressed at such a young age how wise she was. I don't know anything about her current condition, I couldn't find that ...but I will leave with you tonight her sweet spirit that comes shining through in her words. She was an inspiration to me tonight and I thought I would just pass that along!

"The world is as many times new as there are children in our lives."  ~Robert Brault,

Paige: Christmas Wish for a World Without Cancer

December 15, 2009

Paige018My fight with childhood cancer has proven to be quite a journey so far.  With my present so dramatically changed, it also sent a ripple effect into my future.  There is a great deal of uncertainty I have to face, but don’t we all!  I just have a few extra cards stacked against me.  The game’s not over yet.

I have learned a lot in the past couple of years.  I have endured even more.  Though I have sustained some physical and emotional damage, I would like to think that in many ways I emerged as a stronger, more aware individual.  My plans for the future changed along with everything else.  I had different career goals in mind as well as personal goals I wanted to achieve.  I learned that cancer can touch any one of us at any time.  No one is immune, no one is exempt.  Cancer isn’t picky.

Through my journey with cancer, I learned to fight the fight, stay positive, never give up hope, and never lose faith.  I choose to see the beauty in everything, and see each day as a precious gift, never to be taken for granted.  Life can change in the blink of an eye.  I don’t want to miss a thing.  I want no regrets.

It is for these reasons that I made a promise to myself that I would do my part in the fight to find the cure.  I would continue to do my fundraising, raise awareness, and hopefully bring hope to families going through a similar ordeal.  I am hoping that my story will help enlighten others of what it is like for children struggling through a life threatening illness.  I wanted other children to know and take comfort in the knowledge that they are not alone.  It is my wish that my story will raise even a little awareness of the incredibly brave child warriors in our midst.

"While we try to teach our children all about life,
Our children teach us what life is all about."

~Angela Schwindt

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."  ~Winston Churchill

"The most important thing in illness is never to lose heart."  ~Nikolai Lenin

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Decorating Cakes

When I was in Junior High and High School, I used to decorate cakes. I mostly did it for my friends and family, but every now and then I got paid for it. One time I was asked by my boyfriend's dad, if I could decorate a cake for his company party. He was a big golfer and so that is what type of cake they wanted. I went to the store and bought all the little accessories that would go with it and then came home and got started. It turned out pretty well, if I do say so myself. I have always been big about details, even when I painted and is the detail that I like the most. Anyway, I put a lot of time and care in this cake because one...I was being paid for it and two... it was for my boyfriend's dad.

Well, the cake was finally finished, I ran upstairs and got ready and my dad said that he would drive me over and  help me bring in the cake. It was a hot summer day, so Dad went ahead of me and got in the car and put the air conditioning on so the icing wouldn't melt. (I grew up in West Virginia so... there was a lot of heat and humidity.) I told my mom good bye and carefully headed to the car with the cake. Right before I got to the car, I heard something go SPLAT!!!!!!!  I looked around and couldn't see what it was, then to my horror as I was just getting ready to get into the car, I looked down at my cake. There in the middle of my fairway a bird had pooped. I couldn't believe it, I don't think I started crying right away, but as I started walking back to the house and told my mom what had happened, she began laughing and I think that is when I began crying.

What was I to do? It had happened between the first and second hole and it was a large area of the cake that was effected. Now my mom always told me that birds were really dirty and so I was sure that some how the whole cake would be poisonous. I didn't have time to make another one, I just couldn't call and tell them I wasn't coming and what happened to the cake. I decided to scrape off all the bird poop ( I hate that word ) and decided to make a pond right in the middle of the fairway. I had some little ducks left over from another cake I had done and so after much sweat and tears it looked pretty good, no one would ever know.

However I have always had a very BIG CONSCIENCE, and so I was very concerned that I might not have gotten every each of the bird stuff off there. I even began to pray about it, I know God has way more things to worry about than a cake but to a 17 year old girl ... and this was a very BIG thing. I made a deal with Him, I promised that I would stop decorating cakes if He made sure that no one died from eating it, I just couldn't live with that on my conscience.

