I just flew home tonight from California. I was there to speak at a Women's Conference and celebrate my belated Birthday with some dear friends. It was a wonderful experience, I feel blessed that I had the opportunity to fly in and be a part of the Conference. I am always humbled by the chance I have to meet so many incredible women, to learn about their lives and to hopefully help and support them in some small way. What a WONERFUL weekend! Thank you to all of you who touched my life too!
Then on the way home, I saw an old friend of mine on the plane and we got to sit together. It had been a few years since we connected, so it was great. She isn't old (you know what I mean ) but we have been friends for a long time. She looked as beautiful as ever (inside and out ), it was fun catching up with her and lucky for us, we were able to give her a ride home and have even a little more time with her. This was a perfect ending for a perfect weekend!
Some of the ladies from the Conference, asked if I would put my talk on my blog tonight and so here it is.
By Small and Simple Things ( Women's Conference in Modesto, CA 10/19/2013 )
16 years ago I fractured my back in two places and
herniated 2 discs. I was in a wheelchair for a year and the only up time I had was going to Physical
Therapy. Near the end of that year, my
Physical Therapist asked me if I knew how to swim, I said sorta...I can dog
paddle. No he said, I need to do swim like the crawl stroke " I then asked
if that meant my face needed to be down in the water? " His reply "Yes, that is the only way that you can
get your back and core strong" I knew after my core was weak after having 4
C-sections Swimming was probably the only sport that would get me
exercise and strength without hurting my joints and so..... I went to the pool.
I forgot to mention to the therapist that I almost
drowned in an over crowed public pool when I was in Jr High. Still I knew I
probably didn't have much of a choice so.... I decided that I would Aqua Jog .
With Aqua jogging you put a floatation belt around your waist and you just run
underwater ( in the deep end of course). So there I was every day aqua jogging
and watching all the swimmers. I studied everything there was about them, what
position their hand was in when it entered the water, how many strokes did they
do before they turned to swim? I asked what the different strokes were called.
How many strokes they did before they took a breath? Do you turn and breath or
both sides or just one? Yes, every day I
watched intently to see what I was going to have to do to become a swimmer some
day.
One day I came home and asked Jeff if he could get me a SWIM
CAP ( I wasn't driving at this point yet )? His response was " I
thought you didn't put your head under the water because you are aqua
jogging? Well I said, if I am going to
be a swimmer some day, I am going to have to have a Swim Cap, all the swimmers
have them. Plus the Swim Cap keeps your hair out of your face when you swim
and protects your hair from turning GREEN. And so he got me a Swim Cap. Proudly
I wore my new Swim Cap the next morning as I aqua jogged and continued to study
the swimmers.
A month or so
later, I asked Jeff when he picked me up from the pool, if he would buy me some
Goggles? Again he gave me
that same questionable look and said " Now Lynn, why do you need Goggles,
if you never put your head down in the water? Well, Jeff everyone wears them,
they have them sitting right here on top of your head, and if I am going to be
a swimmer some day, then I am going to have to have Goggles. Plus, the
goggles do help you see under the water and helps you to swim straight so you
don't wonder over into another swimmers
lane, and they protect your eyes from all the chlorine.
Thank goodness he had pity on me and got me some Goggles. So you see I looked
like a swimmer much sooner than I became one. I don't remember the time line
exactly, but I continued like that for quite some time. Someone asked me once,
why I didn't take lessons simply put, my medical bills were causing our money
to be tight enough. And so I continued to jog and observe.
Finally the day came where I thought I would try and
swim. I put my goggles over my eyes and tried to do the crawl stroke, face down
in the water. I was scared to death but I shouldn't have been... because I left
on the Aqua Jogging Belt, so there was no way that I was going to drown. I swam
like that until I felt like maybe I could do it myself ( I won't tell you how
many months that was ).
