Time, Relationships and Experience!

A dear friend sent this poem to me the other day. How full of wisdom it is! My perspective on time, health, family and relationships has changed quite a bit, since I have been so sick for the past 5 months. I am looking at spending quality time with the people and doing the things I love to do...when I do feel good.
 I realize that many times I have given energy or time to things... that are not as valuable as other things. I am learning to pay attention to where I spend my time, energy and effort. I am trying to understand what it is I am suppose to learn from this experience. This poem, reminded me of some of these things.
Hope it touches you too.
Good night dear friends!
( My daughter Lauren just graduated from college, here she is with her proud Big Brother. So grateful we all had the time to go and celebrate that big accomplishment with her. )

To realize The value of a sister/brother Ask someone Who doesn't have one. To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple. To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate. To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam. To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn. To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother Who has given birth to A premature baby. To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realize The value of one second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident. Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when You can share it with someone special. To realize the value of a friend or family member: LOSE ONE. Hold on tight to the ones you love!!!!

What I’ve learned.

   I love this story, I shared it with you over 3  years ago, but I really felt impressed to share it again. A beautiful message for all of us to hear and be reminded of.

Good night dear friends!                                                       

     The Wooden Bowl 

  A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor". So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed their dinners together.

Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when you get old." The four year old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that children's eyes observe more than their ears ever hear and the example we set for them determines their actions.

I've learned that make a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life".

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that people will forget what you said ...people will forget what you did......but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I've learned that life is about people and making a positive difference.

I've learned that you should take care of yourself and those you love - Today and Everyday!

I've learned I still have a lot to learn!  

By Author Unknown

Missing something!

I read this story the other day and laughed pretty hard. First you should read the story and then I will leave my comments for the end.

Missing Husband

A lady went to the police station to file a report for her missing Husband:
Lady: I lost my Husband
Inspector: What is his height?

Lady: I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy?

Lady: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes?

Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair?

Lady: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing?

Lady: suit/casuals I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????

Lady: Yes my Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veggie food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying…..

Inspector: Let’s search for the dog first!!!!!!!

Wasn't that funny?  Of course it was funny for a story, but in true life that would be really sad. I do believe all of us at different times in our lives, maybe have had our perspective out of whack like that. When you stop and look at your thoughts, time and efforts and where they are put, are our lives balanced or not? Are we putting the proper time and energy into our marriages and family, verses other things in our lives?  It made me laugh but yet made me really stop and think. Hope it does the same for you.

(Now the picture below, is not of a cute lab named Calvin, but this is a photo of my new GRAND PUPPY Keeva! Isn't she cute? I haven't actually met her in person yet, but in just 3 weeks I will...hope I can keep things in perspective, after all she is my first Grand Puppy you know? :)  Good night dear friends!

"You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without."                ~ Unknown

"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate." 
~ Barnett Bricker

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever."  ~ Keri Russell

She's somebody's hero

So many of my dear friends and family are young Mothers, and I wish I could tell them personally a few things ( you know from an older seasoned Mom to a younger new Mom ). Like how short the time will be that their baby stays a baby. I wish I could tell her to remember to take care of herself first, so she has the energy and strength to take care of her family. I would tell her how great she is doing, at the hardest job in the world, and I would tell her to remember that what she is doing is... the most important job in the world!
I heard this song the other day, and thought it was a perfect way to describe a Mother and her job!  Hats off to all your sweet young Mothers out there!