When we arrived, my boyfriend met me at the car to help me bring in the cake. He immediately told me how great it looked and we went in. There were a lot of people there, everyone kept praising me for the great job I did on the cake, which only made my stomach feel worse. Finally the time came for them to cut the cake, after they did his mom came up and asked me if I wanted a piece of cake. I promptly said "Oh no thanks, I never eat my cakes I am full from testing all the icing", I am not sure that was the exact words was a lie and for that I felt bad too. But compared to the whole bird poop cover up, this lie was nothing.


Lessons learned... Take the extra money to buy a cake box to put it in. Never tell a lie. Never eat a cake that has been attacked by a bird. Don't offer to do things of this magnitude for your boyfriend's family at the young age of 17.

That is a story that my kids bring up a lot because they never had a beautifully decorated birthday cake for their parties. Why? Because their mom kept her promise. I was kind of hoping, that would be the thing they remembered ...but it isn't. The moral of the story is ...I changed, I kept my promise and no one died from eating my cake! ( not that I know of ? )



Monday, April 12, 2010

Swap Meet

I am always amazed at how resourceful my kids are. When they were little and we would Spring house clean, Jeff and I would always laugh as soon as one would put something in the give-away-box in the hallway, someone else would come and ask or just claim it. I felt like we never really a whole lot of de-cluttering done, it just seem to transfer from one room to the other. New owner of course, but still in the same house.

As the kids got older and started leaving home, one kid would be trying to claim the leaving child's room, before they had even left. Another trend seemed to be happening again last night. When Brad and Krystal were going through their stuff and packing up, there was Lauren and Lee claiming whatever they didn't want. It sounded like a big swap meet in there. I would laugh when I occasionally heard Brad say "hey, not that...I still want that?" Or to hear Lee say "All I came away with was 2 mechanical pencils with no erasers"  I guess you could compare it to vultures coming in for kill, but since they are my kids, I would rather compare it to a big Swap Meet:)

"Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts."  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

So as you guessed it, I cried and cried when I had to say good-bye today to two more kids. I pulled myself together just in time for Physical Therapy and that traded my sadness for soreness and pain, but it worked. Then I came home and just wandered around for awhile, still had that sorta lost feeling. Lauren was out visiting friends and Lee was at school. It is true what they say about a HOME... "The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes." ~ Harold B. Lee  I have known this to be true my whole life, now I just have to find important things to do when my kids are away from home.

"Home is the most popular, and will be the most enduring of all earthly establishments. ~ Channing Pollock 

"The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes."  ~Harold B. Lee

Sunday, April 11, 2010

I understand..." I've already been through that myself!

Why is it, that you always feel better when you know at least one other person has been through the trial that you are presently facing yourself? I had a dear friend who is now an EMPTY NESTER. She and her husband are they authorities on the subject, because they have been doing it for a few years. When she saw me today with all my family sitting in the pew at church, she said..."I bet you are enjoying having so many of your kids home aren't  you? " "Enjoy every minute of it". I knew that she truly understood. Although we are not completely Empty Nesters but quickly approaching that season in my life, I am trying to prepare the best I can.  My heart is hurting so...I am guessing I still have lots to learn.

I love the books Chicken Soup for the Soul, the very first book was published in was obviously something that people needed. I personally get thrilled when I get one. One that I think was the perfect gift for me, was one that my dear friend gave me when I was diagnosed with Cancer for the first time. I was still in shock, scared and and that book was pure inspiration to me. To hear true life stories of others who had survived and thrived since their cancer, was completely what I needed, how grateful I was for her thoughtfulness. It does help to know that someone else has been there, done that.

So tomorrow I believe after my Physical Therapy, I am going to go out and buy the Chicken Soup for the Empty Nester's Soul, because I am already dreading having my house get more empty every day. I love having it full and with all my kids around.

