A child's heart!

As a Mother, I remember when my kids were sick and how I worried about them. Now I am a Grandmother  ( Nana )  and I realize that I still worry just as much. Angie came to stay with me for a 3 day Sleep Over and she has been so sick. She really didn't do much at all while she was here. I stayed right by her, checked her temperature,  tried to do all that I could to make her feel better or at least comfortable. She didn't want to eat much at all, so I just tried to keep liquids in her and I did get a few Protein drinks in her. Her fever would just go up and down often. We were able to do something fun for about 20 mins, then you would see her lay down her head a lot and just go to bed. Poor thing, finally this morning she woke up with a high fever so I got ahold of Amy and we got a Doctor appointment for her, then I took her to home in time to go to it.
She was so cute, she said "Nana,  are you going to be ok by yourself while Poppa is gone, since I can't be there?"  I smiled and tried to explain to her that I would miss her but I would be fine. I just wanted her to get better.
She never complained at all, what a sweetheart and still it was a fun 3 days, because I got to still be  with her.



Then I got an text from Brad and Krystal saying that my little Grandson Kai had an accident today, and they have been sitting at the ER trying to get stitches in his head. Poor little guy, how I wish could fly to Texas right away and be there to take care of him and just hold
him. Oh how I love these grandchildren of mine! And I hurt when they hurt...just like when I was a Mom.

This photo that I found on Pinterest, reminded me how sweet these little children's hearts are. They love their stuffed animals and dolls and they are so sweet. I loved being a Mom and I really love being a Nana.

I am tired, I am beat but... I am blessed!

Good Night dear friend!

What worry can destroy

I know ever since I was a little girl, my Grandmother would tell me that " Worrying is like a rocking chair, you rock and rock and rock, and still you don't go anywhere." I thought about that this week as I was looking over my work schedule and putting it on the calendar for the next 3 months. As I was doing so I saw that in November...I need to have another cancer check up. This one is a MRI, where they inject die in me, and check and see if cancer has returned. It is a very long test, it is in that MRI machine and you have to go in a tough position and ...frankly...it stills scares me to death!
Then a few things come into my mind, this quote by my Grandmother... and the scriptures which remind us that Fear is not from God. But that Faith is and it is only through faith and hope, that you can get a peace that truly helps you trust and enjoy life. I have had some of both in my life. But I have to say I really believe in the old saying " what you fear you create". I need to not feed my fears, I need not to take advice or make decisions from my fears, and most of all I need to make sure that Fear doesn't still away too many minutes of my life!
Yes, I have good days with this and some bad days. As I told one of my kids tonight, no matter what...fearing something isn't healthy and we need to have trust that our Heavenly Father will make us equal to whatever comes our way. Yes...faith, is a far better way to live.
Thanks for letting me remind myself about this OUTLOUD! :)
Good night dear friends!

What an Adventure!

I knew when I got to become a Mother of 4 kids, that life was not going to be easy, and that probably it would be quite an adventure to raise them all! Still there were overwhelming days, and then there were days of pure GRATITUDE that I was blessed to be called their Mother.  I have always loved being a MOM, I realize...not every woman gets that oppourtunity and so I try not to complain too often. But yesterday was one of those days that I felt so helpless in so many ways with my kids. Three out of 4 of them were quite sick and we don't live close to them, so it is very hard to see them sick, hurt or scared and be this far way. Still I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who loves them as much ( actually I am sure MORE ) than I do, and so last night with a heavy heart. I prayed that my kids ( each in their own situation  ) would be watched over and comforted! Yes, Motherhood isn't easy...especially on your heart!
"A Mother thinks about her Children day and night, even if they are not with her and will love them in a way they will never understand."
 Since I didn't sleep much last night I am going to head to bed early. Good night dear friends!

"Out of all the Moments in my Life...the ones I SPENT WITH YOU are my most Favorite!"

"Having somewhere to go is HOME. Having someone to love is FAMILY. Having both is a BLESSING!"

