Showing posts with label judgements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label judgements. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Motherhood

Motherhood has never gotten the credit that I think it deserves. I am always worried about young Mothers who now a days spend so much time on Internets and looking at blogs. I have also heard many young Mothers say how frustrated they get seeing all these successful Moms who seem to have it all, do it all, they are beautiful, thin, talented, successful, they have beautiful homes, handsome and perfect husbands, perfect kids and on and on. The truth is NO MOTHER can do it all. If they are successful and on and on, someone has to be  helping them do all the Mother things that they can't be doing while they are doing their business.
Once I had a full time working Mom, ask me what I did all day? I told her, I do everything you pay someone else to do for your family, while you work.
Now I don't have any bad opinions on working Moms, but I just want people to understand that the hardest job for any woman... is to be a Full Time Mom! That's why I thought this quote was so funny.
Hats off to all the hard working MOTHERS in the world, you help make the world a better place by the incredible children you raise! You really are making a difference, don't ever forget that!

Pinned Image
"All mothers are working mothers." ~Author Unknown

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." ~Abraham Lincoln


"When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child." ~Sophia Loren, Women and Beauty

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Being careful in our judgements!

   Sunday my husband was asked to give a lesson on Judging Others, he did such an incredible job, I thought that is what I would share with you tonight. Maybe I should let him write my blog, he has such a way with words...but it takes him a long time to write them so...guess you are still stuck with me!
Good night dear friends!

   "My wife, Lynn, and I recently returned from a trip to Rexburg, Idaho where we attended the graduation ceremonies of our son and daughter-in-law from BYU-I.  On the flight home I was reminded of a story:

The Cookie Thief
A woman was waiting at the airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shop,
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.
She was engrossed in her book, but happened to see,
That the man beside her, as bold as could be,
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.
She read, munched cookie, and watched the clock,
As the gutsy “cookie thief” diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I’d blacken his eye!”
With each cookie she took, he took one too.
When only one was left, she wondered what he’d do.
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.
He offered her half, and he ate the other.
She snatched it from him and thought, “Oh brother,
This guy has some nerve, and he’s also so rude,
Why, he didn’t even show any gratitude!”
She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate,
Refusing to look at the “thieving ingrate”.
She boarded the plane and sank in her seat,
Then sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise.
There were her bag of cookies in front of her eyes!
“If mine are here,” she moaned with despair,
“Then the others were his and he tried to share!”
Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief!!!


   If you are as human as I, you often make judgments regarding a person’s character without full knowledge of the facts.  This can, on occasion, lead to some incorrect assumptions about an individual and the way we interact with them.
   The Savior, in responding to a lawyer’s question of “who is my neighbor” said:
“Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment”
   Many times we label individuals according to our first impressions of them.  A person who has their children doing tasks around the home that should be done by an adult may be someone who is suffering with a physical ailment and is in need of extra help.  A young adult who is acting rebellious or angry against authority may be someone who is being abused.  And a person who doesn’t believe in God, is angry all the time, distant, or has a hard time forming relationships may be someone who has lost a loved one and doesn’t know how to deal with that loss. 
   Each of us may encounter someone that is having problems that we know nothing about.   As we encounter these individuals, we must remember to keep our hearts and minds open to what hardships they may be experiencing and not be the “cookie thief” who judges someone before you know all the facts.
   Here is a description of someone you might judge.  See if you can identify this individual.
He had a singular way of walking, which gave the impression that his long, gaunt frame needed oiling.  He plodded forward in an awkward manner, hands hanging at his sides or folded behind his back.  His step had no spring. He lifted his whole foot at once rather than lifting from the toes and then thrust the whole foot down on the ground rather than landing on his heal.  His legs seemed to drag from the knees down, like those of a laborer going home after a hard day’s work.  His features were not such “as belong to a handsome man.”  In repose, his face was overspread with sadness.  Yet, when Abraham Lincoln began to speak this expression of sorrow dropped from him instantly.  His face lighted up with a winning smile, and where before there was a face leaden with sorrow now beheld keen intelligence, genuine kindness of heart, and the promise of true friendship.  If his appearance seemed somewhat odd, what captivated admirers was “his winning manner, his ready good humor, and his unaffected kindness and gentleness.”  Five minutes in his presence, and “you cease to think that he is either homely or awkward.
   Everyone has a story.  We should be reserved in our judgment of others. We may still, in all our human weaknesses, judge others but we should know the facts as much as we can. The Lord loves and cares for all of us. We need to be as caring and loving to our fellowman as he is to us."  ~ Jeff Woodard May 29,2011

"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."                   ~ Paul Coelho

"We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions."  ~ Ian Percy

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Being a Pleaser!

