I made it !

   As you can see, the MRI machine below is the one that you have to go all the way inside the tube to take photos for a check up, to make sure I don't have cancer again. My last experience wasn't very good and it too way too long, plus a few other things that caused me to almost lose it when I was inside there. Most people like I mentioned before, take medication to make them relaxed enough to be able to handle going in there. Since I don't handle medicine well, I just have to go to my Happy Place. 
  I had a dream last night that while I was in the machine, the electricity went off and then the fire alarm went off and everyone left the building, and I was stuck in there and couldn't get out. I am not even sure you could wiggle yourself out of there so.... needlesstosay, I was praying hard, that I could reach my Happy Place and stay there until we were done today.
  The technician I had today was a man, that is a bit embarrassing but he was great, very kind, compassionate and sympathetic, I found after talking to him that he too was a Cancer Survivor...so he did understand the anxiety that I was having. But all in all I did it today, and hopefully when they get the results back in a couple of days, there will be nothing to report! Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers, it really is a bit tougher to do than one would think.
  They were an hour late getting me into my appointment, there was a patient in there who had to have more imaging, I personally know that isn't a good thing. I saw her face when she came out, she looked scared to death. I remember being in her shoes just two short years ago. You go in for a routine exam and then it ends up when they need to do one more image and then another couple of mammogram's and then you need to come back and do some biopsies...yuck, those were scary days. When I  passed the lady in the dressing room, I just said a little prayer for her. She probably had to have a million thoughts going through her head, that kind of news is hard to take. I just wanted to give her a hug and tell her that I would pray for her. But I didn't bother her, I just said a silent prayer. Cancer...it is a life altering experience!

  Good night dear friends...thank you again!

"There is much in the world to make us afraid.  There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid."  ~Frederick W. Cropp

"He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself."  ~Samuel Butler

Two years ago today!

I have to admit, just reading my post two years ago, still makes me a little nervous. I remember well that day, and the days that followed my mastectomy. I have survived it, and that is good. It actually took way more of an emotional toll on me that I thought it would. I really didn't think it would be that tough, but it was. The pain was bad, the shock of seeing my body cut up like that was tough and the fear of once again, trying to battle cancer ( with all the decisions that come with that ) , was much harder than I ever imagined. But I am still here and doing well. I don't the sadness about the loss of my breast, as much as I used to. And I sorta feel like normal, on most days. I won't write tonight because I felt like I should let you read again, my post from 2 years ago today. So if you or anyone you know is going through your own battle with cancer, that you can know you aren't alone. Cancer is tough, but you are tougher, don't forget that.
I am so glad that is behind me. I am so grateful that I am still here and getting more healthy each year. I am thankful to have had another year with my family and friends. Yes, time does heal things, and I am so glad it does!

November 12, 2008

Today is the day! I guess ready or not I am going in this morning for a mastectomy. Having a mastectomy is what I always thought would be the worst nightmare for any woman. But we  have studied, researched and prayed soooooo much about it and realize it is the best choice for me and my health to do this. Having two tumors really narrowed my options. No matter what road I go down next, we realized that we needed to get these cancerous tumors out.

We interviewed different doctors and have decided to go with Marion Johnson from Evergreen Hospital, she seemed very knowledgeable and what can I say ...she has got to be good, because she has the same name as my mom ! My mom has been gone now for almost 8 years and there is never a day that goes by that I don't wish that I could see her or at least talk to her. I have heard my whole life that those who have already passed away are not really that far away from us, actually closer than we think. I pray today that my mom will be close, I could use all the help I can get!

So with that decision we have all decided to WEAR PINK today and think positive. I heard the quote TRIUMPH IS JUST THE "UMPH" AFTER THE TRY!  I have a feeling that is just exactly what I am going to have to do today. I am trying not to be scared and trying not to be discouraged and will give it a little more effort and umph today and for the next few coming weeks to conquer one of the biggest challenges in my life.

Well, I need to go get ready. Once again...thanks for you love, concern and prayers. I could probably use a few extra ones just in case and if you want you can join us in ...WEARING PINK ! Love, Lynn

 

"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from."                           ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

"Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith."  ~ Margaret Shepherd