When I actually took the belt off, I was
shocked at how much breath it takes to swim just one lap. Not sure that my
lungs could take it, and worse is that when I got almost to the end of the pool
( which is the deepest part) I would look down (through my nice goggles ) and
realize that I might not make it. It seemed that my body was not straight and aligned
in the water like the other swimmers. I felt like I was swimming this
way at an angle and that my legs were just too heavy. I thought maybe it's because my calves are so
big? Everyone always teased me about them all my life, maybe that was it. Then
I thought well there are others swimmers who had calves bigger than mine ( ok,
well there was at least one man who had
calves bigger than mine but still...he could swim just fine.
So I got on the
computer and looked up what swimmers did that had trouble with keeping their
legs up and level with their bodies. I
found that one thing you could do was to use training flippers ...they were called Zoomers. I wanted to them immediately, if it could help me
get to one end of the pool to the other a little faster and more efficient .. I
was all for that. And so Jeff bought me.....Zoomers and they worked...I swam a
bit faster, with much more efficient kicks and it helped also strengthen my
lower back and my core. A year from my pool experience, I began to swim a mile
a day. I did that for almost 3 years and then I fell and hurt my neck.
That was many years ago and I never got back to the pool again.
Then after having a car accident this past December my
Physical Therapist ( who was different than I had before ) suggested that I
learn to swim. I was nice and didn't go into the whole story of what I
accomplished so many years ago. You guessed it, I knew I didn't have any
choice, so I bought all of those 3
important items AGAIN and also purchased a swimming prosthetic. This
time getting in the pool was not only painful because it had been so many years and
my body had changed in so many ways since my surgery and my age ... My youngest
daughter Lauren is home right now from college doing her internship and she is
a swimmer. So for the first week she came with me for moral support and
promised that she would swim down and get my prosthetic if by chance it fell
out. Now the money for a special suit
was very expensive so I just decided to use it in my regular suit, they are
tight any way so it would probably stay. However after the first lap, I found
my prosthetic down near my belly button, so I went and got a new suit, so far
so good. It has only been a month now but it feels good to be back in the water
and exercising again!
Now you are probably wondering what swimming has to do
with anything that we are talking about today? Well, remember that I told you
that I watched and studied swimmers every day because that is what I wanted to
become right? That is also true in my
life as a Mom, Wife, Sister and Friend. Since I was a little girl, I have
always admired, looked up to and wanted to be like so many people in life,
particularly those in the world who are
Happy, Overcomers, Survivors, Helpers, those people who are half full and ones
that have such great JOY in their lives even though life has thrown them many tough
situations. I have my whole life studied, observed, watched and tried to see
what makes these people the way they are.
Like the people in this quote by ~ Robertson Davies
"Extraordinary people survive under the most
terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of
it"
Where
do you find these people? Well, they are everywhere. We can read about them in
the news, we can read about them in the scriptures, we know people in our
family or in our neighborhoods. Probably many of you in this room are already
like that.
There
are a whole lot of them out there and so if we really want to be like them...we
need to put forth the effort to see what makes them do what they do?
I
like the way Mr. Roger's Mom tried to explained
it to him ...
"When I
was a child and would see scary things on the news, my mother would say to me,
'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.''
That is my
ultimate goal in life...to be a Helper.
So what is that these
people have that bring them this joy. It is a Secret?
Many
people have spent their whole life looking for it The Secret of Life, others have spent $1000s of
dollars trying to obtain it and yet others have sacrificed thing of great
importance just to find it.
I
certainly don't think it is a secret. I think the Lord has told us over and
over again how to find it.
I
believe it comes down to 3 things that these type of people have, maybe in
varying degrees but I would say that most of them have these 3 things, and
because they have them, then they have JOY, the type of joy that everyone
wishes they had. So let's talk about what these 3 things are.
1st
is FAITH
Brother
Gerald Lund describes it this way in his book called Divine Signatures
"To strengthen our faith and
deepen our testimony to the point that we can successfully endure to the end,
we must know for ourselves with a surety that:
God is our Heavenly Father, and we are
His literal children.
He and His Beloved Son want us to be happy and eventually come to a fullness of
Joy.
