It is interesting to me that no matter how tired you are or how long you have been dealing with something that other struggles and tests can keep coming. I am sure I have said on more than one occasion " I just need a break before I can handle anything else". Too bad life doesn't happen that way. I went to the Dr. yesterday and I still don't have good numbers for my fight against this mono. That really wasn't a big surprise because I am still so tired all the time. Last week Jeff was in a car accident, he is fine ( and we are grateful for that ) but our car was totaled and then... in an hour or so, I am going back for more tests, from something that they saw that concerned them at my last cancer check up. Still not knowing exactly what to expect, I realize that I am struggling to find the energy and peace that I need for today.
Some dear friends of mine sent me a card the other day that went something like this....LIFE ISN'T FAIR, WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO SUCH GOOD PEOPLE? I have to admit, joking or not I have said that more than once in my life. In my scripture reading today I was in the Book of Judges in the Old Testament, it was the story of Gideon, the Israelites had been suffering from the treatment of the Midianites. An angel had appeared to Gideon and told him that the Lord was with him and that he was mighty man of valour. I think Gideon's response was something I could relate to, when he said "IF THE LORD BE WITH US, WHY THEN IS ALL THIS BEFALLEN US?" I think it is so easy to ask that question often but I do believe that really doesn't help us to move forward and learn from these experiences or tests. Bad stuff happens to all people, someone once said "because our problems are designed to be our teachers in life then we shouldn't resent them and complain all the time. We don't want to risk missing the lessons that are to be learned from them. It would be like paying a huge tuition to go to college and then resenting the homework. Or having such a lack of faith in the educational process that we stomp our feet over every task assigned, demanding to know why we have been given the assignment. Everything in life is a test. We know that the test results are often based on our attitude as much as our aptitude. Knowing the answer to every question of "why" would deprive us of the opportunity to apply faith and trust." So true.
The story of Gideon even gets better, he does do all the things that are required of him but he has many tests along the way. This must have been the reason why I read that particular section today. I was searching for something to give me comfort and peace. I don't like to worry and I know that it is unproductive but ,I really struggle with controlling my thoughts when I have something like this that is before me. I need to remember that I have always been taken care of and guided to make the right decisions when I needed to, today shouldn't be any different.
So I will go get ready, take my best friend Jeff with me and remember that my Heavenly Father is close by and will be there the whole time. I pray that I can learn the things that I am suppose to from this. I need to learn that LIFE WILL JUST KEEP HAPPENING and I just need to ENJOY THE JOURNEY!