I am still reading the book MARRIED FOR BETTER, NOT WORSE by Gary and Joy Lundberg .One section that really stood out to me was the chapter called ...Secret #9 Be your mate's favorite cheerleader.
I was discussing with a dear friend the other day, some problems that they were facing in their home. She said that she was struggling to watch her husband have so much stress and big decisions on him. He was even acting different, and both of them didn't seem to know which direction to go next. I know how that feels, Jeff and I have both been there before...it is a really tough, and scary place.
What I liked in the book was this part...
Picture yourself as a member of a basketball team. Your fellow teammate has been fouled and is at the free throw line. The game is tied with only 3 seconds left. He bounces the ball, takes a deep breath, and tosses it toward the basket. The crowd is dead silent. The ball hits the inside of the rim, rolls around, and bounces out of the basket. No score. So close, but no score. You step forward with other teammates and give him supportive fives and words of encouragement. He moves to the line for his second throw, feeling the support of his team while sweat rolls off his forehead. Another deep breath, the toss and ...it's nothing but net! The crowd goes wild. Your teammate is a hero. And the whole team is cheering, laughing, and hugging each other.
Now consider the same scenario. your teammate is at the line ready to make his first shot. He misses. You move in close to him and say, " You should have made the basket! You knew how the team was depending on you. You had your big chance and you blew it. You don't have the talent to make the next shot, so why even try." What is the likelihood of your teammate making the next shot after a comment like that? What is the likelihood of anyone with your attitude remaining on the team?
On a successful team, that kind of belittling would never happen. Teammates work together--they are each other's most valuable cheerleader. When one succeeds, the whole team succeeds and everyone is happy. That needs to happen in marriage. As a spouse, you are a member of the most important team in the world--your "home" team.
"When love and skill work together expect a masterpiece." ~ John Ruskin
"Even if marriages are made in heaven, man has to be responsible for the maintenance." ~ James C. Dobson
"If there is forbearance, if there is forgiveness, if there is an anxious looking after the happiness of one's companion, then love will flourish and blossom. The prescription is simple and wonderfully effective. It is love. It is plain, simple, everyday love and respect." ~ Gordon B. Hinckley