Thursday, March 19, 2009

Heaven or Hell?

I just had to put that title so that you would make sure and read this post. Just kidding, it actually goes with the story below. I decided last night when I was struggling so hard, to have a happy thought... that I needed to do something today other than feel sorry for myself. So I decided to get up and head to the hospital. There was a lady there that I became friends with and I knew that she was nearing the end of her treatments and I also knew she was feeling pretty bad. I still haven't forgotten those days. So I brought her my one of my seatbelt covers so that might help with her burn, when she has to be in the car ( which is every day). They really work. She looked happy to see me but she was really sore and very tired. I stayed for just a moment and then spoke to a few of the tech's, nurses, and staff there that I have become friends with, it was definitely the right choice, to make today. I even saw my surgeon in the hallway and we spoke for a few minutes.

After all my visits I went to the Chapel to visit. Gee, I really love that place, it is full of hope and peace and I have been struggling with that today. Once again I picked up the prayer journal and read the heartfelt prayers of the patrons there. Wow, one entry the person was praying that her friend would get well enough to do the kidney transplant and how grateful she was to be able to be the donor. Here I am feeling sorry for myself, I was amazed at the love this person had for another that they would be a donor. Now I am going to be a donor but ...that is after I am gone, that doesn't take near the courage. What a neat prayer that was. I also read one, from a couple and they were thanking GOD that they were able to hear their baby's heartbeat today. Gee sometimes when you have always had healthy pregnancies, you take for granted hearing that baby's heart beat. I found out that a dear friend of mine today had a miscarriage, they say it is an incredible heartache for a mom.That is one thing, thankfully that I have no experience on. The last one said, "Please help me Lord in my mission here on earth". Isn't that true, everyone has a  mission and a purpose in life, some times... it just takes a while to find it.

I have known for a long time what my mission is. I know that I am suppose to make a difference through service and helping others who are going through struggles that I have already gone through. I am suppose to learn and use that knowledge to make life just a bit better or easier for the next survivor. I am suppose to help them learn not only to survive, but thrive and truly enjoy their lives. I realized today that I have let other things get me down and cloud that vision of helping others. You have to be on higher ground to lift someone else up. So today I have to admit, the best choice I made was getting up and get moving, go see and help someone else and like always... it helps me too. I can't believe I would ever go back to the hospital unless I had to, but it was different today, I was going for a different purpose and the bonus was being able to see the wonderful people that helped me along the way, during my treatments and for that I was truly grateful.

So that is the is SERVICE, going outside of yourself to help someone else. I know that, I even teach that, but I let pain and doubt get in my way. I know I am not over the hard part yet but tod was a start. I got another wonderful glimpse of what life is really suppose to be like, and it felt GREAT!

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."   ___Anne Frank

Here is one of my favorite stories on service.

 A man was talking with God about Heaven and Hell. "Come," said God. "Walk with me, and I will show you Hell."
And together they walked into a room of cold, rough stone. In the center of the room, atop a low fire, sat a huge pot of quietly simmering stew. The stew smelled delicious, and made the man's mouth water. A group of people sat in a circle around the pot, and each of them held a curiously long-handled spoon. The spoons were long enough to reach the pot; but the handles were so ungainly that every time someone dipped the bowl of their spoon into the pot and tried to maneuver the bowl to their mouth, the stew would spill. The man could hear the grumbling's of their bellies. They were cold, hungry, and miserable.

"And now," God said, "I will show you Heaven."
Together they walked into another room, almost identical to the first. A second pot of stew simmered in the center; another ring of people sat around it; each person was outfitted with one of the frustratingly long spoons. But this time, the people sat with the spoons across their laps or laid on the stone beside them. They talked, quietly and cheerfully with one another. They were warm, well-fed, and happy.
"Lord, I don't understand," said the man. "How was the first room Hell; and this, Heaven?"
God smiled. "It's simple," he said. "You see, they have learned to feed each other."

"Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves."                 __James M. Barrie


"I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."    ____Albert Schweitzer

1 comment:

Amy said...

I really liked that story, instead of hell being a horribly awful place, it was a place of selfishness and frustration which can easily be changed with looking outside yourself as the heaven room had found out. Thanks so much for sharing that story. Hang in there... I love you!