She's never pulled anyone from a burning building
She's never rocked Central Park to a half a million fans, screaming out her name
She's never hit a shot to win the game
She's never left her footprints on the moon
She's never made a solo hot air balloon ride, around the world,
No, she's just your everyday average girl (but)
She's somebody's hero
A hero to her baby with a skinned up knee
A little kiss is all she needs
The keeper of the cheerios
The voice that brings Snow White to life
Bedtime stories every night
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero
oh oh
She didn't get a check every week like a nine-to fiver
But she's been a waiter, and a cook and a taxi driver
For twenty years, there at home, until the day her girl was grown
Giving all her love to her was her life's ambition
But now her baby's movin' on, and she'll soon be missin' her
But not today, those are tears of joy runnin' down her face
She's somebody's hero
A hero to her daughter in her wedding dress
She gave her wings to leave the nest
It hurts to let her baby go down the aisle she walks right by
Looks back into her mother's eyes
And that smile lets her know oh oh oh
She's somebody's hero
Thirty years have flown right past
Her daughters' starin' at all the photographs
Of her mother, and she wishes she could be like that
Oh, but she already is
She's somebody's hero
A hero to her mother in a rockin' chair
She runs a brush through her silver hair
The envy of the nursing home
She drops by every afternoon
Feeds her mother with a spoon
And that smile lets her know oh oh
Her mother's smile lets her know oh oh
She's somebody's hero
[Thanks to HuntingtonM15 for lyrics]

“And so, my dear young women, with all my heart I urge you not to look to contemporary culture for your role models and mentors. Please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow.”  ~ M. Russell Ballard

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."  ~Frederick Douglass

"We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, 'Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.' Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together."  ~ M. Russell Ballard

Friends

When I was going to college, I moved out to an apartment with a few girls. I was so excited to finally be out on my own and take on responsibility of rent, food and so on. It was a scary, but yet a liberating feeling to be out on my own. I quickly made friends with the girls that were now my room-mates. One girl particularly was a favorite of mine, we actually acted like sisters from the very beginning. As time went on, I decided (since I never had any sisters) to come up with a plan. If I hooked my roommate and my brother up, then if that really worked...they'd be married, and I could have my best friend as my sister-in-law forever! And believe it or not, it worked!
So today this same sister-in-law flew in town to visit and that is what we did today, visited, went shopping and had lunch. I have really missed her, I love being around her, all we do is laugh and tease each other all the time.
That's the good news, the bad news is... I had to come right home and go to bed, and haven't been worth anything the rest of the evening. That is my life though, at least I got to go out some and for that I am grateful. There have many days that I couldn't have even done that, yes grateful is the right word.
Now I needed to take this poor worn out body and head to bed. Good night dear friends and thanks for your friendship too!

Friendship's Road

Friendship is a chain of gold,

Shaped in God's all~perfect mold;

Each link a smile, a laugh, a tear,

A grip of the hand, a word of cheer.

As steadfast as the ages roll, binding closer soul to soul;

No matter how far or heavy the load,

Sweet is the journey on Friendship's Road.

*JB Downie

"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."

" Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget."

Life isn't fair

I loved this article, that I read about life not being fair. There have been times I have felt like that and just like this article mentions, it isn't a good place to stay mentally. Here is a watered down version of her thoughts and tips on things that helped her, during this tough time. I have included the web site of hers, where you can read more if you like!

I remember so clearly sitting next to my dad as we drove through town. I was discussing some injustice I had suffered and he looked directly at me and said, “no one ever said life was fair.” I was completely devastated. Later on as my marriage crumbled in spite of my ongoing efforts to hold it together, I could still hear those words echo in my heart. Now as I raise two kids alone, attempt to create new  relationships and build a business, I am forced every day to face this inevitable truth. I decided to stop running from the obvious and to accept my dad’s wisdom, albeit with the help of a few sound strategies I’ve learned along the way.

We will all face loss, unexpected change and feeling like the rug has been pulled out from beneath us. Some of us are recovering from harsh realities that will take time to heal. I wanted to share what worked for me. Here are my top ten ways to get over the “it’s not fair syndrome."

Anne Mattos-Leedom is the publisher of www.parentingbookmark.com , a national parenting website for raising caring kids. Anne is also the Founder of www.netconnectpublicity.com, a premier online placement agency for experts and authors. She lives in Northern California with her two teenage daughters.

