Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Rush, rush, rush!

That seemed to be the theme for my day today. I really didn't have a lot planned except to go to radiation and then stay home rest and finish up the last details of my speech. Well, it didn't quite go like that, I was going and going all day long for one reason or another. I have been having more energy lately but today I over did it and by 2:30pm I felt like I was being tortured to stay awake. As soon as Lee and Lauren saw me, they headed me right to bed, I must have had that LOOK!  I was only asleep 20 some minutes when Lauren came and woke me up with a phone call from my DR at the Cancer Center. I have been trying to get a hold of her for a couple of days and I told Lauren no matter what, don't let me miss that call. I am glad that I took it but man, I sure could have used the sleep. I mentioned to my DR that I was speaking tonight at a Women's Group and she said to be careful not to overdue now that I have a bit more energy. Well, I would say that usually I am very obedient but today and tonight I might have pushed the envelope too much. Ok, so much for dwelling on the negative, there were a lot of good things that happened today.

I had an hour for my presentation tonight. There were about 50 women there and of course Jeff, Lauren and Amy! Lauren does my Power Point presentations to go with my speech, which makes it even more interesting I think. I don't know how I am going to make it when she goes off to college. I will have to learn more computer skills for sure. Plus, I have to learn to calm myself down before my speaking engagements I get so nervous, and yes it is one of my favorite things to do, weird huh? I can of act like on the movie RUN AWAY BRIDE right before she gets married and this time she is waiting for her groom to arrive. Her girlfriends are trying to calm her down and tell her ways to relax, it is pretty funny and that is almost exactly how my girls have to help me each time before I speak! Thank goodness for my girls!

It felt like it went great and many of the women came up and thanked me for my words and for helping them with areas of their lives that they were struggling with. One lady came up and said "do you know why people like to hear you talk?"  "It is because you are real, you don't try to sugar coat everything, you share the good with the bad."  I love doing motivational speaking engagements to others, giving them hope and maybe helping them find a reason to get up every day and try to make good changes in their lives. One quote that I used was "YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE INFLUENCE THAT YOU HAVE ON THE LIVES OF OTHERS" Thomas S. Monson  I do believe that is true, good or bad, we influence others. We all need to stop every now and then and look at our lives to see what kind of influence we are being, what kind of difference we are making.

Anyway, I am beyond spent. Today was treatment # 15, I feel like my skin is getting more tender and red every day. I did meet with the other oncologist today since my doctor is out of town. He basically said that every thing was going as it was expected. I looked healthy and that I can expect more redness, sore and fatigue by the end of this week. I do hope that I can not drop too low with these next 4 1/2 weeks of treatment.

Thanks for all of  your support. I am going to try and share my message tonight with you soon. I need to do a mini version of it, remember for those who ask me to share it on my blog...that it was an hour long!  But I would love to share it some time. A few women there asked if I would be willing to speak to some of their friends ? I said "sure I would love to", I love doing this. I will just have to wait a bit before doing my next one... but it gives me something to look forward to and to prepare for. Life is good, hard sometimes very hard but...good!

Good night dear friends!

"One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have whole-hearted enthusiasm. One needs to feel that one's life has meaning, that one is needed in this world." ____ Hannah Senesh

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