Living Proof

Tonight Jeff and I watched the movie called The HELP. What an amazing story! What courage those ladies had, to finally change their lives and lives of generations to come. This is my picture when I was in Elementary School. I was the girl in the middle and my best friend Kathy was on my right ( left of me in the photo). Even though I had a big smile on my face for photos...I had a terrible secret and every day I wondered how I could ever survive that secret. I was a child of incest, my grandfather was the one who abused me. I dreamed every day that some how I would get out of my situation and be safe. I so hoped that some day I could  be a Mother and raise my children in a home that was safe and protected from such horrible abuse. I know many other survivors who said that they wished they had died, when they were in the midst of their abuse. I never felt that way, I knew it was wrong and just wanted it to stop, and for someone to protect me. I was a fighter, I never once thought it was ok or normal, I knew something was wrong for a family member to treat you like this.

I have mentioned this before, but I never told my best friend about my abuse....why? Well, I didn't tell because I didn't want her to get really hurt, that is what my grandfather said would happen to anyone I told. I did try to tell someone when I was 5 ....but I wasn't believed, not sure why they thought I would lie about something like that? So I kept that secret until my Amy girl ( my first child ) was born...she was the light of our world, I had never felt a happiness quiet like it ... that of being a MOM. But soon the realization that she was my little girl, some people said she even looked like me as a child. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. What was I thinking? How could I keep her protected and safe, when my grandfather was still alive, and living on the family farm?

That was the beginning of breaking this awlful chain of abuse, that had plaqued our family for at least 3 generations ...if not more. I started to get help, couseling truly did save my life. I was living proof that something had to change... and I have spent the rest of my life, telling my story and hoping that other victims could soon feel the freedom and the peace that comes from being a survivor. Life is really better, life is worth living for.

When I heard this song Living Proof on the movie tonight, it made me think of my life. No I did not go through what the people in this movie did, but in some small and different way...I felt like I understood what it meant to fight against an injustice... mine was abuse!

I hope every person out there who has been hurt, broken and damaged by abuse...will realize that there is a God in Heaven and He loves you. I hope you pray for strength and courage to tell your story, to tell the truth and to stop the abuse...starting with you. Remember what was said in the movie..."You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important". I promise you that is true. And no matter how broken or damaged you feel, through your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ's help...you can heal...truly heal! I know, because I am Living Proof! ( the lyrics to the song is below )

Good night dear friend

It's gonna be a long, long journey
It's gonna be an uphill climb
It's gonna be a tough fight
It's gonna be some lonely nights
But I'm ready to carry on
I'm so glad the worst is over
('Cause it almost took me down)
I can start living now
I feel like I can do anything, yeah
And finally I'm not afraid to breathe
Anything you say to me
And everything you do
You can't deny the truth
'Cause I'm the living proof
So many don't survive
They just don't make it through
But look at me
I'm the living proof, oh yes, I am
Thinking 'bout life's been painful, yes, it was
Took a lot to learn how to smile
So now I am gonna talk to my people
About the storm, about the storm
Oh, so glad the worst is over
('Cause it almost took me down)
I can start flying now
My best days are right in front of me
And I'm almost there 'cause now I'm free
Anything you say to me
And everything you do
You can't deny the truth
'Cause I'm the living proof
So many don't survive
They just don't make it through
But look at me
I'm the living proof
I know where I'm going
'Cause I know where I've been
I'm gonna feel strong, that's showin'
I'm gonna be strong, keep growin'
That's the way that I will
Anything you say to me
And everything you do
You can't deny the truth
'Cause I'm the living proof
So many don't survive
They just don't make it through
But look at me, yeah, yeah
I'm the living proof
Nothing about my life has been easy, no
But nothin's gonna keep me down, no, down
'Cause I know a lot more today
Than I knew yesterday, now
So I'm ready to carry on, oh Lordy, mmm, mmm

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Mary J Blige The Living Proof is a new song recorded by the R&B Queen especially for the new movie "The Help", due in August 2011

Songwriters: Mary J Blige.; Jr Mason., Harvey; Thomas Newman; Damon Thomas.