Well, I promised my Physical Therapist that I would go back to my Surgeon and have her check out this edema in my chest wall (surgery side) and arm pit area. Her concern is that for over a month, she has been trying to decrease my edema by massage and it hasn't responded. Her other concern is that my anterior chest/inferior axilla are very tender and painful, which is not typical of edema alone. She wants me to find out how long the effects of radiation are expected to linger and if that could possibly be the cause of my pain or is there more to look into. Also I have to ask the surgeon how to actually check my chest wall for reoccurring lumps, (yes you read it right, even after a mastectomy, you can still have cancer return on your chest wall, remember cancer is an inside job) I think that is a bit of information many women don't know before having the surgery. Also my oncologist told me that they don't feel like the ordinary lumps that I have had in the past.
Now just writing the words MORE TO LOOK INTO and LUMPS has made my stomach start to churn? Why? I guess it is because it is yet again the UNKNOWN. I know I need go but YUK! All scary stuff, wish I could jump in a time machine and tomorrow would already be in the past!
One survivor said this...
"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot."
And so I will go tomorrow and pray that this is just the effects of radiation and nothing more. The scars of cancer are hard to some times live with. I have to really concentrate on just thinking everything will be fine unless told otherwise. I am scared, I have to be honest about that. I don't want to even go back into that same arena again but I will, just to find out more information.
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I'll try again tomorrow." ~ Mary Anne Radmacher-Hershey
Thanks for all you prayers and support, I can still use them. Good night dear friends.
Here is a photo that Lauren took of Angie near a bush, she was touching the ivy with a twig but with some talent and photo shop, she put a key in Angie's hand and a lock in the bush. Secret Garden is the look she was going for.The timeless tale of a special place where magic, hope and love grow.
"Don't get discouraged; it is often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock." ~ unknown
"The key to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." ~ Ralph Marston