"Life may not always seem fair, but we can learn to roll with the punches and make new choices along the way."

1.Stop Comparing

We choose for ourselves what seems fair by comparing our lives and circumstances to those of others around us.

2.Take Charge of Your Beliefs

We are often conditioned from a young age to expect certain things in life as we grow up. However, as an adult we need to let go of beliefs and expectations that are not working for us.

3.Grieve and Move on

It is only in coming to terms with our grief and realizing that everyone suffers at one time or another that we can move on.

4.Relinquish Resentment and Set New Goals

However, holding on to that frustration can keep you from moving forward. If whatever you are working on is not working, take a step back, re-assess and set a new goal that has a better chance of success. Use other people’s success as motivation and model to do better yourself. It doesn’t matter if it should have worked. If it isn't working, move on.

5.Redefine the Concept of Fair

Often we look to a divine power to be completely and totally responsible for our lives. We say, it isn’t fair that I didn’t get that job or my marriage didn’t work out, etc. because of how we believe that the universe and/or God should care for us blindly. Our lives are a team effort with the divine. Our part is to do the best we can and then to see past the moment into the bigger picture and knowing that ultimately what happens if part of that plan. Often things are much fairer then we realize at the time. That is where faith comes in.

6.Give Up on Control

Develop a healthy balance between giving things your best effort and then understanding ultimately it is out of your control. Put your efforts into the process but learn to let go of the need to control the outcome.

7.Build a ‘Fairness Support Circle'

When you share your pain and circumstances with others and realize you are not alone, you can turn the sense of “it isn’t fair” into compassion and eventually, action to let go.

8.Reflect on the Truth

Take a hard look at your circumstances that seem so unfair and ask yourself the hard questions about what you did do or not do that might have increased the chances of this happening to you.

9.Get Help When Needed

Getting professional help at this point may be the only way you can look at the real issues that may be plaguing you and to get the tools you need to move forward past your current pain into a place of hope and possibility once again.

10.Accept that Life isn’t Fair

We will see others succeed that don’t seem to deserve it. It is only in truly accepting that we don’t know the whole picture—or why things happen as they do--that we can move on. It is not for any of us to say why things happen as they do. Life may not be fair, but you can be fair—and be the best human being you can be.

 

"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone."  ~ Reba McEntire

"Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts."   ~ Charles Dickens

Love

I recently read this article titled... Love, the Center of Everything  Here is my favorite part from the article, and one of my favorite quotes. May we all remember the potential we have to touch the lives of those around us!

"Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood. Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities, and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility, and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk."
Dieter F. Uchtdorf  Nov. 2009

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring. All of which have the potential to turn a life around"   ~ Leo F. Buscaglia

What I have learned

I know that I have posted before lessons learned by other people, but this one from Maya Angelou was very fitting for how I felt today. Life is about learning... so we need to try and remember that on a daily basis, and enjoy the journey!

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back...'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

"ALWAYS REMEMBER TO SLOW DOWN IN LIFE; LIVE, BREATHE, AND LEARN; TAKE A LOOK AROUND YOU WHENEVER  YOU HAVE TIME AND NEVER FORGET EVERYTHING AND EVERY PERSON THAT HAS THE LEAST PLACE WITHIN YOUR HEART." ~ Unknown

Stress

Again I am reading in the book YOU CAN BE HAPPY NO MATTER WHAT  by Richard Carlson, Ph. D. ,the chapter I read today was about STRESS. I am feeling a lot of stress and so I am trying to figure out ONCE AGAIN how to control my thoughts. Here is is the what I RELEARNED tonight.

Stress is seen as a necessary part of achievement, relationships, careers, and life. The word has become a catch-all to describe, validate, and explain almost everything that is wrong in our lives. "If I weren't under so much stress, my life would be better" is a very common belief indeed.

