Most of my life I have been called tenderhearted, I always thought it was because I get my feelings hurt easily. I looked up the word today and I think it means maybe also those who take things to heart easily. I do think that I do that a lot, I don't like conflict and I would rather say I am sorry than fight about something. But I am learning in my old age, that isn't healthy for me, if I am wrong then,I should be the first to apologize ...but to just apologize to get rid of bad feelings, isn't good either. So I am learning slow but sure, how to protect my heart more. Whatever it means ...I have also noticed that I do tend to be sympathetic to others and almost to a fault. I can watch a movie where some of the actors are sick or hurt or scared and I am right there with them. I have to tell myself it is just a movie and that they are just acting but for years that was even hard for me. This is hard for my family because DISNEY is about all I can handle! I hate to see people hurt, guess that is why I decided to go for the C.E.O position over the Woodard Family verses being a nurse. :)
Today I had my last check up with Dr. Taylor at Evergreen for radiation. I have to admit he was a wonderful Doctor, he has a great spirit about him and he is very compassionate. I was glad that I had a chance to meet him and all of the staff there, that part of my cancer journey, was positive for sure. He told me that things looked good and then told me that he wished the best for me. One of the nurses there remembered me from 7 years ago and mentioned she hoped we don't see each other again...at least with cancer. You know I thought about that as I left the office, this is my second time to fight cancer and I wonder if I will have to continue to fight it for the rest of my life? Then I quickly thought...what if...I don't get it and get to do a million more things in my life? I am telling you the WHAT IF game is seldom played in the positive way.
After my appointment, I went all around the hospital and visited all those that I have become friends with since I have been there. I also brought all of the Cancer Survivor Gifts that my friend and I have designed and made, plus of course Lauren's cards to show, and everyone loved them....I do think there is a great need for heart felt gifts to give those who are fighting and trying to survive cancer. I wish is some way that there is someone out there to invest in these gifts...we can produce them to a point... but if they were to be available at every hospital for every cancer patient then...it would have to be on a bigger scale. Anyway it was a hit with everyone there and so for 4 hours, I just went around and visited and showed our products. My other grandmother always said, that I should have been a peddler, because I was always packing around my creations and selling them. Maybe I missed my calling? No, a peddler has to have a strong back to walk and carry everything. I had a roll-a-bout case today and I was still on the phone to my chiropractic office as soon as I got home...for an appointment. If only my body had as much strength and energy as my passion for these type of things. Oh, I almost did the WHAT IF game again.
"MY MIND TELLS ME TO GIVE UP, BUT MY HEART WON'T LET ME"
I met a few people today that I didn't know, and they too were a joy to meet. I met a couple of survivor women and heard there sweet stories of either them or their families. Cancer has effected and touched many lives. I am always thrilled to see the ones that have changed their lives for the better... because of it. They are true survivors and I do believe having cancer tends to make you a bit more tenderhearted, because they do seem to have more compassion and sympathy.
So today was a good day, a bit too good because I was worn out, guess my post tomorrow will have to be about balance! :) Anyway, thanks again for being such a great support system for me, I only wish all cancer patients had as many dear friends and family as I do! Night!
"THE HUMAN HEART FEELS THINGS THE EYES CANNOT SEE, AND KNOWS WHAT THE MIND CANNOT UNDERSTAND" ____Robert Valett
"WHEREVER YOU GO, GO WITH ALL YOUR HEART" ___Confucius