All my life I have admired people who really like themselves. They seem to be comfortable in their own skin and they like their body and carry themselves with a since of pride. Not in a conceited way, but in a confident and graceful way. I on the other hand, have never been one of those people. I have struggled for years with my self-esteem. I am so critical of myself, but would never judge others with the same critical eye.
We have been blessed to have our son and daughter-in-law, live with us for a few months...while they were doing their internships. My sweet daughter-in-law is ... one of those people who is comfortable with who she is. I am not saying that she never feels unsure about herself, (I think everyone does from time to time ) but mostly she is happy and has confidence. I admire that and need to be more like that. For some reason I tend to look at all the things that are wrong with me and it is a rare moment when I look into the mirror and like what I see.
Today Krystal and I were talking and she was telling me a certain fashion of clothes that I would look good in. I laughed and commented to her that I could never wear this or that. She talked about dresses and I told her I hadn't worn a dress in 15 years, they just don't make them for my shape. From that minute on, she was on a mission. She told me that we needed to go to the stores today and she would prove to me that I can wear different fashions. So we just all of a sudden made the decision (she is quite persuasive) and left. Our first stop was Macy. I really don't even go into Macy, because I have never been able to afford their clothes. But we went in and just decided to try a few things on. I have to admit ... I was amazed at how nice some of those outfits looked on me. I would have never tried some of those on, you know how you some times get stuck in the same fashion rut? She had me try on all sorts of styles and colors...it was so fun! She made me feel like a million bucks, she just kept telling me how nice this or that looked. It was a real treat and something that I needed today.
The down side is that we just were able to put it on hold and had to walk away and just think about it. I am not sure what I have to think, but they were beautiful clothes, and we had a wonderful time.
I have always had trouble with shopping. I don't like to spend money, I won't go in debt for it and most of the time, I don't feel like I would look good in it anyway. I have struggled even more with this since my mastectomy. I am always wondering if this or that neck line, shows the caved in part up near my collar bone from my surgery? But today when I was sitting in the dressing room waiting for Krystal to bring in some more clothes, I looked deep into the mirror at myself and thought..."Lynn, most people wouldn't even notice you had a mastectomy", "You need to love yourself more, you need to be comfortable with who you are and remember to appreciate that even though you have had cancer twice, a mastectomy and every other disease known to man...that you are still alive." "You need to be grateful for your body." "You need to be more accepting of yourself!"
So it was a fun and insightful evening, thank you Krystal for helping me come out of my comfort zone, out of my old fashion habits and at least TRY something new! Thanks also for reminding me that my attitude about myself is very contagious to my family and those I associate with each day! I will try and do better and yes I did look nice in some of those clothes! I am still trying to think what I could sale to get them! :)
"YOU CAN EXPLORE THE UNIVERSE LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY WHO IS MORE DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE AND AFFECTION THAN YOU ARE YOURSELF, AND YOU WILL NOT FIND THAT PERSON ANYWHERE!"
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gifted ability, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace from that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is play on the one string that we have and this string is, Attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you....We are in charge of our Attitudes.
-- Charles Swindoll