For the past 3 years...I have been very blessed to be healthy. So much of my life I have been sick and down for one reason or another. In the past when I was down with my back or battling cancer or whatever, I knew that at least sitting down I could draw, crochet, paint, make thank you notes or do something with my hands. But when I did have pneumonia in the past, I well remember not having the desire or the strength to do anything but just sit or sleep.
When I went to the Doctor on Monday evening and explained to her my concern of not getting better and actually getting worse (after only being out in the public 3 days); she told me something that made me feel a bit better. She said this has been a terrible year for the flu and viruses that have been going around. She has seen many patients who have had it for anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks.
Why is it comforting to know that you aren't the only one? There is a lot of truth in that, knowing that there are others who have had it or experienced it...for some reason makes you feel less ISOLATED and ALONE!
The tough thing about being so sick that you don't want to do ANYTHING at all, is that it makes for LONG DAYS and LONG NIGHTS. I keep coughing so hard that I feel like my ribs will break, I get winded to even go up or down the stairs to eat. I am lonely, but even talking on the phone hurts my throat and causes me to cough. I love to read, but I even feel too bad to want to do that even. I hope the antibiotics kick in soon so I at least feel like doing something, anything!
I realized now that I took my good health for granted, I just kept doing more and more, and was loving the fact that I was up and healthy and able to accomplish soooooo much each day.
Now I am nervous about just going out at all and being around anyone who is sick. I remember after my radiation treatments and that next year having pneumonia, one month after another... I thought I would never go out in public again because of all the germs. Finally after 2 years of being sick, I was able to get healthy and stay healthy. I didn't worry about being around someone sick, because I knew my immune system was up and running ...doing it's job.
Now here I am again, worried if someone comes near me with a cough or sneezing!
I know this too will pass, just trying to remember the LESSONS that I need to learn from this.
1. Pace myself, be ok with saying No sometimes, and not taking on too much at one time.
2. Continue to eat better, cleaner, healthier...hard to expect my body to help me out if I don't fuel it properly.
3. Don't overdo, as much as I want to do so many things and help so many people, I still have to be smart about my choices that effect my time and energy.
4. Replace what I have lost...time, energy and sleep.
5. Be positive, this too will pass but don't forget what it felt like to be this sick...make better choices all around.
Life is sure full of lessons isn't it? Seems like if we don't learn from them the first time, they keep happening to us ...until we finally learn from them. Some times I wonder why I am such a slow learner?