Hearts are heavy!

I just found out this week that a friend of mine passed away from Cancer. She was always a picture of health and really took care of her body. Just really makes you realize that Cancer is what it is, and it doesn't always make sense who does or does not get it.
I was thinking of going to her funeral, but not sure that I can or should. The last friend of mine that passed away from Cancer, I think I cried as much as the family did. I am sure I wasn't much help to them. It just hits too close to home for me.

What I do try and do is remember something wonderful about that person, and try to adapt their same character, attitude or whatever it was I admired about them. By trying to be more like them, hopefully a part of them will continue to live on through me!

I realized from my last friend that no matter what, she took photos and keep memories of her and her family.What a gift that was to them! Since then I have tried hard to take more photos of me with my family, friends and grand kids. Photos are a bit tough for me, so that was a big challenge, but oh so grateful that we have those memories in print.

This dear friend truly took care of herself. I am going to try even harder to do the best to eat right, exercise ( as much as I can ), and keep up my positive thinking. I will honor her by trying to do the best I can and live life to the very fullest.
Still they will be missed!

Here are a few quotes and poem that came to mind.
Good night dear friends!

In Our Hearts 

We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.

We thought about you yesterday,
And the days before that, too.

We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.

Now all we have is memories,
And your picture in a frame.

Your memory is our keepsake,
With which we'll never part.

God has you in His Keeping.
We have you in our Heart.  ~Author Unknown

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had."   - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 " A life may last just for a moment, but memory can make that moment last forever."

Making More Memories!

Angie was off school yesterday and today, and so you know what the means...she was hoping to come to my house and spend some time. I was excited all week for the girls to come (and of course Amy too) and spend the whole day and evening together. Amy helped me in redecorating my room, we made some projects in my sewing room, had Christmas music playing throughout the house ( that was totally my idea...but in my defense, it is my house ) and had homemade Pumpkin Butter cooking in the crock pot. Yes, it was a day of fun, creating and hopefully many memories!


Angie is 8 and I wonder how many more years she will want to come to Nana's house on her days off? Maybe not too many more, so I feel like when they all come over that I want to make as many memories as we can. And that is exactly what we did today, it was so much fun!


 I meant to say and we watched a movie ! It's late and I am pretty tired, happy ...but tired!
We let Amy and John go on their Date Night tonight, while we watched the girls. Audrey was pretty funny and I was lucky to get some fun photos of her and her baby! In case you haven't read my other posts and wonder why this is such a big deal? It is because her 2 older sisters never really liked dolls much, they totally prefer Dinosaurs! That's why this was such a big treat tonight to watch her rock, sing to, pray with and feed her sweet baby!

So it was a great day. I wish that Kai lived closer so we could have lots of Memory Days like this. Well, we did have some of those when he was here for 2 weeks, but his Nana still misses him!
I am grateful to be a Nana, never thought I could love anyone like my own children...but I do!
Going to bed with a grateful heart that I have this time with my sweet grandchildren. Yes, I am very blessed and I hope these Memories will stay in their hearts for years to come!

My heart feels WARM!

Last week when I was staying with my daughter and family, I had just finished the older girls shower and teeth brushing. We were reading the scriptures and then my oldest Granddaughter had a question before we said our prayers and went to bed. "How do you know how your Mom and Dad will protect you if there is a fire? What if they don't hear me when I yell for help? What about a tornado, what will happen to us then?" And then she asked a few more questions that showed me she is learning an awful lot in school, but that she takes every thing literally and was quite scared about a lot of things
As I tried to remind her what Christ said right before His Crucifixion, was that He said even when He left them, he would not leave them comfortless but that He would send them the Holy Ghost. Then I went on and tried to explain the Holy Ghost to her, her Mom was in the room so we both were trying to share from our hearts. Then when she finally felt safe and not so scared she said " I have this warm feeling in my heart when you were talking, does that what the Holy Ghost feels like? 
 Yes, that is exactly how it feels to many people, other people cry because they feel the Spirit so strong, to some it may come as a whispering or as a thought. Whatever the way, I realized that I need to rely on the Spirit more each day to guide and direct my life. I need to not let my fears get bigger than me, and I definitely need to live my life in such a manner that I am worthy to have the Spirit to guide me!
How grateful I am for little children. For their child like faith and for their example to all of us to keep searching and keep asking ...until we get that WARM FEELING in our HEARTS!
Good night dear friends!

Questions to ask ourselves!

 This it what I learned in our Sunday School lesson today. It really made me think. I thought I would share some of the notes from it!
Hope you will take the time to figure out what your answers would be too!
Good night dear friends!

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me and know my thoughts; see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead in the way everlasting”

Think about…
                “Who am I?” 
                                If you were to write down who you think you are what would you write about yourself?
                                What recommendations or introduction would you write about yourself?
                                What would your tombstone say?

In our life time we should desire to have our heart right before the Lord, in this scripture I think He encourages us to examine our own worthiness.

I am still thinking about how I would answer these questions?

                “Who DO I want to be?”
                                What do you feel you need to do to improve yourself?
                                What would you like to learn?
                                What gifts do you have that could be improved upon or shared with others?


If we have established a proper character, we can confidently invite God to search our hearts.

Little boys!

Introducing my 3rd grandchild ( first grandson ) Hezekiah William, isn't he too cute! Found this sweet poem, and for those of us who have boys grown up now becoming Dad's themselves...it was very fitting!   Good night dear friends!

You Are...

Someone once called you
Snips, Snails, Puppy-Dog Tails--
but I know you
and you are
mud-puddle-splashing and
secret-fort-building and
living-room-floor-wrestling and
sometimes even sweet-sibling-hugging
you are
coated with the dust and dirt of
boyhood play--
high-top tennis shoes and falling-down socks
blistered palms from too much free-throw practice
chlorine-damp hair from a splashy cannonball dive into the pool
you are
eating your veggies
only with the promise that they'll make you big and strong
you are
giggling in your pj's at Saturday morning cartoons
you are
letting the dog lick your face and
you are
laughing
you are
scrubbed and tubbed
hair combed (until
it rumples on your pillow
when you settle in to sleep)
and there in your dreams
you are
a cowboy, a fireman,
a dump-truck driver,
an astronaut,
Michael Jordan
but in my dreams
(my daydreams and my night dreams)
you are
a grown, gentle man with
a lighted smile, shining eyes--
you are
in candlelight,
kissing your beautiful new bride--
you are
in night-light,
singing soft lullabies to your babies in their beds,
and smoothing their bath-damp hair
for I know you and
that's what my little boy is made of.  ~(Nikki Blair )
Found the poem here:

“You’ll never know how much I love you…..not until the son becomes a father.” ~ Uknown

In our Hearts

Last night for Family Home Evening, we helped clean out someone's home. Our friend lost her Mother and we were helping her go through all her stuff, and try to set things up so she could have an Estate Sale. She said that her Mother had lived in that home for 30 years, and  you could tell that by all the things that she had accumulated. I thought as we went through things, how sad it is in a way, that these things that meant so much to her but don't have the same value to those around her. Of course some things did and were very precious to her family, but we weren't really dealing with that we were dealing with all the stuff in her cupboards and garage.

It made me realize that I need to go through my stuff and see what I really need and then try to find a home for the rest, that I probably don't need. My friend's heart is breaking, it seems sometimes the circumstances are such that you just have to keep going, planning things like the funeral, reading the will, dividing things up, worrying about selling the family home and on and on. It doesn't seem fair that some of that can't wait until you are properly done mourning for your loved one. But that is not the way it is, some things have to be done right now. I saw how her heart was breaking and how tired she was. We were glad to help in some small way. I found this poem and it made me glad that death doesn't take away our love and memories of them. I am glad that they always stay in our hearts. Good night dear friends!

In Our Hearts
Author Unknown

We thought of you with love today,
But that is nothing new.

We thought about you yesterday,
And the days before that, too.

We think of you in silence.
We often speak your name.

Now all we have is memories,
And your picture in a frame.

Your memory is our keepsake,
With which we'll never part.

God has you in His Keeping.
We have you in our Heart.

 

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up -- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had."

- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."  ~From a headstone in Ireland

Love of a Family!

It is late, and for some reason I am really tired so... I will leave this sweet quote with you.
Plus, a reminder that Valentine's Day is tomorrow, don't forget to Share The LOVE!

Don’t write your name on sand, waves will wash it away.
Don’t write your name in sky, wind may blow it away.

Write your name in hearts of people you come in touch with.
That’s where it will stay.

"A happy family is but an earlier heaven."
-- John Bowring

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."
-- Jane Howard

Close in Heart!

    I have a dear friend, who is struggling in her marriage. I watch, as she bravely tries to save her marriage and sweet family. She is willing to forgive, change and even try again. What an amazing lady she is, she isn't just giving up and quitting...she is doing the hard stuff like WORKING on her marriage. Like most of us realize, it takes a lot of work to have a happy marriage and there are times...it is very hard work, but it is worth it!

    I have another dear friend, who is having a knee replacement tomorrow. She is pretty scared and as I visited with her tonight, I wanted to some how take that fear away and replace it with peace and confidence, but I couldn't. I told her that we would keep her in our prayers, I know that prayers truly make a difference, I hope she believes that too! As I left her house tonight, she gave me this sweet article that a dear friend sent her. She thought I might be able to use it for my blog...she was right!

    I loved the message of appreciating the relationships and friendships we have right now, while we have them!
So with that, I will say thank you for your love, support and friendship throughout the years. You have truly changed my life for the better. Good night dear friends!

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee-shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress; lawn mower in his hand, and dish-towel in hers. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.
It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there would always be more. But then my mother became ill, and on that clear summer’s night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any more. Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away, never to return. So while we have it, its best we love it, and care for it, and fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick.
This is true — for marriage, and old cars, and children with bad report cards, dogs and cats with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special ... And so, we keep them close in heart and mind and spirit.   http://www.tvilletimes.com/view/full_story/8949209/article-Reminders-of-the-good-ole-days?instance=most_popular

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our facer, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not still friends."

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.   ( Christopher Robin to Pooh ) ~ A. A. Milne

"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you."  ~ Winnie the Pooh

 

Missed my calling in life!

All my life, I have loved decorating. I used to like going downtown with my Mom, and look at all the store windows. I thought what a neat job that would be, to decorate the windows. Many times when my friend's come over to see my house all decorated, they say to me "Lynn, you surely missed your calling in life...you should have been a  decorator". I just smiled, actually all I ever wanted to do my whole life was be a MOM, and so I don't think I missed my calling at all. Still I would love to be a STAGER (for people who are getting ready to sell their home) or to decorate shops for the holidays.
I really scaled down this year, not sure why? Just felt like I needed a change, and probably because it was a little simpler... with less. I hate even saying that, because I always thought it was sad to hear people say " Oh I am getting so old or tired of all my stuff, I am just not going to put it up anymore." Put to be honest with you, I am beginning to understand what they mean a little bit now. Perspective is an amazing thing, so often we judge because we don't understand,and then when we experience it for ourselves ...we suddenly understand a little more. I think that is just simply called... hard earned WISDOM!
How grateful I am for my grandchildren, who will never probably let me stop decorating. I truly love it, but it does take a toll on my poor old body!  Tomorrow is December 1st and I want to be done by then, so I can sit back and enjoy all the holidays with everyone!
I hope you are able to decorate your home some, so you too can get in the holiday mood?

"Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time."   ~Laura Ingalls Wilder

 

"It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air."    ~ W.T. Ellis

 

"The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others' burdens, easing other's loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of Christmas"   ~W. C. Jones

Heart of the Home!

I have always heard that Mothers are the heart of the Home. I do believe that is true.
Yesterday, I went to visit my dear friend, whose Mom ( also my friend ) passed away this August from Cancer. As I walked into their home, I realized that although the home looked nice, it missed the homey touches that their wife and Mother always provided. We didn't stay long, just needed to drop something off, but it was different to go in their home and not see my friend's smiling face. I miss her. There was a definite void, not that we mentioned it, but you could really feel the difference and that made me sad. When I got home and out of my kid's sight, I just broke down and cried. I wondered what my home would look and feel like, if I died. I worried about my kids and how they would do. How do you handle a void that big? How do you handle the loneliness? I know all the answers, but it doesn't seem to make it any easier at the very beginning of such a huge challenge.

When my Mom  passed away, I never went back to our Farm house again. When my brother's did, they said it really looked totally different with just Dad living there on his own. I am grateful that I didn't have to experience my home without my Mother there. Yes, the home is totally different without Mom in it.

I hugged my young friend 2 or 3  times, I imagine that she needed it...or maybe I just did! So that is still hanging with me some. Every time I think of them, I tear up. I wish those who still have their Mothers with them, would tell her how much they love and need her. Living without a Mom is really tough. Ok, now my heart is aching again and it is close to the Holidays (that's when I really start missing family) so... I had better close, or at least change the subject.

On a happy note, I was able to go and teach at the Quilt Shop again today. How grateful I am for my up time. It used to be, that I had to be down most of the day and now I am up and out, more often than not...it feels great! I love being around all those incredible ladies and being around all that much beautiful fabric, doesn't hurt either!   ( If only I had lots of money to spend there ).

Well thanks for listening dear friends, you are all such a big  part of my life...yes each of you! Have a wonderful evening.

"A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, "where mother is."
-- Keith L. Brooks

"A mother holds her children's hands for a while...their hearts forever."
-- Author Unknown

"Children and mothers never truly part -
Bound in the beating of each other's heart."
-- Charlotte Gray

Finding HOPE!

Yesterday I had the opportunity to see my friend, whose husband passed away last month. She was holding up well she said, but she also feels like she is definitely still in shock. She knows the grieve will come. I finally was able to tell her why I hadn't called or even sent a card. I tried to express to her how it hurts to see someone you know, die of the very same disease that you, yourself have battled. It doesn't really matter if you were close to them, it still hurts and hurts bad. She was kind to try and understand, and then went on to tell me about the few last days they had together. They were much shorter than the Doctors predicted. I tried to not cry as she spoke, I could tell once again, my heart began aching and I wanted to some how to ease her pain. Yet I also know that her faith is strong, and that she will make it with the help of her Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ.  Tonight I will leave you with this beautiful poem about Death, I don't think I have used it before. If I did, I am sorry... but I think it bears repeating. Good night dear friends!

"Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again! "

"Fear needs to give away to faith in order for us to access the Lord's guidance and comfort"

Matthew 11:29-30 "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me;...and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

"I felt as if the sun had burst through the clouds after a long, dark storm."

Happy Valentine's Day!

Lauren sent me this photo that she took yesterday at the flower shop. She thought that I could use it for my Valentine's Day post. It is perfect for story that I had to share. Thank you Lauren, for once again sharing your talent with me and so many others. I just LOVE the way you capture the simple beauties of the world through the lens of your camera!

Red Roses

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day." "My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair. While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain. Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.""The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance." "Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.

There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago." "Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here, That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card. Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote..."Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone, I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.

The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife." "You were my friend and everything, you fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.""When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.I have always loved you and I know I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, when your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,

To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him, And place the roses where we are, together once again."  ~Lady J's Blog by Lightworkers

   "You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love." ~ Henry Drummond