Friday, March 4, 2011

Tonight was our last marriage class

We have really enjoyed the 5 week marriage classes that we have been going to. I have mentioned some of things before that we have learned, but what I think was most important is... understanding and recognizing that men and women are different. We think differently, we communicate differently, we talk differently, we listen differently and that is the way we are suppose to be. That is the way we were created. The trick in marriage is to, not only pick the right person that makes you whole, but to also be patient and understanding in this journey... we call marriage. To not only hang in there throughout the years, but learn to have Joy in our Journey together. When things are going right in our marriages and we are truly one, there isn't a better feeling in the world. There is a great synergy that comes from truly being connected. Life is just better, when our marriages are good.

So tonight we discussed  how to take the things we learned and apply them in our lives.They say the best way to learn something is to internalize it, live it and then teach it. It is a healthier way to live...when we are happy in our marriages, it is healthier for our children , it gives them a stronger foundation, and us too!

So here are some of the points that we reviewed from the last 4 weeks...

Have weekly date nights ...it is vital to reconnect and just spend time with each other each week, life is busy it is important to take that time out together.

Pray together... working and praying together about your struggles, you decisions with life or the kids. There is a great bonding power when you kneel down and pray as a couple.

Check in's ....once a month sit down with each other and check in. Ask each other these two questions. What is it that I am doing well? What is it that I can improve on?  Be honest with each other and make sure that both of you feel safe to share your honest opinions.

Meet each other's needs...As a companion it is important to tell what you needs are, in order to be met, they have to first be known. If you strive to always fulfill your partner's needs, your's will automatically be filled. Put your companion's needs first. Be aware of what those needs are daily.

Be loyal...that is vital in a great marriage, be loyal in not only your actions, but also in your thoughts!

Understand the differences... we were not make alike, so be aware of those differences and be patient with them.

Say you are sorry... not forgiving someone is like taking a little bit of poison every day, and expecting the other person to die! Not forgiving someone hurts you more. It is not always that important to be right. Learn to say you are sorry and really mean it!

Take the time...how much time are we willing to put into our relationship as husband and wife? Where on the priority list does that fall? It is vital to take the time because marriage can either be the happiest experience in your life, or the most painful and miserable experience in your life. You will get out of it... just what you are willing to put into it!

Jeff and I have been married 29 years this June and believe it or not...we are still working at it EVERY DAY! It is hard, but he is the love of my life and I want to do all that I can to try and make it better. When I take my eye off that goal, then I see all the things he does that bug me, I remember all the hurtful things he has done or said. I forget all the good things we have done and accomplished together. Yes, focus is important in a marriage. I need to try and focus more on the good, be patient with our differences and remember why I wanted to marry him in the first place...because I knew he was the one for me! Our marriage has not been a fairy tale, but a real life drama good and bad, the goal is to have more good times and less bad times. That means work, and that is what this class reminded me of. I am truly grateful we attended it. Grateful for the teachers that spent so much time and effort in sharing all these things with us. Yes, life is good... and I need to remember that more often!

" The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."  ~ Therodore Hesburgh 
"And the same goes for the mother."~  Lynn Woodard

"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."
-- Dave Meurer

"One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not. Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly renewed. That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time."
-- David Mace

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