Most of my life I have been a pleaser and that has never worked out to my benefit, why you might ask? Well, that is because you really can't please everyone! So when I found this cute story about this subject, I knew I wanted to share it with you. Hope you enjoy it! Good night dear friends!

 

You Can’t Please Everyone

 

An old fable that has been passed down for generations tells about an elderly man who was traveling with a boy and a donkey. As they walked through a village, the man was leading the donkey and the boy was walking behind. The townspeople said the old man was a fool for not riding, so to please them he climbed up on the animal’s back. When they came to the next village, the people said the old man was cruel to let the child walk while he enjoyed the ride. So, to please them, he got off and set the boy on the animal’s back and continued on his way. In the third village, people accused the child of being lazy for making the old man walk, and the suggestion was made that they both ride. So the man climbed on and they set off again. In the fourth village, the townspeople were indignant at the cruelty to the donkey because he was made to carry two people. The frustrated man was last seen carrying the donkey down the road.

We smile, but this story makes a good point: We can’t please everybody, and if we try we end up carrying a heavy burden.

"If you're trying to please everyone, then you're not going to make anything that is honestly yours, I don't think, in the long run."  ~ Viggo Mortensen

 

Monday, March 7, 2011

Always watching

I had an interesting experience this week and it was a great reminder to me that what you do and say is always being watched by others. Not in a bad way, but actually in a very good way. ( Now this photo I just liked, it is not that I think people watch us that closely. This photo of our Lauren makes me smile, I love how she sees and captures the beautiful things and moments of this world, through her lens.)

Anyway, back to my experience. I was in doctor appointment and as I was leaving, one of the workers said rather loud..."I was really disappointed". I looked back to see who he was talking to, and realized he was talking to me. I must have had a very confused look on my face because he then, clarified what he was saying. "I was really disappointed at BYU, or I should say at the player on their basketball team."
Many of you might have seen on the news that this BYU player he was talking about, is being suspended from playing on the team because he broke the Honor Code of the school. To say the least, I was shocked to hear him start a conversation like that. We went on to to talk about the Code of Honor that BYU has for all of their students, and the chance that the team might miss going to the championship tournament in March, because of this key player's choices. He asked more about the Honor Code and what all that really meant. I was grateful to share my opinion on the purpose of the Honor Code, I also told him that Jeff and I have that same type of Honor Code in our home by which we live and teach to our kids. I shared with him our ability to make any choices that we want in life, but how we can not chose the consequences from those choices. Some time the consequences seem to far out weigh the original choice or sin, although that may be true, that is not up to us. But we do have the ability to make the right choice and many times that might be hard to do. At the end of our conversation he said, " I am actually very impressed that a school would have such an Honor Code, and that there are people who live up to that." I am sorry to say that my son Lee hasn't had the same positive response at school. Many of the kids have teased or shared their opinion, on how stupid such rules are and why it shouldn't be that big of a deal. I was sorry to hear that so many people were making such a big deal of it to Lee. Yes, sometimes being a Mormon is hard for just that reason.

It just made me realize that even though I don't wear a sign on me saying that "I AM A MORMON!", I realize people watch me, just like I watch others. I have many friends from many different religious beliefs, and yet we respect each others differences and opinions, and still we are the best of friends. Someone may have been reading this blog and thought, why hasn't Lynn ever said that she is a Mormon? Does she have something to hide? Is she ashamed of her religion? It is not that I am trying to hide or be ashamed of anything, quite the opposite. I just share with you each day ...my life, my thoughts, my experiences. I hope you judge me by the life I lead, and not judge me for the fact that all you know is that I am a Mormon. I was raised in West Virginia, there were only a few kids in our whole school were Mormons, there was a lot of misconceptions about what we believed.I know first hand how mistreated and judged you can be for being different.

Actually everything I am is because of what I believe, I am not ashamed of that. My beliefs make my life better, the truths that I have, give me peace and hope.  I am truly grateful for that. I hope that I am a better person because of my beliefs. If you want to know more about what I believe, feel free to ask me or just go to to this link...    LDS.org

So the bottom line is this...we are watch each other, we have great examples in front of us daily. If you want to know why a person is happy,different or content, then just ask them. If you want to know what a person is really like, you can ask them, but you also need to watch how they live, how they treat others, how they treat their family, just watch what they do. Our examples will always speak louder than our words.
Good night dear friends!

