My granddaughter and I were walking in the store yesterday and as we were holding hands, she reached up and rubbed my hand and said " Nana, are you old?" I was a bit confused and took a quick look at my hand and said " no, do I look old (as I was staring at my hand?") Her reply again was "Nana, are you old?" I then said "well, I am a little bit old but why do you ask?" Her question next was "Nana, are you going to get old? " Then I was a bit more confused and asked her what she meant.
(just a little background real quick...John's grandmother died last week, and so they have been talking alot about it at home )
Then came her reply "Grandma Dee, got old" I began to choke up and said "Well, I am trying real hard not to get old". She looked me right in the eye and replied " Nana, there are alot of things we still need to do together". I tried to just smile instead of cry. Then I finally composed myself and said, "Yes, we have alot of things we still need to do together, what are some of them?" Her little face got brighter and she began to list off all the things we want to do together.
Death is a tough concept for us adults, I am glad I asked her why, about some of those questions. Now I realize that in her sweet little 5 year old mind, she was trying to process her Grandma Dee dying and what was going to happen to me ...her Nana! How I wish I could have grabbed her up in my arms and promised her that I would never get old or leave her, and that we would have many, many years together...but first of all, she is way too big for me to pick up :) and second of all, none of us know that for sure...so I just gave her hand a squeeze and told her how much I loved her. And silently to myself, I promised that I will make the most of every day I have with her and her sister and all my loved ones!
So on that note, let me say thank you for being such an important part of my life. How I wish I could spend a whole day with each one of you, and personally let you know what you mean to me in my life. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful family and friends! Have a good night.
"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching."
"Every man dies- Not every man really lives." ~ William Ross Wallace
"A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty"