Monday, August 16, 2010

Another friend has gone on ahead!

In July, I wrote a  post about a dear friend of mine, who's Mother is battling lung cancer ( she too, is my friend ). I have tried to stay close in touch with her, because I well remember what it felt like, to be in the hospital for weeks watching someone you love, hang between life and death. I sensed on Saturday ( after reading the family's update ) that her Mom's time here on earth was getting shorter. My young dear friend called me yesterday to tell me that her Mother was gone. I tried to stay strong for her while on the phone, but I cried a long time that night, and I woke up crying about it this morning. 
  That is two friends who were battling cancer that passed away this week. My heart aches for them only because they will be missed, yet I know that they are well and happy now. I hurt also for the loved ones that are left behind. I remember when I got back from my Mother's funeral, it was Christmas time, and every one around me was busy and happy. I was happy that my Mom wasn't suffering anymore, but I just wanted everyone to stop their busy lives for just one minute, and acknowledge that I was experiencing a profound loss in my life. I am a daughter... and a daughter needs her Mom! I wanted to tell everyone how bad I hurt, I wanted them to comfort me and tell me that everything would be alright. I wanted someone to tell me how to go on in life, without a Mom, was hard to see so many people just going on with life, when I thought a big part of mine was ending! So I pray that my young dear friend will be able to take all the time she needs to grieve, and that she will remember that her Mom will stay near her. I pray that she will be surrounded by those who love her and that will give her support during this crucial time in her life.
I cried also because when you know anyone who is battling cancer it just... hits way too close to home. Having had cancer twice, we have feared some of the same things, we have wondered and imagined what it would have been like, if I had passed away. I personally again, wasn't worried about me and the actual dying part, but the part where I would have to be separated for a period of time from Jeff, the kids, my granddaughters and my friends. See when you are diagnosed with cancer, you become a member of that cancer survivor team. How long you will be on the team, no one knows. But it still hurts and scares you when one of your team members goes on ahead of you to the Finals. There is a comradery between cancer survivors, and I think that this because each of you have been through a life changing event. That in and of it's self no small thing!

So tonight, I pray that my dear young friend will stay close to God, I know her faith will bring her through this. And not only through it, but He will be with her the whole way and will be a strength to her and provide peace for her, a type of peace that she will not be able to get any where else in the world. I pray that her family and especially her Dad, will be able to find comfort and peace, the death and separation from your wife or husband is a terribly hard thing. I cried last night when Jeff held me. I don't ever want to take that for granted, how blessed I am to have him here, to hold me. I can't even imagine life without him or my kids, or maybe I can ...and that is what hurts so bad. I hope we all will not waste another minute, that we tell our family and friends how much we love them. And keep a prayer in your heart, for those who have to go on with life (for awhile) without the one they love by their side.

I want each of you to know of my love and appreciation for you, I wish I could write or talk to each of you personally and thank you for the great impact you have had in my life!  I DO NOT TAKE THAT FOR GRANTED! Not a prayer leaves my lips, without thanking my Heavenly Father for my association with each of you. Good night dear friends.

"Death ends a life, not a Relationship."  ~ Arbind Modi

"Death is not extinguishing the light, it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come."
~ Rabindranath Tagore

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
--- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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