Grounded

When my kids were teenagers there were a few times ( ok quite often ) that they got grounded. That seem to help them come to the conclusion quicker that…family rules were to be honored and kept. It also reminded them that they might have the ability to choose, but they can’t choose the consequences of their actions. That was a hard lesson some times to learn. Sometimes it is even hard to understand or handle those types of lessons, even when you are an adult.  Also, some of our kids were dare devils with a huge sense of adventure and others were not. Some were when they were little, and then it changed as they got older and some were just the opposite. So each time I felt like I had finally got through with one lesson, drama, concern…it seemed like one of the other kids would have a problem. I remember having my share of worry as I tried to figure it out as a parent. Parenting is much harder than it looks!
One thing that I struggle with is adventure, danger, thrill seeking. I am just not that type of person, and  I’m getting much more cautious as I get older…that probably isn’t a good thing. The kids tease me as times, when I warn them about this or that, and they just say “ Mom, you don’t have to go to the worst case scenario do you?”  Ok, I am a little different than a lot of people, but still being cautious maybe isn’t all that bad. However it is difficult because I am married to a man who loves adventure and many times, because of my physical limitations I can’t go do them with him. Gratefully we have had children who love many of the same things as their Dad, and he loves being and going places with them.

A few weeks ago, Lee and a few friends went to take a hike up in the mountains. He gave me all the information where they would be… but I didn’t know the trial or the area, since I hadn’t hiked it. But Jeff had and he said when you get to the top you will love it, it is breathtaking.

Ok, speaking of breaths, you might want to take a deep breath before  you scroll down and look at this photo of Lee, that they took of him when he reached the top! Lee put it on a the screen saver, so it was big. That was the first time I saw it and my first two reactions were…Why would you even climb us something that high?  And you are so grounded from ever taking trips like that again!    Remember these were my thoughts!
Then when Jeff saw it, I thought for sure he might reprimand Lee, but his response ( out loud ) was… “that is incredible Lee, that must have been a rush to have climbed up there, what a gorgeous view!” Guess we are safe to say that Mothers and Fathers are different  and even among our own, there are probably some of you Mother’s out there that think this would be a neat place to go your self or to take your kids too! I will just try to remember to smile and be grateful that he didn’t FALL OFF that mountain, and that he was able to experience the beauty of the great Northwest!  Still, I am sooooooooooo glad I didn’t know he would be doing something like this. Maybe that is why they say “sometimes it is just better if Mom doesn’t know? “  Wonder it they were talking about these kind of experiences?

So to  all you Mothers, just remember to really support  your kids, but also know exactly where they are going and what they are going to do…that might help your decisions. But at the same time, I am so glad that my kids are more like Jeff and not me. I am soooooooooooooooo boring, and I just love keeping my feet on the ground.

Good night dear friends!

  “Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time.”  ~ Leo F. Buscaglia

  “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”  ~ Andre Gide

“People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.”   ~St. Augustine, Early Christian Priest

 

Why Worry?

Today was a tough day physically, I have had a migraine for the entire day and most of last night… and so I won’t say that I am running on a full tank today.

I found this great motivational story and think that is what I will share with you tonight, it is a lot better than sharing my day or thoughts with you!

Worry Not Bug
By Catherine Pulsifer

For months I notice the painted rock that sat on Karen's coffee table. The rock was painted and its face had a smile that just made you smile when you looked at it. I examined the rock and painted on the bottom was "why worry". Curious I asked Karen where she got the rock.

She told me that during a very stressful time in her life, a friend that she worked with gave her the rock. Her friend told her that when she looked at this rock, she was to remember not to worry so much. Her friend called it her "worry not bug". There was a poem with the rock, she went and got it and as I read the poem I thought how true it was:

Why Worry by Author Unknown

- 40% will never happen, for anxiety is the result of a tired mind,
- 30% concerns old decisions which cannot be altered,
- 12% centers in criticism, mostly untrue, made by people who feel inferior,
- 10% is related to my health which worsens while I worry,
and only
- 8% is "legitimate," showing that life does have real problems which may be met head-on when I have eliminated senseless worries.

Karen went on to explain that she used to worry about everything and everyone. She now uses the rock as a reminder not to worry about the things she cannot change. She also went on to tell me that when she finds herself worrying, she asks herself what percentage this worry is?. Most of the time she found what she was worrying about was the 40% - things that will never happen.