Here is the Synopsis on that book if you might want to get one yourself.


This is Chicken Soup for the Soul's first book on a very emotional but exciting time for parents - sending their children off to college or new homes and careers.

This terrific book is a must read for empty nesters or soon-to-be empty nesters.  It contains 101 stories written by parents who have been there already and share their stories with new empty nesters.  These heartfelt stories will inspire, support, and amuse parents grappling with their own bittersweet new freedom.  The book also includes stories from the kids themselves, providing the view from the other side.  Parents will nod their heads, cry a little, and laugh a lot as they recognize themselves and their almost grown-up children in these stories.

In this book, parents share stories of gazing at surprisingly clean bedrooms, starting new careers, rediscovering their spouses, and handling the continuing, and often humorous, needs of their children even while they are away at college or ensconced in their own apartments. 

"A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary." ~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher

"Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever."  ~ Unknown

"No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement." ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell is harder than it looks.

Sometimes I have felt to change something in my life was a huge deal. I think it is because I don't break it down. Sometimes the changes that I feel I need or want aren't even realistic or necessary. No matter what the circumstances are, the truth is ...change is much harder than it looks. When I found this poem, it reminded me to just take it one little piece at a time. It also reminded me how important the little things truly are. So if any of you struggle like I do in this area, I hope this poem will help you out as much as it did me. One small change at a time!
Change Your World

You cannot change the world,
But you can present the world with one improved person -
You can go to work on yourself to make yourself
Into the kind of person you admire and respect.
You can become a role model and set a standard for others.
You can control and discipline yourself to resist acting
Or speaking in a negative way
Toward anyone for any reason.
You can insist upon always doing things the loving way,
Rather than the hurtful way.
By doing these things each day,
You can continue on your journey
Toward becoming an exceptional human being.
~ Brian Tracy 





Saturday, April 10, 2010

I love this scripture.

Sometimes I read a certain scripture over and over again and never quite understand it. When I here it explained though someone else's point of view, then I get a different perspective. One that helps. That's what happened today in my reading. I am reading a book by S. Michael Wilcox called Don't Leap with the Sheep and he opened up a whole new meaning to this certain scripture. He made it relate to me, that is what I believe the scriptures are meant liken unto ourselves, to truly understand them. (Luke 24:45) Anyway the chapters that he talked about was in the book of Numbers 13-14.

The title of the chapter was Wall-watchers or Grape gathers
Before attempting to conquer the promised land, Moses sent 12 men, one from each tribe and "every one a ruler among them" into the land of Canaan.  ( Numbers 13-14 ) They searched it from the north to the south. From the brook Eshcol they cut down  "a branch with one cluster of grapes, and they bare it between two upon a staff; and they brought of the pomegranates, and of the figs."
Returning to the main encampment, they assured the children of Israel that "the land ...surely...floweth with milk and honey; and this is the fruit of it." However, in spite of the wonders of the land, the spies reported that "the people be strong that dwell in the land, and the cities are walled, and very great....We be not able to go up against the people; for they are stronger than we. And they brought up the evil report of the land.:
Two of the spies, Caleb and Joshua, disagreed with the assessment of the other 10 spies. They confirmed the fruitfulness of the land and testified,  " let us go at once, and possess it; for we are well able to overcome it."
Now the people had a choice. Would they direct their attention to the large cluster of grapes and the promise of the future bountiful harvests, or would they concentrate on the height of the walls and the difficulties in conquering the land? Unfortunately, they chose to focus on the difficulties rather than the blessings.

Caleb and Joshua tried to kindle faith in their hearts by assuring them, "If the Lord delight in us, then he will bring us into the land, and give it to us; a land which floweth with milk and honey. Only rebel not ye against the Lord, neither fear ye the people of the land; for they are bread for us." Their efforts, however, evoked from the congregation only the threat to stone them.
Realizing that the present generation did not have the faith necessary to claim their inheritance in the promised land, the Lord took them at their word. They had said it would be better to die in the wilderness than attempt such a difficult task as conquering the high walls and mighty warriors. As a result of the final rebellion, the Lord declared that they would wander in the wilderness until all the older generations had died. The wandered for forty years.

