We had a friend of ours pass away just recently. He was a son, husband, father and friend. He was in his early 50's, he had a lot of health issues that he had been battling for quite some time. Recently he got diagnosed with cancer and by the time they found it, it was too far gone. I remember when we first got the news, we knew that they had a daughter getting married soon and wondered if he would even be still here for that? He did, then passed away,soon afterwards. I worried about my friend's wife, how do you prepare and plan for a wedding,when you are trying to prepare to say good-bye to your husband? How do you handle all the emotions that come with learning something like that? Will there ever be enough time to prepare? Can you ever be ready?
I remember someone saying once " there is no good time, to say good-bye to a loved one. It's hard if they go suddenly and you didn't get to say good-bye, it is hard if they linger in pain and suffering for a long time, and you keep saying good-bye over and over again. I don't think there is ever a good way, or an easy way to say it.
Having had cancer twice in my life, I have definitely thought of saying good-bye to my loved ones, on more than one occasion. I wondered how you could ever help the ones that you leave, the ones that are left here on earth to continue to try to live on without you? The void will always be there , no one will ever be able to take their place. But I loved this poem by Gordon B. Hinckley, which was so hopeful.
I also like the later poem, I believe it is for those who find it hard to go on with life. Grieving is a natural process, no one can tell you how long it will take, it is a very personal thing, but I do think the second poem was a reminder to us all, that the loved one we lost, would like us to keep going on with out life. To keep living and yet still remember them. We will be together again someday, that knowledge alone...is a healing salve.
So our prayers go out to our friends and their family. And I will close tonight with this positive and hopeful poems.
What Is This Thing That Men Call Death?
What is this thing that men call death?
This quiet passing in the night?
‘Tis not the end but genesis
Of better worlds and greater light
O God, touch Thou my aching heart
And calm my troubled, haunting fears
Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.
There is no death, but only change
With recompense for vict’ry won
The gift of Him who loved all men
The Son of God, the Holy One. ~ Gordon B. Hinckley
"YOU CAN SHED TEARS THAT SHE IS GONE,
OR YOU CAN SMILE BECAUSE SHE HAS LIVED.
YOU CAN CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRAY THAT SHE'LL COME BACK,
OR YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE ALL SHE'S LEFT.
YOUR HEART CAN BE EMPTY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE HER,
OR YOU CAN BE FULL OF THE LOVE YOU SHARED.
YOU CAN TURN YOUR BACK ON TOMORROW AND LIVE YESTERDAY,
OR YOU CAN BE HAPPY FOR TOMORROW BECAUSE OF YESTERDAY.
YOU CAN REMEMBER HER ONLY THAT SHE IS GONE,
OR YOU CAN CHERISH HER MEMORY AND LET IT LIVE ON.
YOU CAN CRY AND CLOSE YOUR MIND,
BE EMPTY AND TURN YOUR BACK.
OR YOU CAN DO WHAT SHE'D WANT:
SMILE, OPEN YOUR EYES, LOVE AND GO ON." David Harkins