They know us intimately and love us infinitely
They want to bless us, and they actually take great joy in doing so
So, is it possible to strengthen our
faith and deepen our testimony to the point that we can endure whatever life
holds in store for us and come out stronger than before?
Yes, it is! " Close quote
As
a young missionary ( some 30 or so years ago ) I remembered one of my favorite
things to teach others about our church was The Plan of Salvation, it was in
this lesson that we taught them the answers to the questions Where
did I come from? Why am I here ? And where am I going after this life? When
they truly understood these answers, and when they prayed and found out through
the Spirit of the Lord, that it was true. Once they obtained that testimony by
the spirit, their lives began to change for the better.
“The Spirit of the Holy Ghost is the
greatest guarantor of inward peace in an unstable world…it will calm nerves; it
will breath peace to our souls…it can enhance our natural senses so that we can
see more clearly, hear more keenly and remember what we should remember. It is
a way of maximizing our happiness." ~James E. Faust
A
great example of this, was story of Amanda Barnes Smith during a time of persecution and suffering of the Saints at
Haun's Mill.
When
the mob came to Haun’s Mill, Amanda Barnes Smith ran away with her two
daughters, and they were not injured. After the shooting stopped, Sister Smith
came back to see what had happened to her husband and sons. She later wrote:
“Emerging
from the blacksmith shop was my eldest son, bearing on his shoulders his little
brother Alma. ‘Oh! my Alma is dead!’ I cried, in anguish. ‘No, Mother; I think
Alma is not dead. But Father and brother Sardius are killed!’ …
“… The
entire hip joint of my wounded boy had been shot away. Flesh, hip bone, joint,
and all had been ploughed out from the muzzle of the gun which the ruffian
placed to the child’s hip through the logs of the shop and deliberately fired.
We laid little Alma on a bed in our tent and I examined the wound. It was a
ghastly sight. I knew not what to do. It was night now. …
“… ‘Oh,
my Heavenly Father,’ I cried, ‘what shall I do? Thou seest my poor wounded boy
and knowest my inexperience. Oh, Heavenly Father direct me what to do!’ And
then I was directed as by a voice speaking to me.
“The
ashes of our fire was still smouldering. We had been burning the bark of the
shag-bark hickory. I was directed to take those ashes and make a lye [a strong
disinfectant] and put a cloth saturated with it right into the wound. It hurt,
but little Alma was too near dead to heed it much. Again and again I saturated
the cloth and put it into the hole from which the hip joint had been ploughed,
and each time mashed flesh and splinters of bone came away with the cloth, and
the wound became as white as chicken’s flesh. Having done as directed I again
prayed to the Lord and was again instructed as distinctly as though a physician
had been standing by speaking to me. Nearby was a slippery-elm tree. From this
I was told to make a slippery-elm poultice and fill the wound with it. …
“I
removed the wounded boy to a house, some distance off, the next day, and
dressed his hip, the Lord directing me as before. I was reminded that in my
husband’s trunk there was a bottle of balsam. This I poured into the wound,
greatly soothing Alma’s pain. ‘Alma, my child,’ I said, ‘you believe that the
Lord made your hip?’ ‘Yes, Mother.’ ‘Well, the Lord can make something there in
the place of your hip, don’t you believe he can, Alma?’ ‘Do you think that the
Lord can, Mother?’ inquired the child, in his simplicity. ‘Yes, my son,’ I
replied, ‘he has shown it all to me in a vision.’ Then I laid him comfortably
on his face, and said: ‘Now you lie like that, and don’t move, and the Lord
will make you another hip.’
“So
Alma lay on his face for five weeks, until he was entirely recovered—a flexible
gristle having grown in place of the missing joint and socket.
I
have always wanted and strived to have that same type of faith that Amanda had,
as a Mother, I felt like I needed that to be able to help and support and teach
my children. During my battle with cancer ( both times ) I prayed and strived
to have my faith strong. I wanted my kids to know that I knew my Heavenly
Father would make me equal to whatever trial He gave me. I wanted them to know
that I had trust in Him and that we as a family could come out stronger and
better because of it.