Often in our lives we hear the conflicting reports of the spies. Then we must decide whether we will become wall-watchers or grape-gathers. Will we focus on the difficulties in obeying the certain commandment of the Lord, or will we focus on the fruits, remembering the promises He extends to those who trust Him.

I guess the thing that struck me in this scripture and which he mentions in his book is that we must not focus on the height of the walls and the power of the warriors. But we much remember if the Lord delights in us, we will have the sufficient strength to conquer our fears, surmount our obstacles and enjoy the fruits of the land.

I am grateful for those who have the talent to share what they know in a way that make sense to me. What a talent to be able to write in such a way that you feel like you are sitting across the table from an old friend who has so much wisdom and insights to share with you.

I have to admit, there have many times in my life that I have been a Wall Watcher instead of a Grape Gather. I know that the Lord will not give me anything that I can't handle or conquer, but sometimes I focus too long on the Wall and forget to just TRUST! Great lesson for me today. I hope it will be a bit of inspiration to you too!

Thursday, April 8, 2010


Well today was a wonderful day, because our youngest daughter Lauren came home from her first semester of college. She only gets to stay for awhile but wonderful it is to have her here and actually to have all the kids together again. For a MOTHER, it doesn't get much better than that! :)

I am so pleased to see how she has adjusted to all  the new things that come with being on your own for the first time, she did very well. She looks so healthy and happy! We are going to have a hard time going to bed tonight because, no one is going to want to miss a minute with each other.


"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it." ~ George Moore

As soon the kids got together tonight, they started swapping stories about the 4 months that they have been a part and even stories about each other in the past. This story I found in a joke book reminded me, of all of them tonight.

Hearing a scream from the playroom, the mother rushed in and found her infant son pulling the  hair of his four-year-old sister. After separating them, the mother said to the daughter, " Don't be upset with your brother, honey. He didn't know he was hurting you." No sooner had the mother returned to her chores then she heard more screaming. This time she rushed in and found the baby crying. " Now what happened?" she asked.

"Nothing," said the girl, "except that now he knows."  ~ Great Clean Jokes  by Jennifer Hahn


I feel so blessed to have my family. Oh we have our problems and struggles, like everyone else but grateful  I feel to be their mom!

Family 2_edited-1 

"Family life is full of major and minor crises -- the ups and downs of health, success and failure in career, marriage, and divorce -- and all kinds of characters. It is tied to places and events and histories. With all of these felt details, life etches itself into memory and personality. It's difficult to imagine anything more nourishing to the soul."   ~ Thomas Moore

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."  ~ Jane Howard

"A happy family is but an earlier heaven."  ~ John Bowring

Getting on with our lives!

I loved this story that I read in an article by Steven E. Snow. It reminded me of how important it is to get on with our lives. Sometimes, I am embarrassed by my lack of ability to just move forward. I often get stuck in old habits or thought patterns. I know that I need to keep going, but many times I fret too much about what is going on, and forget to have faith and keep looking to the future. Change is hard, I know that from personal experience, and from watching my friends and loved ones struggle with it too. Most people will stay in a bad situation that they KNOW, verses making a healthier change to the UNKNOWN. I guess that we all have felt that way one time or the other, but still I am amazed at how crippling FEAR of the unknown can be.  Many lives can be altered by it forever, if we are not careful.

When are kids were little, there were things that they just did not want to do. They didn't necessarily want to go to a new school after we had moved. They didn't want to have to make new friends or have certain teachers at school. Whatever it was, we realized at parents that was our job to help them GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES. We knew they would make new friends, or do ok with certain teachers or whatever. The point was, that we were going to stay right beside them and track their progress or lack of. We tried to be the constant in their lives.

