I have to admit that for some reason the past few days, have seemed very dark for me. I couldn't find much to be happy about and the feelings I had about myself, were very self defeating to say the least. I sorta felt that this darkness, has been creeping up on me for the few weeks now. I cry more than normal, everything seems too big to handle and the worst is, I felt a sadness about myself and my life that really wasn't healthy at all. I was sharing these feelings with a dear friend and her comment was, 'you need to go easy on yourself Lynn, for the past 3 weeks you and Jeff both have had pneumonia, you had a friend pass away, Lee was sick, your granddaughter got really sick and because of your illnesses, you haven't been able to keep up on the exercises that the PT has given you, so you haven't really had very much improvement on your back, neck and knees. You have had a lot on you.'
Well, that is good and true but the truth is, that is exactly what most of what my life has been and yet I usually can always find things to be happy and grateful about. I even noticed a week or so ago, that I was jealous of someone, for something! That is really not like me, oh I some times wonder what it would be like to have health, money, resources to go on vacations and so on, but I am truly not jealous. And yet I was, and it felt bad. I noticed that my communication with my Heavenly Father has even been less and that always makes me feel sad too. Probably it also makes Him sad.
So the past couple of days, I have tried to stay off to myself, keep my mouth shut, so some of the discouraging things...didn't come out, and then I just prayed and prayed hard to know what was going on. Last night after another sincere, and heartfelt prayer, I felt a bit of light coming through. I felt hopeful that this darkness that was around me, didn't have to stay forever! Today has been even better and once again, even though I am still in pain, still make the same amount of money, still have the same limitations and restrictions...I feel happy and I am soooooooooooo grateful for that.
Another dear friend of mine spoke in church lately, and her talk was about prayer. She compared it to light. She was kind enough to share her notes with me so I could use it in my blog. I will only use part of it tonight, but it was exactly what I needed to read again. What a great friend she is to me. So I will leave you with these words, and tell you that I probably did take for granted these last few weeks, my communication with my Heavenly Father. I was too sick, too tired, or whatever, to do what I needed to do...which was pray for help and strength. Prayer has always been essential in my life, I am not sure why I let that slip? I now can feel the light, and it is something I need not take for granted anymore! Good night dear friends!
The Power of Prayer
Since 1879, the electric light bulb has changed the way we see the world. Small shacks may be merely lit by a dusty yellow street lamp outside, and lavish mansions are illuminated by great chandeliers. Because of them we can work 24 hours a day, we can perform surgery in the dead of night if we need to, we can illuminate anything, almost anywhere, at the flip of a switch. Think of the hope and joy that comes to one, struggling in a dark cave or well, when finally they see the lights of rescuers coming to save them. Rescuers who will call their name, until they hear a response….
What power is behind that little carbon filament, what power behind that light we take so for granted.
Prayer is something that many of us may take for granted, perhaps we do it, but it has become too routine, mundane. We underestimate the power it can have in our lives. The truth is, sincere, heartfelt prayer has the power to save our souls, our marriages, our families, and enable us to be a light to others.
“God knows our needs better than we can state them, but He wants us to approach Him in faith to ask for blessings, safety, and comfort.” ~ James E. Faust
"The value of consistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but that we will hear Him." ~William McGill
"Prayer may not change things for you, but it for sure changes you for things." ~Samuel M. Shoemaker