"The problem of life is to change worry into thinking and anxiety into creative action."   ~Harold B. Walker

"Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due."    ~William R. Inge
"Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry: Worry never fixes anything."  ~Hemingway

"Don't worry, be happy."    ~Bobby McFerrin

A Mother's Heart

   Tonight at a meeting, I was able to talk for a moment to a friend of mine whose son got very sick a couple of years ago and they never could figure out why. Her son now is doing great and healthy again. I was just curious how they found their answers and how she as a Mom, handle all of it. It was nice to talk to another Mother, heart to heart. She knew exactly what I was talking about when I mentioned Lee and how we still don't know what is going on and the frustrations that come with that. Now Lee hasn't had an attack in almost 7 weeks, but the concern is definitely still there because we don't have any real answers.
   I shared with her the number of times I have pleaded with the Lord to let me have the problems, not my son. She knew the exact feeling and concern I was talking about. I asked finally how they got his problem diagnosed and to my surprise she said " we didn't, it just went away". Then she added "looking at the young man my son has become today, I realized all those things made him who he is". She knew that the Lord taught him things during that time that he might not have learned in any other way.
   So she really didn't have any real answer for me, she just gave me a hug and said " I will keep you guys in my prayers". I thought what a wonderful gift it was tonight to connect heart to heart with another Mom and to be reminded that our Heavenly Father is in charge, and we just need to have faith and know that everything will just work out. I needed that wisdom and insight tonight, and I needed that hug too!

Good night dear friends!

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life."  ~Abraham Lincoln

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been."  ~Robert Brault

"Grown don't mean nothing to a mother.  A child is a child.  They get bigger, older, but grown?  What's that suppose to mean?  In my heart it don't mean a thing."  ~Toni Morrison

Hope

Today I went to the Doctor and had blood work done, to see why my extreme fatigue is back. We won't know any of the results till next week, so I will have to be patient. I hope that it isn't Mono again. I had such a hard time getting over it the last time, I think I actually battled it for a year and a half. Anyway, I just need to think positive and be hopeful.

A dear friend of mine called today, and asked me to pray for a mutual friend of ours. She then told the situation that was going on in her family. They have gone through a couple of tragedies in just this past year.
There are people who experience tragedy and come out stronger for it, and others who have seemed to lost faith in anything, and even lost their desire to live. What is the difference? I believe it is where their faith is, and if they will give their trials to the Lord. Trying to do it on your own, can be overwhelming and almost impossible.
I myself try to remember not to say WHY? But What am I to learn from this? Who can I help from this experience? It also helps if I focus on the many blessings I have, even during the times of terrible troubles. There is always something to be grateful for.
Yes, having hope is a better way of life. Trusting our Heavenly Father, and realizing that He will never give us more than we can handle, and that He will never leave us alone during our trials is ... a great comfort to me.

I hope I can remember these things, more and more each day. Good night dear friends!

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished
by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope
at all." ~ Dale Carnegie

"There are those who have met disaster, which almost seems defeat, who have become somewhat soured in their natures; but if they stop to think, even the adversity which has come to them may prove a means of spiritual uplift. Adversity itself may lead toward and not away from God and spiritual enlightenment."  ~ David O. McKay

Hope

Well, I slept in till noon today, and only woke up then because the phone rang. I was shocked when I looked at the clock, what in the world is wrong with me? I never sleep 12 hours and then still feel this tired. It was all I could do to take a shower at 5:00 p.m. and then have dinner and cake, to celebrate our oldest daughter Amy's birthday. Her birthday is actually tomorrow, but we celebrated it today.

I think she had a good time and I tried to stay alert and awake, still I am so very tired. I have to push myself to get anything done. I am thinking now that it isn't a cold coming on, but not sure what else it could be. I sorta felt like this when I had Mono, I pray that I don't have that back.

