Yesterday Jeff and I went to our appointment with Dr. Taylor who is an oncologist for Radiation. It was his partner that we went to last time (7 years ago). it was weird walking into the hospital ...it was so quite and empty because of all the snow! Anyway, the appointment went well and took about an hour and a half. Dr. Taylor was very kind, respectful and thorough. He had studied my records and information before we came into his office because he knew all the details about me, my cancer this time and last. He was great to tell us everything and explain them in a way that we non-doctors could understand. Basically, he just explained Radiation and it's positives and negatives, all the while respecting our decision.
Long story is that we got the information that we came for and left a bit more knowledgeable about Radiation than when we arrived. Still ,it is something that I don't like to think about . Now with all that information and a few other things that we want to look up on our own, we will then need to think, study and pray about my decision. The game plan has changed this time, just simply because my statistics this 2nd time around haven't been as impressive. If I were to start Radiation it would be around the 10th of January. Not the way I wanted to start out the new year! We will see.
More often than not I struggle to come out of any of those meetings, without a lot of fear and doubt. So I came home and did a few things and then decided to go to bed. I cried myself to sleep, this has been a tough, and emotional week. I know many of these feelings are normal and I just want to keep expressing them for your sake and mine. Jeff is an amazing man and my biggest fan. He just held me last night and reminded me that I didn't have to do any of it alone and how many things we have to look forward to in our future. He is a great man and for that I am eternally grateful.
So just hang in there with me, I am still on this emotional roller coaster and still learning.
I am struggling with all the has to be done but I do know that all things will work out the way they are suppose to. I really don't have any more to say tonight. Hopefully this finds you well, happy and warm.