I have heard my kids once or twice talk about their childhood and how hard certain things were or how unfair life was at times. Some of the things they just didn't really comprehend the importance of, at their age and others were just called LIFE!  I have said many times... I wish that I could have changed some of the things that happened to us in the past not all of them but some. I wish that I wouldn't have had so many illnesses and physical restrictions. I wished that I could have been at more of their games, plays, and school programs. Yes, I sometimes feel guilty that they had to learn to work so hard at a young age, they had to take care of me or of each other some times. Then I look at them now, they are all very capable of doing just about anything! They know  how to serve, help, clean, cook, work and love. They are very compassionate kids and for that I am grateful. I realize now that no one can predict what will happen in their life, but we can choose how we want to deal with it. We can learn and grow from it, or go the rest of our lives complaining about how terrible our lives were. It is all about choices isn't it?  Life is all about changes too, and experiences that will teach us in ways that we could never imagine. Enjoy this sweet story and try to remember, some changes we can see coming in our lives and others we can not. We need to have faith, keep our perspective to be able to make those BIG decisions in our lives. We also need to think of who all will be effected by our decisions and try to be happy for the opportunity to grow! We need to remember we have a loving Heavenly Father to watch over us every step of the way! No we are not ALONE! That in and of itself, can bring great comfort.

During the very early years of her life, our niece Lachelle spent the mornings with her grandmother. The two shared a special bond from these hours together. Lachelle soon turned five years old and was preparing to begin school. On their last morning together, Grandma Squire read her granddaughter a story and rocked her in the big rocking chair. “We have had so much fun together, Lachelle,” she told her, “and now it is time for you to go to school. I love you so much; what will I ever do without you?”

With wisdom beyond her five years, Lachelle looked up at her grandmother with big brown eyes. “Grandma,” she said, “I love you too, but it is time I got on with my life.”

" Faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other"                          ~ Thomas S. Monson













Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Lessons from the past

Today I worked a long time on editing my book. Krystal will do the final editing, but since I have so much information and so many days to cover, I am trying to go through each one and see if there is anything that I would want to take out. I was amazed at how fast the feelings came rushing back to me, as I reread my first diagnosis with cancer.

It had been 7 years since my last cancer and so everyone thought I was pretty safe...for it not to return. They say 5 years is sorta the magical number, if you make it 5 years then your chances of getting it again is a lot lower. I am here to tell you that no one really knows that much about Cancer. I know there has been progress and there are still new statistics coming in every day but...the more I talk to others who are 2nd and 3rd time survivors, I realize every story is different and no one really understands why or how it came back. Especially when they did EVERYTHING the Doctor ordered.

I cried most of the time I was reading and suppose to be editing. It was much harder than I thought to do this. The emotions were closer to the surface than I thought, and yet I felt a bit of pride that I am at least progressing some. Maybe not as far or fast as I had hoped but...I am progressing. Some days are faster and better than others.

As I read the lessons from life that I had already experienced, I was amazed at the love and support from so many of you. There were days that I did nothing but write in my blog but it gave me something to look forward to and someone to share my lessons with.

Thank you for all the support and love you continue to be in my life. Yes, life has been tough but... there have been many wonderful lessons learned.

Good night dear friends!

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow"  ~ Albert Einstein

"You learn something every day if you pay attention."  ~Ray LeBlond

Monday, April 5, 2010

Never too old to learn!

I have always heard the saying..."You can't teach an old dog new tricks".  Well, I am not sure that I believe that in every circumstances, but I did like this article about learning from your dog. I had a dog from the age of 10 years old till I left home for good, at 21 years old. I had moved away for the summer or a year or so, but I always came back home and there was my sweet dog that never seemed to have forgotten me. This was just a cute reminder... that we need to never be TOO OLD to learn or change our ways or to appreciate what we have.


