Yesterday was a tough day for me. I was doing good in the morning, but later in the afternoon I hurt my back and neck, doing something very simple... like picking up my granddaughter out of the crib. I felt it right away and knew I was in trouble. The pain actually made me sick to my stomach, and so needless to say, the rest of the day went down hill from there. For some reason, I couldn't quite get on top of my feelings. I felt like, I am always going to be hurting and unable to do so many SIMPLE things. I worried that it would be like this forever, yes I was stuck in that moment, and it became one of those BIGGER THAN ME DAYS very quickly.
I had to take some pain medicine and then usually I lay down but actually the pain was so bad, that I felt antsy and just keep walking around. I finally got a bit of relief and I took off and went for a drive. It was a beautiful day and I kept wondering if I would ever be able to go for a walk again and enjoy the fall weather? I wondered if I am always going to hurt? If I am ever going to be able to hold my grand-kids? Would it be like this forever? Yes, today my problem seemed so huge. Jeff went somewhere with me later that evening, and I cried and told him that I didn't want to keep doing this. I didn't want this type of life...in pain all the time. I explained to him that I just can't keep doing this, it is wearing me down. He just held me and tried to tell me that things would get better...I doubted it though!
When I went to bed last night, I tried to tell my Heavenly Father all the things I am missing, with all this pain. I tried to remind Him of all the good things, I could do if I had my health back. Yes, once again...I was telling Heavenly Father what is best for me. I beat He gets that alot, but yet somehow, I also know that He understands.
Thank goodness, today is a better day and I have decided, I can continue to do this...if that's what's required. I hope that it isn't, but I need to remember to be patient and diligent in doing all that I can to get stronger. I know that it will not be an easy fix! Some how in my life...it never is!
So this story was the perfect one for me today, to remind me to try and stand back and not only count my blessings but look at the bigger picture! I hope it is a good reminder for you too, good night!
An old farmer had plowed around a large rock in one of his fields for years. He had broken several plowshares and a cultivator on it and had grown rather morbid about the rock.
After breaking another plowshare one day, and remembering all the trouble the rock had caused him through the years, he finally decided to do something about it.
When he put the crowbar under the rock, he was surprised to discover that it was only about six inches thick and that he could break it up easily with a sledgehammer. As he was carting the pieces away he had to smile, remembering all the trouble that the rock had caused him over the years and how easy it would have been to get rid of it sooner. ~ Brian Cavanaugh "The Sower's Seeds"
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." ~M. Kathleen Casey
"We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way." ~Author Unknown