Anyway as you can tell, the last few days I have been pretty down, and also worried  why my body isn't staying healthy any more. I was on such a good healthy path, not sure how I fell off? Of course, whether I like it or not some of my old worries come back and haunt me a bit. But I realize I just can't go there. I was reading an article today about Hope and thought ...that is where I need to stay. There was a cute story and a few quotes that I need to put on my mirror to remember, that is what I will share (part of with you) tonight...mostly for my benefit! :)

   "Our family grew up in the high desert country of southern Utah. Rain is rare, and hope abounds that there will be sufficient moisture for the coming heat of the summer. Then, as now, we hoped for rain, we prayed for rain, and in dire times, we fasted for rain.
   The story is told there of the grandfather who took his five-year-old grandson for a walk around town. Ultimately, they found themselves at a small grocery store on Main Street where they stopped for a cold soda pop. A car from out of state pulled up and the driver approached the old-timer. Pointing to a small cloud in the sky, the stranger asked, "Do you think it's going to rain?"
   "I certainly hope so," replied the old man, "if not for my sake, for the boy's. I've seen it rain."

   Hope is an emotion which brings richness to our everyday lives. it is defined as " the feeling that ...events will turn out for the best." When we exercise hope, we "look forward...with desire and reasonable confidence". As such , hope brings a certain calming influence to our lives as we confidently look forward to future events.

   We should never let hope be displaced by despair. The exercise of hope enriches our lives and helps us look forward to the future."  ~ Steven E. Snow  May 2011 Ensign

This was the perfect story for me tonight. I just need to remember like the grandfather said, I have seen rain but the boy hasn't .  Like him, I have seen miracles, I have seen tragedy end up into a blessing. I have seen the Tender Mercies of the Lord in my own life, but I need to now... remember to stay hopeful and strong, so that I can help my granddaughters see it too, in their lives. I know things happen for a reason, I know that my Heavenly Father is well aware of my life, my hopes and my dreams. He knows what I have yet to accomplish here on earth, I just need to focus my energies in the right place! Thanks for  your concerns, thoughts and prayers!
Good night dear friends!

Worrier

Well, the Doctor called today, and the results were in from Lee's tests. Every thing was normal, just like all the other tests we have done. It is weird, I was praying that nothing was wrong ...and yet at the very same time, I was praying to know what is wrong. I am trying not to be a worrier but some days, I worry more than I should. Yesterday, was one of those days. Today, I decided to turn it over to my Heavenly Father, what a more peaceful way to live. Trying to act as if EVERYTHING depends on you is hard. I know my Heavenly Father loves Lee and is well aware of his struggles. I just need to remember, all the times He has taken care of our family. This time won't be any different. Perspective is a wonderful thing!
Night dear friends!

Can You See God? 

A small boy once approached his slightly older sister with a question about God. "Susie, can anybody ever really see God?" he asked.
Busy with other things, Susie curtly replied: "No, of course
not silly. God is so far up in heaven that nobody can see him."
Time passed, but his question still lingered so he approached his mom: "Mom, can anybody ever really see God?" "No, not really," she gently said. "God is a spirit and he dwells in our hearts, but we can never really see Him."
Somewhat satisfied but still wondering, the youngster went on his way. Not long afterwards, his saintly old grandfather took the little boy on a fishing trip.
They were having a great time together. The sun was beginning to set with unusual splendor and the grandfather stared silently at the exquisite beauty unfolding before them.
On seeing the face of his grandfather reflecting such deep
peace and contentment, the little boy thought for a moment and finally spoke hesitatingly:
"Granddad, I--I-- wasn't going to ask anybody else, but I wonder if you can tell me the answer to something I've been wondering about a long time. Can anybody - can anybody ever really see God?".
The old man did not even turn his head. A long moment slipped by before he finally answered. "Son," he quietly said. "It's getting so I can't see anything else."       ~Author Unknown

 

"Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you."  ~ Saint Augustine

Every evening I turn my worries over to God.  He's going to be up all night anyway.  ~Mary C. Crowley

You are always a MOM!

