I think the reason that I love Saturdays is because we are all together. The days are busier than my normal days, even though I am always busy. I just enjoy having Jeff and the kids around ...especially lately. I realize the strength and hope that they give me and I am very grateful for that. When my granddaughter Angie comes over, I am always magically transformed from Lynn into NANA, someone who isn't scared or worried. NANA is just someone to hug and have a tea party with. I realize to Angie I will always be normal to her. She will not have known me, before my mastectomy or cancer. I will just always be NANA to her and for that I am more than grateful. In just a few minutes with her, I want to smile more, I laugh more, I feel happier than I have in days, I feel important and needed and most of all LOVED! I need to never think about giving up ...I have way to much to live for!
I have realized that this whole week I have still been grieving. Grieving for part of myself that has been taken away and the realization of how that is going to change my life. I love this quote...
"HOPE IS THE FEELING THAT THE FEELING YOU HAVE ISN'T PERMANENT" ----Jean Kerr
I guess that is where I am, hoping that these feelings won't last forever and that I will indeed be a different person when this is all over, a better and much wiser person, I hope. I also read this quote today...
"THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN SORROW AND SELF-PITY. SORROW IS A TEMPORARY RESPONSE TO A SPECIFIC SITUATION. SELF-PITY IS AN ONGOING ATTITUDE THAT PERMEATES OUR LIVES. SORROW SAYS " I HURT." SELF-PITY SAYS "POOR ME."
I am not going to write much tonight, I am still hurting and still trying to learn from this situation.
Thanks for your continual thoughts and prayers!