Sounds like something you hear from the pilot of your plane trip. Well, that is the news we got this morning around 10:00. The Dr. called and said that the CT scan read that I was all clear from cancer. Which was such a blessing! They did not want to take me into surgery on Weds. unless they knew, for a fact that the cancer had not spread to my other organs. How grateful we were to hear that news. Jeff received the call while I was getting ready and when he told me he said "well, that was the doctor and he said that the CT scan said that I was all clear, meaning that they didn't find cancer elsewhere". Then he said " they did see some some areas of concern but you don't have cancer". I was heading out the door to my chiropractic appointment and was so happy to hear the news that I didn't push him for information of what they did find. I guess that I felt like I needed to be grateful for that blessing.
Later when we went to the 2nd surgeon appointment, while we were sitting in the waiting room I asked him what else they found? He casually said "oh just that you have arthritis in your lumbar area (lower back) and some type of spots on your lungs but at least you don't have cancer." I began to worry a bit but realized that I could probably handle anything if I didn't have cancer any where else. But I have to admit that the rest of the evening I have felt out of breath and wondering if I am breathing ok? :) The mind is a powerful tool, for the good and bad... for worry warts like me! Sometimes, I scare myself! :)
I usually hesitate calling anyone lately when I have had to tell them bad news, especially my kids, but we know it is important to keep them informed and part of our team. Today was just the opposite, I couldn't wait to tell, Brad, Krystal and Amy about the CT results. It is true, thinking positive is soooooo much for effective that worrying. My grandmother who had a beautiful old rocker that she sat in all the time said. "WORRYING IS LIKE A ROCKING CHAIR, YOU CAN ROCK AND ROCK ALL DAY AND STILL END UP NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" She would be proud that I was quoting her and better yet that I am trying to remember and apply her words of wisdom.
I hope that I will sleep better tonight with this good news. Tomorrow the kids are off school and I am glad we are going to have time to spend together before my surgery. They would tell you that I am just glad that they are off so that they can help me clean the house before I leave and before my sister-in-law flies in. I guess that could be true but, even working and cleaning together could be counted for QUALITY TIME couldn't it?
I have got to start a GRATITUDE journal again, it makes all the difference in how I think about my day and my life. I also need to print off some of my favorite motivational quotes and hang them up all over my house, to remind me on a daily basis of how to fight this battle and to remember I can do this no matter how big or frightening it is. One quote that I have up in my house is..."KEEP YOUR FACE TO THE SUNSHINE AND YOU WILL NOT SEE THE SHADOWS". -------------Helen Keller She was a person who truly knew adversity and conquered her problems head on. I pray that I will do the same.
So today I am thankful for...
The cancer not spreading, for sunshine, for good friends and neighbors, for a warm gift of clothing, for my family and for my knowledge that GOD lives and the knowledge that He does have a plan for all of us. Thank you again for all that you do and for the lives that you live, that help give me great examples to follow. Thanks also for your faith and prayers in my behalf and my family's.
Lynn, Jeff, John, Amy, Angie, Brad, Krystal, Lauren and Lee