A couple of weeks ago when my granddaughter Angie was over, she came into my room while I was changing. As usual I just tried to give her other things to do or play with, so that I could have some privacy in getting dressed. But as a normal three year old, she is very curious and kept trying to see what my body looked like. At one point she just kept circling around me till she saw me and then she said with such a serious little voice and face "Nana, you only have one bodies" as she pointed to my chest.
I wasn't sure what I should do or say, I finally bent down and let her see my scar and then she touch it and said it again. I said yes, remember when it was an owie? Now it is all better now. We then talked for a minute about how it doesn't hurt any more ( she remembered the burn and owie that I had for months). Then as quickly as it started, she was off to look at something else in my room. I started finished getting dressed, thinking that her little mind was somewhere else, but as soon as I put on my bra, she said "Nana, now you have two bodies". She seemed to think all was well, and then she left the room.
I smiled when she left, thinking of how innocent these little children are, they see things and just want to know what it going on. I well remember months ago when I didn't even want Jeff or myself, to have to look at the incision and burn, now here I am letting my little granddaughter touch and see it and trying to explain to her that Nana is going to be alright.
As I talked to a sweet peaceful feeling came over me and reminded me, that I am truly going to be alright. Yes, I have to go the rest of my life with just "ONE BODIES" but I am here and I am healthy and with my family and friends around me, yes... I am going to be alright!
I will let Amy tell Angie in a few years, why nana can't come to show and tell at school with her just "one bodies". :) I am sure there will be many more questions for me. My life won't be the same necessary as others. I will forever have to straighten my shirts, (because... of only having one bodies), I will forever have to do Physical Therapy ever day (because ...of only having one bodies and no lymph nodes), I will forever have to bring Mandy (my prosthetic) with me every day ( so... I can have two bodies), but I am surviving and I am grateful for that.
I am especially grateful for a sweet little granddaughter who reminded me that I am going to be ok and to enjoy every moment that I have. Gratitude...that is what this "ONE BODIES" reminds me of each day!
I know that many of you have been on this journey with me since the beginning of my cancer, how can I ever say thanks enough for your love and support? Thank you, (just like Angie) for reminding me that I am going to be ok!
"A young child is, indeed, a true scientist, just one big question mark. What? Why? How? I never cease to marvel at the recurring miracle of growth, to be fascinated by the mystery and wonder of this brave enthusiasm." ~Victoria Wagner
"Children are our most valuable natural resource." ~ Herbert Hoover
P.S. Ok, I found this little story that seemed to fit well with my post today...enjoy!
A little boy got lost at the YWCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with women grabbing towels and running for cover.
The child watched in amazement and then asked, “What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?”