Well, today is our youngest son Lee's 16th birthday! I am starting to feel old all of a sudden. I can well remember the day he was born and how excited we were to have him join our family. He has a baseball game tonight and so we will have to celebrate this weekend. Lee has loved any type of BALL since he was born. He always had a ball in his hand and he knew how to use it too. When he was just a little over a year old, were in the park playing and Lee of course had a ball (this time it was one of Brad's baseballs that he was playing with). A lady in the park near us, picked the ball up (when he kicked it to her ) and gave it back to Lee and then she said " Can you throw me the ball?" I was close by, and I realized that she thought he couldn't throw the ball very hard because she was way too close to him. She put her face down and said "ok, throw me the ball". I tried to stop him before he threw it but it was too late. He threw the ball right to her HARD and knocked the sun glasses off her face. She was ok, but shocked that he could throw with such accuracy. So it is fitting today that he is playing ball on his birthday. That definitely is a talent he has been blessed with.
I can still remember my 16th birthday, and how grateful I am that Lee is in a much better place at 16 years old than I was. I was engaged to be married the summer before my senior year of High School and no, it wasn't too Jeff either. I would go on and tell you the whole story, but it is too weird... and I am just grateful that 7 years later that I got to marry Jeff. Some day I am going to write a book so I am sure there will be a whole chapter on my Weird Dating Years, so stay tuned.
Today has been one of those Bigger Than Me days. I guess that I have been doing more than I should have lately, because today I hit the wall! I have been home all day and decided that I am going to have to be more careful about my schedule. It is just that I was basically in the house for 6 months, (other than treatment and Dr appointments) and it feels so good to be out and about now. I love being around everyone, I can still remember not wanting to see anyone or better yet...I didn't want anyone to see me. I was so afraid that those feelings would last forever, how grateful I am that they didn't! So I rested quite a bit today and tried to catch up on bills and other things that I have simply just not done lately. Cleaning ....just hasn't been a big priority lately, actually neither has cooking or laundry or....:) I just want to spend what energy I have on things that I really enjoy and that feed me... good energy. I sound like I am trying to get out of work but...it just feels like too much lately. Oh well, I am sure this too shall pass.
I have been teary eyed today, just thinking about Lee getting older, Lauren graduating in 2 months and I will be turning 50 this summer. I feel like I have lost so much time and experiences with everyone, because of all my illnesses, oh how I would love to feel GREAT every day and be out of pain. I know my back and neck pain will probably be a part of my life for a while but I just have missed doing so many things with Jeff and the kids.
Then I have to remember how blessed I am to even have them, there are many who have never married or had children, many who have way more health issues than I. I need to remember to keep things in perspective, I have much to be grateful for. So for now, I will enjoy Lee's 16th birthday and count my blessings that he is healthy and strong and a wonderful young man. I love him dearly and I am so grateful to be his MOM.
Thanks for listening. Hope you know that means a lot to me? Love, Lynn
"When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses." ~Joyce Brothers
"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone