Tough couple of days!

 I have been trying hard to get things organized,
figured out and ready to start off this new year right.
 It has been a long time since I have written in my blog, one of the biggest reasons is that my computer is acting up all the time now. Tonight I will try to write this quick!
I have been doing this blog for 8 years and have truly shared some of the toughest lessons that I have learned in my life.
 This past year I have been up against something a bit bigger than me. I hesitate to mention it because I am not sure exactly how I am handling it. I have been warned about it for years and although I know that it is just a normal part of a Woman's life, it has been a tough one for me. Menopause!!!
Menopause was something that I watched my Mom struggle through and even though I am much older to start going through it than her... still I am beginning to understand why so many women dread even the word.
I realize also that every woman goes through it at different times and through different degrees, but I am sure a few things are just the same for each of us.
My emotions are changing a bit more than I would like. My internal thermostat is changing just about as fast... but only from Hot to Cold. My body is changing and not for the better and that is making it tough on a daily basis. Now before you call or email me of all the things I could be taking....thank you in advance but as a 2 time Cancer Survivor, I can not take them. So I am trying all the other natural things I can try.
I went to get a massage the other day at a new place and the secretary was a man. When he asked if I wanted the massage therapist to heat up the table before I got in there and I casually said " No thank you, I have my own internal heating pad turned on most of the time", he just smiled.
As I finished my paper work and turned it in to him, he smiled again and said " I am a 2 time survivor". I looked at him and said " I am glad for you....what type of Cancer did you have?"
His reply was " Oh I meant a two time survivor of Menopause! I survived my Mom and my wife!"
So I guess he said it all :)
Sunday night I started getting some terrible back pain and nausea, it went on for the rest of the night and all day yesterday. It started to scare me, because I couldn't figure out what it was. Many times in my life, my back has hurt so bad that it makes me sick to my stomach, but this felt different. After a bad day and into the evening it finally dawned on me that this is exactly how I felt last February when I had Kidney Stones. So the last 2 days have truly been tough. I keep drinking and drinking hoping to flush them out and pray that I can do it on my own and not have to go to the hospital. I started feeling better later this afternoon.
Today two dear friends came by and brought me an amazing dinner, fresh flowers and this beautiful snowflake garland. So even though it has been a tough two couple of days I realize that I am blessed and have much to be grateful for.
I have missed talking to you dear friends.
Good Night!

.

Bittersweet!

Today was another tough day, my emotions are all over the board... and I am trying desperately to stay steady and consistent. I am trying to remember all the women who have been through Menopause and lived to tell about it! :) That gives me hope, but still I definitely don't feel like myself!

16 years ago today my Mother passed away. She had been real sick for months and we thought for sure that in September that would be our last few days with her. She held on for as long as she could, but on December 3rd around 8:30 am she took her last breath. I still am grateful that I was able to fly home in time, to be with her as she left for the other side. It was scary, it was inspiring, it was spiritual, it was a blessing and a loss like I have never felt before. It was truly Bittersweet!

I won't write more tonight other than to say...I am grateful for my Mother. She and I had been through many of the same experiences in our lives, and so that made our relationship complicated to say the least. But oh how I loved her!
 I can't wait to see her again and start another new and better life with her. So grateful for the knowledge that God lives, that Jesus Christ truly did come to this earth to be our example. And for the gift that He gave us to live again!
 Many people thought it was so sad that my Mom died when it was Christmas time. But I think that this is a blessing, because it is the most Wonderful Time of the Year! Knowing about the Christ child and His life and Mission, make Eternity not so far away! Which means, I will be with my sweet Mother again some day!
Good night dear friends!

Choices!

It has been awhile since I have really written from my heart, why? Well, to be completely honest with you...I am struggling. I had always heard about when women went through Menapause and how tough it could be. I remember well, how hard it was on my own Mom. I was determined to live a different life from my Mom, so that my results would be different. I can almost feel my Mom on the other side...smiling right now :)

. Hormones are Hormones, Life is Life and Stages in life are normal, even if we don't really want them. 

I finally got some natural things to get my sleep back, which was a big blessing. Not sleeping for weeks at a time made me a pretty unhappy camper.

Now for the hormone roller coaster, well... I am on it! Poor Jeff, he just looks at me crying and being so sad, and he doesn't quite no what to do with me. He keeps asking me what he can do... and I only wish I knew. He has been so kind and so patient, I really shouldn't complain at all. 

I remember right after being diagnosed with cancer for the 1st time, the oncologist explaing to be the side effects of some of the medicine he thought I should start taking! There were so many of them, I asked him "well, then what do you do for the big side effect of "Depression that you mentioned?" His response was " well, we can give you another medicine for that!"

I know this is all part of the menapause but I have to admit, it has been really scary at times. I am usually a very, very happy and positive person. To feel so down is not a fun place to be.

I know for a big part of my life I have done things more Natural and still I think that is what I would always choose first. So I am on a quest right now...trying to get my hormone balanced, my emotions in check and get some hope and energy back into my life.  I know millions of women have gone through this and LIVED! I just want to be one of them!!!
 To watch my body change ( and not for the better ), and to have my emotions on my sleeve all the time... has been a bigger challenge for me than I ever imagined.
That is one of the reason I haven't been writing, didn't feel like I had much to motivate you about!  This is suppose to be a motivational blog right ?

 I am so sorry I have been absent for awhile. Thank you for your patience and understanding. I want there to be something to learn from in this blog, not just a place to complain!
Lots of changing coming to my body, my mind and my work right now so... I am just going to try and take it one day at a time.
Thank you for your friendship and for your kind words. Even if my life is a bit crazy right now, I could never deny how Blessed I am!
Good Night dear friends!

Is it Hot in here?

Today was a wonderful day, I got to teach the Make it Take it class with some dear friends.
I love watching people enjoy learning and creating together!
We laughed and talked about a ton of things. One thing that we talked about was menopause, that story started because I kept having so many hot flashes ...during my class.
 I know that a lot of women have already been down this road, many of them have shared what they did for Hot Flashes when it happened to them. I appreciate any ideas I could get. Some have told me about the miracle creams that they tried ( which are hormone creams ), I know they work great but... after having Cancer twice ...any type of hormone therapy isn't an option for me. Oh how I wish there was something that worked.

I had to smile the other day when a dear friend brought me a beautiful fan!
She just said she that she had been reading my blog and truly understood!
Somehow information and advice from someone who has been there...makes a huge difference!



I am truly blessed with many dear friends! Thanks to them... I am sure I will survive! :)


Good Night dear friends!

Am I strong enough?

Last night was one of my worst nights of no sleeping, because of my hot flashes and cold chills. I have been taking herbs to help me out. It worked for awhile and then as my hormones continue to drop off... I find myself back in the same place of no sleep, because of the hot flashes and cold chills.
As I was looking up more remindies for menopause I found these funny sayings, Jeff is still laughing after we read them....why am I not laughing???
Here some of them are in case you need a good laugh tonight.

1. HOT FLASHES: Has there been a sharp increase in your electric bill along with a decrease in the temperature of your home? Is everyone in your family wearing sweaters at the dinner table while you’re fanning yourself and using a rag to wipe your sweaty brow? Then you might be menopausal.
2. WEIGHT GAIN: Have you broken into your savings account for a new wardrobe that includes stretch fabric pants and knee-length muumuus that are wildly popular at Walmart? When you squeeze into a bathing suit, do strangers try to rub your Buddha belly for good luck? If you feel like an over-inflated balloon ready to burst, you might be menopausal.
3. MOOD SWINGS:  If you feel like Mother Theresa one minute and Attila the Hun the next, you might be menopausal.
4. NIGHT SWEATS: Do you wake in the middle of the night in a warm, sticky puddle that was once your bed? If solar flares spark your sleep and leave you melting into the bed sheets, you might be menopausal.
5. HAIR LOSS: Have you lost enough hair to open a wig shop? If you suddenly find hairless cats and shaved chihuahuas adorable, you might be menopausal.
6. MEMORY LOSS: Have you wallpapered your house in Post-it Notes to remind yourself to turn off the stove and flush the toilet?
7. INDIGESTION: Do you feel as though someone lit Roman candles in your throat or cannons in your stomach after dinner at the local Mexican restaurant? If you have the urge to yell, “FIRE IN THE HOLE!”….you might be menopausal.
8. FREQUENT URINATION: Have you recently bought an adult diaper bag masked as a purse to hide your supply of Poise Pads? If your road trips are mapped out according to how many pit stops there are between your driveway and your vacation destination, you might be menopausal.
9. ANXIETY: Do you grind your teeth like an agitated badger in your sleep? If your fingernails look like they’ve been dipped in a piranha pool, you might be menopausal.
10. INSOMNIA: Do you like to play mind games in the middle of the night like Name That Tune or Workplace Trivial Pursuit? Do you find the inner workings of a glowing, digital clock fascinating at 2:00 a.m.?.

Guess I should print out this quote and put it on my forehead!!!! :)

Good Night dear friends, well at least I hope it is! :)

A better day today!

I decided after this weekend and feeling so tired ...that I had to get my act together this week. The problem is that I am going through Menopause and the hot flashes and chills are getting ridiculous at night, so sleep is hard to come by.
I know I can't complain and I know I am not the only one to go through this part of life. But man I am beat!!! So when I wake up tired, it is hard to do very much.
Still now that I have doubled my work hours, it is vital that I get on top of this! Plus, I am doing a few Baby Showers at my home so...my house needs to be clean.

However, I got a bit more sleep last night and so today... I felt better. It felt great to cook, clean, do laundry, bills and grocery shopping. I even cleaned my car today! Hopefully tonight will be good too! I have got a whole lot more cleaning, sewing, planting and organizing to do.

I am hoping to get my online classes going soon, seems like it has taken a back seat lately since I have been doing some family stuff, and working on new classes. I hope to get back to finish decorating the studio soon.  I did buy two more items for it though, so I haven't given up on it!
Both of these quotes made me think of my Quilting Classes and how I need to follow this dream of mine.
Good Night dear friends!

"Take time to do what makes your soul happy"

"IF YOUR ACTIONS INSPIRE OTHERS TO DREAM MORE, LEARN MORE, DO MORE AND BECOME MORE, YOU ARE A LEADER."

Is it hot in here?

When the kids were little, I remember feeling just like this photo! :)
I wondered if I would ever survive it, being up all night, sick babies, chicken pox, potty training, the busing kids back and forth from
activities, the homework, the volunteering and on and on.


Now I am getting ready to turn 55 in a few days, and I am struggling with a new stage of life.
Just after 6 months of being really sick, ending with a abscessed tooth and having to have it out...I began to start having Hot Flashes!
Now I have watched many of my friends go through Menopause and I have heard all the horror stories about it. I even remember how my own Mother handled it, so it really wasn't something I was looking forward to... but knew it would eventually happen some day. Why it had to happen when it did is just bad luck I guess. My grandmother used to always say "If it weren't for bad luck, you won't have any luck at all!" Funny Grandma, but maybe that is true?
Anyway, I am not trying to complain except that because of the Hot Flashes at night, I am waking up about every 2 hours trying to cool off. And not sleeping soundly is wiping me out. I used to never sleep ever since I was a kid. But about 3 years ago I started working on getting good sleep, and when I started sleeping 8 hours a night, that is when I really saw my health improve. So I hope and pray that I get figure this out soon and get some solid sleep.I am beat!
Some of you are probably still laughing, because you have already been there and done that. Well if this is my right of passage, please be patient with me.
It's late...tomorrow is a big day at work. I start teaching the 12 Days of Christmas! I can't wait, it is my favorite time of the year!
Good night dear friends!
P.S.
I heard a comedian once say to the men in the audience. "The way you can know the difference if your wife is going through PMS or Menopause is...a wife going through PMS could kill you. But the wife who is going through Menopause, will cause you to want to kill yourself!"

 Mine as well laugh since I can't change it! :)