Stress is a major cause of unrest in our lives, but we don't have to surrender our lives to it. If we understand where stress originates ( in our own minds ), and its relationship to our thinking, we can begin to eliminate it, regardless of our circumstances. Stress is not something that "happens to us," but rather something that develops from within our own thinking. From the inside out, we decide what is and is not going to be stressful. Gambling my be a thrill for one person, and for someone else the cause of a nervous breakdown. For one person, having children is the purpose of life, and for another is seems like too much responsibility. Each of these examples, as well as every other situation in life, is actually neutral, not inherently stressful.

The moment we define stress as coming from anywhere other than from within ourselves, we set ourselves up to experience it---and are too late to prevent it. Each time we describe stress as "out there", we validate it's existence. We then need to find ways to cope with, manage, or manipulate whatever it is that we believe is causing the stress.

You cannot effectively deal with something that, in reality, does not exist. Stress does not exit--other than in your own thinking. Your stressful thoughts are no more real than your non-stressful thoughts; they're still just thoughts. To rid yourself of the stress in your life, first understand that stress is your perception of the situation, not something inherent in it. There is not a "cause and effect" relationship between the events in your life and the feeling of stress.

Once you see there is no such thing as stress, only stressful thinking, you are on the road to immediate change and can take up responsibility for your own life. When you redefine stress as something you can control, it's  possible to maintain a positive feeling, even when circumstances are a great deal less than perfect.

"Second thoughts are ever wiser." ~ Euripides

"All that you achieve and all that you fail to achieve is the direct result of your own thoughts"  ~ James Allen

I love Christmas stories

I found this wonderful story that truly teaches us to make the most out of our life and to cherish what we have. I will leave it for you tonight, I pray that you are enjoying your blessings this wonderful time of the year.

It is entitled "PRECIOUS JEOPARDY: A CHRISTMAS STORY" written by Lloyd C. Douglas ( U.S. Lutheran clergyman and novelist 1877-1951 )

The story is about a man named Phil Garland, his wife, Shirley, and their two children, Polly and Junior. Phil was disgruntled on one particular Christmas Eve because he had just lost his job. His financial situation had been difficult enough even when he was working; now it seemed impossible.

That evening Shirley tried to include Phil in some of the Christmas Eve activities with Polly and Junior, but Phil just grumbled at the price of the gifts. He reminded Shirley that in their difficult financial condition they really couldn’t afford gifts. He said Christmas was overly commercialized anyway. Eventually Shirley helped Polly and Junior get ready for bed. Then, with tears in her eyes she went to her bedroom.

A few minutes later she heard Phil calling from the hallway. He yelled for her to go get the pliers. “I’ve stepped on a needle.”

Shirley brought the pliers, and Phil clamped the jaws on the needle protruding from his foot and pulled. Out came half of the needle! He and Shirley discussed the possibility of his going to the hospital that night to have the other half of the needle removed. But Phil assured her it could wait until morning.

The next day, Christmas, Phil drove to the hospital but paused outside the door. Somewhere he had heard that if you get a tiny piece of metal in your body and do not remove it, it could eventually move to one of the vital organs and cause death. For some reason Phil decided to leave the needle fragment in his foot and take the consequences, whatever they may be. He drove home and told Shirley that everything had been taken care of.

From that moment Phil believed his life might end at any time. He really didn’t know if he was going to live from one day to the next, and so he decided he would try to make the most of life each day. That Christmas there was a definite change in Phil. He treated Shirley with much kindness and spent time playing with Polly and Junior. Christmas Day was the first day in a long time that Phil felt truly close to his family.

Tomorrow he might be dead, but today he would enjoy the important things in life. And, strangely, money no longer seemed important.

Tomorrow did come, and Phil Garland again found himself alive. For the second day he was especially considerate to his wife and children, because it might be the last day of his life. Each day thereafter Phil spent more time with Shirley, Polly, and Junior, taking odd jobs daily to support his family.

