Sunday, February 20, 2011

Needs verses Wants

This is what our marriage class was about this weekend. I am so glad that we chose to go to these classes, I believe any couple could benefit from them. Needs verses wants is a huge thing in a marriage. Here are a few notes that I took, along with a neat quote about how we should feel toward our spouse, plus a incredible Indian proverb that reminds us to keep our needs and wants in check throughout our marriages!


If we try  to meet the needs of our spouse, then our needs will be met!

We need to make sure that we keep our thoughts and actions in check. It is easy to fall back into the same bad habits and patterns that we have had throughout out marriage, thus making life miserable for the both of us.

Changing a habit can be hard... but it is possible, it just depends on how bad you want it.

In Martial Arts ( I think that is how you spell it?) learn how to do things with great power but not great strength. When you stay relaxed and focused you have much more power to handle a situation.

There are things in our marriages that we need to just let go of. Continuing to fight and argue brings contention in our homes. When met with aggression it is important not to connect with it, if you do then, you both are locked into it and there is just a power struggle and no one really wins. ( Now, he was not talking about physically getting in fights or abuse of any type, that is not to ever be tolerated ). He was suggesting more that, many times we fuss and fight about things in our marriages that really don't serve us, his suggestion was to be bigger than the situation and yet also to try to be the first one to choose differently. Marriage is hard but it worth it!!!!

Two Wolves: A Cherokee Teaching

An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life...
He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
One wolf is evil -- he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego.
The other is good---he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."
They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied: "The one you feed".



“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.”  ~ George Elliott

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