"
Faith is a principle of action, we need to do something to obtain it" It
helps me to remember it this way...
"WE
ARE NOT MORTAL BEINGS HAVING SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCES. WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS
HAVING MORTAL EXPERIENCES" When I think of it that way,
then it makes more sense. If you believe that you are a child of God, that He
is literally our Heavenly Father who loves us, then we can know that everything
that happens...happens for a reason. Some of the greatest lessons I have learned
in my life...have come from some of the hardest things I ever had to do; and
many times after waiting for what seemed a long time before I understood their
meaning or purpose.
WE
NEED TO KNOW NOT ONLY THAT GOD IS AWARE OF US BUT THAT HE WILL HELP US -IF WE
BELIEVE IN AND SEEK AFTER HIM. WE CAN EXPECT TO HAVE CHALLENGES, DIFFICULT
DECISIONS, AND MOMENTS OF SHEER TERROR. IT IS OUR FAITH IN GOD THE FATHER AND
HIS SON JESUS CHRIST THAT WILL FILL US WITH PEACE AND HOPE, EVEN AMIDST
UNCERTAINTY" We know not what lies ahead of us. We know not what the
coming days will bring. We live in a world of uncertainty. For some, there will
be great accomplishment. For others, disappointment. For some, much of
rejoicing and gladness, good health, and gracious living. For others, perhaps
sickness and a measure of sorrow. We do not know. But one thing we do know.
Like the polar star in the heavens, regardless of what the future holds, there
stands the Redeemer of the world, the Son of God, certain and sure as the anchor
of our immortal lives. He is the rock of our salvation, our strength, our
comfort, the very focus of our faith." ~ Gordon B. Hinckley
My
earliest memory was at the age of 5, and I remember with such clarity being
abused by my grandfather.The physical abuse continued until I was 11 years old,
the verbal and emotional abuse went on until I was married and moved away. I
have spoken many times on this blog about being a Survivor, and what that
means...in hopes that anyone else out there who has been abused will realize it
is not their fault and that they too can survive horrible and tragic
experiences. Better than that, they can some day be happy, strong and a better
person because what they have overcome.
But
many years, counseling, tears, prayers
later and understanding, I realize that I can do all that I can do and then ask
my Heavenly Father to do the rest. I don't have to carry that unbelievable
burden alone, I realized that I never had really been alone, even when I
thought no one would ever find out that I was being abused, I never hesitated
to pray and ask for strength and courage. For 31 years, I have tried to
continue to tell my story and share my testimony that God lives and that you
never have to be truly Alone unless you choose to be
"Faith
is to believe what we do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what we
believe."
~ Saint Augustine
Second
is Hope
I
once heard a great story that helps bring this .topic to life...
One
day a teenaged boy went into a Candy store. He approached the Proprietor and
asked for 3 boxes of chocolates 1 one-pound of chocolates, 1 two-pound box of
chocolates, and 1 three-pound box of chocolates.
The
owner complied and began to fill the young man’s order and asked, “may I ask
you why need 3 boxes of chocolates”?
The
young man said:
“I
am going to a dance with a girl that I don’t know very well but I like her a
lot. If we go to the dance and she is shy and quite, and perhaps we dance a few
dances I will give her that 1-pound box of chocolates. If we go to the dance
and she is fun and we dance a lot and she holds my hand, I will give here that
2-pound box of chocolates. If we go to the dance and we dance close all night
long, hold hands and as the end of the night she gives me a kiss, I will give
her the 3-pound box of chocolates.
The
owner smiled, wished him good luck and rang the young man up for his order.
The
night of the dance arrived and the young man went to the house to retrieve his
date for the evening. Her parents invited him inside and they waited for her to
come downstairs. When she was finally ready she came down and said she was
ready to leave.
The
young man said:
“Do
you mind if we read some scriptures together with your parents before we go”?
She
thought this was a strange request but allowed it.
After
completing some verses she again resounded she was ready to leave.
The
young man said:
“Before
we go can we kneel down together and have a family prayer”?
She
again thought this to be strange but figured it would help her to get to the
dance so she allowed it.
After
the prayer she asked the young man again if they could leave, and he finally
agreed.
They
said goodbye to the parents and left.
As
they were walking to his car the young woman said”
I
have to be honest with you… I had no idea you were so spiritual”
The
young man replied:
“To
be honest… I had no idea your father owned a Candy Store”.
The
moral of the story:
"A
change in understanding can lead to a change in behavior"
FAITH
PROCEEDS HOPE, AND OPTIMISM IS THE OUTGROWTH OF HOPE!"
I
heard a great talk in church about hope and here are a few points that I wrote
down...
But
Why Then Is There Despair?
The
scriptures say that there must be “an opposition in all things.
The
adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness.
Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the
empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances
sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a
staircase that leads only and forever downward.
Hope,
on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon
of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It
encourages and inspires us to place our trust in God.
What,
Then, Is Hope?
Hope
is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His
promise to us. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered.
It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance.
The
things we hope in
sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through trials, temptations,
and sorrow. Everyone has experienced discouragement and difficulty. Indeed,
there are times when the darkness may seem unbearable. It is in these times divine principles we hope in can uphold us
and carry us until, once again, we walk in the light.
We
hope in Jesus the Christ, in the goodness of God, in the manifestations of the
Holy Spirit, in the knowledge that prayers are heard and answered. Because God
has been faithful and kept His promises in the past, we can hope with
confidence that God will keep His promises to us in the present and in the
future. In times of distress, we can hold tightly to the hope that things will
“work together for [our] good. This type of hope in God, His goodness, and His
power refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges and gives strength
to those who feel threatened by enclosing walls of fear, doubt, and despair
As
long as we have hope,
we
have direction,
the
energy to move,
and
the map to move by.
We
have a hundred alternatives,
a
thousand paths and infinity of dreams.
Hopeful,
we are halfway to where we want to go;
Hopeless,
we are lost forever.
Hope
is one of the prime differences between successful people and those who can
only see failure. Successful people have hope because they can clearly see their
goals. People who only see failure have no hope because they see no light, they
set no goals, and they see nothing accomplished. Successful people see
alternatives and are willing to try different ways. People who only see failure
are unable to see another way and give up to easily. With hope you are halfway
to where you want to go; by setting your goals, and taking the action to
achieve them, you will see your hope turn into your reality!
So
HOPE is the antidote for despair. It may not solve the problem but it can buoy
us up and give us the strength and courage we need to go on. We need to
remember to lift our heads up, look to God and find great help and
endurance. ( Look up my Soul by Gerald N. Lund )
Though
it is vital to our receiving that ultimate Joy that we have been talking about,
I have learned many times that you cannot really make people have hope, if they
don't want it. For me this is one of the saddest things I have experienced as a
Mother. To watch one of my children struggle so hard, have their faith tested so
and simply to lose HOPE. I have cried many tears, pleading with the Lord to
tell me what I need to do to help my child, but I knew in reality that they
have to desire it and obtain it for themselves. Sitting back and turning your
teenagers and adult children over to the Lord, is a very Sacred Place. I know in m heart that is
all I can do but still as a Mother, I want to help them... give them some of my
hope and my testimony, but I know it is ultimately their decision. I have tried
to turn it over to the Lord, knowing full well that He loves my child more than
I do but that He also gave this child and all of us, our free agency ( the
ability to choose for ourselves )
"Man
can live forty days without food, about three days without water, about eight
minutes without air, but only for one second without hope"
Now
our last principle...
They say that "Hope leads to good
works" and that is our 3rd topic
SERVICE
I
love the story in the book of John, chapter 5 verses 1-9. In Jerusalem
there by the sheep market was a pool which was called (in the Hebrew language)
Bethesda. This pool (like a hot springs or mineral springs) was known for it's
healing powers at certain times. When the water was moving( troubled ), then
the first person who got in, was to be made whole from their disease. Great
multitudes of people with various problems waited by the pool, to be the first
one in. The story goes on to tell about a invalid man who lived in Jerusalem
and had suffered with his disease for 38 years. Jesus saw him at the pool and
knowing he had been in that condition for a long time said unto him "Wilt
thou be made whole?" The impotent man answered him, 'Sir, I have no man,
when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool; but while I am coming,
another steppeth down before me' Jesus saith to him 'Rise, take up thy bed, and
walk'. And immediately the man was made whole, and took up his bed, and walked.