The story, “Precious Jeopardy,” ended, as it began, on Christmas Eve, one year later. The Garlands’ celebrations contrasted sharply with those of the previous Christmas, because Phil was happy and at peace. He had lived long enough to celebrate Christmas with Shirley and their children.

On Christmas Eve Phil played a few games with the children. Then the family exchanged a few small gifts each had made during the year. During those months Phil had made a beautiful walnut sewing cabinet for Shirley, and she wept at his thoughtfulness when he showed it to her.

As the clock struck midnight, Shirley handed Phil her gift—a small box containing a tiny fragment of steel pierced through red velvet. It was the other half of the needle Phil thought was in his foot. The story ends with Shirley in tears, asking Phil’s forgiveness. She had found the other half of the needle a few days after he had his accident, but had secretly kept it because it had, in a sense, given Phil back to his family.

Phil, gratefully realizing how his life has changed since the previous Christmas, puts his arms around Shirley and tells her not to cry—it’s Christmas.

"It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air."  ~W.T. Ellis

Everything happens for a reason!

Today I went with my sister-in-laws to a craft boutique. I know you are probably wondering why I did something like that while I am on vacation?  Actually, I myself sold at craft fairs and boutiques for over 25 years, I started in my first one at the age of 12. I am not recommending that type of life, it is tough on your body but I loved creating and I loved meeting all the people at the shows. Today was another one of those experiences. I was talking to one of the venders today at the boutique and we immediately hit it off. I love meeting new people and learning about their lives and feeling their sweet spirits. I am always amazed at how many wonderful people there are in the world, it seems if you watch the news... you wouldn't think there were any good people left. So I am grateful that I not only got to go see some beautiful creations but meet this wonderful lady.

I love to see how people's lives interconnect with each other. Like this dear lady and I, we have never met before and yet we had things and experiences in our lives that instantly connected us. I do think that if we took the time to get to know people a little better that we would realize we have a lot more in common that we realize. It is by having these same experiences that make us connect with each other. I have known all my life that everything happens for a reason. I don't think most things are luck or coincident's. I do think we meet certain people at certain times in our lives for certain reasons. I do believe that we miss many of those reasons and opportunities because our lives are so rushed. I think many times we are addicted to HURRY! ( ME INCLUDED ) But the most memorable times in my life, have been when I slow down, breath and really notice the things and people around me.

I hope during this holiday season that we can remember the life of the Savior, He was all about the ONE! The one person, the one miracle, the one lesson, the one reason He came. How grateful I am that we have a season that celebrates that. I only wish that we would remember amidst the hustle and bustle to take time out to connect with the ONES that we are suppose to meet in our lives.  Thanks to all of you who have been connected to my life, that truly is what makes life rich and worth living!

 

"LIFE IS FULL OF BEAUTY. NOTICE IT. NOTICE THE BUMBLE BEE, THE SMALL CHILD, AND THE SMILING FACES. SMELL THE RAIN, AND FEEL THE WIND. LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST POTENTIAL, AND FIGHT FOR YOUR DREAMS."  ~ Ashley Smith

“Everything happens for a reason. Every action has a reaction. Always remember that what's meant to be will always find a way to come about.”

Remembering

A year ago today, this is what I wrote to you in my blog. I was just diagnosed with Breast Cancer for the second time. Why am I repeating this blog? For a couple of reasons actually. One... is to remind me that even though at that point, I didn't want the new day to come because I didn't think I could handle it, I did and I am still here today. Second reason is... in the past 2 days I have talked to 2 more people who are going down the same road of facing cancer, and I wanted them to know of my thoughts and feelings then and now.

Jeff said to me a year ago ...."I wish we could just fast forward life to 4-5 months from now or longer" he knew that somehow we would probably survive all of this, but didn't know how or what toll it would take on all of us. He was scared, I was scared and so I just wanted you to know what I feel like a year later. I sadly didn't get to fast forward any of that whole experience, I had to go through each day and each moment and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

October 2008

Nights are the worst

Why is it that the night time is the hardest when you are sick, lonely, sad or concerned about something? It is like the whole world is asleep and you are left completely alone with your thoughts.  All of these things just kept racing through my head and I couldn't seem to stop them long enough to let sleep come in.

