Today is Monday and I knew when I got up. that this is my last week of radiation...thank goodness. Everyone that talks to me and reminds me that I just have a little bit longer to go, they even act excited. I know that they want me to be excited too, but for some reason ...I am not. I am hurting and realize that the burning of my skin is still going to be going on for at least a couple of weeks. So yes, technically I only have this week left but as for the pain...I still have a while and that is hard to think about.
I am reading a book called RECOVERING CHARLES by Jason Wright, it is an interesting story and it does keep my mind off of the pain. Can't really seem to focus on anything these last few days. The story is about a boy and the struggles that he has had in his life. His mom and dad both had huge challenges in their lives and the whole book is about how they handled them ( or didn't handle them) and the effect that this had on him his whole life. Parents have such a major impact on their kids whether they believe it or not, good and bad.
The story goes back and forth from the present to the past and one of the things that I liked in my reading today was when he talks about how when he was young that it was tradition over the dinner table in their family to tell O.G.T. (One Good Thing) about their day, no matter how bad it was. That was a positive thing for him and continued to be throughout his adult life. I thought about that O.G.T., it is important to remember and sometimes focus on that, especially if it was a tough day.
So today I will try and remember that before I close this post. I was almost late today when my friend came to pick me up, now I am guessing... it is because it isn't a place that I want to go. If she was picking me up to head to a Quilt Shop then I imagine that I would have been ready and waiting at the door! :)
I wasn't sure what today was going to be like exactly, it was long and different. Better....not really! Worse...not really! They started out marking my incision area, then the Dr. came in and looked to make sure that all the calculations were right and he also checked my skin. "You're skin is having quite a reaction isn't it? Well, the good thing is, when it is bad like that then there is a much higher chance that you won't ever have a reoccurrence in that area again." He then proceeded to tell me how long it continues to burn before it heals and then he left. The tech's then went ahead and did the radiation, then did the tattooing on me and some more markings and some more films and headed me on my way.
So it was a bit longer and just different today. There was one lady in the waiting room that I met last week and she seems like a real sweetheart. She got an infection I think her first week in radiation. She hasn't been feeling well and so I brought her a card and a book from the chapel called WE CARRY EACH OTHER. I hope she wasn't offended by it. I only thought that it would give her a little more hope and support. The stories in there (like I have mentioned before) are wonderful, honest and enlightening. I don't know, at least that is what it did for me! You never want to step across the line with people and their believes, but usually when it comes to Cancer, you are safe to mention God...because everyone is either, relying on Him to be there or hoping that their is one. Crisis seem to do that to a person, they push you to know what value system you believe in and fast. Anyway, I hope that it gives her some comfort and hope, she still has a long way to go.
I came home and went straight to bed, laying down isn't that comfortable but it is better than being up and having my arm move back and forth, creating friction on my burnt skin. Now everyone is starting to head home, I need to go but I do need to leave with O.G.T. for the day, even though the day isn't over.I guess my ONE GOOD THING would be... that I have a great family, wonderful friends and a knowledge that everything happens for a reason. Those things give me strength to continue when I don't think I can or don't want to. For that I am grateful . Thanks!
P.S. "Some days I wish that I could put on my magical shoes,click my heels a few times and then be transferred to another place and another time....wonder where I could get a pair of those shoes?"
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create." __Albert Einstein
"Or maybe I just need a magical wand like my granddaughter has, she looks more than ready to go to another place and time. Imagination is a wonderful thing, too bad we lose some of that when we grow up. I have got to find out where to get one of those wands too!" :)
"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe." ___Antole France
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