When loved ones come home, always run to greet them
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face
to be pure ecstasy
When it's in your best interest
practice obedience
Let others know when they've invaded your territory
Take naps and stretch before rising
Run romp and play daily
Thrive on attention and let people touch you
Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do
On warm days stop to lie on your back on the grass
On hot days drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree
When you're happy dance around and wag your entire body
No matter how often you're scolded
don't buy into the guilt thing and pout
run right back and make friends
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm
Stop when you have had enough
Be loyal
Never pretend to be something you're not
If what you want lies buried
dig until you find it
When someone is having a bad day
be silent .....
...sit close by.
...and nuzzle them gently.


" It's what you learn after you know it all that counts."  ~Attributed to Harry S. Truman

"When the student is ready, the master appears."  ~Buddhist Proverb

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter!

I am so grateful that we were about to celebrate Easter today. I am glad that my children know, the very important meaning of Easter. I believe some times that kids believe and understand it better, because their minds and lives are so full of hope and faith. I am grateful to celebrate the life, death and resurrection of a living Savior. I am grateful for the peace that comes from knowing the true Easter Story. As I read it in John 20, Matthew 27-28 ...I realized that it has always meant a lot to me, there have been so many of my family and loved ones who have already passed away from this life. I realized that the Savior suffered went through all the things He did because of His love for us. I hang on to my believe and testimony that I will be able to see them again someday, if I but strive to live the commandments of God. What a beautiful statement ..."He is Risen", it gives me great HOPE!

I personally know that He lives and truly understand what He did for me, because I have had to go through my own Gethsemane. There have been times in my life that I personally know ...I couldn't have made it through without the help of the Savior.  There have been times in my life also that I have prayed with my broken heart to know that He really lives and because of his atoning sacrifice, I can be forgiven of my sins and have the opportunity to start off anew. I believe all of us, will come to a point in our lives where we will have to face our own Gethsemane. When we do, we will find ourselves down on our knees, begging to know if these things are true or not!  Yes, Easter brings to me great Hope and Peace.

I liked this poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox...

In golden youth when seems the earth
A Summer-land of singing mirth,
When souls are glad and hearts are light,
And not a shadow lurks in sight,
We do not know it, but there lies
Somewhere veiled under evening skies
A garden which we all must see—
The garden of Gethsemane.

With joyous steps we go our ways,
Love lends a halo to our days;
Light sorrows sail like clouds afar,
We laugh, and say how strong we are.
We hurry on; and hurrying, go
Close to the border-land of woe,
That waits for you, and waits for me—
Forever waits Gethsemane.

Down shadowy lanes, across strange streams,
Bridged over by our broken dreams;
Behind the misty caps of years,
Beyond the great salt fount of tears,
The garden lies. Strive as you may,
You cannot miss it in your way.
All paths that have been, or shall be,
Pass somewhere through Gethsemane.

All those who journey, soon or late,
Must pass within the garden’s gate;Must kneel alone in darkness there,
And battle with some fierce despair
God pity those who can not say,
“Not mine but thine,” who only pray,
“Let this cup pass,” and cannot see
The purpose in Gethsemane.

"The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances."  ~ Robert Flatt

"Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless."  ~ Charles M. Crowe

"Let the resurrection joy lift us from loneliness and weakness and despair to strength and beauty and happiness."  ~ Floyd W. Tomkins

Saturday, April 3, 2010


When all four of the kids were little, Jeff and I would have to set on the calendar... dates, that each of us could have some one- on- one time with each kid. If we didn't schedule it, then somehow someone seemed to get left out, or not enough attention that they needed. We picked a child a week to be V.I.P., they got to pick where they wanted to sit at the table, they got to pick their chore, they got to pick their favorite meal,  it was their week for a Daddy Daughter or Son date and of course if they were old enough ...they got to ride shotgun in the car. Life was so busy that it seemed the more organized we were, the more smoothly our house ran. Not that we were perfect, but every now and then ...we did have things go as planned! ( I was always shocked when it did! )

Now here I am, years later and trying to have the grown kids find time in their busy schedules... to do something with me. Tonight was one of those nights, Jeff got to hang out with Brad and Lee. I on the other hand got to spend the evening with Amy, Krystal and Miss Jenny ( Angie is with her other grandmother). It was a wonderful evening and we really laughed and just enjoyed being together. I am already starting to miss Krystal, they leave next week to head back to school. How glad I am we had this chance to get to know each other better. What a sweet addition she has been to our family.