So here I am again, it is early in the morning and I have been awake for hours. Now this blog was not meant to be a reality type blog, but a motivational blog. But it seems for the moment that I need to express a couple of personal things that have come front and center in our lives.

Yesterday we got the results back from my MRI, it wasn't good, I have a large tumor in my left breast. The same breast that I had cancer in almost 7 years ago. I haven't had that unbelievable fear like last time and so for some reason I am shocked about the news. I am not sure what I accomplished yesterday...not much but the reality of I am going to have to go down this road again is becoming all too clear.

Almost 7 years ago when I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I remember crying and being depressed all the time,for the first few days and the kids did the same. It didn't take me too long to remember that I was the mom, the heart of the home and that I needed to some how pull myself together. I asked Amy yesterday if she was really alright, her reply was classic "I'm ok MOM, if you are ok?"

And so I need to be ok, for my sake, for my families' sake. We have fought this battle before, and I am sure we can do it again. I wish that I wasn't so TIRED,it is much harder to fight when you are this exhausted but... we will.

So I keep thinking to myself what I tell other women who I counsel about when things of this magnitude hit their lives? The first thing is to get all the information, next to pick their team mates, who are your main supporters that become so vital for you?  Make sure you only pick people who believe in you and support you in whatever decision you make, people who trust that you have the wherewithal to make the right decision. There are tons of people out there willing to give you their opinions and remind you of all the things that could go wrong and tell you what to do,even though they have never been in this situation before. Personally, I wouldn't pick them to support you. Making decisions like these are Big and you don't need any bad energy that some people have to share. I would tell these sweet women to get back to the basics, find out what their core beliefs are? Do they believe in a God or not? That is real important, because these situations make you face exactly how much you can take and it is vital to know that you don't have to do any of this ALONE unless you choose to. And last ,but not least I would say to them have FAITH, faith to know that we all have the answers inside us to the tough questions that come in our lives. Faith that your Heavenly Father will be there and will help you fight these battles. Faith in the Savior Jesus Christ, He truly understands what we are going through and will help comfort us and give us a peace that the world doesn't have to offer. The women like I mentioned before that I have met along the way in life are amazing women and they all seem to be tougher than they even imagined that they could be. Everyone of them come from all walks of life, all different religious beliefs but understand that we are given these things for a reason and we all have been the better and stronger for it!

So I will try to remember all these things that I have shared a million times with others and apply to my own life! I am a fighter and I will fight this battle ....yet once again. I wish that I could write a personal letter to each of my dear friends and tell them just what JOY that they have brought into my life. That is another thing that happens to you when you get news like this...it makes you sappy!  So  beware!  :)

The sun will be up soon and hopefully I will be ready to take on yet another day. They say THE GOOD THING ABOUT THE FUTURE IS THAT IT ONLY COMES ONE DAY AT A TIME!  So true

Today, I feel hopeful for the future (opposite of a year ago), my fears are more under control and I feel happy more often. I have things planned that I want to do in the next year or so (haven't quite made it to looking too far into the future). I still get pretty scared and nervous when I have to go into check ups ( that is the same so far). I am still going to the hospital for treatments for lymphedema ( still working on surviving the effects of surgery and radiation ). I don't study as much now about my cancer, still a bit scary to read all the time. I am still tired and trying hard to continue to listen to my gut, especially when it tells me to slow down and rest. I am quilting again, that is one of my passions and I redid my sewing room. ( I think that was a big sign to my family and friends that I was getting better and hopeful for the future, I've got lots of quilts yet to make!) I am more thoughtful and tender with my family because I could imagine what it would be like to leave them and I am grateful that Heavenly Father let me stay a little longer. Then last but not least ....my knowledge that God lives and Jesus is the Christ has increased and been strengthened a 100 fold. I could never be where I am today without that knowledge and testimony. So I share it with you, please don't try to go through life and all it's struggles alone, you don't have to, it was never intended for you to do it all on your own.