   "Once a Mom, you are always a Mom." That's the truth. This whole week has been tough on me as a Mom and Nana. 3 people out of our family of 10 have been sick, and that is always hard on my heart. I kept thinking it might get a bit easier as they get older but...it really doesn't. Just like the phone calls in the middle of the night, leave you with that sick pit in your stomach. That's sorta what it feels like to have my kids sick or hurting and I can't do anything about it.
   Our oldest son is just a few weeks from graduating from college. He has been running himself ragged trying to get all his projects done, plus school work and working. I think he is sick because he has just burnt the candle at both ends for too many days and nights in a row. How I wish I could bring him over some Chicken Noodle Soup and see what I could do to help them.
   Next has been our youngest son Lee. He has been having pain in his stomach off and on now, for over a year and still no one knows quite what it is. We went to see a specialist yesterday and did a few more tests, and so we will see what happens with that. I know he was worried but didn't want to show it. Even at the age of 17, it is hard not to think of him as my Little Lee, and worry a bit.
   Then our granddaughter Jenny has been sick with the flu for four days now. I am glad we live close so that we can help in some way. Now I am just the Nana, but it hurts to see these little ones sick. I still can't believe that I lived through all four of our kids, and all their illnesses.
   Jeff said that when the kids were little and got the intestinal flu, he thought I went over board when the only thing I would give him for dinner was bananas, rice, applesauce or toast! You know the BRAT diet! I didn't really think it was that unrealistic, considering I had been cleaning up after all four of them with the flu for days. Just because he wasn't sick, I didn't even want to take the chance, so I had us all it the BRAT diet for days afterwards. Ok, that does seem extreme, but I guess you just had to be there. :)
   So tonight, I will pray hard for our family, and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. I know these things aren't big and are probably temporary, but still it is a bit hard. Maybe I am being too honest?  But the truth is...I would rather be sick myself any day, than watch my kids or grand-kids be sick. It is amazing some how that we survive though!  I am just grateful to know that they will survive too. At least we have each other, that is actually saying a lot! So even though it has been a tough week, I feel very blessed!

"Children and mothers never truly part - Bound in the beating of each other's heart." -Charlotte Gray

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life."  ~Abraham Lincoln

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been."  ~Robert Brault

We all need HOPE!

For some reason the last few days, I have been running out of energy early into the day. I can't seem to get past the tired stage. I really have been doing so much better, that it sorta scares me to be this tired all of a sudden again. I slept in yesterday till 11:30 a.m. and today till 11:00 a.m., I can't remember the last time that I have slept that long and yet...I still woke up tired. Maybe it's my emotions, there have been a few things weighing on my heart lately. I really don't know the answer but need to find out soon, hard to go back to this kind of TIRED!

I found this poem on HOPE, maybe because I need some right now...it meant a lot to me! Good night dear friends!

Hope

It's magic and it's free
It's not in a prescription
It's not in an IV.

It punctuates out laughter,
It sparkles in our tears,
It simmers under sorrows,
And dissipates our fears.

Do you know what Hope is?
It's reaching past today,
It's dreaming of tomorrow,
It's trying a new way.

It's pushing past impossible,
It's pounding on the door,
It's questioning the Answers,
It's always seeking more.

It's rumors of a breakthrough,
It's whispers of a cure,
A roller coaster ride
Of remedies, unsure.

Do you know what Hope is?
It's candy for the soul,
It's perfume for the spirit,
To share it makes you Whole

Author Unknown

https://mail.google.com/mail/?shva=1#inbox/12d8b86e848c7743

"In all things it is better to hope than to despair"  ~ Johann Wolfgang con Goethe

"When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always be worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better."

Part of a Mom's Job

My dear friend just sent this to me. It hit the nail on the head for me about motherhood ( parenthood ). It is something that every parent-to-be should know. Yes you will worry, but it is only because you love your kids soooooooooo much. Remember no one said it would be easy, but it would certainly be worth it!

WORRY

Is there a magic cutoff period when
offspring become accountable for their own
actions? Is there a wonderful moment when
parents can become detached spectators in
the lives of their children and shrug, "It's
their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital
corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, "When do
you stop worrying?" The nurse said,
"When they get out of the accident stage." My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career making
license plates. As if to read my mind, the teacher
said, "Don't worry, they all go through
this stage and then you can sit back, relax and
enjoy them." My Dad just smiled
faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
home, the front door to open. A friend said,
"They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry,
in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be
adults." My Dad just smiled faintly
and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being
vulnerable. I was still worrying over my
children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
was nothing I could do about it. My
Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. I
continued to anguish over their failures, be
tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in
their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I
could stop worrying and lead my own
life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
haunted by my Dad's warm smile and his
occasional, "You look pale; are you all right?
Call me the minute you get home. Are
you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a
lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another
handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
human frailties and the fears of the
unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable
recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been
calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere."  ~Glenn Turner

"The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly."  ~ Buddha