I heard a speech today about parenting, and how vital it is that we teach our children properly. How we need to expect them to participate in our family chores,activities and life. How we shouldn't give them everything, it was a great reminder for me as a parent. Here is the quotes and comment that was mentioned in it.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."         ~ Lao Tzu

"We shouldn't be in the business of handing out fish, but we should be in the business of teaching our children how to fish."               ~ David A. Bednar 

"So frequently we mistakenly believe that our children need more things, when in reality their silent pleadings are simply for more of our time." Thomas S. Monson

Friday, April 2, 2010

Easter Bunny comes tonight!

Today was my 4th Physical Therapy for my knees. It was pretty tough but, I know it probably has to be to be able to get my knees strong as they need to be. I will have to be doing some of the exercises on my own at home on the days that I don't have PT. Came home and needed to take a nap. I am trying to go a day without a nap, but for some reason I can't. It has been almost a year since I finished my radiation, and yet the fatigue still is an issue. I wonder if other survivors took this long to recover?

Well it is late and in our home the Easter Bunny comes tonight...why? Well, when the kids were little we didn't want to get the true meaning of Easter, confused with the Easter Bunny, so... we had him come on Friday night and then we did the Easter Baskets and Egg Hunts on Saturday. Then we had all day Sunday to celebrate Easter. Now that might not work for many of you, but it has for us, so I need to head to bed and wait for the Easter Bunny!

File:Easter Bunny Postcard 1907.jpg

"Spring is when life's alive in everything."   ~ Christina Rossetti

Thursday, April 1, 2010

You are the author!

Today Krystal and I went to the store and copied off the first 5 months of my blog. It was 72 pages long. This is the first step of going toward my book. I have had many people ask me if I am going to put my blog into a book. I have always wanted to write a book, but was always convincing myself that I probably really couldn't accomplish it.  So we have officially started today. Krystal is an editor and so she is coaching me along the way. We realized today that we only have a week or more before they head by to Idaho for school. This is one thing we had talked about doing but I had been so sick, I just kept putting it off. Brad is also working on my web-site and we should have that up and running soon for our RECNAC GIFTS.

I found this article about how we all our authors of our own life story, thought is was perfect for this post.

I do hope that each of us realize that we are in charge of our life. Are we truly living each day to the fullest? And if not....why?

Thanks to each of you for being an important part of my life's story, it wouldn't be the same without you!

"Write down the thoughts of the moment.  Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable."  ~Francis Bacon

The Final Chapter.
By: Audrina Jones Bunton

Several months ago, I read an article about a 22 year old, successful young lady who died a premature death in a plane crash. The more I read this article, the heavier my heart became because she died in the midst of her formative years. Equally tear-jerking was the fact that she died before completing a book that she was writing - before completing her final chapter.

Right now, your book is being written -- and you are the author. Every moment that passes, every day that appears and vanishes, your pages are being written. Every word you speak, every action you take -- shapes page after page in your book of life. How you live and how you treat others also shape the pages of your book -- from cover to cover.

In retrospect, perhaps the beginning of your book may not have been written well, because of mistakes, or unwise decisions -- but you can finish a bestseller. You can finish a bestseller, because you are the starring character and you, by your present and future actions, control how the final chapters of your book will read. You can finish as the winner by doing the things that you love and not taking your life, or others for granted.

Start a new chapter today - a chapter that would give you and others a delight to read. Enjoy who you are and what you do. Keep writing and live life to the fullest.

How does your book read thus far -- and -- what will your FINAL chapter say?


"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise.  The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."   ~Sylvia Plath

"When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing."  ~Enrique Jardiel Poncela