Bigger than me day!

Sometimes I wonder why certain things happen in multiples? Maybe because it takes more patience, courage and understanding to handle them. I really don't need to tell you all the struglles that I am going through right now, but it is probably safe to say that the last couple of days have been a bit bigger than me.

Right now I am at my daughter's house using her computer (as I babysit the girls).I won't be able to put a photo with my post because ...all my photos are on the hard drive of my computer that died a couple of days ago. I have had some dear friends try to retrieve all my information on the hard drive but so far no luck.

Even as I sit here tonight feeling a bit sorry for myself, I realize that things aren't really that bad and that I have a lot to be grateful for. Tonight we had a meeting at church and I sat with a dear friend of mine who is handicapped in many ways. When she was 18 years old, she was hit by a drunk driver, that left her speechless, unable to move any part of her body except her head, and very limited movement with her arms. Her courage and determination to keep smiling through this all has been amazing to me. As I sat with her tonight and held her hand, she just kept making noises that means she is happy. She and I met about 6 or so years ago, I instantly felt like a sister to her. Many people would think that she is totally handicapped but her mind is totally there and if you are with her in her room in her center where she lives, then she can use her computer to punch out one letter at a time with trying to steady the end of a pencil to talk to you. I realize that it takes time to wait for her to write. She often has to wipe her mouth, because she can't close her mouth very well, she drolls often, yet you will never EVER see her without a smile. I thought tonight how brave she is. What would it be like to know and see and feel things and yet never be able to really express them. I can't imagine, wanting to say something and have to wait until someone takes you to the computer and then waits for you to painstakingly try letter by letter to write it down. Yes, it truly made me realize, that I am NOT having a bigger than me day, I am just experiencing life and I should be grateful that I am healthy enough to call someone to fix my computer, walk to their house to pick it up. To call somewhere if I have a question...yes, my life is good and how grateful I am tonight for a dear friend, who has gone through so much, to teach me that JUST through her smile.

So please be patient with me and I try to learn how to use other people's computer and forgive me for my complaining and short sightedness.
Hope you had a wonderful day, Good night dear friends!

"It is a good thing to take LONG pauses in our pursuit of Happiness and just be HAPPY"

" We know what we are but not what we may be." ~ Shakespeare

Celebration!

Today I went to my friend's Memorial today. It was called a Celebration of Life and it truly was a celebration of her amazing life! I am so glad that I went, I was worried that I just couldn't handle it. I mean I love this family and to see them be in such pain was hard. My friend was a daughter, sister, wife, Mother and Grandmother. I put myself in her place and wondered how all these loved ones are going to make it without her. This death has hit so close to home that it has been hard on me.
But it was so positive and upbeat that I was grateful that I went. I also made some new commitments when I was there, after hearing so much about her life and all the Moments that she truly lived, I realized that I need to enjoy life more.
Many times, I miss out on things because of the pain that I have. Everything seems to have such a big cost, if I go to church and stay the whole time, then I am hurting so bad the next couple of days. If I go to one of Lee's games and sit on the bleachers ...then that kills my back. So pain does keep me away from many things, but I am determined to try harder to TRULY LIVE EACH MOMENT!  I want my family and friends .
She was one true follow of Christ, just like all of her family!  As a Mother, your greatest joy is knowing that the kids are close to the Lord and live their lives as they believe and were taught. I am sure she is very proud of them and she must have a sense of peace,, knowing that they will go on to make the world a better place.

Good bye my dear friend, I truly hope I can follow in your footsteps, you will be forever remembered and loved!

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth"  The Third Epistle of John

"To finish the moment, to find the journey's end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours is wisdom."     - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil."  ~John Taylor