I
guess the obvious moral of the story is that with the Savior's help there were
many miracles that happened on a daily basis, but I also thought about what
this man must have felt like. Everyone was pushing and walking over or ahead of
him to help themselves. How many times do we rush by in life and not see,
someone who is in need of help. That takes time and patience. That takes really
looking outside of ourselves. It was a wonderful story and once again the
Savior's example was a perfect lesson for us all ...to slow down and personally
get involved with other people's lives. It not only will bless them, but our
lives will be better too. Service does that to you!
I
have heard my whole life that if you are hurting, frustrated or depressed...the
best thing you can do is serve someone else. In doing so we forget (for maybe
only a minute or so) our problems, pains and frustrations. It gives us a clearer
view on life and it's true meaning.
Christ
asks us to give of ourselves, to help lift others around us, share with those
in need, to strengthen and gladden, to help them come unto Him. If we do so
then we can truly be called disciples of Christ.
"Disciples
of Christ throughout all ages of the world have been distinguished by their
compassion. . . . In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to
our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater
importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the
loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and
let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers" ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Now
sisters, the last thing I want is for you to leave this meeting thinking to
yourselves, that I want you to take more time out of your already busy
schedules to do these great acts of service. That is not true. I am saying that to receive the Joy that lasts forever, we need to listen
to the Spirit and do small and simple things for Others. Simply realize that this is why we are here
on earth...to love and serve one another. Does it have to be something Big,
something Time consuming or of Great effort? No not always
Sisters
I promise you that if you just give a smile to someone in need, a hug to
someone who is suffering, a card to someone who is lonely and even a pray to
those in need...that there is where the
miracle of service comes in. That is where we can make a difference in other's
lives and in our own lives.
I love the quote that says...“Those who bring sunshine to the lives of
others cannot keep it from themselves.” ~James Matthew
Barrie
“In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be
happy.” ~Karl Reiland
So
remember here it is, 1st we need to have faith and knowledge of our Heavenly
Father and Jesus Christ and truly understand the Plan of Salvation, 2nd we need
to have hope, 3rd we need to give service, charity to others. And then when all of those 3 things are
combined ...you will receive that Joy
that the Lord has promised us. He wants us to have it! This Joy actually
changes your hearts and like in the Book of Mormon I think Alma describes it best in chapter 5
verses 14 through 16
14. And now behold I ask of you my brethren ( and I would
add Sisters) of the church, have you spiritually been born of God? Have ye
received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this might change
in your hearts?
15. Do ye exercise faith in the
redemption of him who created you? Do you look forward with an eye of faith, to
stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in
the mortal body?
16. I say unto you, can you imagine
to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord saying unto you, in that day .
Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of
righteousness upon the face of the earth?
And
in John 15:11-12 we read...
11 These things I have spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and
that your joy might be full.
12 This is my commandment, that you love
one another, as I have loved you!
It
is my prayer that we will be able to obtain and do these 3 things, that our
hearts will change and that we will be able to do what we came here to do
"Supposing
today were your last day on earth,
The last mile of the journey you've trod;
After all of your struggles, how much are you worth,
How much can you take home to God?
Don't count as possessions your silver and gold,
Tomorrow you leave these behind,
And all that is yours to have and to hold
Is the service you've given mankind. "
Sisters, I pray that if we do these 3 things, that we will find the JOY that comes with, loving and serving others as the Savior did. I promise you that your Heavenly Father knows you individually and He will always be there for you. He loves you, and wants to help you. But it is important not to let fear and despair keep you from getting the help that you need. I know these things to be true and I so grateful for the opportunity to be here and share them with you.