"No accurate thinker will judge another person by that which the other person's enemies say about him"  ~ Napoleon Hill

"I have always thought the actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts."  ~John Locke

"Respect is what we owe; love, what we give"  ~ Philip James Bailey

 

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Don't forget there are Angels among us!

I found this story on inspireme.com. It really made me realize, that we might not know the whole story about people when we first meet them. I do believe our paths cross with people for a reason. I just hope, we don't miss the reason why! Good night dear friends


Don't We All
One evening I was parked in front of the mall wiping off my car. I had just come from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to finish work. Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would consider a bum. From the looks of him he had no car, no home, no clean clothes and no money.

There are times when you feel generous, but there are times that you just don't want to be bothered. This was one of the "Don't want to be bothered" times! "Hope he doesn't ask me for money," I thought. He didn't. He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop and he didn't look like he could have enough money to even ride the bus.

After a few minutes he spoke. "That's a very nice car," he said. He was ragged, but had an air of dignity around him. I said "Thanks," and continued wiping off my car. He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea for money never came. As the silence between us widened, something inside said, "Ask him if he needs any help." I was sure that he would say yes, but I held true to the inner voice.

"Do you need any help?" I asked. He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great accomplishments. I expect it from those of higher learning and accomplishments. I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke three words that shook me, "Don't we all?" he said. I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached in my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day.

Those three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help. Even if it's just a compliment, you can give that!

You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don't have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse of something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos, that only you, through a torn world can see.

Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more than that. Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise to minister to a soul too comfortable in himself. Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed him like a bum and then said, "Go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help."

Don't we all?

"I haven't lost faith in human nature and I haven't decided to be less compassionate to strangers"                        ~ Armistead Maupin

"It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others."  ~ Carol Burnett

Friday, March 19, 2010

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil!

Filtering can help us in lots of areas in our lives. This story was a perfect example of that!    Enjoy!

The Socrates Triple Filter Test
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.
One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Do you know what I just heard about your friend?"
Hold on a minute," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
Triple filter?"
That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say. That's why I call it the triple filter test.
The first filter is TRUTH. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and..."
All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of GOODNESS. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?"
No, on the contrary..."
So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left: the filter of USEFULNESS. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?"
No, not really."
Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"
This is why Socrates was a great philosopher & held in such high esteem. Friends, use this triple filter each time you hear loose talk about any of your near & dear friends.
Be Blessed....   ~ M. Peer mohamed Sardhar

"Live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip."  ~ Will Rogers

"Gossip needn't be false to be evil-there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around."  ~ Frank A. Clark

Sunday, February 28, 2010

First Impressions

Since I was a little girl, I was told "You Never Get A Chance To Make Another First Impression". I remember my Mom and Dad trying to teach us to watch what we did and said, because others would always be watching us. I too have tried to pass that on to my kids.

But with that said, I have to admit one of my favorite friends now, is a person that I judged quite harshly. We had a mutual friend who had heard us both talk about each other. She laughed because she said that we were so much alike. So after a rather embarrassing confrontation about it, we were able to realize that we had judged each other wrongfully and laughed at how we first met and our impressions with each other. We were amazed at how in some areas, we were a lot alike. I have become close to this dear friend and his family. What a blessing they have been in my life. This poem reminded me of that experience and how I might have missed the opportunity to know them, had not a friend intervened. Yes, this poem was a great reminder that our first impressions of someone might not always be accurate. It has made me try to reserve my judgements until I have looked a bit further and when needed give them another chance. Life... is full of lessons isn't it?

First Impressions

It is not right to judge a man

By hasty glance or passing whim,

Or think that first impressions can

Tell all there is to know of him.

Who knows what weight of weariness

The man we rashly judge may bear,

The burden of his loneliness,

His blighted hopes, his secret care.

A pompous guise or air of pride

May only be an outward screen,

A compensation meant to hide

A baffled will, a grief unseen.

However odd a person seems,

However strange his ways may be,

Within each human spirit gleams

A spark of true divinity.

So what can first impressions tell?

Unthinking judgments will not do,

Who really knows a person well

May also come to like him too! ~ Alfred Grant Walton

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." ~ Mother Teresa

" Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances." ~ Wayne Dyer