I apologize to repeat a blog but felt impressed to do so. I appreciate you and all of your support . Thank you and Happy Halloween!

"THERE ARE ONLY TWO WAYS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE. ONE IS AS THOUGH NOTHING IS A MIRACLE. THE OTHER IS AS THOUGH EVERYTHING IS A MIRACLE"  ~Albert Einstein

The red balloon!

Today is Saturday, and all day I have been very tired. Maybe that big day at the hospital was more than I should have tried? I really felt right about it though, some days are like that...I just have to pay quite a few days when I do something that big. I spent the morning with Amy, it was fun being with her again. I had missed being with the kids while I was gone. We went shopping for material for the baby's room (Jenny's room). Actually she and Angie will have to share, but still we need to get her bedding and blankets made. Afterwards I had to come home and go to bed for a couple of hours and then Amy and I started helping Lauren get ready for Prom. She and a bunch of friends are all going together this year. It is hard to imagine that she will be graduating this week.

It doesn't seem that long ago that Lauren was the fired up little toddler, who could never stop from getting into trouble. Oh I worried how I was going to raise such a tough little spirit and look at her now. She is all grown up and beautiful on the inside and the out. She knows who she is and has a 1000 dreams and plans for the future.

I missed my mom today and our family who is out of town. It is always during these SPECIAL MOMENTS in your life that you want family and friends to be there to share them with. Brad and Krystal are in Idaho going to school and the rest of our family is spread out. Mom, has been gone for almost 9 years now. I remember how funny and crazy she thought Lauren was, wouldn't she love to see her now? I hope she can. I truly feel like she isn't that far away. When she first passed away, I continued to email her every day. I know that sounds crazy but it was very therapeutic. I am not sure why I stopped?

So tonight, I guess maybe because I don't feel very well or ...just because I am missing my family right now... that I would like to share with you a sweet story that I found. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Good night

BENNY'S BALLOON

BENNY WAS SEVENTY WHEN HE DIED RATHER SUDDENLY OF CANCER IN WILMETTE, ILLINOIS. BECAUSE HIS TEN-YEAR-OLD GRANDDAUGHTER NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO SAY GOOD-BYE, SHE CRIED FOR DAYS. BUT AFTER RECEIVING A BIG RED BALLOON AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY, SHE CAME HOME WITH AN IDEA---A LETTER TO GRANDPA BENNY, AIR-MAILED TO HEAVEN IN HER BALLOON.

RACHEL'S MOTHER DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO SAY NO, AND SHE WATCHED WITH TEARS IN HER EYES AS THE FRAGILE BALLOON BUMPED ITS WAY OVER THE TREES THAT LINED THE YARD AND DISAPPEARED.

TWO MONTHS LATER, RACHEL RECEIVED THIS LETTER POSTMARKED FROM A TOWN SIX HUNDRED MILES AWAY IN PENNSYLVANIA:

DEAR RACHEL,

YOUR LETTER TO GRANDPA BENNY REACHED HIM. HE REALLY APPRECIATED IT. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT MATERIAL THINGS CAN'T BE KEPT IN HEAVEN, SO THEY HAD TO SEND THE BALLOON BACKT TO EARTH--THEY JSUT KEEP THOUGHTS, MEMORIES, LOVE AND THINGS LIKE THAT IN HEAVEN.

RACHEL, WHENEVER YOU THINK ABOUT GRANDPA BENNY, HE KNOWS, AND IS VERY CLOSE BY WITH OVERWHELMING LOVE FOR YOU.

SINCERELY, BOB ANDERSON (ALSO A GRANDPA)

~Michael Cody

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." ~ Henry David Throreau

"Mourning is not the end of the relationship.
Our love for them does not die with them."