Well, today I had another appointment with my Physical Therapist. Mostly it was massage and that felt good. There were a few places on my arm that are not healing as fast as she would like, so she worked on those areas of CORDING (that is what she called it) which were a bit sore. The last 10 minutes she had me work in the gym on a machine for my arm strength, that was tough because I am soooo out of shape. My muscles were shaking. She reminded me when I left that I was ready (mobility wise) to sign up for Radiation. I was hoping that was a few weeks away. So I went to Radiation area and signed up for my first visit, next Tuesday. That session is where I meet with the Dr. for the first half hour and then the next hour and half they personally select a treatment plan for me, they tattoos the areas that they want to radiate. I know my life isn't going quite the way I planned it, when I heard that I had to have tattoos! :)
I also signed up for Physical Therapy for the next 3 weeks, so my life is about to get more---------something? I read a couple of quotes today that seemed to sum up my thoughts.
You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
I still am shocked that I am having to fight this cancer battle again. I wonder what it is that I am suppose to learn that I missed the first time? As the next quote goes...
Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.
Theodore N. Vail
I have been talking a lot to cancer survivors who have gone down the road of radiation and tomoxifen and asked them what their results were. I realize that my situation will not be exactly the same, but I do need to be well informed of what I might be required to face and endure. I want to know the facts, there is a lot of difference from what a survior tells you verses the doctors. I tend to listen more attentively to the one that have had to experience it. The survivor that I talked to today ,said that when she was doing radiation she just slept about 17- 18 hours a day. She said that she would set her clock to get her kids up and out the door then back to bed until the alarm rang, for her to pick the kids up and try to manage something eatable for dinner. It is hard for me to imagine being any more tired that I have been in the past few months but I just need to be prepared if that does happen.
Some people have reminded me that the experience for me may be different, they are right....actually I pray that they are right but, for some reason I feel I need to know as many facts that I can; so I for one can study out what I can do to combat them and also to prepare myself mentally for the challenges ahead. If they don't happen to me that would be a blessing. I just want to know what I can do to adequately prepared and how to help my kids be prepared for. I realize that it doesn't hurt for my kids to help out and serve but... I do wish at times ,I could be the NORMAL mom for them and be at all their games, do things with them, have great meals waiting for them and on and on. I know that's just life and it won't last forever! But honestly the last couple of month have seemed like forever!
Thanks again for all of your support and positive thoughts coming my way! I can certainly use them!
The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much.