My whole life I have struggled to find that balance between being too busy and feeling like I am not doing enough. Then as I got older, with more kids and more responsibilities the struggle got even worse. When I got into my late 30's my body started rebelling on me, I guess it got tired of all the time I miss treated it...all in the name of being TOO BUSY. I didn't have time to stop and rest, there was always so much to do and so many others who needed something. I didn't help being a pleaser either, all those years. I hate to let people down, for some reason I felt like I personally should have been some type of superwoman so that I could help and serve all. When my body gave up, I really didn't have any choice other than to slow down and re-evaluate my life and changes that I needed to make. The sad part was that some of those things with my body did not restore themselves after such neglect. Now mind you I didn't neglect in every way... just certain ways. Everyone seems to have certain things that they feel passionate about, the struggle though is balance and there in lies the problem. You are probably wondering if I have ever had any counseling for this struggle? Yes, I have and believe it or not, I have even counseled others on how to take care of themselves. The trick is...like anything else in this world, you have to keep working at it, some times daily reminding yourself to do a BALANCE CHECK.
Some areas in my life I was better at than others like I was very aware of my food and I tried hard to remember to eat only what was good for me and I planned meals out that were good for my family too.I was always very concern about the moral decisions and principles that we were teaching our kids and making ourselves. But sleep wasn't one of those things that I actually believed in, it seemed like such a waste of time. So I only sleep 4-5 hours a night, that way I COULD DO MORE! (Balance ...yeah, I wasn't very good at that ). Isn't it funny how it is always easier to see the mistakes and wrong decisions of others, easier than recognizing them in yourself? Or how it is easy to take care of yourself in some ways and neglect others.
Tonight I just got up from a nap, I was sooo tired and hurting that I felt sick. All day, I probably should have laid low but I didn't. I was out of balance yet again! I sorta feel like a slow learner, I know that in order to serve and help others, that you need to pace yourself and listen carefully what your body is saying to you. Today I must have had a relapse because I could feel the wall that I was hitting with my fatigue and pain and yet I didn't stop, I just kept going. I think I even said to myself "Lynn, you don't have time to be this tired or feeling sick, you just don't have the time." When the truth was.... I have as much time as everyone else in the world, I just need to prioritize and stop when I need to stop. Why is that such a tough thing to understand and learn?
Anyway, I am going to head to bed again, maybe I can start feeling a bit better if I do. Please take notes from a lady that truly knows... but has a hard time following through. Don't push through that wall, it is not worth it. ( I am not talking about all your runners and the wall, I am talking about the wall that signals to your body when you need to stop and relax.) You will have a lot more to offer others if you take care of yourself first and you will be a lot happier; the feeling that you are always letting someone down or not meeting their need is a negative one and will not serve you in the end. Thanks for listening and for caring for me, even if I am a slow learner! :)
Painting by Jeremy Wilson
Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter ask for a job in a timber merchant, and he got it. The paid was really good and so were the work conditions. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best. His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to work. The first day, the woodcutter brought 18 trees "Congratulations," the boss said. "Go on that way!" Very motivated for the boss words, the woodcutter try harder the next day, but he only could bring 15 trees. The third day he try even harder, but he only could bring 10 trees.Day after day he was bringing less and less trees. "I must be losing my strength", the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on. "When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked. "Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees..." Stephen Covey
"The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is on the contrary born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life.
When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything
else - we are the busiest people in the world." - Eric Hoffer